Archive for the ‘Just Saying’ Category
‘Don’t look at this image, it might be against the law here in Maine.’
With the holiday weekend coming to an end summer has officially been declared here in Maine. Even with that being said we still sat on the deck over the weekend in hoodies and sweatpants because it was a wee bit nippy. So it’s onward and upward to the many summer activities soon to come.
‘Hot Bread & Butter Pickles’
We had a stay-at-home Fourth of July this year which we both found rather enjoyable. We relaxed on the deck until dark and then decided to be outlaws and lawbreakers. For decades it was against the law in Maine to own or use fireworks. Two years ago the ban was lifted and fireworks stores sprung up overnight and everyone happily thought their future holidays could be celebrated with a little noise. Oh how wrong we were.
‘Strawberry, Blueberry, Blackberry, Rhubarb, and Triple Berry Jams’
It’s impossible for politicians, local or otherwise, to keep their collective noses out of everyone’s business for more than a heartbeat. The town politicos then began to play their silly little games by passing local ordnance to ban the use of fireworks once again. It’s just like a bunch of political morons on a power trip to pass another law that can’t be enforced.
‘Smoking Hot Black Bean & Roasted Corn Salsa’
As dark ascended on the neighborhood the law breaking began in earnest. It sounded like the first night of D-Day at Omaha Beach in Normandy. Every neighbor was trying to out do the others and being the weak minded idiots that we are, we joined right in. Sparklers, Zippers, Rockets, Roman Candles . . . you name it and we had it. All of that noise and law breaking going on and not one police car was ever seen. They were probably sitting at home in their driveway while their kids set off their own fireworks. It was a lot of fun, no injuries or deaths reported, and the cleanup the next day was only about twenty minutes.
‘Honey & Maple Mead’
The remainder of the weekend we were kept very busy. B & B pickles were made and canned, an assortment of jams were made and canned, and I finished my first batch of salsa for 2015. It yielded thirteen and a half quarts of a salsa that’ll make your head sweat.
We are definitely on a roll for 2015.
Even though it’s been raining off and on for a week we here in Maine must make the best of it. It’s always been my policy that if I don’t have to shovel it, I’ll just sit back, relax, and enjoy it.
My better-half arrived home from work all excited about something. I was then coerced into changing clothes and rushing out the door with a promise of a free meal at a restaurant later in the day. I really didn’t feel much like going out but if I can scrounge a free meal, what the hell. We were on our way to meet with her daughter and grandsons to pick strawberries. Control yourself, it’s not as exciting as it sounds. This is one of those summer time activities that seem to be mandatory here in Maine. We also have apple picking, blueberry picking, and occasionally nose picking.
My better-half the bargain hunter attempted to explain to me just how much money we’d be saving rather than buying the berries from a food store. Instead of paying $3.00 a quart at a store we could spend our time driving to a distant farm (my car of course), picking the berries in our own little containers, and returning home. All of those thrills and we only had to pay $2.60 a quart. On top of that we were being helped (I use this term loosely) by a two year old who ate more than he picked. Yeah we saved money alright. . . . NOT.
The farm was a little crowded and the skies were threatening rain again. No sooner did we arrive when the daughter-in-law scooped up the kids and headed home. I think she may have been way over her fun limit for the day. Since the primary reason for our outing was to see the kids we were left with nothing to do but pick berries. For me that was a Lose-Lose situation.
We managed to pick three quarts of berries, paid the money-saving price and escaped just as the rain began. This jam the better-half will be making tomorrow had better be the best damn jam she’s ever made. On top of everything else I was screwed out of my promised free meal. You just can’t trust anyone these days I guess.
As I began thinking about posting this blog as I awakened this morning it was 4:10 am and I was barely human. You need to understand something, I am not a fisherman. Nonetheless I was up and on my way for a day of deep sea fishing and thank God for Dunkin Donut’s Coffee.
We arrived at Camp Ellis, Maine, stowed our cooler on the boat and were off to begin the day at 6:00 am. Even though I’m not a fisherman I really love being on the water regardless of the reason. Weather-wise it was the perfect morning. It was nice and cool with a light breeze and forecasters were calling for a bright and sunny day. For once they were right on target.
