Archive for the ‘Just Saying’ Category
I woke up early this morning and I’m now lying in bed drinking my first cup of coffee. I’m looking out the window at all of the wonderful snow we received overnight. A few minutes ago I watched my neighbor who lives further back in the woods from us walking along his driveway dressed like an eskimo. Every morning at exactly 7:00 am he walks from his house to the road to pick up his daily newspaper. He must be strictly regimented because he varies no more than a minute or two each day. Exactly fifteen minutes later he again walks to the road with his little daughter and waits with her for her school bus.
Are you also a “creature of habit”? I think we all are in one way or another and may not even be aware of it at times. My cat just walked by the bed on his way to continue his patrol of the house. He is the poster cat for the term “creature of habit”. He in turn through his actions requires me to become part of his daily routine.
Every morning starting at 6:00 am he starts his nagging for food. He knows that after a certain period of time I’ll be forced from sheer annoyance to get my lazy ass up and feed him. This pattern started ten years ago when he and I were living the wild and crazy bachelor lifestyle in good old Sanford, Maine, a well known area for wild nightlife and many unexplained deaths from sheer boredom. Once we moved to Saco, Maine it took him more than a month to adapt to the new home and surrounding circumstances. I made the same adjustment in a matter of days.
Apparently our adaptability to change is based solely on intelligence not cuteness. If it was based on cuteness then I’d have adjusted even quicker. In case you’ve forgotten I am one cute SOB.
My better-half is the ultimate creature of habit and sometimes it’s even in a good way. She has a radio in every room of the house and cannot bear to have a moment of quiet. As she moves from room to room she turns on the radio upon her arrival. There have been times when she’s had multiple radios playing in different areas of the house. This pattern of behavior apparently started many years ago long before my arrival on the scene. My assumption is that it was her way of accomplishing three things. First she loves listening to music, second it drowned out the noise from her three children, and thirdly it blocked any unnecessary conversations with her ex-husband. Remember that is my assumption which she is certain to disagree with. Just so you know she was reading this over my shoulder and has already disagreed loudly with my assumptions.
Even the birds who visit our home three or four thousand times a day have their habits and patterns. I can set my watch by a large and annoying woodpecker who appears twice a day at the same time to eat the suet we provide. The blue jays appear as well at a different times to avoid the woodpecker. All of the smaller birds schedule themselves appropriately to avoid the woodpecker and the blue jays. Everyone and everything has patterns that coincide neatly with everyone else’s. It’s just simply the way of things and something we have little or no control over.
So, as you’re going about your daily routines, stop every so often and think about your habits and patterns and how comfortable they make you feel. We do them for a reason whether we like to admit it or not. As young people we develop habits that interlock with the habits of our family. As soon as we introduce others to our life we immediately fit them into the nitch we’ve created for them.
Is it any wonder we all seem to love jigsaw puzzles. They’re a mass of varied and odd pieces that combine into a finished and complete picture. Our lives are much the same.
So I’m being forced from my bed by both the cat and my better-half to feed one and snow blow for the other. I guess that confirms me as a true “creature of habit” with a little help from my friends.
With cold and snow still dominating the landscape for at least another month it gives a person a great deal of time to think about this and that. Today is the day for marriage to be thought about and examined. I like millions of others have been married and divorced and suffered with the accompanying emotional damage. Nineteen years of memories I would love to remove from my memory banks except for a few months of actual happiness.
I was raised by parents who dated from when they were in their teens. They lived a few blocks from each other and were inseparable as teens until my father enlisted in the Navy during WW II. I always thought their marriage was a happy one because we (my sister and I) were protected from certain things. My father later in life made me privy to a number of incidents and occurrences that brought them close to divorce and I wished he had me told me those things earlier. They might actually have helped me through some rough times in my own marriage. It was only my mothers religious beliefs concerning divorce and a fear of community and family ridicule that kept them together.
Marriage can be a wonderful thing but when it doesn’t work it a freaking nightmare. Yet millions of people still believe that they are the exception to the rule and continue to jump into what at best is a fifty-fifty proposition. A normal thinking person would almost never gamble their money on those kind of odds but are immediately willing to jump into a legally binding relationship which has a better than average chance of failing.
