Archive for the ‘Looking Back’ Category
It’s painfully obvious to me that the month of February is boring. The craziest solution to liven up February is to assign ridiculous holidays and commemorative days to keep us all from diving off the nearest bridge. The following list is only a portion of the things assigned to February.
February 1, 2023 – National Freedom Day
February 2, 2023 – Groundhog Day
February 9, 2023 – National Pizza Day
February 12, 2023 – Lincoln’s Birthday
February 12, 2023 – Super Bowl 2023 / Super Bowl LVII
February 14, 2023 – St. Valentine’s Day
February 9-20, 2023 – Chicago Auto Show
February 20, 2023 – Washington’s Birthday / Presidents’ Day
February 21, 2023 – Mardi Gras Carnival in New Orleans, LA
February 21, 2023 – Fat Tuesday / Shrove Tuesday, Day before Lent
February 22, 2023 – Ash Wednesday
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That being said, here is a reposting of mine concerning Ground Hog Day and the insanity of living in western Pennsylvania.
This holiday means only one thing in Pennsylvania and that is the appearance of our old friend ‘Punxatawney Phil’ on Gobbler’s Knob. He’s scheduled to show his furry little face on the second of February every year to let us know whether we’ll have six more weeks of winter.
To reminisce a bit, way too many years ago I was a rookie state police trooper in Pennsylvania. To a newbie that means getting stuck with every crappy police detail they can find for you. One of the crappier of those was being sent to Punxatawney to guard “Phil” and for crowd control in and around Gobbler’s Knob. I thought they were kidding but they weren’t.
A few of us rookies were ordered to make the trek to Punxatawney, PA along with a veteran sergeant who must have lost the coin toss. We arrived in our cleanest and well pressed uniforms, met with all of the local politicians, and then were introduced to ‘Phil”’. He was cordial enough for a stupid gopher, but we were well advised to keep our hands away from him. He was a touch cranky and known to nip off a finger or two if provoked.
Believe it or not the crowds were huge. I’ve never understood why every local politician from miles around flocks to that ceremony. I guess they’re just hoping to get some free TV facetime or maybe even an interview with some of the local media. I met some mayors, some councilmen, and a few political hacks which unfortunately weren’t even as interesting as meeting ‘Phil’.
The only good thing I experienced that day was a rather buxom news reporter from a nearby town who took an immediate liking to my manly stature and my pretty uniform. She was much less furry than ‘Phil’ which was a plus and she also paid for my dinner. She even convinced me that dating her was the right thing to do. So, I did.
It’s sad to say but we all know any relationship built upon a Groundhog Day Ceremony was doomed from the start. She couldn’t understand why I didn’t care to drive to Punxatawney (a three hour round trip) every weekend. I finally explained to her that long distance relationships just never work out no matter what. It wasn’t her it was me. I dragged out all of the old clichés I could remember and disappeared from her life.
FEBRUARY IS NUTS!!
SO ARE PENNSYLVANIANS
Here’s a collection of peculiar trivia mixed in with some interesting quotes from somewhat interesting people. It’s a good way to start your somewhat interesting work week. Have fun . . .
“Beautiful young people are accidents of nature, but beautiful old people are works of art.” Eleanor Roosevelt
- In the spring of 1930, the Senate almost voted to ban all dial telephones from the Senate wing of the Capital, as the technophobic older senators found them too complicated to use.
- Commercial deodorant became available in 1888. Roll-on deodorant was an invented in the 1950s, using technology from standard ballpoint pens.
- Before Popeye, Olive Oyl’s boyfriend was named Ham Gravy.
- Three presidents died on the 4th of July: Thomas Jefferson, John Adams, and James Monroe.
- The world goes through approximately 1.75 billion candy canes every year.
“The only place success comes before work is in the dictionary.” Vince Lombardi
- Like plants, children grow faster during spring than any other season.
- The aboriginal body consists of approximately 71 pounds of intentionally edible meat, not including organ tissue.
- British geologist William Buckland was known for his ability to eat anything, including rodents and insects. When presented with the heart of French King Louis XIV, he gobbled it up without hesitation.
