Archive for the ‘random’ Tag
Over the years many readers who I assumed were somewhat religious, have asked me what my religious beliefs are. Many think I’m anti-religion but in truth I’m not. I’m anti-organized religions. Religions have their usefulness and have accomplished many wonderful things but at the same time organized religions have also been responsible for the deaths of hundreds of thousands of people and that’s where I have a serious problem. Organized religions are much like the old labor unions. They served their purpose for decades but then became corrupted (in my opinion) by politics and MONEY. They’ve morphed into political money making machines by actually demanding a percentage of our hard earned money for doing little or nothing for us. Everyone agrees there’s only one God but unless your worshipping that god in their specific way your considered by some to be anti-religion or an infidel.
We are approaching what was once a highly religious holiday season that has been rearranged to include “Black November sales, Black Friday sales, a steady stream of Amazon ads, plus hours and hours of mind-numbing commercials. The only people worshipping anything these days are the millions of scammers, porch pirates, and the occasional actual religious person.
Let’s review for a moment the history of humanity as applied to their weird and confusing religious beliefs. In my opinion our new god is the almighty dollar. Which one of these religions would be a good fit for you and your family?
- In Thailand there is a religious group who worship the almighty penis. Their shrine is crammed full of phalluses of all types and sizes. They are gaily painted and hung with garlands of flowers. Many women claim miracle pregnancies after making a pilgrimage to the shrine.
- Apparently in India they believe you should go big or go home. In the state of Karnataka there is a 100 foot high penis and a incredible collection of over eight million penises.
- The Japanese have a shrine at Kanamara Matsuri, where the yearly penis festival is held on the first Sunday of April. People parade through the streets with pink penises in hand and they even supply penis shaped lollipops for their children.
- In India has a “Cargo Cult”. The locals worship Prince Philip as a divine being. It started in the 1950’s and continues to this day. I guess we should add him to the endless list of saviors along with Jesus Christ and Mohammad.
- Doll worshipers exist in Mexico where there is a shrine containing a fifty year collection of dolls.
- There is a Daoist Shrine to “Lady Datuk” in Singapore who was a young girl found dead in the hills during WWI.
- In 2005 a man named Bobby Henderson started an alternative school in the United States called the church of the “Flying Spaghetti Monsterism”. The religion went viral.
- There is cat worhipping in a number of countries.
The list of possible religions just keeps getting bigger and bigger. Don’t forget L. Ron Hubbard who started the infamous Scientology religion. My final conclusion is that the Humans Race is insane. We are stupid, vain, and insecure but still consider ourselves to be highly religious. Make your choice of a belief system very carefully. When you get to the Pearly Gates to be judged you might be surprised to discover that St. Peter is just a giant pink penis with a pet cat.
☯️🕎✡️✝️☪️
AMEN (and Merry X-mas) TO ALL OF YOU INSANE AND INSECURE HUMANS
- Henry David Thoreau once burned down 300 acres of forest trying to cook a fish.
- Abraham Lincoln once stated, “No matter how much the fight, there always seems to be plenty of kittens.”
- A Loony Law from the 1950’s – It was illegal for a flying saucer to land in a French vineyard.
- Cicero once stated, “Any man can make mistakes, but only an idiot persists in his error.”
- To quote William Randolph Hearst: “News is what people don’t want you to print. Everything else is ads.”
- Ghandi speaking about Adolf Hitler – “I do not consider him to be as bad as depicted. He’s showing an ability that is amazing, and he seems to be gaining his victories without much bloodshed.”
- Sigmund Freud once stated, “What progress we are making. In the Middle Ages they would’ve burned me. Now they are content with burning my books.”
- During an interview in the 1950’s, Pope John XXIII was asked how many people work in the Vatican. He immediately stated: “About half.”
- “I would’ve made a good Pope.” – Once stated by Richard Nixon
- Random fact: License plates came before cars – as they were used on horse-drawn carriages in 1884.
This quote is one of my favorites as it applies to me:
“Whosoever is delighted in solitude is either a wild beast or a God.” Aristotle
*****
I NEVER MET A HERMIT I DIDN’T LIKE
When I started this blog many years ago it took me a while to come up with a proper name. Once the decision was made to call it “every useless thing” I was hooked into providing as many weird and unusual facts as I could find. I’ve created a rather large library of totally useless information and it’s my pride and joy. If I’ve calculated properly, I have enough facts and trivia to continue this blog for 10 more years and never repeat the same item twice. I get to find them and post them, and unfortunately you get to read them. Here we go . . .
- Reese Witherspoon has two pet donkeys.
- Keanu Reeves was born in Lebanon.
- The iconic mask used in the 1978 horror film Halloween was a plastic Captain Kirk mask from Star Trek, spray-painted white and with its eyeholes enlarged.
- The S. S. Minnow of Gilligan’s Island fame was named after former chairman of the FCC, Newton Minnow, who considered television to be a “vast wasteland.
- The maiden name of Betty rubble from the Flintstones show was Betty Jean McBricker.
- To complete the pair, the maiden name of Wilma Flintstone was Wilma Slaghoopel.
- In the United States, the last year that somebody officially died of “old age” was 1951 That’s the last year “old age” was listed on death certificates. It’s now referred to as death by “natural causes.”
- Robert Williams is the first known person to be killed by a robot. He worked at a Ford automobile factory and was struck in the head by a robot in 1979.
- Amalie Auguste Melitta Benz was the un-famous inventor of the coffee filter.
- The first mechanically sliced loaf of bread was sold under the famous Wonder Bread brand in 1930.
AND THE BEAT GOES ON
An airplane flying from Houston to Chicago had a very close call. For a while it seemed they were doomed to crash to fiery destruction, but at the last minute the pilot got it under control and landed safely. Out of the plane came 200 midgets. An onlooker said, “I never saw so many midgets in my life.” Said another, “Those aren’t midgets. Those are Texans with the shit scared out of them.
In Hollywood, it is not enough for you to succeed; your friends must fail.
As per Yogi, “You can observe a great deal just by watching.”
Who doesn’t like stereotypes? A Texan had just had a baby son, and he was passing out enormous cigars. “Likeliest little varmint you ever saw,” he said proudly. “He weighs twenty-seven pounds.” Two weeks later, the friend met him and said, “How’s the kid?” “Fine,” said the Texan. “The little tyke weighs sixteen pounds.” The friend looked puzzled. “Why, when he was born you said he weighed twenty-seven pounds.” “I know.” said the Texan, “but we had him circumcised.”
There once was a young plumber from Leigh
Who was plumbing a girl by the sea.
Said the maid, “Cease your plumbing,
I think someone’s coming.”
Said the plumber, still plumbing, “It’s me!”
At the zoo, a curious woman said to one of those who tended the animals, “How do you tell a male hippopotamus from a female hippopotamus?” The keeper said, “We don’t really have to, ma’am. The hippopotamuses figure it out for themselves.”
There is a story that Mussolini was once stranded in a small town in Italy when his car broke down, To pass the time, he visited a local movie house. Came the newsreel, and, of course, his own face flashed on the screen.
Everyone in the movie house stood up, but Mussolini, feeling tired and feeling no compulsion to stand up in his own honor, remained seated. Whereupon the man next to him whispered, “I feel exactly as you do, but take my advice and stand up. It’s safer.”
THANKS ISAAC
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