In the past it was ingrained in children that marriage was the ultimate goal with having kids, a mortgage, and the proverbial white picket fence. Here are a few more recent facts obtained from the Pew Research Center that begin to show just how much that has changed in recent years.
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The ratio of new marriages to divorces is 2 to 1 (Marriages and Divorces).
Total Marriages showed a sharp drop in 1998 and after a brief rebound, continued to trend down.
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The population of unmarried women will soon surpass the number of married women. This indicates a rejection of the Divine Institution of Marriage by the general population.
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The number of Unmarried Couple Households (live-in) is increasing steadily.
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Children living with only one parent have increased from 9% in 1960 to 27% in 2009. Of those 87% of the children live with the mother.
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Previous marriage experience plays a big role in whether people want to get married (again) or not.
These facts indicate that the drop in the marriage rate is due primarily to people believing that marriage is more of a problem than a solution. Apparently people these days are deciding in greater numbers that the marriage gamble isn’t worth the risk. The emotional damage coupled with the financial ramifications to both partners has taken some of the shine off of the marriage apple.
I’m currently unmarried and that will never change. I’m sharing my life with my soulmate which was always the most important thing to me. Marriage never supplied me with much of anything except a piece of paper. Living together has surprisingly given us a great deal of freedom in that we are both free to leave at any time with no divorce nonsense as a consequence. We are together because that’s what we both want. I actually find myself working harder to keep our relationship peaceful and loving like never before. It was like the marriage document itself put undue pressure on me, both emotionally and financially.
I wish the gay community all the best in their efforts to marry legally. As I’ve said many times before why should they miss out on all the benefits of marriage. Arguing, fighting, cheating, financial problems, divorce, alimony, and child support. They must be crazy.
This day is just about over and it’s been another day of continuing preparation for the drywall installation into our newly redone bedroom. It’s taken most of the winter to strip out this room and redo the electrical, framing, and flooring but at least now I can finally see the effing light at the end of the tunnel. For the first time it’s not a train rushing towards me going a hundred miles an hour.
I’ve been patiently waiting for the snow to melt so I can dig out the fire pit and have my normal spring bonfire. It’s the easiest way to clean out the garage and workshop of the winter’s accumulation of wood scraps and worthless construction materials. It beats the alternative of paying someone to pick it up and haul it away. I purposely have the bonfire each spring before the area dry’s out and the fire becomes a hazard. As in most local towns they have a lame requirement for burning permits and to that I’m forced to say "Catch me if you can". Everything right now within a hundred miles of this house is so wet you couldn’t start a fire if you wanted to. I normally refuse to obey ordinances that make no sense and this is one of those occasions. The last thing I need are town yokels showing up to give official approval to my fire. Stupid government intrusions!
I actually find myself being effected by a disease known here in Maine as Early Spring Syndrome. I forced myself to take my lawn tractor out for a short spin today to charge the battery and check it’s general condition. It was all good until I got stuck in the snow and had to shovel it out. ESS is a dangerously stupid condition that makes you feel good and ridiculous all at the same time.
I’m now sitting here in the kitchen having a coffee and watching my neighbor hanging her laundry on their clothesline. This women and her daughters truly puzzle me at times. I’ve watched over the years as they’ve hung their laundry out in ten degree weather where it freezes as stiff as a board. I must admit that a clothes line full of frozen bra’s and panties swinging in the wind can be interesting but it just seems pointless. Now if they were hanging laundry on the line wearing just their bras and panties I might reconsider just how interesting it is. I watch in amazement as they stand in a driving rain storm to hang out their bed sheets and other unmentionables. Am I missing something here? Do they really know something I don’t? I just haven’t figured it out yet. I may start taking photo’s of them in different seasonal weather conditions and publish a really strange coffee table book filled with my sarcastic and wise-ass commentary. I love the idea but I’m almost certain they wouldn’t.
Well, it’s time for the better-half to arrive from work and I think she’s expecting a meal to be waiting for her. Oh well, everyone wants something.