- Male lions are able to make 50 or more times in a single day. Tell your husband.
- It took more than 1700 years to build the Great Wall of China.
“Carpe per diem“– means seize the check – so says Robin Williams
- In an ironic twist, Mel Blanc, best known as the voice of Bugs Bunny, had an aversion to raw carrots.
- Australian toilets are designed to flush counterclockwise.
- Mr. Potato Head holds the honor of being the first toy ever featured in a television commercial.
- If you add up all the time you blink during the day, you’d have about half an hour of shut-eye.
- John Lennon was the first person to be featured on the cover of Rolling Stone magazine.
“If slaughterhouses had glass walls, everyone would be a vegetarian.” Paul McCartney
SEIZE THE DAY
I thought I’d introduce you to something new today. I’ve posted hundreds of limericks over the years, and they were all basically the five-line standard. Another style of limerick is the extended limerick which are a bit longer than you normally see and more challenging to write. Here are two samples:
By Anonymous
There once were two cats of Kilkenny.
Each thought there was one too many,
So, they quarreled and fit,
They scratched and they bit,
Till, excepting their nails
And the tips of their tails,
Instead of two cats, there weren’t any!
😛😛😛
By Anonymous
There was a strange student from Yale.
Who put himself outside the pale.
Said the judge:” Please refrain,
When passing through Maine,
From exposing yourself in in the train,
Or you’ll just have to do it in jail!”
😗😗😗
In my opinion they aren’t as exciting as a normal limerick, but many people disagree. Now let’s take a look at what’s called a prose limerick. It’s a totally different style but I enjoy these very much because of the narrative way they are written.
By Anonymous
When cars are left here for repair, our charges are modest and fair. And
owners may rest quite content that we test all work that is done with great care.
😊😊😊
In the shed at the end of the mews there’s a bucket of old bolts and screws, and
right at the back you will see a large stack of old junk that perhaps you can use.
🤩🤩🤩
The train that was due to depart at 8:10 is not likely to start. We’re
working to rule, you’d best get a mule or a bike or a horse and a cart.
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TRY WRITING A FEW OF YOUR OWN
I’m a former vet who proudly served. Since then, I’ve maintained an interest in all things military. As much as all of the new high-tech equipment is interesting, I still lean towards the past history of wars and warfare. It’s always good to know all of the small details of warfare to give you an accurate picture of why wars occurred and what steps had to be taken to end them.
- The Spartans used a staff and a coil of paper to keep military messages from being decoded if they fell into the hands of the enemy. Rolled around the staff, the words fit together and made sense. Unrolled, the paper was covered with gibberish. Each general had a carefully guarded staff of precisely the same diameter around which to roll the paper and read the message.
- During World War II, the Federal Bureau of investigation secretly established a house of male prostitution in New York’s Greenwich Village. The house staffed multilingual agents for the purpose of extracting import shipping information from foreign sailors. The FBI later claimed it had been a very successful operation.
- By the end of World War II, there wasn’t a German spy in Great Britain who was not under British control. All either were cooperating with the British while maintaining their German “alliance” or had been caught and “turned around”.
- During World War II, the United States Navy had a world champion chess player, Reuben Fine, calculate on the basis of positional probability where enemy submarines might surface. Dr. Fine said, it worked out all right.
- The Federal Bureau of Investigation captured eight German saboteurs shortly after they came ashore from a U-boat off eastern Long Island in 1942. Six were executed and two imprisoned. It turns out that one of those imprisoned, the expedition’s leader, was an anti-Nazi and had tipped off the FBI. He was promised that he be jailed for only six months, but he got instead, a 90-year prison term.
- Bismarck tricked the French into the Franco-Prussian War by altering a telegram from the King of Prussia. He struck out the king’s consolatory words, so that the telegram sounded belligerent. The result was what the Iron Chancellor had intended, a French declaration of war, followed by a German victory.
- Mata Hari, the Dutch-Javanese dancer who became the most famous spy of World War I, ordered that a suit be especially tailored for her for the occasion of her execution by a French firing squad. She also wore a new pair of white gloves.
