It seems that the whole world is fascinated by the American west and cowboy lifestyles in general. But I’ve noticed over the years, being a limerick collector, there seem to be a huge gap of limericks relating to that time period. I think today is as good as any day to begin remedying that problem. I’d like to give a shout out to the memory of the late Ray Allen Billington, who spent many years writing about the American West. He edited and authored twenty-five books prior to his passing in 1981 and many contained limericks. So, put on your cowboy hat, slip on those fancy leather boots and spurs, sit back and enjoy a few wild west limericks to help kick start your libido.
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Old trappers were oft heard to say
A beaver was not a bad lay.
But buggery ain’t easy
For the timid or queasy,
For the tail always gets in the way.
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A cowboy who from eastern Montana
Found sex in a devious manner.
He bored monstrous holes
in telegraph poles,
And thrust in his giant banana.
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A whore from the plains of Nebraska
Would do anything you would ask her.
You could lay her all day,
At nominal pay,
But, oh, how you paid nine days after.
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The caldrons of Yellowstone Park
Are no place to have sex in the dark.
A young ranger once tried –
Now his balls look deep-fried
And his prick looks like a stick with no bark.
everyuselessthing.com 