I met a lewd nude in Bermuda,
Who thought she was shrewd, I was shrewder;
She considered it crude
To be wooed in the nude –
I pursued her, subdued her, and screwed her.
I met a lewd nude in Bermuda,
Who thought she was shrewd, I was shrewder;
She considered it crude
To be wooed in the nude –
I pursued her, subdued her, and screwed her.
There was a young fellow, from Florida,
Who liked a friends wife, so he borrowed her;
When they jumped into bed,
He cried: “God! Strike me dead!
This isn’t a vagina – it’s a corridor!”
There was a young lady named Jo,
Whose lover had pulled out too slow;
So they tried it all night,
Till he got it just right –
Well, practice makes perfect you know!
There was a nurse anxious to score
With such style she was hard to ignore.
There’s one way she likes
But it gave me the frights,
But still I came back for more.
Said Miss Vero, at one of her bars:
“Sex is more fun in bed than in cars.
You feel more at ease,
Your ass doesn’t freeze,
And no one can see all my scars.
There was an old fellow named Bill,
Who swallowed an atomic pill;
His navel corroded,
His asshole exploded,
And they found both his nuts in Brazil.
Many years ago a girl I once knew,
Was in desperate need of a screw.
Not too hard to find, someone who is kind,
And would bang her till she was black and blue.
But who??
A diminutive maiden name Hilda,
Had a date with a top body-builder;
He said that he should,
That he could and he would,
And he did – and it damn near killed her!
A bit of a nuisance named Liam,
Said: ” The best bits are tits, when you see’em.
But they’re usually trapped,
Cupped, wired and strapped.
So I make it my mission to free’em.