WAR IS HELL, BUT PEACETIME IS A MOTHER F**KER
The snow has finally stopped here in Maine, and I just finished blowing my driveway clear for the fourth time since yesterday afternoon. I sure hope that we get a break before the next one hits. Maybe the next storm will hold off long enough for my bruised ass cheeks to heal. I’m crossing my fingers . . .
How about a little fun wordplay today. I’ve always loved palindromes and here are a few of my favorites:
NO LEMONS, NOMELON
STEP ON NO PETS
ED IS LOOPY POOLSIDE
MADAM, I’M ADAM
RATS LIVE ON NO EVIL STAR
How are you with tongue twisters? The rumor that women can say them better than men just might be true.
SAM SHAVED SEVEN SHY SHEEP
NAT’S KNAPSACK STRAP SNAPPED
A PROPER COPPER COFFEE POT
FRED’S FRIEND FRAN FLIPS FINE FLAPJACKS FAST
A SKUNK SAT ON A STUMP.
THE STUMP THUNK THE SKUNK STUNK
THE SKUNK THUNK THE STUMP STUNK
Here are a few words that have faded from use, and you’ll see why. Do you still use any of them or know someone who does?
BEES KNEES – “cool”.
BESOT – “give”
SHAN’T – “will not”
THITHER – “over there”
ZOUNDS – “surprise”
EWER – “water pitcher”
DAPPER – “fancy dresser”
If you want to have some fun, use a few of these words when speaking or texting your friends.
Living in northern New England requires a certain amount of love for snow. Skiers, skaters, snow boarders, and sledders love it here. Unfortunately, I’m none of those. I’m too clumsy for any winter sports. My favorite winter sport consists of a comfortable stool in a comfortable bar with a huge picture window looking out at the bottom of the ski run. The only way I could be injured under those circumstances is if some amateur skier loses control, crashes through the window, and knocks me off my stool. I can’t be too careful around here with all these snow bunnies and snow freaks running loose among us. I was up this morning a 4:30 am snow blowing my driveway. I just came in from the second trip because this damn snow just keeps falling. I thought I’d pass along some weather-related trivia to save me from losing my mind.
- New Hampshire’s Mount Washington, located just a stone’s throw from this house is only 6288 feet in altitude, is often considered to have the worst weather in the world. The highest wind velocity ever recorded on Earth, 231 mi./h, swept across the summit of Mount Washington in April of 1934. More than 30 people have died there as a result of sudden changes in the weather.
- Continental snow cover would advance to the equator, and the oceans would eventually freeze, if there were a permanent drop of just 1.6% to 2% in energy reaching the earth.
- Because air is denser in cold weather, a wind of the same speed exerts 25% more force during the winter than it does during the summer.
- Gigantic snowfalls may be crippling to big cities, but at least in New York City they have a tendency to fall mainly on the day’s most convenient for the urban population. A study of the biggest snows in the last 68 years shows that 54% of them fall on a Friday or Sunday when the cleanup can be accomplished with minimal inconvenience to those millions who must go to work and school.
- In 1816, there was no summer in many areas of the world. In parts of New England, snow stayed on the ground all year. Crops there and in Europe were ruined. Volcanic dust from the eruption of Tomboro in Indonesia blocked the rays of the sun and was blamed for the unusual weather as well as for the red and brown snow that fell in the United States, Hungary, and Italy.
I’d love to chat A little more, but Mother Nature insists on filling my driveway with more snow. I’ll be snow blowing a few more times before this day is over.
MOTHER NATURE SUCKS!
I’ve spent the last three years of my life immersed in our medical systems and believe me I’m not complaining. Our healthcare systems are almost certainly overpriced but since they’ve kept me alive for the last three years, I don’t mind so much. Another plus for me is that I’ve had more time than I ever thought possible to read and digest ten tons of medical jargon and terminology. Am I any smarter? Probably not, but I picked up a boatload of trivia and useless information that I feel obligated to pass onto you. Here are some facts you probably never wanted to know but what the hell, here they are anyway
Did You Know . . .
- There are more than 2 million sweat glands (estimated 2,381,248) on the skin of an average human, according to Gray’s anatomy.
- The technical name for a human armpit is the axilla.
- If you ever see a human being with uncontrollable winking of the eyes, they are exhibiting symptoms of blepharospasms.
- The only bone in the human body that is not connected to another bone is in the throat, at the back of the tongue. It is a horseshoe shaped bone called the hyoid.
- The largest organ in the human body by weight are the lungs. Together they weigh approximately 42 ounces. The right lung is 2 ounces heavier than the left, and the lungs of males are heavier than the female.
- Could you find your buccal cavity? It’s not a trick question, that is the terminology used for the inside of your mouth.
- Were you aware that the epidermis, the outer layer of skin, replaces itself every four weeks.
- The kidney was the first organ ever transplanted. The operation was by Dr. Richard H Lawler in 1956. His patient Ruth Tucker, lived for five years with her new kidney.
- Did you know there are approximately 45 miles of nerves in the adult human body?
- The average lifespan of a human being’s tastebud is from 7 to 10 days.
HUMAN BODY’S ARE AMAZING – THE PEOPLE UNFORTUNEATELY ARE NOT
“The unexamined life is not worth living.” Socrates
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Welcome to installment number seven. These questions appear a little harder to answer simply. Only a frank discussion will bring the answers, both good and bad. Have fun . . .
- Would you rather play a game with someone more or less talented as you? Would it matter who’s watching?
- Is there something you’ve dreamed of doing for a long time? Why haven’t you done it?
- While in the government, you discover the President is committing extortion and other serious crimes. By exposing the situation, you might bring about the President’s downfall, but your career would be destroyed because you would be framed, fired, and suffer public humiliation on other matters. Knowing you would be vindicated five years later; would you blow the whistle? What if you knew you would never be vindicated?
- On a busy street you are approached apologetically by a well-dressed stranger who asks for a dollar to catch a bus and make a phone call. He says he has lost his wallet. What would you do? If approached in the same way by a haggard looking stranger claiming to be hungry and unable to find a job, what would you do?
- If by sacrificing your life you could contribute so much to the world that you would be honored in all nations, would you be willing to do so? If so, would you make the same sacrifice knowing that someone you thoroughly disliked would receive the honor while you went unrecognized?
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- Knowing you had a 50% chance of winning and would be paid 10 times the amount of your bet if you won, what fraction of what you now own would you be willing to wager?
- What are your most compulsive habits? Do you regularly struggled to break these habits?
- You know you will die of an incurable disease within three months. Would you allow yourself to be frozen within the week if you knew it would give you a modest chance of being revived in 1000 years and living a greatly extended life?
- You are driving late at night in a safe but deserted neighborhood when a dog suddenly darts in front of your car. Though you slam on the brakes, you hit the animal. Would you stop to see how injured the animal was? If you did so and found that the dog was dead but had a name tag, would you contact the owner?
- What do you most strive for in your life: accomplishment, security, love, power, excitement, knowledge, or something else?
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- An eccentric millionaire offers to donate a large sum to charity if you will step completely naked from a car onto a busy downtown street, walk four blocks, and climb back into the car. Knowing that there would be no danger of physical abuse, would you do it?
- How close and warm is your family? Do you feel your childhood was happier than most other people?
- Is the fact that you have never done something before increase or decrease its appeal to you?
- Would you be willing to give up sex for five years if you could have wonderfully sensual and erotic dreams any night you wished?
- At a meal, your friends start belittling a common acquaintance. If you felt their criticisms were unjustified, would you defend the person?
*****
THE QUESTIONS KEEP GETTING MORE INTERESTING
I thought I’d pander to my readership today since so many of you love information about celebrities and Hollywood and blah, blah, blah. I won’t be writing too much on the current list of celebrities that everyone seems to adore but will step back into the near past for some actual interesting trivia. I don’t care who they’re currently dating, I don’t care what they have to say about anything, and least of all who they might or might not be sleeping with. I find historical trivia when it comes to the Entertainment industry much more interesting. Here we go . . .
