Archive for the ‘brandy’ Tag

11-10-2015 Journal–My Favorite Addictions!   Leave a comment

th

I’m one of those boring people who feels the need to constantly examine my life.  I look at my past and judge myself, I look at my present and judge myself, and finally I look at my possible futures and judge that too. Also if I’m given the opportunity I’ll judge you as well. So not only am I a borderline addictive personality I’m a bit judgmental.

thF5V13JI4

I’ve always suspected I had issues with addiction but never tried to delve into the why’s and wherefores until now. My list of addictions is long and began back when I was just an newborn infant. Here’s my list from my formative years in no particular order of importance:

Breathing

Breasts

Breast milk

Diapers

I was able to finally work through those minor addictions without the assistance of an expensive rehab program. I was well on my way to puberty where my list began to grow and become more interesting. 

Breasts

Legs

Butts

Pornography

Sex

Puberty not only changed me physically but also intellectually. I understood at age thirteen that these addictions unlike my toddler list would likely become permanent.  And guess what? I was somewhat correct. I resigned myself to learning to live with my addictions and to make the best of them. It was a dirty job but I stepped up and made the required personality adjustments to deal with them.

thSRFIZL8D

My teen years were interesting and a little frightening. My list again changed but was still manageable:

Sex

Breasts

Legs

French Blondes

Cigarettes

Beer

Pornography

College brought more changes and not all of them good. As the list increased so did my stress levels as you can plainly see:

Sex

Oral Sex

Brunettes

Blondes

Red Heads

Breasts

Beer

Whiskey

Marijuana

Wine

I learned a lot in those years but realized my life was in a rut so I dropped out of college and enlisted in the Army one step ahead of the draft board. This began another long, interesting, and scary adventure. Once more my list expanded a bit:

Sex

Oral sex

Oriental Women

Black Hair

Whiskey

Coffee

Cigarettes

Beer

Marijuana

Speed

Adrenaline

Wine

I returned home a few years later, much wiser and a much less addicted person. I was able to rid myself of many of my stupid addictions over the next two decades. Here are the final results after many years of really hard work:

Any Sex

Breasts

Coffee

Reading

Photography

Computers

Chocolate

Wine

Exercise

As you can see most of the exciting addictions in my life have slowly faded away.  They were fun while they lasted but were discarded when they became dangerous or harmful.  I’m now a much wiser and more boring person and I have to admit as I sit here quietly judging myself, I miss some of them a lot. 

thKAQJCRSK

My list is certainly smaller but less dangerous and easily managed now. I expect this final list will remain with me forever. 

The only addiction that stayed with me from infancy to the present day are “Breasts”. There’s no rehab programs to help me deal with them and I’m pretty happy about that. So thanks again Mom for the one lifelong addiction I’ve enjoyed the most and will continue to enjoy until the lid slams shut. I’d love to see the 12 step program for that addiction.

I know one thing for sure, I’d never miss a meeting.

07-01-2014 Journal Entry – Vacation Week & Weirdo’s!   2 comments

If I sound a little happy today there’s a good reason.  I just dropped my better-half at the Portland Jetport (that’s Maine’s way of saying airport) and she’s winging her way to the left coast for a week of fun and frolic with her son. They have quite the trip planned that includes a drive to Las Vegas to see a few shows and lose a few dollars.  As I ‘m writing this she should just be landing at O’Hare in Chicago.  Then she’s off to LA LA land to enjoy the sunny weather, the warm ocean, and a host of diverse weirdo’s.  She should be able to teach them a thing or two about what weirdness is really all about because she’s a pro.

“Remember honey, what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas.”

It’s a vacation for her but it’s also one for yours truly.  A total week of no C&W music blaring throughout the house and no one constantly looking over my shoulder.  Besides,  just mentioning that little tidbit is sure to get a rise out of her. Just to make sure she doesn’t get too upset with my sarcasm I thought I should roam the Internet to collect a few expert opinions and quotations on vacationing separately.

  • Taking time alone is a positive sign that the spouses are acknowledging and honoring each other’s careers and likes.
  • Taking separate vacations enables a person to understand that spending too much time together may hurt any relationship. “A couple needs time apart as much as time together.”
  • “What makes a relationship juicy and exciting are the different perspectives and experiences we bring to it. You need the separateness to appreciate the togetherness.”

In my humble opinion these quotations are almost word for word what I was thinking all along.  I’m glad I found an expert or two who were able to word it just the way I was thinking it (sarcasm off).

I see a week of total relaxation.  Also, this week will be clothing-optional around the house because I’m in total agreement with good old Benjamin Franklin who was an advocate of what he called "air baths".  Amen to that Ben!

I plan on hitting the beach here in Maine  a few times and should have quite the collection of photo’s to show for it. 

DSC_6180

“Remember honey, what happens in Maine also stays in Maine.” LOL

For now the cat and I will spend a great deal of time relaxing on the deck. I’ll be reading a book or two and he’ll be chasing the occasional bird or squirrel. He’s pretty lazy and will probably just end up napping the entire week away in any one of his  numerous sleeping spots.

stormy1
stormy2
I may break out the margaritas one night and make some smoking hot tacos with a side of salsa or maybe even some kimchee.  Eat and drink until I drop then climb into a hot bath with a glass of really good brandy. Now that’s what I call a vacation.

I’d like to keep writing but it’s the first night of my vacation and I want to relax and enjoy it. I may even dig into my bag of fireworks and wake up the damn neighbors in the wee hours of the morning. After all it’s Fourth of July week and I intend to celebrate that birthday all week.

FLY YOUR FLAG PROUDLY

&

HAVE FUN LOVEY

%d bloggers like this: