Archive for the ‘triia’ Tag
It’s time for me to try and convince you non-limerick lovers that they can be something other than lewd and bawdy. They’re fun to create and even more fun to read when written by members of the younger generations. Here are a few written by and for children. Enjoy!
There once was a young chap from Eugene.
Who grew so abnormally lean,
And flat and compressed
That his back met his chest,
And, viewed sideways, he couldn’t be seen!
😗😗😗
A sea serpent saw a big tanker.
Bit a hole in its side and then sank her.
He swallowed the crew
In a minute or two,
And then picked his teeth with the anchor.
😊😊😊
There was a young bather from Bewes,
Who reclined on the banks of the Ouse.
His radio blared,
And passers-by stared,
For all he had on was the news!
🙃🙃🙃
There are men in the village of Erith
Whom nobody seeth or heareth.
They spend hours afloat
In a flat-bottomed boat,
Which nobody roweth or steereth.
🤩🤩🤩
And here’s one final extra limerick for a nurse I once knew.
Believe me, this limerick is understating her illness. LOL
❤️
Jo Beth went to the doctor last night,
Rather hoping he’d help with her plight.
What she said, whilst bent double.
“It’s farting that’s the trouble.”
And what did he give her? A kite!
*****
DON’T WORRY, THE WEEKEND IS IN SIGHT
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Here’s your first dose of totally useless information (Trivia) for 2016. I can only assume many of you readers will be spending some time this year in your tavern of choice and many of you will attempt to participate in some sort of Trivia challenge or bar bet. Since it’s obvious to me from some of the emails and comments I receive that many of you drink regularly you will probably need these factoids to help you out a little. This information is my New Year’s gift to you so let’s get started with a few items about the Internet.
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The time spent deleting spam emails costs U.S. Businesses approximately $10 billion annually.
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The highest publicly reported amount paid for a domain name is $7.5 million in stock options, to buy business.com.
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Thirty-five billion emails are sent each day throughout the world.
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Thirty-two percent of all singles think they will meet their mate online.
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The first domain name ever registered was Symbolics.com.
Now for a few more interesting facts concerning our new beat friends . . . our cell phones.
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More than fifty percent of the people on the earth have never made or received a telephone call.
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Approximately 1,314 phone calls are misplaced by telecom services every minute.
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There are 150,000,000 cell phones in use in the United States, more than one for every two human beings in the country.
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As much as eighty percent of microwaves from cell phones are said to be absorbed by your head.
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A Belgian couple were married by short message service (SMS) because text messaging played such a big part in their relationship.

Now for what you’ve all been waiting for. A few tidbits of information on our ever so interesting and at times nasty bodily functions.
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The average heart beats 2.5 billion times in a lifetime. The heart beats about 100,000 times each day.
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The body gives off enough heat in thirty minutes to bring a gallon of water to a boil.
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A woman’s heart beats faster than a man’s.
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A pair of human feet contains 250,000 sweat glands. There are about one trillion bacteria on each foot.
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During a kiss, as many as 278 bacteria colonies are exchanged.
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The body loses half a liter of water a day through breathing.
This was just the first of many trivia postings you can expect this year. I think it’s time for this blog to start living up to it’s name. You can’t have too much useless information in your life and I’m here to guarantee that you get yours.
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Twenty shopping days until Christmas and still no snow. This weather is starting to freak me out a little. I was out on the deck this week putting away the furniture and had to return to the house to remove some clothing. It was too hot. Can you believe that? Anyway here are some photo’s and Christmas factoids for your entertainment.
*** Germany made the first artificial Christmas trees. They were made of goose feathers and dyed green. ***
Yesterday my better-half took me along as an escort while she Christmas shopped. This was how yesterday appeared to me:

*** If you received all of the gifts in the song "The Twelve Days of Christmas," you would receive 364 gifts.***

Rain doesn’t help my already waning amounts of Christmas spirit. What a mess. I find myself wishing for a good snow storm that would drop four or five inches of the white stuff on us.
*** In Mexico, wearing red underwear on New Year’s Eve is said to bring new love in the upcoming year. ***
Last evening we began decorating the interior of the house. A little wine, a little beer, and lots of patience. We made a great deal of progress but it wasn’t easy. Here are a few shots of the debris ridden living room in these “before” photo’s.

*** The poinsettia plant was brought into the United States from Mexico by Joel Poinsett in the early 1800’s. ***

*** Rudolph" was actually created by Montgomery Ward in the late 1930’s for a holiday promotion. The rest is history. ***
We put the finishing touches to the tree and of course the damn cat insisted on hiding underneath and did his best to knock it over. That’s one Christmas tradition we’ve tried for years to change but he just won’t listen.

*** Clearing up a common misconception, in Greek, X means Christ. That is where the word "X-Mas" comes from. Not because someone took the "Christ" out of Christmas. ***
Our holiday preparations will continue for another week or so or until we run out of holiday stuff to hang on other holiday stuff (truthfully that will never happen).
*** Eggnog first became popular in England where it was considered a drink for the upper class. ***
20 SHOPPING DAYS LEFT
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