I thought today I would do something a little different. As I’ve mentioned many times in posts I am not a lover of beer. While that remains true so does the fact that my better-half loves, adores, and worships at the closest beer tap. Over the years many of my friends and coworkers drank nothing but beer and to this day I’ll never understand why. This post is for all of you male beer drinkers out there and hopefully after reading this you may understand why many women have issues with men who love drinking beer. The following is a list of nineteen reasons why a man at times prefers beer rather than the company of a woman.
1.You can enjoy beer all month long. 2. You don’t have to wine and dine a beer 3. Beer will wait patiently for you in the car when you play sports 4. A frigid beer is still a good beer. 5. Beer is never late. 6. Beer hangovers go away eventually. 7. A beer doesn’t get jealous when you grab another beer. 8. Beer labels come off without a fight. 9. When you go to a bar, you can always pick up a beer. 10. Beer never has a headache.
If you pour beer just right, you’ll always get good head.
A beer won’t get upset if you come home with beer on your breath.
You can have more than one beer a night and not feel guilty.
Beer always goes down easy.
You can share a beer with your friends.
You always know if you’re the first one to pop a beer.
Beer is always wet.
You don’t have to wash a beer before it tastes good.
I’ve been a homebrewer for more than thirty years. I’ve made thousands of bottles of wine over the years because I’m just not a big fan of beer. My few attempts at making beer were miserable failures or that’s what I’ve been told by the “Beer” people. It was a fun hobby and mostly kept me at home and out of trouble for years. When I notice something related to home brewing, I always save it for later use. This post has been in my files for a lot of years, and I can’t even remember where it came from, so I dusted it off, and here it is. Maybe next Christmas it might motivate some of you “Beer” people give it a try.
“TWAS THE HOMEBREWER’S NIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS”
Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the house, Every creature was thirsty, including the mouse… The steins were empty, and the bottles were too The beer had been drunk with no time to brew.
My family was nestled all snug in their beds While visions of Christmas Ale foamed in their heads. Mama in her kerchief lamented the drought, She craved a pilsner and I, a large stout.
When out on the lawn, there arose such a clatter, I sprang from my chair to see what was the matter. Away to the kitchen, I flew like a flash, Opening the door with a loud bang and crash!
I threw on the switch and the lights, all aglow, Gave a luster of mid-day to the brew-pot below. When, what to my wondering eyes should appear But Gambrinus himself, the patron of beer.
With a look in his eye, so lively and quick, He said, “You want beer? Well, here, take your pick.” More rapid than eagles, his recipes came As he whistled and shouted and called them by name.
“Now, Pilsener! Now, Porter! Now, Stout and Now Maerzen! On, Bitter! On, Lager! On, Bock and On Weizen!” “To the top of the bottles, the short and the tall, Now brew away, brew away, and fill them all!”
As dried hops before a wild hurricane fly, And then, without warning, settle down with a sigh, So towards the brew-pot, the ingredients flew, Malt extract, roasted barley and crystal malt, too.
And then in a twinkling, I heard it quite plain, The cracking open of each barley grain. As I drew in my head and was turning around, Into the kitchen, he came with a bound.
He was dressed like a knight, from his head to his toes, With an old family crest adorning his clothes. A bundle of hops, he had flung on his back, And the brewing began when he opened his pack.
His hops were so fragrant! His barley, how sweet! The adjuncts included Munich malt and some wheat. The malted barley was mashed in the tun, Then boiled with hops in the brew-pot ’till done.
Excitement had me gnashing my teeth, As the sweet smell encircled my head like a wreath. Beer yeast was pitched, both lager and ale, The wort quickly fermented; not once did it fail.
It was then krausened, or with sugar primed, And just being bottled when midnight had chimed. A wink of his eye and a twist of his head, Soon gave me to know, I’d be shortly in bed.
He spoke not a word but kept on with his work, And capped all the bottles, then turned with a jerk. And laying a finger alongside his nose, He belched (quite a burp!) before he arose.
Clean-up was easy, with only a whistle, And away the mess flew, like the down on a thistle. And I heard him exclaim, ‘ere he left me the beer, “Merry Christmas to all and a HOPPY New Year!”
As I promised, today’s posting will conclude our day trip to Portsmouth, NH and Kennebunkport, ME. I left off last time as we were leaving the Red Hook Brewery in New Hampshire after a nice lunch and a tour of the brewery. I still was loving that beer buzz I had from tasting the many beer samples on the tour. Unfortunately by the time we reached the Kennebunkport area the glow was gone.
Our last visit to Kennebunkport had been prior to Memorial Day and things have changed dramatically in the last week. The tourists were out in force and the parking difficulties have returned. As much as I hate paying for parking there really isn’t much of a choice in such a small village directly adjacent to the Atlantic Ocean. Three bucks an hour is enough to keep our visit to a two hour minimum.
