Archive for the ‘cute’ Tag

11/21/2022 ๐Ÿ’ฅ๐Ÿ’ฅLimericks for Kids๐Ÿ’ฅ๐Ÿ’ฅ   Leave a comment

It’s time for some cute yet funny limericks written primarily for kids. The author will be noted when possible but most of these limericks are approximately fifty years old. They are cute and funny without a lot of sexual inuendo and profanity. These are just plain fun.

A little boy down in Natchez

Sat upon powder and matchez.

For the seat of war

He hankers no more,

Though re-enforced well with patchez.

๐Ÿ˜ฎ๐Ÿ˜ฎ๐Ÿ˜ฎ

By Hugh Lofting

Here’s a little Jim Nast of Pawtucket

Wo slid down the stairs in a bucket.

He has more understanding

Since reaching the landing,

Just look at the hole where he struck it.

๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜

By Oliver Hereford

A puppy whose hair was so flowing

There really was no means of knowing

Which end was his head,

Once stopped me and said,

“Please, sir, am I coming or going.

๐Ÿ™ƒ๐Ÿ™ƒ๐Ÿ™ƒ

A certain young fellow named Beebee

Wished to wed with a lady named Phoebe.

“But,” said he, “I must see

What the clerical fee

Be before Phoebe be Phoebe Beebee.”

๐Ÿ™„๐Ÿ™„๐Ÿ™„

HAPPY MONDAY

09/29/2022 ๐ŸŽ‡Kid’s Limericks๐ŸŽ‡   Leave a comment

Here are a few cute limericks, some are written by kids and others written for kids. I hope you enjoy them.

By Colin McNaughton

Should a beast ever hunt you and find you,

He’d certainly crush you and grind you.

But here’s nothing to fear,

There are none around here,

GOOD HEAVENS! THERE’S ONE

RIGHT BEHIND YOU!!

๐Ÿ˜Š๐Ÿ˜Š๐Ÿ˜Š

By Reg Lynes

I’ve eaten as much as I can,

I cannot digest one more gram.

I’m leaving the chips,

And the salady bits,

And the peas, and the eggs, and the ham.

๐Ÿฅฐ๐Ÿฅฐ๐Ÿฅฐ

By Margaret Brace

Archeologists dig at their leisure,

And it gives them a great deal of pleasure,

Not to mention bad backs,

As they fill up their sacks

With all sorts of muddy old treasure.

๐Ÿ˜œ๐Ÿ˜œ๐Ÿ˜œ

By Amanda Chew

There was a young cannibal, Ned,

Who used to eat onions in bed.

His mother said “Sonny,

It’s not very funny –

Why don’t you just eat people instead?”

๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜

ANOTHER DAY IN PARADISE

09/26/2022 ๐Ÿ’ฅSilly Limerick Alert๐Ÿ’ฅ   Leave a comment

Once again, it’s time for a few lighthearted limericks rather than the bawdier ones we’re used to. I’ll reference the author when possible.

By Frank Jacobs

A lion whose manners weren’t nice

Played Monopoly with two white mice.

After losing, he roared,

Then devoured the board,

Marvin Gardens, both mice and the dice.

๐Ÿ˜‹๐Ÿ˜‹๐Ÿ˜‹

By Oliver Herford

Once a grasshopper (food being scant)

Begged an ant some assistance to grant.

But the ant shook his head

“I can’t help you,” he said,

“It’s an uncle you need, not an ant.

๐Ÿ˜Ž๐Ÿ˜Ž๐Ÿ˜Ž

By Anon

A barber who lived in Batavia

Was known for his fearless behavia.

When a giant brown bear

Took a seat in his chair,

Said the barber, “No way will I shavia.”

๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜

By Gelett Burgess

I’d rather have fingers than toes.

I’d rather have ears than a nose.

And as for my hair,

I’m glad it’s still there,

I’ll be awfully sad when it goes.

๐Ÿฉ๐Ÿฉ๐Ÿฉ

HAPPY MONDAY

09/19/2022 ๐Ÿ’ฅSilly Limerick Alert๐Ÿ’ฅ   Leave a comment

It’s time once again for a few silly limericks circa 1960. These are fun limericks, and the creators will be listed if possible.

A cheerful old bear at the zoo

Could always find something to do.

When it bored him to go

On a walk to and fro,

He reversed it and walked fro and to.

๐Ÿ˜œ๐Ÿ˜œ๐Ÿ˜œ

By Ogden Nash

A Bugler named Dougal MacDougal

Found ingenious ways to be frugal.

He learned how to sneeze

In various keys,

Thus, saving the price of a bugle.