My nephew and better-half were all fired up and ready to go and it didn’t take long for their fishing lines to get into the water. We made a quick stop over a large school of mackerel to fill the live bait tank and then proceeded to our first fishing spot. The two of them caught almost forty mackerel in fifteen minutes.
Our guide brought us to one of his favorite fishing holes and within the first hour my better-half snagged four good sized stripped bass and one dumb ass seagull. The stupid bird insisted on diving into the water and was hooked trying to steal her bait. Fortunately he was captured, manhandled, and immediately released. He should have stayed ashore at the nearby McDonalds and had a breakfast of french fries like all of his buddies. Birds can be so stupid.
I normally don’t post photos of friends and family on the blog but in this case they are demanding it. Here they are with their prizes.
A fun day was had by all but we still were happy to return home for a quick shower, a short nap, and to relax until those big fat steaks that I’ll be cooking later were ready to eat. I think we all need many more days like this one. This day was the perfect example of the proverbial “mental health day”. It was fantastic.
I’m not normally a person captivated by breaking news events nor do I feel the need to be the first person to spread the word about certain occurrences but today is an exception. So here goes. . .
I received a tidbit of news this morning from an anonymous source that my previously mentioned garden marauder, aka "The Skunk", may have been fatally injured during the night. I’m aware that my earlier threats against his life could possibly make me a person of interest in his disappearance and possible death.
I’ll probably spend the day waiting around for the inevitable arrival of the animal homicide investigators. I also heard there’s been a rash of similar deaths in the last few weeks and no real leads or clues have been discovered. It’s only a matter of time until they pick up the rumor of my blog and those rather inappropriate death threats.
At 3 am my source just happened to be nearby when the "The Skunk" was observed slowly slinking through my yard towards my garden. It just so happened that just as he was nearing the garden he was accosted by a couple of strangers. Within seconds loud and shrill screaming was heard by neighbors sounding much like someone being assaulted and badly injured. The screaming continued even louder but seemed to be slowly moving towards a nearby wooded area where it suddenly stopped. All was quiet in the neighborhood for the rest of the night.
After listening to that report and being the experienced criminal investigator I am, the next morning I hurried to the alleged crime scene. While I found no traces of blood or indications of a tussle I continued collecting what few facts that were available.
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Fact #1 – I actually heard the screams outside my bedroom window that night but saw nothing suspicious.
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Fact #2 – I found no evidence at the scene of violence being perpetrated.
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Fact #3 – My garden was untouched for the first time in weeks.
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Fact #4 – I personally saw no suspicious characters in the neighborhood that night nor did I hear anything that would help me identify the unknown subject or subjects (the UNSUBS).
The next day I was approached by two investigators who required me to supply them with an alibi for the time in question. Since they could find no forensic evidence at the scene they began the process of building a circumstantial case with me as their chief suspect. While my better-half was asleep beside me that night she was unable to verify my presence or supply me with an believable alibi.
‘Suspect #1’
Later that same day I heard a rumor that I immediately conveyed to the investigators concerning two suspicious and dangerous looking characters seen in the area. They’d been spotted with the victim near the scene of the alleged crime on the night in question by an anonymous source,who I refused to identify. They were very upset with me but I do have the constitution right to protect my sources.
“Suspect #2’
A little later in the day an APB was sent out to all nearby neighborhoods with a BOLO on these two suspects. They were described briefly as being similar in stature, approximately 24 inches tall, wearing shaggy overcoats, and with a mean and hungry look in their eyes. Other information received indicated they were members of a notorious local gang called "The Coyotes". Many suspicious deaths have occurred in the past in this area that were attributed to this gang but no arrests have never been made.
Hopefully this will get these pesky investigators off my butt. They’re now requesting all of my guns for ballistic testing on the side chance the victim’s body will eventually be located. I immediately checked with my attorney and we refused to give up my weapons. They left in a huff but there is no doubt in my mind that this matter wasn’t going to be dropped anytime soon.
Trust me, they’ll never find the body.
