Does anyone reading this blog think I’m an MTV lover?  Up until recently you would have been right if you said no. That was before I discovered a show which made me laugh so hard I almost peed myself.  It’s called "The Girl Code" and I’ve kinda-sorta made it a part of my permanent watch list. The show introduces a group of really attractive young women who appear to be into clubbing, carousing, and enjoying the life of a typical woman in her twenties. They are offering their insights and rules into dating behavior that is so damn funny (and probably true) I just couldn’t stop watching and laughing.

I was quietly surfing through the TV channels one morning just minding my own business when I happened upon a really beautiful young woman.  She was in the process of reciting one of the Girl Code Rules that I was totally unfamiliar with.  It was and I quote, "Plop, flush, and get out."  It concerned Ladies Room etiquette that we men haven’t been made privy to until now. Their list of rules appears endless and merciless to themselves, their friends, and their potential boyfriend candidates.  Here’s a little more random information I’m supposed to believe are rules being followed by the young dating females in this country.  I must admit I’m a bit skeptical and intimidated.

• The number one rule  is the MOST IMPORTANT ONE OF ALL.  No girl may date her friend’s; exes, past crushes, guys who have humiliated/used her and guys she currently fancies.  Acceptation’s to the rule: a) Your friend has given you permission/ couldn’t care less.
• If you change boyfriends so fast they rarely achieve name status, a man must be around for at least six weeks before you make your friends bother to learn his first name. Until such time, he should be referred to as "The boy" or "That guy".
• All girls must have a "Mr.Right Now". This is the guy friend who is always ready and available to hang out with you, and may or may not like you as more than a friend. He is always ready to party till dawn, and do things you wish you didn’t remember in the morning. He’s not “Mr. Right,” but he may be good enough to be “Mr. Right Now.”
• If you just met a guy and know absolutely nothing about him, but need to refer to him during ‘girl talk’ you use one example of who he is, something he has, or what he does, and he becomes… that guy. (Ex. "The Camaro guy", "The Trainer dude", "The Four a.m. in the Taxi Guy")
• Every girl must wait at least a day and a half before calling a guy whose number she has retrieved.
• You are never in any case to date a friends ex or a guy who she was really into. Exception: If he’s one of those guys who every girl likes.
• A girl has a right to lie in order to keep a secret told to her by her best friend.
• It is fine to act like a BFF with someone and still think they’re weird, annoying, sluts, etc. behind their back but only if you talk about it with your REAL best friend.
• Trying to hard to be friends with someone or some people makes you look annoying and stupid. Everyone will talk about you. And nobody will actually like you. DONT TRY TOO HARD.

I’m certainly glad my days of dating are over.  If you’re a guy these days it’s kinda like walking through a minefield in your bare feet.  If I stumble upon anymore of these  unknown female rules and requirements I’ll be sure to pass them along immediately. The more information we males can collect and share can only help us in our eternal quest for recreational sex.  My best advice is to tune in to MTV and catch a few episodes of Girl Rules.  You may learn a thing or two but even if you don’t the girls are attractive and their rules are hysterical.