Are you ready for a new batch of disturbing, disgusting, and naughty limericks? One of my biggest problems in posting limericks is that I have thousands of them available but in most cases they are extremely difficult to categorize. I made the ultimate sacrifice recently and forced myself to read hundreds of limericks and to try and establish some sort of categories. Todays post will include limericks concerning Sex Substitutes. These will be copied directly from my collections with rather blunt, off-color, and the occasional appropriate profanity. These will be rated “R”, so keep the youngsters away. Lets get rolling . . .
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There was a young girl of Batonger,
Who used to diddle herself with a conger.
When asked how it feels
to be pleasured by eels,
She said, “Just like a man but longer”.
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An agreeable girl named Miss Doves
Likes to jackoff the men that she loves,
She will use her bare fist
If the fellows insist
But she really prefers to wear gloves.
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There was a young parson named Goring
Who made a small hole in the flooring.
He lined it all round,
Then laid on the ground,
And declared it was cheaper than whoring.
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A nudist resort at Benares
Took a midget in all unawares.
But he made members weep
For he just couldn’t keep
His nose out of their private affairs.
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