I’m suffering from a total lack of interest today. It rained through the night just a little and I’m not really in the mood to be playing in the garden mud this morning. I rolled out of bed a little later than usual and had an unappetizing breakfast of healthy cereal which tasted a lot like cardboard. I knew it was going to be one of those day when I left a kitchen cabinet door open and then proceeded to walk into it a few minutes later putting a small notch in my head. That’s what I mean when I say "One of those days."
The next thing was the damn alarm system. It’s nice to have technology in my life but when I have to put up with a smart ass alarm system telling me how stupid I am, it’s kind of embarrassing. After screwing around for ten minutes I finally set the alarm, got in the car, and left the garage. Five seconds after the garage door closed I realized I’d forgotten my camera and telephone. Back to the house, turn off the alarm, get my stuff, and then back to try and set the alarm once again. If the burglars have as much trouble getting in as I had getting out we should be completely safe.
I then headed to the first of six nurseries trying to find cayenne pepper seedlings. For some reason unknown to me or the nurserymen, there seems to be a shortage of cayenne peppers this spring. I normally can buy a six pack of the plants for a couple of dollars but not this year. My last stop was at a nursery well known for it’s impossibly high prices for just about everything. They had only three cayenne pepper plants, each planted in separate container, with a cost of $3.99 a plant.
BS I tell you!
As I was leaving empty handed I had an uninterested employee ask me in that awful politically correct tone, “Have you found everything you were looking for sir?”. I nicely told her no. I was looking for a few decent prices but couldn’t find even one.
Double BS!!
I’ve also been looking for a new garden bench for the last few weeks with no success. I stopped at Home Depot today after checking out their website which listed close to twenty different types. I searched for twenty minutes through that huge building and was beginning to get a little frustrated. Depot has never been known for it’s customer service and that hasn’t changed a bit. After tracking down a store employee who did his best to avoid me, I asked about the benches. He explained to me, the pain-in-the-ass customer, that they have no benches in inventory. He gave me one of those smarmy smiles and told me they were an online purchase only.
Triple BS!!!
Screw them, I left in a huff after wasting most of my morning. I revisited my reliable local nursery and purchased a few additional Ghost pepper plants and a six pack of orange bell peppers. Total cost, $5.20. I never did find a effing bench but I’ll sit my butt on the ground before paying $199.99 for one.
This day has sucked soooo bad. I guess it’s time for me and the cat to kick back and relax on the deck. I can sip a drink and relive the last few hours of this stupid day and try to smile. The cat could care less either way. He just lays there like he always does thinking about what cats think about. He’s not smiling either.
With Spring underway in Maine the plants can’t wait to get out of the ground. With such a short growing season no time is wasted by either Mother Nature or the people who live here. As I posted a few weeks ago people were on the beach already wearing bikinis. That’s even early for native Mainer’s but it didn’t stop them.
The tourist season in Maine is huge and it’s important to keep the visitors entertained and happy. That’s why during Spring and Summer months there’s a steady stream of festivals, farmer’s markets, fairs, and individual town celebrations.
Last weekend my better-half returned from her week long trip and we were able to get out and enjoy the sunny weather on Saturday. We were making our way through the city of Sanford to visit a nursery further south in North Berwick. We happened upon our first town gathering of the year. It was some type of farmer’s market where booths were set up by neighboring farms selling their homemade products and plants. We immediately parked and began to mingle.
It’s always fun to visit with the farmers and to purchase a few products while also snapping a few pictures. Everyone was enjoying the beautiful day and the excellent company. It was one of my first visits back to the city where I lived for eight years and I was glad to see things hadn’t changed at all. People were as friendly as I remembered and welcoming of any and all visitors.
‘It was a great start to what will be a great Summer.’
I love the Spring of the year. It rejuvenates me like no other season can. I can’t wait to get out of bed in the morning, go outside in the garden, and just mellow out. I’m sorry if I sound a little like a hippie or a New Ager but it can’t be helped.
With the better-half still out of town I decided to get as much done as possible with the garden before she returns home. I traveled a few miles down the road to my favorite nursery yesterday. It’s rather small and family run but the plants and seedlings I purchase there always seem to do better than the stuff the big box stores are peddling. This small nursery takes a great deal of pride in supplying their customers with the healthiest and happiest plants they possibly can.
