Archive for the ‘kid's limericks’ Tag
It’s been quite a while since I posted a Limerick Alert due in part to my semi-invalid status these last few months. Now that I’ve been cleared by the doctors once again I can freely move around my residence without the need of a wheelchair, walker, or a cane. I feel like a new man even though I will have to learn how to walk properly all over again. These limericks are always humorous as they were written by children for children and they’re all extremely well done. These are rated G and are safe for children.
By Marion Swinger
An unfortunate schoolboy named Pete
Had extremely malodorous feet.
If he waggled one sock,
The olfactory shock
Could empty the average street!
😋😋😋
By Rebecca Telford
There was a brown dog named Spot
Who tied up his tail with a knot,
To remember his bone
Which he’d left back at home
When he sometimes went out for a trot.
😁😁😁
By John Hegley
There once was an organic leek
That had managed to learn how to speak.
At the sight of a knife,
It would fear for its life,
And go: Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeek!!
😊😊😊
By Catherine Osborne
There was an old fellow from Pinner
Whose wife became thinner and thinner.
He told her, “My dear,
You’ll soon disappear,
Stop slimming, start eating your dinner!”
*****
ENJOY !
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As everyone is probably aware, I absolutely love limericks. I will present a few today but for those of you of German heritage and anyone who can speak German, this first one is for you. I have to admit that Germany is not known for its limericks but here is one in German with a translation. I think if the translation is accurate (and I’m not sure it is), it’s one of the worst limericks ever written. If anyone out there can translate it properly, please do, and sent me the corrected version by email to everyuselessthing2@yahoo.com.
Ein dicklicher mann in Peru
Der traumte mal von einer kuh;
Und alse r erwacht
Da ha ter gelacht:
Seine frau stand am bett und macht
😷😷😷
A plumpish chap in Peru
Was dreaming about a cow.
When he awoke,
He couldn’t help laughing,
His wife was standing at the bedside saying “Moo!”
😷😷😷
Now that that silliness is over let’s get on with a couple of limericks written by children. After previous posting of kids’ limericks, I received a number of requests for more. Here are a couple.
By Raymond Coleman (Age 11)
There was a young lad called Davy
Who hated the food in the Navy.
He couldn’t have beef
In case his false teeth
Would drop out and fall in the gravy.
😷😷😷
By Amanda Chew (Age 13)
There was a math teacher named Rundle
Who tied up his books in a bundle.
It’s too heavy he feels,
So put it on wheels,
Now Rundle can trundle his bundle!
😷😷😷
MORE ADULT LIMERICKS ARE ON THE WAY SOON
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A few days ago, I posted a mish-mosh of items which included two limericks from young children. I love the fact that there are kids growing up into a new generation of limerick writers. I would hate to think limericks would fall by the wayside here in the 21st century when they’ve added so much amusement and laughter for hundreds of years. I have a collection of children’s limericks that I’ll share with you periodically because they are cute, adorable and much less bawdy than their adult counterparts. These are for those of you who are too delicate to read the real deal. I hope you enjoy them.
👩🏻👳🏻♂️👲🏻
Consider the poor hippopotamus
His life is unduly monotonous.
He lives half sleep
At the edge of the deep,
And his face is as big as his bottom is.
👩🏻👩🏻🦰👩🏻🦳
A sea serpent saw a big tanker,
Bit hole in its side and then sank her.
He swallowed the crew
In a minute or two,
And then picked his teeth with the anchor.
👱🏻♂️👲🏻👨🏻🦳
There was a young bather from Bewes,
Who reclined on the bank of the Ouse,
His radio blared,
And passers-by stared,
For all he had on was the news!
👼🏻👱🏻♂️👳🏻♂️
“What,” said our teacher, Ms. Pink,
“Is this moth doing here in my ink?”
Said a cheeky young lass,
At the front of the class,
“The Butterfly Stroke, I should think!”
NOT TOO BAD FOR YOUNGSTERS
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