Archive for the ‘NOSE HAIRS’ Tag

12/23/2021 Bizzaro New Year’s Resolutions   Leave a comment

After posting my resolutions yesterday I found this list on a website (www.ba-bamail.com) that’s loaded with all sorts of humorous jokes, gags, and limericks. Their list of resolutions was funny, but I thought it needed a little of my tweaking. Here is my modified version of their list, a list I know I can really accomplish. I’ll try to complete yesterday’s list, but it’ll be much more difficult than this one.

  • Put on at least 30 pounds, more if someone pisses me off.
  • Start buying lottery tickets at a luckier store.
  • Go commando at all times.
  • Stop exercising forever.
  • Let the hair in my nose and ears grow unchecked.
  • Shave just twice a week, the face is optional.
  • Watch more pornography.
  • Never again load the dishwasher.
  • Procrastinate more.
  • Do less laundry and use more deodorant.
  • Drink more – my liver needs the exercise.
  • Buy more on-line junk from China. I need to be scammed more often.
  • Take up a new habit: maybe try smoking again.
  • Swear more.
  • More car sex.

HAPPY NEW YEAR

2022 CAN’T BE ANY WORSE THAN THE LAST TWO YEARS

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