Another winter month coming to an end. It’s hard to believe that it’s March already and we’re within a few short weeks of April and the beginning of another Spring. Even with all of the snow, sleet, and ice we’ve had this winter it’s just flown by.
Since I’m the ultimate planner I ‘m already looking forward to gardening and how I plan on improving our garden. You really can’t start too soon in Maine because our growing season is so much shorter than the norm. Last year we had some successes with the garden and a couple of abject failures. For the first time I planted collard greens just to see if they’d grow in this colder climate. OMG, a huge mistake on my part. I didn’t realize just how freaking big those plants could get. I planted only six plants and they just took over the entire corner of my growing frame. I was so pissed I jerked them out of the ground and personally delivered them to the compost pile. I wasn’t even smart enough to keep one or two to eat. I’m guess I’m in need of counseling to help me manage my Garden Anger.
I like keeping a medium sized garden that produces well and anything that I deem a problem or an obstacle to my goals is gone, gone, gone. I guess that’s why my compost pile is fifteen feet long and three feet high.
My biggest disappointment is growing tomatoes. I love to eat them and use them in a variety of recipes but it seems that successfully growing them isn’t likely to happen. Cherry tomatoes seem to do well both in the garden and containers on the deck but regular tomatoes, no such luck. I’ve tried different fertilizers, had my soil tested and adjusted, planted a number of variations, all to no avail. I even went so far as to buy a couple of those upside-down growing bags that were advertised on TV for a couple of summers. They were a huge pain in the ass to start with and never produced a single tomato. Very frustrating to say the least.
I have a sizeable herb garden which always does well and supplies us with a variety of herbs for cooking year round. I may try a few new and different things this year like adding additional garlic chive plants, a chocolate mint or two, and maybe two or three varieties of basil and sages. It’s much more fun to experiment with your plantings when there’s no fear of the plants not growing as expected. I’ve discovered that most herbs will survive almost anything except a lack of water.
Well, so much for my first taste of Spring Fever. It all started with this little burst of warm weather today. I feel as most people in Maine do. We’ve had our long and snow-laden winter which was beautiful and all but it time to move on. Very soon we’ll have warm weather, the smell of cut grass, walks in the woods, strolls on the beach, and vacation visits from family and friends who refuse to come to Maine in the winter. Can’t wait!
Here’s hoping 2013 is as good as expected and even better than last year. C’mon warm weather, you’ve been missed.
Last week I casually mentioned my fascination with Victorian women and some of the responses I received were interesting to say the least. Still, the more I read the more interested I became in that time period. That resulted in further research to satisfy my strange yet engaging Victorian fixation. I realize that I’m taking a real risk in ruining a life long sexual fantasy but what’s life without a little risk.
As I’ve always been told by friends and family alike, "be careful what you ask for". My research into the Victorian age revealed some of the downsides of the era. The social intercourse of the time had many strict rules for behavior including rules for just visiting someone. Here’s a quote from a Victoria Domestic Manual explaining the rules of "calling on someone".
"Those who mix in society are in the habit of reminding one another of their existence, either by personally calling on each other during certain hours, or by merely leaving their cards at the door."
Those visits were normally made by single women and idle men between the hours of 1-5 pm in the city or between 12-4 pm at the country house. A call was to last no more than fifteen minutes and was made twice a year and on certain special occasions.
1. After the birth of a baby – either in person or by a servant
2. On the marriage of a daughter – usually the day after the wedding
3. After a death – no calls were made until the lady of the house had sent round her cards "to return thanks for the inquiries" made during the time of
mourning.
4. Prior to a long absence from home – ladies then called on their friends
When a lady making a call is married and her husband is too busy to call, she may leave his card for the master of the house.
In leaving cards for a married couple, a lady is to leave one card and the man should leave two.
Formal calls on certain special occasions should be returned within a few days. If not a formal apology is required and expected.
Refreshments are not required in town visits but in the country they should be made available if a caller comes a long distance.
