Archive for the ‘limerick’ Tag

***Limerick💗Alert***   1 comment

There was a young lady named Jo

Who was serviced four times in a row;

When she cried: “Give me more!”

A weak voice from the floor

Protested: “I just can’t, it’s too sore.”

Posted November 15, 2021 by Every Useless Thing in Humor, Kill Me, I'm Begging You, Limericks, Sarcasm, Sex

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11/12/2021 ***Limerick Alert***   2 comments

“Far more precious to me than my treasure.”

JB loudly announced, “Is my leisure;

I am happy to screw

The retirement home’s crew –

“They are slow, but that lengthens the pleasure!”

Posted November 12, 2021 by Every Useless Thing in Bitch & Complain, Humor, Limericks

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11/10/2021 ***Limerick Alert***   Leave a comment

In the street, a big lady from Fareham,

Would take out her tits to compare’em;

She explained: As I’m blessed

With great mounds on my chest,

it’s a bit of a shame not to share’em.

Posted November 10, 2021 by Every Useless Thing in Humor, Kill Me, I'm Begging You, Limericks, Sarcasm, Sex

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11/08/2021 ***Limerick Alert***   Leave a comment

A woman who lived in St. Paul,

Had breasts undeniably small;

Her husband growled: “Dear,

Why not burn your brassiere?

It’s fulfilling no function at all!”

11/06/2021 ***Limerick Alert***   Leave a comment

I met a lewd nude in Bermuda,

Who thought she was shrewd, I was shrewder;

She considered it crude

To be wooed in the nude –

I pursued her, subdued her, and screwed her.

11/12/2021 ***Limerick Alert***   Leave a comment

Mickey’s is bigger than Dickie’s,

And Dickie’s is bigger than Rickie’s;

I like penises the size

That bring tears to my eyes,

Although small ones are better for quickies.

Posted November 3, 2021 by Every Useless Thing in Bitch & Complain, Humor, Limericks, Sarcasm

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11/17/2021 ***Limerick Alert***   Leave a comment

There was a young fellow, from Florida,

Who liked a friends wife, so he borrowed her;

When they jumped into bed,

He cried: “God! Strike me dead!

This isn’t a vagina – it’s a corridor!”

Posted November 3, 2021 by Every Useless Thing in Bitch & Complain, Humor, Limericks, Sarcasm, Sex

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11/02/2021 ***Limerick Alert***   5 comments

There was a young lady named Jo,

Whose lover had pulled out too slow;

So they tried it all night,

Till he got it just right –

Well, practice makes perfect you know!

***Limerick💗Alert***   Leave a comment

There was a nurse anxious to score

With such style she was hard to ignore.

There’s one way she likes

But it gave me the frights,

But still I came back for more.

Posted October 31, 2021 by Every Useless Thing in Humor, Limericks, Sarcasm, Sex

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10/29/2021 ***Limerick 💗Alert***   1 comment

Said Miss Vero, at one of her bars:

“Sex is more fun in bed than in cars.

You feel more at ease,

Your ass doesn’t freeze,

And no one can see all my scars.