- The American chemist Robert Hare discovered that a blow pipe flame acting upon a block of calcium oxide, which is lime, produces a brilliant white light that can be used to illuminate theater stages. We speak of someone who faces the glare of publicity as being in the “limelight”.
- In the mid-1960’s, the motion picture director-producer Stanley Kubrick wanted from Lloyds of London an insurance policy protecting against losses should extraterrestrial intelligences be discovered before completion and release of his far-out motion picture 2001: A Space Odyssey. Lloyds declined.
- By 1929, two years after the introduction of the “talkies”, motion pictures in the United States were attracting 100 million patrons every week.
- Northwestern University once conferred an honorary degree on a dummy of the wooden variety. On ventriloquist Edgar Bergen’s dummy, Charlie McCarthy.
- The English indirectly owe the preservation of Shakespeare’s birthplace to P. T. Barnum. In 1850’s, the Stratford-on-Avon cottage was neglected, and Barnum began to negotiate to acquire the house and have it shipped to his museum. The English were horrified and banded together to buy it and turned it into a national monument.
- In the 1920’s and 1930’s, Charlie Chaplin was probably the most celebrated man in the world. During a visit to his native London, the motion picture comedian received 73,000 letters in just two days.
- Acting was once considered so frivolous an occupation that authorities in Virginia, in 1610, forbade immigration of actors from England. Because of the evils that were thought to be associated with the craft, the cast of the first English play in colonial America in 1665 was arrested in Virginia, but later acquitted.
- The stellar cataclysm in the motion picture 2001: A Space Odyssey was filmed by Stanley Kubrick in an abandoned corset factory in New York City. The cataclysm was a close-up shot of paint dripping in a bucket.
- There are songs in all of Shakespeare’s plays except for Comedy of Errors. That play was the basis for a Broadway musical in 1938 that won the Pulitzer Prize: The Boys from Syracuse, by Richard Rogers and Larry Hart.
- In 1957, Frank Sinatra was quoted as describing “rock-and-roll” as “funny and false and written and played for the most part by cretinous goons”. But when Elvis Presley finished his Army stint three or so years later, Sinatra paid him $125,000 to appear for 6 minutes on a television special.
GOTTA LOVE HOLLYWOOD . . . RIGHT?
In my younger days I spent a great deal of time wandering through the graveyards of Southern Massachusetts. I’ve always liked cemeteries and some of the oldest graves in the country can be found in and around the Plymouth area. Say what you want about the Pilgrims, but they brought their love of catchy epithets from the old country, and they are some of the best. I spent many hours sketching cemeteries and painting a number of interesting oil paintings which allowed me to sit for hours in a quiet and serene place. Here is a small collection of epithets from this country and others.
From Church Stretton, Shropshire, England
On Thursday she was born,
On a Thursday she made a bride,
On a Thursday put to bed,
On a Thursday broke her leg, and
On a Thursday died.
💀💀💀
From a churchyard in Oxfordshire, England
Here lies the body of John Eldred,
At least, he will be when he’s dead.
But now at this time he is alive,
The 14th of August, Sixty-five.
💀💀💀
From Middlefield, Massachusetts
Old Thomas Mulvaney lies here.
His mouth ran from ear to ear.
Reader, tread lightly on this wonder,
For if he yawns, you’re gone to thunder.
💀💀💀
From Keeseville, New York
Here lies a man of good repute.
Who wore a No. 16 boot.
Tis not recorded how he died,
But sure, it is, that open wide,
The gates of heaven must have been,
To let such monstrous feet within.
💀💀💀
From Chelmsford, Essex, England
Here lies the man Richard,
And Mary his wife.
Their surname was Pritchard,
They lived without strife.
And the reason was plain,
They abounded in riches,
They had no care or pain,
And his wife wore the breeches.
💀💀💀
Here’s a favorite from a grave in Winslow, Maine and proves that short and sweet is always the best.
Here lies the body of John Mound
Lost at sea and never found.
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NOW, SIT DOWN AND WRITE YOUR OWN
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