Archive for April 2024
I think today I’ll keep this post rather short. I’m actually celebrating the fact that after two and half days of having no electric, no Internet, no phone service, and just generally cold and crappy weather, the storm has ended, and things are beginning to normalize. This ice storm destroyed most of southern Maine by damaging trees, adjacent homes, and dangerous conditions for any traveling. We have trees down everywhere and there’s still a few hundred thousand people in Maine with no power. I guess I got lucky that my street was repaired only after we sat in the dark and cold for two days. This is the second such storm in as many months totaling eight solid days of no utilities Internet, power, etc. etc. etc. It just brings home the fact that we rely on technology for damn near everything. Unfortunately, it’s also the first thing to fail.
I’ll probably be spending a great deal of time in the next few days trying to clean up the property because in my backyard alone I have three trees down and they have to be removed. I know that sounds bad but compared to most of the neighbors in this area I got off with minor damage. I thought I had all of the contingencies covered with storm preparation by installing a generator to carry the load when the electric goes out. Unfortunately, when the generator was supposed to kick in and turn on the electric it failed to work. Trying to find service people during a storm crisis is ridiculously difficult but I did get lucky. I made one call requiring that I travel 2 miles from my house, stand on my car roof and wave my hands in the air to get a signal in the midst of all this chaos. I guess I have to believe in miracles because within a half an hour of making that call, I returned home to find the electrician, his son, and a truck load of parts in my driveway. They dismantled my generator and immediately corrected the problem. As I write this, I’m still amazed. Things like that almost never happen but I’m certainly glad they did.
After all of that aggravation the power was fully restored this morning and now the cleanup begins. I hope and pray there are no more surprise spring storms showing up. Nothing good comes of these storms except if you own a Home Depot or Lowe’s, then you’re making a damn fortune. More to come in the next day or so and hopefully I can get this blog back to normal by then. Meanwhile . . . .
STAY WARM AND DRY AND PRAY FOR SPRING TO ARRIVE
A young playboy took a blind date to an amusement park. They first went for a ride on the Ferris wheel. When the ride was over, she seemed somewhat bored. “What would you like to do next?” he asked. “I want to be weighed,” she said. So, the young man took her over to the weight guesser. “112 lbs,” said the man at the scale, and he was obviously right. Next, they took a ride on the roller coaster. After that, he bought her some popcorn and cotton candy, then asked what else she would like to do. “I want to be weighed,” she said again. I really latched onto an odd one tonight, thought the young man, and using the excuse that he had developed a headache, he took the girl home. The girl’s mother was surprised to see her home so early, and asked, “What’s wrong, dear, didn’t you have a nice time tonight?” “It was “Wousy,” said the girl.
Q. Why is air a lot like sex?
A. Because it’s no big deal unless you’re not getting any.
When Ralph first noticed his penis was growing longer and staying erect longer, he was delighted, as was his wife. After several weeks his penis had grown to twenty inches. Ralph became quite concerned as he was having problems dressing and even walking. So, he and his wife went to see a prominent urologist. After an initial examination the doctor explained to the couple that, though rare, Ralph’s condition could be fixed with corrective surgery. “How long will Ralph be on crutches?” the wife asked anxiously. “Crutches? Why would he need crutches?” responded the doctor. “Well,” said Ralph’s wife coldly, “you are going to lengthen his legs, aren’t you?”
Q. What’s the difference between a lesbian and a Fritz cracker?
A. One’s a snack cracker, and the others a crack snacker!
I JUST WANT TO BE HAPPY . . .
AND MAYBE A LITTLE NAKED AS WELL
I hope all of you had an enjoyable Easter holiday. With that in mind I thought I’d offer up a little religious history and trivia. While I’m not all that religious I certainly enjoy anything concerning history whether it be mythological or factual. Enjoy.
- The egg has become the symbol for Easter because it began as an ancient symbol of new life and considered a fitting symbol for the Resurrection.
- A Bible published in London in 1632 became known as the Wicked Bible. It was called that because the word “not” was missing from the seventh commandment, making it “Thou shalt commit adultery.”
- Few people know that one of the most famous structures in Greek mythology was built by a man named Epeius. It was the Trojan horse.
- A bird was credited with saving Rome from attack by the Gauls in 390 B.C. The bird was a goose and according to legend its honking alerted the Romans to a night raid by the Gauls.
- The political-religious movement, Rastafarianism, is named after former Ethiopian emperor Haile Selassie who at his coronation was titled Ras Tafari.
- The Vatican’s Sistine Chapel was named after Pope Sixtus IV who had it built as a private papal chapel.
- When the American Foundation for the Blind recorded the entire 774,000-word King James version of the Bible in 1944, it took 84 1/2 hours.
- The King James version of the Bible was the common source for a number of clichés; “Salt of the earth”, “Feet of clay”, and “Apple of my eye”.
- The seven cardinal virtues are prudence, temperance, fortitude, justice, faith, love, and hope.
- The seven deadly sins are pride, covetousness, lust, gluttony, anger, envy and sloth.
And here is a bit of bonus trivia concerning Pope John Paul II. His talents extended beyond the realm of his calling. He was also a gifted writer and musician. His 1979 record album, “At the Festival of the Sacro Song” sold over 1 million copies.
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IT’S EASIER TO PREACH TEN SERMONS THAN TO LIVE JUST ONE
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