Archive for the ‘Kill Me, I’m Begging You’ Category
The Maryland trip is now a thing of the past. We returned home last night after eight and a half wonderful hours in the car. As predicted my better-half was hung over and slept a great deal of the time. No Christmas carol singing, no annoying driving tips, and no blaring music. It was absolute heaven.
But have no fear, it wasn’t all good. Let me take you on a trip back to fifteenth century France. In those days the citizenry were permitted to use the roads in the country only with the King’s blessing. Every so often while traveling through the country side they might be ambushed by groups of highwaymen who took their money and jewels and disappeared into the woods. If they were wealthy they might have hired extra security to ride along with them for protection from such ruffians. It was a primitive system but it worked well for the rich. In those days the poor were lucky to have a two wheeled cart to get around on. It was mostly on foot since the cost to travel couldn’t be afforded by the great unwashed.
Aren’t we lucky to live in this century with all of our modern technologies to make our lives so much better than those poor schmucks from the past? We don’t have highwaymen to worry about because we now have toll booths. It’s not just the King’s men reaching out of those booths but every petty little dictatorship along the way takes their share as well. The Kings of Maryland, Delaware, New Jersey, New York, Massachusetts, New Hampshire and Maine have now made it even more painful to have our money stolen. Thievery thy name is “Easy Pass”. Now the highwaymen have made it possible to take our money and never having to dirty their hands by touching it.
My trip consisted of just over a thousand miles round-trip. I won’t even get into gas prices and the taxes they’ve been loaded up with. My grand total of tolls to make that trip to visit family was just under one hundred dollars. The most “in your face” toll goes to who else but New York. Thirteen freaking dollars to ride over a fucking bridge. Pardon the bad language but only an F-bomb aptly describes how I felt handing over that money. Let’s make it easy for you math whizzes, 1000 mile trip with $100.00 in tolls. I find it incredible that I’m being strong-armed into paying ten cents an effing mile to travel on roads I’ve already paid my hard earned taxes to build and maintain. Then they have the nerve at every Rest Area to try and sell me an Easy Pass transponder. I guess they feel if we don’t actually have to take it out of our wallet and hand it directly to a toll taker it won’t hurt quite so much. Wrong again geniuses.
I hear a lot of people talking about secession and revolution these days and I’m beginning to understand why. It seems that this country has started down a really ugly road. Just remember that “Those who cannot remember the past are doomed to repeat it." The younger generations have been educated to hate this country and to ignore it’s history. Here’s something they can’t ignore, “Taxation without representation is tyranny.” It was a slogan of our past revolutionary fight and could be again if we’re not careful.
The cherry on top of the trip occurred at a McDonalds rest stop at the New York/Connecticut border. I was starving and needed gas so we stopped for a quick break. In my younger days my perfect woman would have been one who was attractive, worked at a fast food chain (free food), and smelled like greasy hamburgers and french fries. I’m here to tell you those days are officially over. The girl at the register and the entire facility fulfilled all of my past fantasies and then some. I arrived home a few hours later and had to take a long shower to get the smell of grease off my body. Of course this morning I could still taste that greasy hamburger and had the heart burn to prove it and it was steal at seven bucks. Another New York bargain.
It was a fun weekend for us both if we can forget the travel there and back. I’m sooooo glad to be home.
After yesterdays rant I found myself feeling somewhat better about the upcoming holidays. Now for the next week we will be preparing for our trip to Maryland. It’s going to be a long week because we’re already fighting and arguing with each other over preparations.
Part of those preparations include topping off the home heating oil tank so we don’t run out of fuel while we’re away. We had the tank filled up today and what a bargain, only five hundred and fifty dollars to keep the house at an uncomfortably cold sixty-two degrees until late January. I guess I shouldn’t complain because last winter we maintained the house in the range of 55-65 degrees for the entire season and let me tell you a little secret. It’s really hard to get a good nights sleep when your wearing long johns, socks, a tassel hat, and two layers of clothing. That’s the conundrum, not spending the money you save by keeping the house cooler for extra clothing to keep your body warmer. The bottom line is this, winter is expensive and you can’t avoid paying through the nose for it.
The government energy experts love advising people to use alternative sources of energy. Wood burning, solar power, and wind power are their favorites. After doing my research I come to find out it pretty much is a huge load of manure. To equip my home with just a basic solar system would cost ten to twenty thousand dollars. If I saved just $20.00 a month based on a fifteen thousand dollar expenditure it would require 62.5 years to recoup my money. What a deal. Pellet stoves are cheaper but not by much. If I wanted wind power it could cost in the area of four thousand dollars and would give me the ability to light a limited number of lights in a few rooms of my home. So much for the alternative energy sources. They may become economical at some time in the future but unfortunately I’ll probably be dead for twenty years.