Could you imagine having these sorts of rules in place now. All of our younger generations would be required to drop a card when they visited anyone. I can only imagine what those cards might look like. It would break out into individual groups like everything else seems to do. You would have Hip-Hop cards, Nerd cards, Artist cards, Sports Cards, and Designer Cards for every occasion. The look of the card would become another peer pressure item with competition making their costs skyrocket. Plain old black and white print would no longer be cool but gold embossed print with an accompanying graphic or photo would the next step. It would be the next new old thing for the 21st century. What will come after that? A return to bell bottoms, mullets, or my all time favorite, girdles.
People need to realize that something stupid a hundred years ago is still stupid today. I hope we haven’t just run out of new and original good ideas. It’s too depressing to ponder, so I won’t.
Today has been another remodeling/construction day with a major step forward finally taken. I’ve reached the point where the wall between our bedroom and the adjacent room was taken down. For the first time we both can visualize the finished product and the end of this long drawn out project.
I hired the flooring installer this week who will be putting down the hardwood floors. The flooring materials were purchased and delivered and while a little pricey they’ll perfectly match the floors in the rest of the house. Another room without that outdated and worn carpeting which leaves only one left to finish. Thank God!
I also continued and completed my review of the photographs taken during the last storm. I was so happy to see how beautiful many of the snow scenes turned out. Between the better-half and I we have quite the collection of salable pictures. I look forward to having a few enlarged to poster size for possible framing and eventual sale.
It appears we’re in for more snow later in the week. This has been quite the Maine winter with a constant mix of weather hitting us on a regular basis. During the last storm alone on one day it snowed in the early morning, then sleet, rain, more snow, more rain, and finally the addition fifteen additional inches of wet and heavy snow. After all of that the temps were in the forties most of the day today which is just a little strange to say the least.
I’m sitting here enjoying the quiet before I head off to bed. My normal habit of reading before bed isn’t getting the job done tonight. I’ve been dealing with a half-assed bout with insomnia for the last few nights and there’s nothing worse than being unable to rest. I’m hoping it will pass soon but I suspect that the lack of physical activity due to the weather is not helping. I’m sure it will pass eventually but I’m really missing those good nights of eight hours of solid sleep and rest.
One more thing before I retire. I’d like to collectively welcome and thank a few of the new followers to this blog who I hope will enjoy their future visits here. Check out their blogs and enjoy them as I do: tokillahammingbird, domesticdiva, thebaggagehandler, artlesspoetry, charlottecarrendar, theevolutionofeloquence, livingwithadhd, and jaguarjill.
As I sit here today watching the freaking snow come down I’m a little irked because I have a few people in my life who’ve labeled me a ‘neat freak’. I’ve never been too fond of that negative terminology or the term OCD (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder) but I suppose in the end it’s probably true to a degree. Looking through my family tree for any proof of a ‘neat’ gene was no help at all. Believe me there is no indication whatsoever that anyone in my family was ever ‘neat’ at the level I seem to be. I have to admit that my nephew in Texas shows some minor indicators but not near the level I’ve reached.
These days it seems this condition is all the rage but they (the experts) have come up with a number of new names for what they deem a terrible affliction, ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder), ADD (Attention Deficit Disorder) immediately comes to mind, and OCD (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder).
Just another excuse to bang the prescription drug drum. More drugs, take more drugs, buy more drugs, and everything will be just fine. Take the small children who may act up slightly in school, diagnose them with a myriad of alphabet diseases, and immediately put them onto some sort of drug regimen. The teachers apparently need their classes to be totally calm and controllable or they just can’t get the job done. Everyone knows its always much easier to control a room full of zombies than a bunch of excited children.
I agree there are some children and adults who are at the extreme end of hyperactivity and may need some sort of medication to calm them but not at the levels we’re currently seeing.
I feel for those people and can’t begin to imagine trying to live a normal life if my ‘neat freak’ affliction were twice as bad as it is. Unfortunately thousands of young children are automatically labeled with OCD, ADD, or ADHD which will then follow them for the rest of their lives. It not only colors how other people see them but how they see themselves. It actually in some cases can give them an excuse for continued bad behavior. "I’m OCD, it’s not my fault, my parents forgot to give me my pills this morning."