๐Ÿ˜Š๐Ÿ˜Š๐Ÿ˜Š

By Al Graham

A Martian named Harrison Harris

Decided he’d like to see Paris.

In space (so we learn)

He forgot where to turn

And that’s why he’s now on Polaris.

๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜

By Berton Braley

Young Frankenstein’s robot invention

Caused trouble too awful to mention.

Its actions were ghoulish,

Which proves it is foolish

To monkey with Natures intention.

๐Ÿฅฐ๐Ÿฅฐ๐Ÿฅฐ

IT’S GOOD TO START A WEEK WITH SILLINESS

06/20/2022 “Retro Limericks”   Leave a comment

A few months ago, while I was surfing on eBay, I purchased a number of books on a whim. In one of those books, I discovered it was a library book from the North Side School Library in Rogers, Arkansas dated 1965. The book contains limericks written by quite a variety of people, some well-known some not so much. They’re funny and cute and dated. I hope they bring a smile to your face as you read them. Here we go . . .

Edward Lear

There was an old man in a tree,

Who was horribly bored by a bee.

When they said, “Does it buzz?”

He replied, “Yes, it does!

It’s a regular brute of a bee.”

๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜

Ogden Nash

There was an old man of Calcutta,

Who coated his tonsils with butta,

Thus, converting his snore

From a thunderous roar

To a soft, only oleaginous mutta.

๐Ÿ˜›๐Ÿ˜›๐Ÿ˜›

Lewis Carroll

His sister named Lucy O’Finner,

Grew constantly thinner and thinner,

The reason was plain,

She slept out in the rain,

And was never allowed any dinner.

๐Ÿ˜‰๐Ÿ˜‰๐Ÿ˜‰

Rudyard Kipling

There once was a small boy in Quรฉbec

Stood buried in snow to his neck.

When asked: “Are you friz?”

He said: “Yes I is,

But we don’t call this cold in Quรฉbec.”

๐Ÿ˜‹๐Ÿ˜‹๐Ÿ˜‹

Carolyn Wells

A canner, exceedingly canny,

One morning he remarked to his granny,

“A canner can can

Anything that he can,

But a canner can’t can a can, can he?”

As you can see, some of these people were famous but that was 57 years ago. The limericks were mostly written in the late 1950’s and early 1960’s.

HAVE A GREAT DAY

06/14/2022 ๐ŸฅดSilly Limerick Alert๐Ÿฅด   Leave a comment

In the past few weeks, I’ve posted limericks written by children, limericks written for children, and a selection of bawdy and crude limericks for the adults. Today I’m posting limericks that are just silly, cute and funny. Readable by all, kids and grownups alike. Enjoy!

There was a young lady of Kent

Whose nose was most awfully bent.

One day, I suppose,

She followed her nose,

For no one knew which way she went.

๐Ÿคช๐Ÿคช๐Ÿคช

A tutor who tooted the flute

Tried to tutor two tooters to toot.

Said the two to the tutor,

“Is it harder to toot or

To tutor two tooters to toot?”

๐Ÿ˜Ž๐Ÿ˜Ž๐Ÿ˜Ž

A cannibal living in France

Ate an uncle and two of his aunts,

A cow and her calf,

An ox and a half,

And now he can’t button his pants.

๐Ÿ˜œ๐Ÿ˜œ๐Ÿ˜œ

A careless zookeeper named Blake

Fell into a tropical lake.

Said a fat alligator

A few minutes later,

“Not bad, but I still prefer steak.”

HAVE A SILLY WEEK

06/13/2022 “Cats”   Leave a comment

Since I had a lot to say about dogs yesterday, it seems only right that I report a few things, both good and bad about cats. Here are a few . . .

  • 7000 years ago, some of the first settlers in ancient Egypt were farmers, growing grain along the banks of the Nile. Their fields were overrun with about a zillion mice and ravenous rats. The farmers helped the cats develop a taste for those little rodents and one good cat could clear a field of vermin in an evening. They became such a part of the Egyptian lifestyle that in later years they were actually worshiped.
  • Bastet was an Egyptian goddess with the body of a woman and the head of a cat. She became one of the most revered of the Egyptian gods, in charge of fertility, beauty, and motherhood.
  • Julius Caesar, King Henry II, King Charles XI, and Napoleon all had terrible aelurophobia, a fear of cats.
  • The prophet Mohammed was a big cat lover. His favorite cat, Muezza, once saved his life by warning him about a dangerous snake.
  • Florence Nightingale, the world’s most famous nurse, was cat crazy. She owned more than 60 cats over the course of her lifetime.
  • One more Egyptian note. In the 1800’s archaeologists digging in the shadows of the Egyptian pyramids unearthed a huge cemetery filled with more than 300,000 cat mummies.