I’m leaving in a few minutes to visit the local tire store for maintenance on my vehicle before the trip. I been having issues with a slow leak that’s been driving me crazy for over a month. Hopefully it won’t cost me an arm and a leg for repairs but as always expect the worst and when it doesn’t happen, celebrate.
I also need to do a little shopping for clothes that pass my better-half’s inspection. I wouldn’t want to show up at any gathering with her family looking like my normal self. I’ve been told to clean up my act, cut my hair, shave my face, and scrub my filthy body. I’m not only required to look good but to smell good as well. I won’t be permitted to make the trip if I have one freaking hair out of place. This get together is just going to be “the cats ass”. Deck the effing halls!
First we had Black Friday and the week long barrage of advertisements that preceded it. The bombardment was brutal as always and made it virtually impossible for me to comfortably watch TV, listen to the radio, or read my emails. Spam was worse than usual on the net and there was just no let up. Some time Friday afternoon I expected some relief when the end of Black Friday was in sight. Wrong! Visiting a few stores during that week was a huge disappointment for me too. In years past the Christmas holiday really didn’t take off until the weekend following Black Friday, but no more. For example, Lowes was setting Christmas displays two weeks before Black Friday and I can only assume they were following the example set by the Big Daddy retailer, Walmart. I was already sick of the Christmas season in late September with their slashed prices, great deals, giveaways, and enough coupons mailed to kill off a large forest. It was just plain stupid but I was certain it would soon decline in frequency. Wrong again.
I wake up bright and early on Sunday and the barrage had changed focus. It’s now the beginning of the ramp up to Cyber Monday. I wonder what genius thought up that pain-in-the-ass promotion. Chances are good it was a combination of people from Best Buy, Apple, and of course Amazon. My mail box was suddenly filled anew with another round of nonsense. The old Circuit City brand that closed it’s retail establishments five years ago is now alive and well as an internet business and returned once more to bother me. Prices were being lowered again and again with the drumbeat continuing on both television and radio. I was forced to abandon electronic media for a day or two and just sit quietly and read a good book.
Monday arrived and again I was hoping for a reprieve from the advertising onslaught with the end of the Cyber Monday debacle. Wrong again. Late Monday I began hearing a new phrase being bandied about, Cyber Week! These effing people are relentless in their need to make most of us as miserable and brainwashed as possible. Maybe next year November can become Cyber Month and Christmas resets can begin in August. This country is on advertising overload and has been for quite some time. I recall a time when cable TV was first introduced and they called it Pay TV. We were assured that with the advent of cable we could watch television commercial-free for just a small monthly payment. That claim lasted about a week before they began to clog the new cable airways with ads and began jacking up the monthly fee.
I sat with a stop watch one evening earlier this year and decided to determine how much time was spent on actual TV programming. In a standard one half hour sitcom we’re being force-fed approximately ten minutes of boring, annoying, and stupid advertisements. That means for a two hour movie special we are fed forty minutes of ads. It won’t be long before what used to be an hour special will become a three and a half hour advertising fiasco. When will it end? I think the answer to that would be “Never”.
We aren’t permitted any ad free time to sit and think about anything but spend, spend, spend. Walmart seems to be the trend setter in all things retail and it doesn’t take long for Target, Best Buy, and all of the others to follow suit. Walmart is constantly in our face on TV and upon arrival at their stores you’ll find endless numbers of signs posted everywhere. You enter the building and there are signs for the Donut Shop, Pharmacy, Bank, Eyeglasses, Beauty Shop and even Nail Salons. The entire building is covered in signs for just about every product they carry. Their latest and greatest devices to drive me crazy are those little LCD screens located on end-caps that activate as you approach. Another sales pitch for some bullshit useless product I didn’t want to begin with. My first introduction to those little devices scared the crap out of me as I was walking along minding my own business and all of a sudden I have a female voice bellowing at me to buy some stupid product I really didn’t need. Criminally annoying.
My rant is over for now. The problem with all of these advertisements is two fold. First, they seem to work which gives the companies incentive to continue using them and second, it gives them the power to manipulate large numbers of the population to do their bidding. As always my bitch about the Media in general is their constant attempts to control not only politics in this country but everything else as well. If that doesn’t give you pause and scare you a little then we’ve already lost the battle.
