Archive for the ‘funny’ Tag

🌲Christmas Limerick🌲   Leave a comment

Old Santa got drunk on warm ale

“I’m too old for Christmas” his wail

“But what of the toys

For the good girls and boys?”

“I’ll have Amazon send them by mail!”

Posted December 2, 2021 by Every Useless Thing in Humor, Limericks, Sarcasm

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12/01/2021 🌲Christmas Humor🌲   Leave a comment

I found this joke on line and couldn’t resist sharing it with you:

Three men died on Christmas Eve and were met by Saint Peter at the pearly gates. “In honor of this holy season,” Saint Peter said, “You must each possess something that symbolizes Christmas to get into heaven.”

The first man fumbled through his pockets and pulled out a lighter. He flicked it on. “It represents a candle”, he said. “Very well, you may pass through the pearly gates,” Saint Peter said.

The second man reached into his pocket and pulled out a set of keys. He shook them and said, “They’re bells.” Saint Peter said, “You may also pass through the pearly gates.”

The third man started searching desperately through his pockets and finally pulled out a pair of women’s panties. St. Peter looked at the man with a raised eyebrow and asked, “And just what do those symbolize?”

The man replied, “These are Carol’s.”

23 SHOPPING DAYS LEFT

Posted December 1, 2021 by Every Useless Thing in Humor, Sarcasm, Sex, Trivia

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⚡Stupid Newspaper Headline⚡ 1   Leave a comment

Male Infertility Can Be Passed on to Children

⚡Stupid Newspaper Headline⚡   Leave a comment

“Prostitutes Appeal to Pope”

Posted November 29, 2021 by Every Useless Thing in History, Humor, Just Saying, Quotations

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11/28/2021 🌲Christmas Limerick🌲   Leave a comment

I thought I would kick off the Christmas season with a proper limerick: 26 Shopping days to go . . .

There was an old elf named Bing

He was good at only one thing

He was clumsy with tools

And broke all the rules

But boy could that son-of-a-bitch sing.

Posted November 28, 2021 by Every Useless Thing in Humor, Limericks, Sarcasm

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⚡Stupid Newspaper Headline⚡   Leave a comment

Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers

⚡Stupid Newspaper Headline⚡   Leave a comment

Lawyer Says Client Is Not That Guilty

🍗Thanksgiving Limerick🍗   2 comments

There once was a turkey named Dunn

Thanksgiving, for him, wasn’t fun

He was the main source

Of dinner, of course

And when it was through, he was done.

Posted November 24, 2021 by Every Useless Thing in Cooking, Food Related, Humor, Limericks, Sarcasm

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🍗Thanksgiving Limerick🍗   Leave a comment

“When Thanksgiving is misty and murky

And you’re indoors all happy and perky

There’ll be people to greet

Lots of goodies to eat

But just spare a thought for the turkey.”

Posted November 23, 2021 by Every Useless Thing in Cooking, Food Related, Humor, Limericks, Sarcasm

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11/22/2021 🍗Thanksgiving Limerick🍗   Leave a comment

“The turkey did not turn out fine.

So I thought I would break out the wine.

By dessert they were wasted

From the wine that they tasted

And they all thought the dinner divine.”

Posted November 22, 2021 by Every Useless Thing in Cooking, Food Related, Humor, Limericks, Sarcasm

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