As a former police officer, private investigator and interrogator, I do not believe in coincidences. But after years of collecting odd and strange stories from just about everywhere on the planet it’s hard for me not to change my opinion. There are many weird and strange things that occur, and some people call them serendipitous, and others call them coincidences, I just don’t know what the hell to call them. With that thought in mind you be the judge.
On December 5, 1664, the first event in the greatest series of coincidences in history occurred. On this date, a ship in the Menai Straight, off North Wales, sank with 81 passengers on board. There was one survivor, a man named Hugh Williams. On the same date in 1785, a ship sank in the Menai Straight with 60 passengers aboard. There was one survivor, a man named Hugh Williams. On the very same date in 1860 in exactly the same area, a ship sank with 25 passengers on board. There was one lone survivor, a man named Hugh Williams.
In Louisville, Kentucky, three family members died in the same spot, on different dates. A woman was hit by a car, an accident that she survived, but that killed her six-week-old daughter. A few years later, the same woman was killed approximately two blocks away as she jumped from a moving vehicle for an undisclosed reason. But cruel coincidence continued when 20 years later the woman’s 19-year-old son died on the same street when his motorcycle hit a car full of college students.
The wife of Ulysses S Grant awakened on April 14, 1865, with the intense sense that she and her husband should get out of Washington, DC, as soon as possible. They left that day, even though it meant standing up President Abraham Lincoln’s invitation to the theater. That’s why Grant was not killed by John Wilkes Booth that evening when the actor assassinated the president. Booth’s papers later revealed that Grant was on his hit list.
I know it’s been a while but here is installment number eleven to further assist you in the examination of your life. I hope these fifteen questions will prompt some interesting conversations between you and the person you share them with. As the famous Greek scholar Socrates once stated: “An unexamined life is not worth living.”
If you knew a thermonuclear holocaust would occur in precisely twenty years and no one would survive it, how would you change your present life?
When did you last cry in front of another person? by yourself?
If, by getting a 2″ x 2″ tattoo, you could save five lives and prevent a terrorist attack, would you do so? If you were allowed to select the location and design, where would you have it placed and what would the design be?
Someone you love deeply is brutally murdered and you know the identity of the murderer, who unfortunately is acquitted of the crime. Would you seek revenge?
Would you be willing to give up all television for the next five years if it would induce someone to provide for 1000 starving children in Indonesia?
*****
While arguing with a close friend on the telephone, she gets angry and hangs up. Assuming she is at fault and makes no attempt to contact you, how long would you wait to get in touch with her?
What do you value most in a relationship?
If you learned you would die in a few days, what regrets would you have? Were you given five extra years of life, could you avoid the same regrets five years hence?
Do you judge others by higher or lower standards than you use to judge yourself?
Would you be willing to make a substantial sacrifice to have any of the following: your picture on a postage stamp, your statue in a park, a college named after you, a Nobel prize, a national holiday in your honor?
*****
On an airplane you are talking pleasantly to a stranger of average appearance. Unexpectedly, the person offers you $10,000 for one night of sex. Knowing that there is no danger and that the payment is certain, would you accept the offer?
If you had to spend the next two years inside a small but fully provisioned Antarctic shelter with one other person, whom would you like to have with you?
You notice a self-destructive behavior pattern in a friend who is clearly unaware of it. Would you point it out?
If you had the choice of one intimate soulmate and no other close friends, or of no such soulmate and many friends and acquaintances, which would you choose?
You become involved romantically but after six months realize you need to end the relationship. If you were certain the person would commit suicide if you were to leave and were also certain you could not be happy with the person, what would you do?
Let me state categorically that I love baseball. I played it for many years and have many great memories from those times. The game has changed considerably in the last few years, and I think some of these new technological changes will probably please most fans and TV networks. I’ve always been complaining in recent years that watching baseball is like watching paint dry and with the addition of the pitch-clock it might just improve things, I hope. Today I’m going to reach back into the archives of the early years of the game for some stories you might enjoy. Here are two that made me smile.
