After posting my resolutions yesterday I found this list on a website (www.ba-bamail.com) that’s loaded with all sorts of humorous jokes, gags, and limericks. Their list of resolutions was funny, but I thought it needed a little of my tweaking. Here is my modified version of their list, a list I know I can really accomplish. I’ll try to complete yesterday’s list, but it’ll be much more difficult than this one.
- Put on at least 30 pounds, more if someone pisses me off.
- Start buying lottery tickets at a luckier store.
- Go commando at all times.
- Stop exercising forever.
- Let the hair in my nose and ears grow unchecked.
- Shave just twice a week, the face is optional.
- Watch more pornography.
- Never again load the dishwasher.
- Procrastinate more.
- Do less laundry and use more deodorant.
- Drink more – my liver needs the exercise.
- Buy more on-line junk from China. I need to be scammed more often.
- Take up a new habit: maybe try smoking again.
- Swear more.
- More car sex.
HAPPY NEW YEAR
2022 CAN’T BE ANY WORSE THAN THE LAST TWO YEARS
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