I’m leaving now because I feel the need to scream and then run to Walmart and buy something stupid. Merry Effing Christmas!
I’ve always been an avid TV watcher from a very early age. I come by it honestly since I was one of that first generation to be introduced to it at birth. I’ve always watched a lot of programming but there’s a recent trend that disturbs and annoys me. I’ve read Bram Stoker’s Dracula many times and giving credit where credit is due, it was a scary and harmless story for any young kid to read. When Bela Lugosi made the movie, it scared the shit out of an entire generation. As always it faded into history and we moved on. To me this obsession with vampires, werewolves, and zombies is odd. I’ve read the classics like The Wolfman and seen Romero’s Dawn of the Living Dead when it actually premiered. It was a big deal at the time only because it was filmed in the Monroeville Mall in Monroeville, Pennsylvania, a twenty minute ride from my home. We all went to see the movie but as most other movies it scared the crap out of us and then faded into history and we moved on.
The people who are salivating over Twilight are an enigma to me. I understand erotic fantasies and how real they can become but c’mon. Turning what once was a horrific movie and book anti-hero into everyone’s new love interest makes no sense to me. We now have blood drinking vampire cults, bars where full costume is required, and the movement continues to grow. Zombie this and zombie that is giving me an effing headache. Are things in this society so badly screwed up that escaping into the world of vampirism and zombies is the only way to go? Thanks but no thanks.
Turning vampirism and blood sucking into an erotic sexual fantasy is beyond ridiculous. The TV networks being true “blood suckers” in their own right have discovered “there’s gold in them thar vampires”, and are making millions by filling the air waves and movie theatre’s with more blood drinking heroes and heroines. Even reality shows like “Sons of Gun’s” just had to have an episode where they created a weapon for zombie killing. That episode took me from being a casual viewer of the show to a future no-show.
One of my all time favorite horror movies has always been Young Frankenstein. I’d much rather have a huge belly laugh at the theatre and then go home to a warm bed and the woman I love instead of fantasizing sexually over ridiculous story lines and even more ridiculous characters. To those of you who read this and get angry, save your breath, and then move on.
I mentioned about a week ago that I was reasonably sure that the History Channel would begin the “Dooms Day” drumbeat once the election was over. I hate to say “I told you so” but “I told you so”. They’ve been playing the same old programs about the Mayan predictions and for the millionth time we also are getting hammered with tales of Nostradamus. Apparently the “Doomsday” flu has also begun to infect someone in my household as well when my back was turned and I wasn’t paying the proper attention.
Certain mornings are a special time for me when sleeping-in is permitted, no telephone calls are taken, and snuggling with my honey is looked forward to. Until this morning that is. I was warm and toasty and in that place between sleep and awake where weird dreams and odd thoughts make their appearances. It’s a place I look forward to visiting often and many good ideas and projects have been started there. My better-half was tossing and turning and she then slowly rolled over, looked me in the eye, and stated clearly “Do you think we’re survivalists?”. I was dumb-founded but immediately answered “No”. She then asked if I thought we had enough guns and ammunition to get us through the trouble that was coming. Again I said “No”. Too weird! It seems that some of my better-half’s family have been whispering “Doomsday” craziness to her and she’s been somewhat infected. I assured her that Doomsday prophesies aren’t uncommon and that I could easily remember at least five from recent years alone.
Pat Robertson, 1982 – In May 1980, televangelist and Christian Coalition founder startled and alarmed many when he informed his “700 Club” TV show audience around the world that he knew when the world would end.
Heaven’s Gate, 1997 – When comet Hale-Bopp appeared in 1997, rumors surfaced that an alien spacecraft was following the comet — covered up, of course, by NASA and the astronomical community. Though the claim was refuted by astronomers (and could be refuted by anyone with a good telescope), the rumors were publicized on Art Bell’s paranormal radio talk show “Coast to Coast AM.” These claims inspired a San Diego UFO cult named Heaven’s Gate to conclude that the world would end soon. The world did indeed end for 39 of the cult members, who committed suicide on March 26, 1997.
Nostradamus, August 1999 – The heavily obfuscated and metaphorical writings of Michel de Nostrdame have intrigued people for over 400 years: “The year 1999, seventh month / From the sky will come great king of terror.”
God’s Church Ministry, Fall 2008 – According to God’s Church minister Ronald Weinland, the end times are upon us– again. His 2006 book “2008: God’s Final Witness” states that hundreds of millions of people will die, and by the end of 2006, “there will be a maximum time of two years remaining before the world will be plunged into the worst time of all human history.