I hope all of you rabid dog fans out there can now relax a little. We cat persons understand, appreciate, and sympathize about your passion for dogs. Some of your emails were a little disturbing but I really do understand your pain. LOL

CATS STILL RULE!

04/24/2022 More Kids’ Limericks   Leave a comment

Most of you readers enjoy the limericks I post but even more seem to enjoy the limericks created by kids. Here are a few more selections for your amusement.

Violet McDonald – Age 11

Thr wnce ws a grl fr, SX

Who cdnt stp usin hr txt:

She ws gtin a bor,

I cud nt take no mor,

So I fd hr phn 2my dg Rx

๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜

Celia McMaster – Age 12

A hungry old goat name Heather

Was tied up with an old piece of leather.

In a minute or two

She had chewed it right through,

And that was end of her tether!

๐Ÿคช๐Ÿคช๐Ÿคช

David McDermott – Age 13

There is a young boxer named Walter,

Who comes from the island of Malta.

One day in the ring

He stepped on a spring,

And bounced all the way to Gibraltar.

๐Ÿ˜›๐Ÿ˜›๐Ÿ˜›

Brian Bell – Age 5

My brother’s name is Keith.

He hates to clean his teeth.

His dirty face

Is a real disgrace,

But he’s lovely underneath!

๐Ÿ’ฉ

04/03/2022 More Kids Limericks   Leave a comment

Today’s been a slow day here in Maine and after two days of sunshine we’re back to our normal gray, cold, and miserable days. When trying to decide what to post today, I went back into my e-mails and discovered quite a few requests for more children’s limericks. I enjoy them myself but in truth, I love the bawdy ones just as much. Here are a few from the kids. I hope you enjoy them.

And undisciplined child named McLundy

Always got to school late, until one day

He was early for once,

But the ignorant dunce

Had forgotten that it was a Sunday!

๐Ÿ˜ƒ๐Ÿ˜ƒ๐Ÿ˜ƒ

A greedy young schoolboy called Mark

Stuffed bananas all week, for a lark.

And when he was done,

Gobbled nuts by the ton,

Now he swings through the trees in the park.

๐Ÿ˜„๐Ÿ˜„๐Ÿ˜„

A robber named Brian McGrew

Decided to burgle a zoo.

But he foolishly stole a

Huge boa constrictor

Which ate him without more ado!

๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜

A naughty young schoolboy from Datchet

Sneak off with his grandfather’s hatchet.

Then was heard to cry: “Oh!

I’ve chopped off my toe!

Won’t somebody please re-attach it?”

03/21/2022 Kids & Limericks   Leave a comment

A few days ago, I posted a mish-mosh of items which included two limericks from young children. I love the fact that there are kids growing up into a new generation of limerick writers. I would hate to think limericks would fall by the wayside here in the 21st century when they’ve added so much amusement and laughter for hundreds of years. I have a collection of children’s limericks that I’ll share with you periodically because they are cute, adorable and much less bawdy than their adult counterparts. These are for those of you who are too delicate to read the real deal. I hope you enjoy them.

๐Ÿ‘ฉ๐Ÿป๐Ÿ‘ณ๐Ÿปโ€โ™‚๏ธ๐Ÿ‘ฒ๐Ÿป

Consider the poor hippopotamus

His life is unduly monotonous.

He lives half sleep

At the edge of the deep,

And his face is as big as his bottom is.

๐Ÿ‘ฉ๐Ÿป๐Ÿ‘ฉ๐Ÿปโ€๐Ÿฆฐ๐Ÿ‘ฉ๐Ÿปโ€๐Ÿฆณ

A sea serpent saw a big tanker,

Bit hole in its side and then sank her.

He swallowed the crew

In a minute or two,

And then picked his teeth with the anchor.

๐Ÿ‘ฑ๐Ÿปโ€โ™‚๏ธ๐Ÿ‘ฒ๐Ÿป๐Ÿ‘จ๐Ÿปโ€๐Ÿฆณ

There was a young bather from Bewes,

Who reclined on the bank of the Ouse,

His radio blared,

And passers-by stared,

For all he had on was the news!

๐Ÿ‘ผ๐Ÿป๐Ÿ‘ฑ๐Ÿปโ€โ™‚๏ธ๐Ÿ‘ณ๐Ÿปโ€โ™‚๏ธ

“What,” said our teacher, Ms. Pink,

“Is this moth doing here in my ink?”

Said a cheeky young lass,

At the front of the class,

“The Butterfly Stroke, I should think!”

NOT TOO BAD FOR YOUNGSTERS

%d bloggers like this: