Archive for the ‘limericks for kids’ Tag
As most of you are well aware, I love limericks. And I don’t discriminate, I like them dirty, sexy, sassy, and any other way you can think of. With that in mind I recently discovered a book, a very small little book of limericks that were written more than 25 years ago. They’re not dirty, sexy, or sassy, but they are cute. These are silly limericks that will make you grin just a little and were almost certainly written for children. So if your let loose your inner child for just a bit you should enjoy these immensely.
💥
A ghost in the town of Khartoum
Asked a skeleton up to his room.
They spent the whole night
In the eeriest fight
As to who should be frightened of whom.
💥💥
A glutton who lived on the Rhine
When asked what time he would dine,
Replied, “At eleven,
Four, six, three and seven,
And eight and a quarter to nine.”
💥💥💥
A cheerful old bear at the zoo
Could always find something to do.
When it bored him to go
On a walk to and fro,
He reversed it, and walks fro and to.
💥💥💥💥
There was an old fellow named Green
Who grew so abnormally lean,
And flat, and compressed,
His back touched his chest,
And sideways he couldn’t be seen.
💥💥💥💥💥
There was the man from the city
Who met what he thought was a kitty.
He gave it a pat
And said, “Nice little cat.”
Just look at him now – what a pity!
****
ONE OF MY FAVORITE SILLY LIMERICKS
There once was an old man from Nantucket
Who kept all his cash in a bucket.
But his daughter named Nan,
Ran away with a man,
And as for the bucket, Nantucket!
😍😍😍
It’s time for me to try and convince you non-limerick lovers that they can be something other than lewd and bawdy. They’re fun to create and even more fun to read when written by members of the younger generations. Here are a few written by and for children. Enjoy!
There once was a young chap from Eugene.
Who grew so abnormally lean,
And flat and compressed
That his back met his chest,
And, viewed sideways, he couldn’t be seen!
😗😗😗
A sea serpent saw a big tanker.
Bit a hole in its side and then sank her.
He swallowed the crew
In a minute or two,
And then picked his teeth with the anchor.
😊😊😊
There was a young bather from Bewes,
Who reclined on the banks of the Ouse.
His radio blared,
And passers-by stared,
For all he had on was the news!
🙃🙃🙃
There are men in the village of Erith
Whom nobody seeth or heareth.
They spend hours afloat
In a flat-bottomed boat,
Which nobody roweth or steereth.
🤩🤩🤩
And here’s one final extra limerick for a nurse I once knew.
Believe me, this limerick is understating her illness. LOL
❤️
Jo Beth went to the doctor last night,
Rather hoping he’d help with her plight.
What she said, whilst bent double.
“It’s farting that’s the trouble.”
And what did he give her? A kite!
*****
DON’T WORRY, THE WEEKEND IS IN SIGHT
It’s time for some cute yet funny limericks written primarily for kids. The author will be noted when possible but most of these limericks are approximately fifty years old. They are cute and funny without a lot of sexual inuendo and profanity. These are just plain fun.
A little boy down in Natchez
Sat upon powder and matchez.
For the seat of war
He hankers no more,
Though re-enforced well with patchez.
😮😮😮
By Hugh Lofting
Here’s a little Jim Nast of Pawtucket
Wo slid down the stairs in a bucket.
He has more understanding
Since reaching the landing,
Just look at the hole where he struck it.
😏😏😏
By Oliver Hereford
A puppy whose hair was so flowing
There really was no means of knowing
Which end was his head,
Once stopped me and said,
“Please, sir, am I coming or going.
🙃🙃🙃
A certain young fellow named Beebee
Wished to wed with a lady named Phoebe.
“But,” said he, “I must see
What the clerical fee
Be before Phoebe be Phoebe Beebee.”
🙄🙄🙄
HAPPY MONDAY
I thought I would try something different today. We all love limericks mostly because they can be naughty, dirty, and lewd and yet still funny. I’ve made a point of posting a number of limericks in recent weeks written by children that were Rated G and they were well received. I’m going to take it another step further today by introducing you to a number of limericks written by adults for children (circa 1965). They are clean and clever and funny. Most kids love or hate school, so let’s make these limericks about school and college. I hope you enjoy them.
Said a boy to his teacher one day
“Wright has not written rite right, I say.”
And the teacher replied,
As the blunder she eyed,
“Right! – Wright, write rite, right away!”
🥴🥴🥴
A teacher who spelling’s unique
Thus, wrote down the “Days of the Wique”:
First, he spelt “Sonday,”
The second day, “Munday”
And now a new teacher they sique.
😷😷😷
There’s a very mean man of Belsize,
Who thinks he is clever and wise.
And what do you think,
He saves gallons of ink
By simply not dotting his “i’s”.
😁😁😁
A collegiate damsel named Breeze,
Weighed down by B.A,’s and P.H.D.’s,
Collapsed from the strain.
Alas, it was plain
She was killing herself by degrees.
😇😇😇😇
LIMERICKS RULE
everyuselessthing.com 