The Mayans, 12/21/2012 – A few thousand, human sacrificing, savages decided long ago that the earth would end this December. It’s amazing how many reasonably intelligent people eat this nonsense up. I’m certainly not getting all excited by the ravings of a bunch of primitive Indians who weren’t smart enough to keep their own civilization from disappearing.
I hope I’ve succeeded in convincing her and anyone reading this that Dooms Day nonsense has been around for centuries and panicked millions of people for no good reason. Why do certain arrogant humans believe that for whatever reason they’ve been given all the answers by God and he apparently just “needed to tell someone”. Crap piled on crap, and covered with more crap.
Today started out reasonably well. For a change I slept in till nine and when I awoke found my cat asleep at my feet. That explained why he hadn’t been nagging me for his breakfast. My better-half surprised both the cat and me by getting up early and feeding him. NICE!
I made the journey into the dark recesses of my man-cave and posted my blog without too much editing. NICE AGAIN!
My better-half loudly entered my man-cave without written permission to let me know we’d be going shopping in ten minutes. OKAY BUT NOT SO NICE.
We arrive at the supermarket and all of my nice feelings started to fade. The place was packed with people all scurrying around which led me to believe that another “world ending” storm of “biblical proportions” might be approaching. My better-half who monitors weather reporting religiously immediately set me straight and we continued on the shopping safari. NOT NICE.
As always I was minding my own business and cruising the aisles when I made a wrong turn and my worst nightmare was realized. Just so you know I’m a bit claustrophobic. Not only was I trapped by groups of shoppers but someone nearby was really stinking up the place. I’ve smelled my share of BO but OMFG this was more than a little offensive. I pinpointed the man in question fairly easily because ten other customers were desperately trying to get the hell away from him in state of panic. He looked relatively normal, was nicely dressed, and appeared well groomed. To quote a M*A*S*H episode, “if you took a rotten egg and put it in a dirty sock and hid it under your bed for a week” would just about cover this guy’s aroma. His one obvious handicap was his own lack of a sense of smell. REALLY NOT NICE.
I escaped finally and finished my shopping but when I spotted that dude heading for the checkout register I gave him all the room I could. He made his way through the checkout line and stopped at the cashier. The faces being made and the nasty looks he received were blatantly obvious but had no noticeable effect on him. We made it back to our car and drove away. OKAY BUT STILL NOT NICE.
Arrived home. NICE!
Here’s a short blurb on last nights election results. My congratulations to the biased media in this country that spent four years campaigning and propagandizing for Obama. They ignored their constitutional responsibility to be fair and balanced and to be a serious political watchdog for the rest of the citizenry. Another first for America, the first Main Steam Media President.
Did you hear that? I just felt a huge thud as the power shifted from the political parties and electorate to the MSM. Now we finally know who the actual power brokers really are.
Good job America. Manipulated and screwed but still stupid enough to be cheering about it. You get what you deserve and brother do you deserve this President.
Well it’s election day, aren’t you excited? I don’t think so because I don’t know anybody that is. I’ve listened to talk radio today, local news on both radio and TV, and everybody’s “shoveling it” hard and fast. The liberal stations are telling me that Obama is the man and he’s going to kick Romney’s ass. The conservative stations are saying that Romney is the man and he’s going to kick Obama’s ass. If I had my druthers I’d like to take them both out behind the woodshed and kick both their asses.
The last two years has been been unbearable with the constant stream of biased propaganda from everyone under the sun. First off, both candidates should all be arrested for felony Criminal Annoyance and sentenced to 20 years locked in a cell with each other. That just might be what “cruel and unusual” is all about.
I’m not getting too excited until later this evening when the only thing that really matters takes place. The vote count. Everyone’s reciting poll results which are just so much hogwash. The polls always seem to reflect the opinion of the pollster whether liberal or conservative. If as many people in this country are as tired of the constant polling as I am, they’ll lie to any pollster just to be ornery. I’ve been polled a number of times by telephone over the last few years and I absolutely lied through my teeth every damn time. The vote is a secret in this country and I’d like to keep the tradition alive. I’m not telling a soul who or what I’m voting for or against, it’s none of their damn business. It’s a freaking secret ballot.
If I have one more person talk to me like I’m a some idiot wrapped in a moron and try to explain to me why the way I want to vote is incorrect, I could be persuaded to violence. So if there’s anyone out there who’s reading this who enjoys making phone calls for candidates and visiting homes to irritate the residents, here’s a little bit of advice. Stay the hell away from my home and don’t think about calling me again. You’ve spent two years preaching to me and I’m “burned out”.
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