Archive for the ‘mid-year review’ Tag

05/18/2023 💥💥New Years Resolution Update💥💥   Leave a comment

It’s that time again for a New Years Resolution update. With June approaching soon, let’s call this my mid-year review. In past years I’ve stumbled repeatedly with only moderate successes. I hope 2023 has better results but let’s just see.

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Read 8.33 books a month (That’s 100 books for all of you math majors out there). Kindle has advised me that I’ve finished 48 books so far this year. I’m on track to make this a really successful reading year.

Keep the number of F-Bombs to less than a hundred a week. (I’m dreaming on this one.) I’ve done better with this resolution than expected. I’ve been confined to my home for the last three months with minimal contact with friends and family. We all know and understand that it’s the other people in our lives that helps to create F-Bombs, so I’m looking good for 2023 (so far).

Spend less than $50.00 a week on Dunkin. (That’s mostly for my better-half. They’re too expensive for me.) Again, my three-month confinement is saving me a boat load of Dunkin expenditures. The only person suffering is my better-half.

Drink less alcohol than last year but more than next year. (I’m dreaming!) What was I thinking? This one never had a chance.

Visit only the classiest porn sites. (No more than 10 per week unless provoked) This is another failure. Everyone knows that ten porn sites can easily be perused in under ten minutes. I truly set myself up to fail and trust me, I’ve failed miserably (you can’t see this huge smile on my face). It’s the smile of a happy and excited loser.

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No naked dancing near the picture window in the living room. (We have nervous neighbors!) I’m sure my neighbors are missing my fantastic dance routines and to them I apologize. It’s tough for me to “kick up my heels” while using a wheelchair, a walker, or a cane. Never fear, I should be healed by Labor Day and the show must go on.

Try not to argue with my better-half too much. (The operative word here is to try) This was doomed to immediate failure.

Teach the grandsons no more than five new swear words. (Or maybe learn one or two new ones from them.) I received a real surprise on this one. It seems that both of them have been picking up the lingo from other sources (internet, school, and friends). The ten-year-old actually asked me if I knew what the “F” word was. I immediately denied any knowledge of that bad word because I knew if I admitted anything, he’d rush home and rat me out to his mother. I still have a chance to have some success here. Five swear words in 6 months . . . easy-peasy.

Try to be more polite to all of the doctors that have been manhandling me for years. This one is difficult. Telling doctors anything is like “pissing into the wind” and that tends to make me really impolite at times.

Stay vertical. So far so good.

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ENJOY YOUR SUMMER

Score for 2023 (so far) – 6 Maybe’s, 4-No’s

Posted May 18, 2023 by Every Useless Thing in Bitch & Complain, Education, Entertainment, History, Humor, Kill Me, I'm Begging You, Looking Back, Quotations, Sarcasm, Trivia

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07-08-2015 Mid-Year Review, 2015 Resolutions!   3 comments

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I’m writing this mid-year review of my New Year’s resolutions and it seems I’m doing a little better than I’ve done in the past.  Just as an FYI, here’s a copy of the disclaimer I used after completing  my review of 2014’s resolutions.

“Four completed out of seven seems pretty good to me but I need to improve that next year. I’d really like just once to complete all of them but I always seem to get sidetracked with other stuff.  I may need a few easy ones for 2015 that won’t require me to work so hard. With that thought in mind here is my new list.”

Here we go with this year’s results, so far.

  • I vow to exercise for forty-one minutes every other day for the entire year.

A: COMPLETED, I actually increased my time to forty-three minutes per session.

  • I vow to call President Obama nasty names only during months with an "R" in them.

A: COMPLETED, This one was easy.

  • I further vow to never say anything good about President Obama in months without an "R".

A: COMPLETED: This one was even easier.

  • I vow to never blurt out any F-Bombs in front of the grandson now that he’s started repeating damn near everything.

A: COMPLETED, Believe it or not I’ve been extra good with this. With the birth of a second grandson I will now remain F-Bomb free for at least another year and a half.

  • I vow to say many more F-Bombs around those people (except the grandsons) who irritate, annoy or piss me off.

A: COMPLETED, and still going strong.

  • I vow to stop flirting with just anyone.  There are times when I feel like such a slut and that’s not a good thing for my self esteem.

A: INCOMPLETE, It’s hard to break this one semi-bad habit but I’m trying.

  • For the third year in a row I vow not to prance naked anywhere near the front picture window.  It creeps out the neighbors and one or two of our regular joggers.

A: INCOMPLETE BUT IMPROVED, I no longer feel the least bit tempted to prance even after receiving a number of rather nice emails from my anonymous admirers.

  • I also vow not to screw with my cat as much this year due to his advanced age and sharp claws.

A: INCOMPLETE, I have a few new scars but he really deserves being messed with.

  • I vow to take at least 500 really good photographs a month.

a: INCOMPLETE, I’m averaging just over 400 and I hope to make up some ground this summer.

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So far this year I’m well on my way to accomplishing five resolutions out of nine. I’ll be working hard for the next six months to get my numbers up and in line with my predictions (eternal optimism is not my strong suit).

If I ever complete all of my resolutions in a given year it will be an effing miracle and the world will come to an end.

Posted July 9, 2015 by Every Useless Thing in Bitch & Complain, Humor, Journal, Sarcasm

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