I arrived at the nursery the day after Mother’s Day and the place was cleaned out. The staff was busily restocking the greenhouses and repotting seedlings as fast as they could. The owner who’s become a friend of sorts over the years told me that this Mother’s Day weekend was the best weekend they’ve had since opening the nursery almost fifteen years ago. I love hearing things like that. It seems people are once again finding a home garden something they want to do and do properly.
I can thank my parents for my interest in gardening. My late Mother was really into growing a large assortment of flowers and her knowledge of herbs was amazing. She passed that knowledge on to me and I thank her everyday. To me she’s always seems to be hanging around my garden talking with the plants and checking things out as she always did.
My Dad was more into growing vegetables and I picked up a lot of information and tips from him over the years as well. He also educated me on the proper curse words to use when describing deer, groundhogs, and rabbits. His war with them was epic and never-ending and it gave the rest of the family a lot of laughs over the years. Just as a point of fact, he never won that war.
‘Culpeper’s Complete Herbal’
This is my favorite book on herbs. I’ve had my old copy for more than thirty years and for me it’s a real connection to the past. Some of the information is outdated but in it’s day it was the ultimate source for herbal facts and remedies.
I purchased a few dozen marigolds yesterday that I intend to plant around the perimeter of the garden. They seem to magically keep the deer and other pests away and it something we’ve done for years. Many of my neighbors complain constantly every summer about the wildlife that comes to visit and damage their gardens. I’m not sure just why marigolds keep them away but they do. I’ve been told it has something to do with their fragrance but who really knows?
Tomorrow my garden work continues with a general clean up but I won’t be planting anything else for at least the next two weeks. The fear of a hard frost remains a real possibility until sometime after Memorial Day.
I can’t wait to get up and get going.
Yesterday was a day spent enjoying the warm and sunny eighty degree weather. My better-half had the day off and we were able to spend some quality time together just bumming around.
Living in Maine has it’s issues like bad winters and quirky weather patterns but it also has a lot of pluses. We’re able to visit the White mountains within an hour, the ocean and beaches within a half hour, the New Hampshire lakes region in one hour, and Boston in two hours. We also have an abundance of wildlife that we sometimes take for granted.
As we left our home and traveled less than a mile we observed turkeys roaming around in a nearby field. We see turkeys on a regular basis as well as hundreds of seagulls and as many hawks. People in our rural community that have chickens are well aware of the hawks, coyotes, and foxes. If your chickens are free range or left outside of a fenced area then you can be sure to lose a few to these predators. It’s also possible to lose a small cat or kitten right off your deck if your not careful.
These two pictures were taken less than a mile from our house. This fat old fox was just strolling along the road, crossed right in front of our car, and then stopped to watch us from the woods. He hung around long enough for me to get these shots.
With the day being so warm we decided to make our first Spring visit to a local beach. Maine residents are a hearty folk who hit the beaches as early as possible in the Spring. We have a need to shake off those winter blues once and for all. While it was sunny and warm the wind still had a chill to it but it didn’t seem to matter. A lot of sunbathers were on the beach and even one crazy fool of a wind-surfer. That water was damn cold but he was having a great time.
We had an all-around terrific day walking the beach and taking a few pictures. There’s no better way to kick start our Spring and Summer seasons.
Mud and rain! Is mud and rain actually any better than snow and ice? I’m beginning to believe there’s no damn difference. They’re both annoying and require special clothing; parka and gloves v. raincoat and galoshes.
It’s nice to see that the ice and snow are completely gone but the reason is this steady rain we’re dealing with now and for the next two weeks. That’s assuming the weather forecasters are correct and of course they never get it wrong.
I had a lot of plans for garden preparation this week and I refuse to be confounded by this weather. Although my luck hasn’t been all that good so far this Spring. My lawn tractor remains idle because I can’t find someone to repair it without forcing me to take out a mortgage. This little bit of minor repair work will cost me almost half of what I originally paid for the damn thing. It’s getting bad when a lawn tractor becomes a disposable item.
Last week I ordered a pallet of dirt from Lowe’s and of course it was delivered today during the rain storm. Fortunately it was 75 bags of palletized dirt which was at least somewhat waterproof. My garden frames needed some replenishment since I updated portions of them and made them a few inches deeper.
After checking the forecast for the next few weeks I was forced into getting busy immediately to add that new dirt to the garden. I removed the bags from the pallet and threw the required number into those frames that needed filling. It was an absolute mess. It rained off and on the entire time and turned the yard into a bog.
I slogged my way through the wet and mud for a couple of hours and managed to get the dirt where it needed to be. At the end of the day I was exhausted, muddy, chilled, and really wet. After some cleanup and a lot of raking the job was completed and I immediately hit the showers.
Stage-1 of the garden prep was rebuilding the frames and Step-2 was refilling those frames. Next comes Step-3 where I rototill the soil to loosen it up and then place garden fabric over the dirt to eliminate those god awful weeds that make gardening suck. Step-4 is the installation of the sprinkler system which is really a necessity. Step-5 is the purchase, planting, and fertilizing of the plants. After that it’s time to sit back and watch things grow until late summer when Step-6 begins. Step-6 is harvesting the crop, Step-7 is canning, and Step-8 is cleaning out the frames once again and composting the soil in preparation for next year.
Who said gardening wasn’t fun.
Over the years I’ve read on a number of occasions about people with addictive personalities. These are people who are drawn to addictive behavior and activities for some unknown reason and can’t ever stop being addicted to something. I’ve finally decided to admit that I may be one of them.
My first major addiction started when I was just turning twelve years of age. Both of my parents were smokers and so were my grandparents. This was before anyone was aware of the dangers of smoking and we all thought it was pretty cool. Most of my friends smoked as well and we spent more time stealing cigarettes from our families than we did actually smoking them. I was so good at taking their cigarettes they never had a clue. It wasn’t until many years later that I told them about it and we all had a laugh or two. It was either steal from them or take a chance of being caught shoplifting in a store.
There was and still is a price to pay for such behavior and I soon found out what karma was all about. My best friend at the time was my partner in crime and karma reared it’s ugly head in the following incident we were involved in. It occurred at our elementary school where we accidentally started a fire in a nearby field while sneaking a cigarette that burned that field just prior to the annual Easter egg hunt. Lots of fried eggs, firemen, and police officers are all I remember about that day. Karma can be a real bitch.
Marijuana was next on my list and I did my best to smoke as much of it as possible over a five year period. I slowly weaned myself from both marijuana and cigarettes and finally kicked both nasty habits. I dabbled with alcohol as well a for a while but I could never get into the projectile vomiting thing.
After cleaning up my act I fell into two new addictions which I still have to this day. I’m John and I’m a chocoholic and caffeine addict. I just can’t stay away from these wonderful things and I promise I never will. Unfortunately it may require that I be buried with a bag of Hersey kisses and a hot cup of Hazelnut coffee. I won’t even get into my bacon issues which are even worse. It seems like every addiction I’ve ever had has been bad for me and that pisses me off. Why can’t I find a really healthy addiction?
My latest and possibly most boring addiction won’t kill me but it does irritate and annoy me. It’s called Words With Friends, a computerized take off of the old Scrabble game and is played on Smart Phones and Tablets.
I’ve tried on a number of occasions to quit but I keep getting pulled back into it by my friends and family members. It’s maddening at times because it requires that I respond in a reasonable fashion to their game play. There have been times that I’ve had as many as ten games going on at the same time and at that point it becomes more of a chore than fun. I want to stop but the ever present peer pressure to continue is there and plays heavily on my competitiveness. It becomes even more ridiculous when friends and family members become upset with me if I decline to play or if don’t do an immediate rematch.
I need to find a new addiction and fast. I’ve never been addicted to sex like some people but I could easily be pulled in that direction. Even that seems like too much work if you think about it. I want a lazier addiction that I can enjoy without it becoming strenuous.
I’m being forced to continue my never-ending search but in the meantime does anyone out there know a good four letter word that contains a "Q", an "X", and a "J"?
Where’s that twelve step program when you need one?
everyuselessthing.com 