A ground ball that takes a bad hop is an infielder’s nightmare. I have lots of scars and bruises of my own because of them so I know what I’m talking about. Once in a while injures do occur but it’s all part of the game. Fortunately, most bad-hop grounders aren’t nearly so serious.
In September 1948 the Boston Red Sox were at bat against the Philadelphia Athletics. They had Ted Williams on third and Billy Goodman at bat. Goodman hit a sharp, twisting grounder towards Philadelphia shortstop Eddie Joost. Joost got in front of the ball, but he couldn’t handle it. It hit his glove, ran up his arm and disappeared into the sleeve of his shirt. Joost dropped his glove and began to search all over for the ball. It was under and inside his shirt! He started to unbutton the shirt, but that just took too long. Finally, he pulled his shirttail out of his pants and the ball dropped out and rolled away. Goodman reached first safely and then stood on the bag, grinning. Ted Williams, who could’ve scored easily from third base, was still standing on the base, laughing too hard to run.
Because I’m a native of Pittsburgh I always look for humorous stories about Pittsburgh players and even their managers. This story takes care of both of those requirements because it involves Danny Murtaugh, who became a two-time National League Pennant winning manager for the Pirates. This story took place when he was playing for Houston in the minor leagues.
Murtaugh, as many other players, had his moments controlling his temper. During one of the Houston games Murtaugh was at bat with a three-and-two count. He took the next pitch which was a screaming fastball, a strike was called, and he was out. He lost his temper for a moment and tossed his bat high into the air above home plate. Unfortunately for Murtaugh the umpire had absolutely no sense of humor. “You’d better catch that bat before it lands or I’ll fine you $20.00,” the umpire roared. Murtaugh judged the flight and speed of the bat and caught it just before it hit the ground. It was said he’d never made a better catch in his life.
I’m a huge fan of statistics. No matter how you shake them out you can always get them to support your idea. I know because I’ve done it a few times myself and they made me look awfully smart. So, when I see information published and supported by statistics, I can’t wait to see how silly they are and how they might have been manipulated. Here are a few that made me smile.
You’re unlikely to kill yourself by attempting suicide. Fewer than one in twenty-five suicide attempts are successful unless your a senior citizen. They take it more serious with a success rate of one in four.
More than 70% of serious injuries at American colleges and universities are caused by cheerleading.
You have a better chance of being killed by a donkey than of dying in a plane crash.
You’re slightly more likely to die from a cave-in than from contact with tap water.
It’s more likely you will die from your pajamas catching fire than from the bite of a venomous spider.
Mosquitos are the deadliest animal on earth causing human deaths at 600,000 per year.
More people are killed each year by freshwater snails than by salt-water crocodiles.
You’re slightly more likely to drown in a bathtub than to die from electrocution.
More than 100 billion (give or take a few million) people have died in the history of the world.
And last a really stupid death. Cynthia was a topless dancer who died while performing her famous act of jumping out of a cake. Unfortunately, the cake was well constructed and apparently airtight. Cynthia suffocated after waiting 90 minutes to surprise the lucky groom.
I’ve always been a people watcher and loved nothing more than to talk to someone I’ve never met before. People interest me primarily because I made my living talking to them. I was at times surprised and shocked by some of their attempts to communicate with me, either on the phone, in person, or in their writings. I was cleaning out some old files recently and came upon a handwritten resume I received for a job I’d posted for a multi-state investigator position (many years ago). The job had quite a bit of responsibility for multiple locations in a number of surrounding states. Needless to say, I needed someone absolutely trustworthy. I’ll type the body of this resume I received because the handwriting was god-awful. My question to you is: Would you have hired this person to secure your business, home, family or belongings?
Here are excerpts from one of the strangest resumes I’ve ever received. I’ve tried to correct some of the many spelling and grammar errors, or you wouldn’t be able to understand much of this at all. Read on.
***
As I answer your advertisement in the newspaper, I would like to tell you something about myself. And of my background. I am not Hispanic! I was married and divorced from a Spaniard and never remarried. I have military and police corrections background. I also have approximately 23 years of retail sales experience, having worked for a number of the larger well-known department stores.
I have traveled extensively over the U.S.A. I grew up in a white ghetto, married a newsman, work in a hospital as a CSR tech. I study law as a hobby but not in the classroom, although I do have two years of college.