My sympathies go out to those people suffering with severe cases of this affliction. My sympathies also go out to the thousands of young children who are being medicated unnecessarily in order to maintain some sort of control in the schools. Being a smart ass with a wise mouth doesn’t make you ADD, ADHD, OCD, or anything else. It just makes you a smart ass with a big mouth who should not be considered a candidate for drugging.
I’m sure that some of you will be pissed off and disagree with me completely. That’s your prerogative but it won’t change in any way what I think or feel on the subject. For those of you who want to rant and rave at me, feel free.
With winter seeming to drag on endlessly I decided to spend time today working with my photographs. I currently have almost fifteen thousand photos taken over the last five years that need to be properly sorted, filed, and backed up. It’ a tedious and time consuming process but absolutely necessary when dealing with these large numbers of pictures.
It’s a chore that I really enjoy and it gives me an opportunity to again relive when I took them and in many cases why I took them. The last two summers I’ve been involved photographing a subject I just love, dragonflies. Dragonflies have become one of my all time passions due to their delicacy and beauty. I purchased a great lens about five years ago and it’s primarily used to take macro photo’s. These photo’s are so detailed you’re able to see the segmented wings and the gorgeous colors like never before.
In a local area nearby I found a small isolated pond that teems with dragonflies of all types and colors. I spent many hours sitting near the swampy end of that pond amongst the cattails observing the dragonflies and attempting to identify the many types I was seeing. They’re very curious and upon my arrival they normally swarmed around me to see what I was doing. Getting them to pose for photo’s was difficult at best because they almost never stop moving. It was frustrating to say the least and it required me to study up on the species in an attempt to solve that problem.
They live in a larva stage in the water of ponds often for years where they’re able to prey on small fish to survive. The winged stage is very short and is for mating, egg laying, mosquito eating, and then death. They’ve been around in one form or another for millions of years and have slowly evolved into these smaller versions of the originals. Fossils have been found with dragonflies more than two feet long.
I did discover that many of the smaller ones I photographed were not actually dragonflies but damselflies. Dragonflies have huge eyes that touch each other but the damselflies eyes are separated and they’re much smaller. They come in a number of vivid colors but the ones I see most often are an electric blue. Both species as I mentioned earlier are very curious and militantly territorial. They spend their entire lives looking for food and fighting to maintain those territories whether in the water or out. They’re what you might call scrappy.
I needed to find a way to get them to sit still for a few seconds. Taking their photographs in flight while OK wasn’t giving me the detail that I needed. I first took a small piece of gum and attached it to the end of a reed sticking up in the swamp. They did land occasionally on those reeds and it appeared they were resting or possibly sunning themselves. No luck with that strategy, they landed for a second and then were gone. I next tried a drop of sugar water on the reed and had some successes but still not what I was looking for. Eventually I found an ant, squished it, and then placed a piece of it on the end of the reed. Bingo, they landed and stayed for a few seconds longer than usual and I began to get some great pictures.
Over the next two months I took some truly amazing photographs. Once they determined I wasn’t a threat they forgot about me completely and came close with little or no fear. If you’d like to give it a try you’ll certainly need a great deal of patience and a supply of ants.
Well, back to the computer to finish up my sorting. I’m starting to get a small jolt of spring fever and excited for warm weather so I can get back to the swamp.
I decided that today would be my day of rest and relaxation. I’ve spent most of the last week continuing my bedroom remodeling project. The electrical has been rewired, Check! The insulation has been repaired, replaced, and a vapor barrier installed, Check! The new framing for the closet and bedroom entry way has been completed, Check! The room as been cleaned to within an inch of it’s life, Check! Most of the tools and excess materials have been removed, Check! And last but not least, I’m just sick of working on it, Double Check! I’ve decided that after I hang the drywall over the next couple of weeks I’m done. It’s time to call in the professionals to install the hardwood floor and the rest of the finish work.
Today is for vegging, reading, loafing, and doing huge amounts of nothing. The better-half has a day off and will be on a shopping safari with her daughter for a quite a while. What does that mean? It means peace and quiet for a few hours. No loud annoying C & W music, no banging and clanging of pots in the kitchen, and no repeated requests for help. Just a good book, a comfy chair, and a freshly brewed cup of hot coffee. . . .
