After posting my resolutions yesterday I found this list on a website (www.ba-bamail.com) that’s loaded with all sorts of humorous jokes, gags, and limericks. Their list of resolutions was funny, but I thought it needed a little of my tweaking. Here is my modified version of their list, a list I know I can really accomplish. I’ll try to complete yesterday’s list, but it’ll be much more difficult than this one.

• Put on at least 30 pounds, more if someone pisses me off.

• Start buying lottery tickets at a luckier store.

• Go commando at all times.

• Stop exercising forever.

• Let the hair in my nose and ears grow unchecked.

• Shave just twice a week, the face is optional.

• Watch more pornography.

• Never again load the dishwasher.

• Procrastinate more.

• Do less laundry and use more deodorant.

• Drink more – my liver needs the exercise.

• Buy more on-line junk from China. I need to be scammed more often.

• Take up a new habit: maybe try smoking again.

• Swear more.

• More car sex.

HAPPY NEW YEAR

2022 CAN’T BE ANY WORSE THAN THE LAST TWO YEARS