We took a quick walk around town hitting a few shops and generally getting a feel for the place. Many of the shops from last year were gone and replaced by new owners wanting to make their fortune. Good luck with that.
As always we hung around just long enough to make a visit to Federal Jack’s restaurant. We never miss that stop when we’re in town because the food is great and the beer is plentiful. This is the original microbrewery location that eventually spawned the Shipyard Brewing Company. I switched back to white wine for my meal of freshly caught and cooked Fish & Chips.
The town is famous for the Bush family and as you can see the entire population is celebrating the 90th birthday of Barbara Bush this month. As we left town we took a short ride up the coast past Walker Point where the Bush family has their summer residence. The day remained gray and chilly but that’s just life in Maine in early June.
We arrived back home with a camera full of pictures and full bellies. Now it’s time to relax for a while and watch a movie. We’re both hoping for warmer weather soon but I suppose that’s Mother Natures decision as always.
Last Wednesday was a day we don’t often have. My better-half and I were able to combine some semi-decent weather with one of her rare days off. We decided to start our day in Portsmouth, NH where we could shop a little, enjoy people watching, and take a few updated photographs of the waterfront and harbor.
Even though the weather wasn’t perfect (cloudy and chilly) we still enjoyed roaming around Old Town. The shops there are as diverse as they can possibly be making the visits much more interesting. Jewelry, clothing, trinkets, and of course food. We did our best to sample and purchase a little of everything.
The older part of town is filled with many interesting buildings that have been repurposed many times over the years. Lots of college and high school students filling the streets to make things even more interesting. I have to say that the new fad of coloring one’s hair a vibrant blue doesn’t do much for me but I’m acquiring a real appreciation for the women’s new obsession with tights. OMFG!
‘What’s a day without music?
‘Lady Blue’
After walking around town for a few hours I found something interesting. It was a building decoration which captured completely the message my feet were sending to me.
We ended the day with a stop at the Red Hook Brewery for a light lunch and then a tour of the facility. It never hurts to learn a little more about beer making and those free beer samples didn’t hurt either. While I’m not much of a beer drinker it’s nice to have an occasional beer buzz that early in the day. We departed the Portsmouth area for a leisurely ride up the coast to one of out favorite places, Kennebunkport. I’ll save that part of the trip for my next posting.
The big day has finally arrived and now my better-half is one year older. I’ve never been one to celebrate my own birthdays but for her I can make an exception. We started the day off perfectly when we looked out the window of our bedroom to see the first snow fall of the year. We’d had a flurry or two a week ago but this snow covered everything just like it should and as you can see.
She was on a day-off which allowed us to be bed buddies for an hour or so. I brought her some excellent coffee and we relaxed and thoroughly enjoyed the moment. Much to her surprise I’d hidden a birthday gift or two in the closet and brought them out. Our normal routine has always been to open gifts at the end of the day but I wanted to change things up a little. She opened her gifts and read her cards (one funny and one mushy) and we planned the remainder of our day.
It wasn’t long before we were in the car and on our way to Lowe’s. What better way to start her birthday than with a snow storm and a flu shot. That little chore took five minutes and we were headed out to Portland for a day of walking around, people watching, and shopping.
You’ve got to love shopping in Portland. Let’s see if you can guess what state your in by the merchandise they have available for sale.
We made a few purchases and hallelujah, a birthday miracle, the sun came out and the skies cleared. It was still cold as hell but it was turning into a perfect Maine winter day. We were thoroughly enjoying the day and decided to stop at a little out of the way tavern for a quick drink and some French fries. They also have this great fish tank.
It was while we were there that she contacted some friends who we socialize with occasionally and agreed to meet later for drinks. We left Portland and made our way to my favorite coffee spot located inside the Maine Mall. I ordered us both some excellent Ethiopian coffee and we split one of their triple berry yogurt muffins, It was incredible.
We had our dinner at the nearby Sebago Brewery which while being a small brewery is also a restaurant and bar and usually packed with people. A Friday nite at this place is a freaking zoo and we were dropped right in the middle of it. We finished our meal and a short time later our friends arrived and the birthday celebration continued. Her day was filled with emails, messages, and the dozen or so tweets she posted on Twitter. She also received calls from her children, siblings, and other friends. She was in heaven.
We returned home at a reasonable hour, fell into bed and relaxed. That’s when I brought out her quad-chocolate layer cake. She blew out her candles, made her magical wish, cut us two slices, and we pigged out a little. What better way to finish our day right where it all started. More laughing and enjoying each other’s company and then to sleep. Isn’t that what it’s all about after all.
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