I know street language, jail jargon, drug language, petty theft, organized crime and white-collar crime. I do not know much about ballistics.
Because of my background, my Social Security number is being used by four or five people for fraud. That makes it difficult for me to find work. I have never been arrested, charged, or anything similar to it. But the ones using my Social Security numbers have various backgrounds.
I qualify for the for the newly emerging veterans training program, on-the-job training. My salary would be open to negotiations. I look forward to hearing from you.
Thank you,
Sincerely and as always, I’m just a gal named Gus
(I can and will relocate or travel)
***
After attempting to read and understand the resume, I contacted the local authorities and much to my surprise she was well known in the area as a questionable individual (and not in a good way). I actually responded to her letter to let her know I was running a background check with local police. It came as no surprise to me that she never responded. The refusal letter came back unclaimed.
I’m feeling especially nostalgic today and I’m not sure exactly why. I do enjoy looking back to times that make me smile or laugh out loud which brings me immediately back to the 1990’s. I’m going to relive a few things concerning the 42nd President, Wild Bill Clinton, and his charming yet annoying pant-suited wife Hilary. I admit that Joe Biden is something of an idiot but not in a good way. Clinton was up front about most of his idiotic proclivities because we all knew he was just a six-foot-tall penis looking for a place to play. Also, being married to Hilary garnered him a great deal of sympathy from both the Right and the Left. As a couple they were the best targets for ridicule in decades. Never let it be said that I didn’t give an appropriate mention of his favorite cigar toting pal, Monica Lewinsky (the human humidifier).
Here are a few interesting quotes that will bring back all of the memories of those disturbing years.
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Bill, referring to an excavated Incan mummy.
“You know, if I were a single man, I might ask that mummy out. That’s a good looking mummy!”
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Bill, after receiving the Romanian flag while visiting there.
“Thanks for the poncho.”
***
Bill, on the UN operation in Bosnia.
“It has not worked. No one can say it has worked, so I decided that we’re either going to do what we said we’re going to do with the UN, or we’re going to do something else.”
***
Now for a couple pearls of wisdom from his loving yet understanding better-half.
“I’m not going to have some reporters pawing through our papers. We are the President.”
***
“Give Bill a second term, and Al Gore and I will be turned loose to do what we really want to do.”
Rumor has it that yesterday was opening day for baseball. I absolutely love the game, but it’s been difficult at times to watch because I kept falling asleep and missing the best parts of the alleged action. It’s just so damn boring at times. Hopefully the new rule changes will speed things up a little but I’m always skeptical about new and unproven experiments. A pitch-count may work but I feel they shouldn’t use it during the final inning. We’ll find out soon enough if it is everything we’re being told it is. Along that same line, I look forward someday to the elimination of the home plate umpire entirely and of their questionable calls and all the drama they create. Bring on the new computer-generated home plate umpire.
Here are two pieces of baseball trivia for you.
In 1903 the first World Series was held between the Boston Americans (American League) and the Pittsburgh Pirates (National League) in a best-of-nine game series. Boston won the game and five years later rebranded themselves the Boston Red Sox.
Did you know that the first recorded game of baseball was between The New York Nine and the New York Knickerbockers in 1846. The Nine won the game 23 to 1. By 1857 the New York area clubs were playing baseball under the auspices of the National Association of Base Ball Players (NABBP), the sports very first governing body.
I was wondering to myself if the response to this posting will be affected by the unusual title. I guess I’ll have my answer sometime tomorrow, but nothing would really surprise me. It’s just my sneaky way of beginning a post on religion. I’m not a big fan as you would already know if you’ve read this blog in the past. I have a friend or two that are true believers, and this is my subtle way of expressing my thoughts on the subject. Many religious folks enjoy using their religions sacred writings to make their points with me, but I find that a bit ludicrous. To take those documents as the literal word of some god is frightening in its naivete. Here are a few blurbs from various religions to help me make my point once again.
According to the Bible If your wife defends your life in a fight by grabbing your attackers genitals, you should cut off your wife’s hand and have no pity on her.
If robbers came to your house while you were having guests, it’s better to offer up your two virgin daughters to the robbers than for your guests to come to any harm.
The proper way to seal a deal in the Bible is to exchange sandals.
More than 60% of Americans think the story of Noah’s Ark is literal truth.
It is better to dwell alone in the desert than at home with a nagging and complaining wife. (Proverbs 21:19)
More than 46% of Americans believe God created humans in their present form, at one time, within the last 10,000 years.
God has commanded Mormons to avoid coffee and tea.
On the eve of Yom Kippur, some observant Jews swing live chickens over their head three times to atone for their sins. It’s called kaparos.
If you want to sleep with your brother’s wife, it’s better to masturbate – or better yet, to pull out early and ejaculate on the ground, in order to avoid getting her pregnant.
Men should not shave any parts of their head and beards.
May the Lord bless everyone who beats your children against the rocks. (Psalm 137:9)
Mormons believe that the Garden of Eden was located in northern Missouri.
Unfortunately I won’t be blogging about April Fool’s Day pranks but if you must know I was a hardworking, inventive, dedicated, and persistent prankster for most of my life. Enjoy the day and prank as many people as you can. It’s just so very satisfying.
I thought I would also post a number of trivia items that you normally wouldn’t see. My feeling is the more obscure the better. Here we go . . .
Most healthy adults can go without eating for a month or longer. But they must drink at least two quarts of water a day.
The Romans were so fond of eating mice that the upper classes raised them domestically. The rodents were kept in specially designed cages and fed a mixture of assorted nuts.
When tea was first introduced in the American colonies, many housewives, in their ignorance, served the tea leaves with sugar or syrup after throwing away the water in which they had been boiled.
The modern dinner plate is a fairly recent development. Until the fifteenth century, it was customary to eat on a thick slice of stale bread, called a “trencher,” that soaked up the juice.
At the St. Louis World’s Fair in 1904, Richard Blechynden, an Englishman, had a tea concession. On one very hot day none of the fairgoers were interested in hot tea. In a desperate attempt for business, he served the tea cold – and invented iced tea.
Kernels of popcorn were found in the graves of pre-Columbian Indians.
To celebrate in 537 AD, the dedication of the new church, Hagia Sofia – Emperor Justinian held a banquet that caused the slaughtering of more than 10,000 sheep, oxen, swine, poultry, and deer.
To make one pound of honey, bees must collect nectar from approximately two million flowers.
Actual geniuses are rare. While most people hold them in awe after their deaths, they’re lives are sometimes difficult and a little strange. They are usually so involved with their projects and inventions, that everything else is no longer something that interests them. Many are anti-social and virtual recluses. There always seems to be a balance of sorts. Super intelligence balanced with a lack of social graces or concerns with others. It’s a terrible price to pay. Here are a few trivia tidbits of some of our better-known geniuses.
Thomas Edison established an “invention factory” with the hope of producing one new invention every ten days. In one four year period he obtained 300 patents, or one every five days. In all he patented nearly 1300 inventions.
Alexander Graham Bell was working to improve the telegraph when he invented the telephone.
Charles Dickens believed that to get a really good night’s sleep the bed must be aligned north to south. In this manner, he thought, the magnetic currents would flow straight through the recumbent body.
The botanist, George Washington Carver, who is best known for his pioneering work with peanuts, developed 536 dyes when experimenting with plant leaves, fruits, stems, and roots.
Ben Franklin
Margaret Mead’s first foray into the observation of human behavior occurred before she was a teenager. As a young person of eight or nine years, she recorded the patterns of speech of her younger sisters.
Ben Franklin was cautious in performing his famous kite experiment in which he charged a Leyden jar with electricity drawn from the clouds. The first two men who tried to duplicate his experiment were electrocuted.
Lewis Carroll, by his own account, wrote 98,721 letters in the last thirty-seven years of his life.
There was an intention in 1912 of giving a Nobel Prize jointly to Nickola Tesla and Thomas Edison. Both were deserving of the honor but Tesla refused because of his intense dislike of Edison. The Nobel Prize was instead given to a Swedish inventor of lesser merit.
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