It’s later now and I’m pleased that I was able to read almost a hundred pages of my book without interruption. The cat gave up trying to get my attention about an hour ago and has found a soft spot on the couch across the room to crash. Every so often he opens one eye to make sure I’m still there but I think he’s beginning to understand it’s his day off as well. . . .
Darkness has now fallen and my better-half has returned with a medium size load of purchases. I’ve been officially granted limited access to her woman-cave this evening to construct a chair she recently purchased. She claims it’s a chair that will be kept there just for me to use during my occasional visits. I get that old feeling she’s telling me what she thinks I want to hear to get the job done. Maybe I’m being a little cynical but I’m not really offended. I just count my blessings that I’m permitted to visit the place at all. It’s like being offered a private visit to Disneyland. . . .
The chair is now built and we’re having a drink to celebrate. We’re discussing current events and any other meaningless things we can think of. The lasagna is cooking, the drinks are cold, the chair is easy on my backside, and life is good. I guess I’m just easy to please at times.
We decided to watch a movie before retiring for the night and as usual within twenty minutes I’m watching the movie and she’s lightly snoring on the couch. I’ll wait a while before I wake her which shouldn’t be too long because this movie, Beowulf, is one of the worse things I’ve ever seen. I’d rather be getting my teeth drilled than watch anymore of it. Just freaking awful.
I guess there’s no such thing as a perfect day so I’ll take what I can get. I’ve learned over the years to enjoy the good, try to ignore the bad, and keep on moving on.
It seems that honoring past presidents has for some reason been relegated to the month of February. I’ve always felt that Presidents Day should be celebrated in and around the 4th of July. It make more sense to me than having every presidents birthday being honored individually which probably explains what it isn’t done that way. What the hell do I know.
I’ve spent a few hours trying to decide on a specific president to discuss and it’s truly been a difficult decision. As I was reading about this one or that one I stumbled on a huge surprise. We’ve had many excellent presidents to be sure and a few real stinkers in recent years. It’s easy to praise Washington, Lincoln, FDR, or JFK, so I won’t do that. I’ve never really read a lot about Harry Truman other than he was a plain talking, kick them in the ass, or drop an A-Bomb on them, kind of guy. Here’s my pleasant surprise of the year so far. I think we need more guys like this.
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Harry Truman was a different kind of President. He probably made as many, or more important decisions regarding our nation’s history as any of the other 42 Presidents preceding him. However, a measure of his greatness may rest on what he did after he left the White House.
The only asset he had when he died was the house he lived in, which was in Independence Missouri. His wife inherited the house from her parents and other than their years in the White House, they lived their entire lives there. When he retired from office in 1952 his income was a U.S. Army pension reported to have been $13,507.72 a year. Congress, noting that he was paying for his own stamps and personally licking them, granted him an ‘allowance’ and, later, a retroactive pension of $25,000 per year.
After President Eisenhower was inaugurated, Harry and Bess drove home to Missouri by themselves. There was no Secret Service protection in those days. When offered corporate positions at large salaries, he declined, stating, "You don’t want me. You want the office of the President, and that doesn’t belong to me. It belongs to the American people and it’s not for sale."
Even later, on May 6, 1971, when Congress was preparing to award him the Medal of Honor on his 87th birthday, he refused to accept it, writing, "I don’t consider that I have done anything which should be the reason for any award, Congressional or otherwise."
As president he paid for all of his own travel expenses and food. Modern politicians have found a new level of success in cashing in on the Presidency, resulting in untold wealth. Today, many in Congress also have found a way to become quite wealthy while enjoying the fruits of their offices.
Good old Harry was correct when he observed, "My choices in life were either to be a piano player in a whore house or a politician. And to tell the truth, there’s hardly any difference!"
We’ll never see another like Harry Truman but we sure could use someone with his courage and good old common sense approach to things. So, happy President’s Day Harry, you deserve being recognized as one who set the bar high and then jumped over it.
