Archive for the ‘millennials’ Tag
During the 80’s life was pretty interesting. I was traveling a lot, meeting a lot of people, and generally enjoying my life. But it wasn’t all fun and games as compared to the lifestyles we have currently. Anyone identified as a Millennial then would have lost their effing minds. Political correctness was a rare thing and having a sense of humor required a thick skin. I’ve come upon in recent months a number of collections of humor from the 1980’s and for all of you Millennial’s out there, buckle up, the rides about to get a little bumpy.
- When should you start playing with yourself in a restaurant? When there’s a sign that says, “First come, “first served!”
- What would call a liberal who’s overweight and perverted? A bisexual built for two!
- What did the surgeons say to the guy who wanted to do his own operation? ”Suture self!”
- Why should you always travel with a sixpack in the wintertime? In case you have to leave a message in the snow!
- What’s the harshest penalty for bigamy? Two mothers-in-law!
- What would you call a drink made out of orange juice and milk of magnesia? A Phillips Screwdriver!
- What’s a wool diaphragm? A sock in the puss!
- What’s a sanitary pad that girls can wear while dancing? Diskotex!
- Why are erections like elections? It can get really stinky around the polls!
- When is premature ejaculation a serious problem? When it occurs between “hello” and “what’s your sign?”
My Fav: Why do farts smell? So deaf people can enjoy them, too!
Have you ever been reading a book and all of a sudden WHAM, something grabs your attention. That happened to me last night at midnight as I was reading book five of the Dune series. I read this paragraph, and it just encapsulated how I feel about the current state of the country after years of Obama and Bidens leadership. I’ll also throw in the idiot WOKE generation as well since they’re just another arm of the liberal establishment trying desperately to turn the USA into a sad copy of any number of European countries verging on socialism. Here it is . . .
“Most civilization is based on cowardice. It’s so easy to civilize by teaching cowardice. You water down the standards which would lead to bravery, you restrain the will. You regulate the appetites; you fence in the horizons. You make a law for every moment. You deny the existence of chaos. You teach even the children to breathe slowly. You tame.”
Frank Herbert
WARNING – WARNING – WARNING
WELCOME TO THE MILLENNIAL UNITED STATES OF AMERICA
Here are a few samples of some silly things that prompt many of the posts I write on current societal changes. Some I’ve personally experienced, and others were reported to me by friends, readers, and co-workers. God help us all.
- In a semi-rural area. a new neighbor called the local town hall administrative office to request the removal of the Deer Crossing sign on our road. The reason: Too many deer were being hit by cars, and he no longer wanted them to cross there.
- Once at a local Taco Bell a taco was ordered. I requested “minimal lettuce.” The server said he was sorry, but they only had “Iceberg”.
- At the airport check-in an airport employee asked, “Has anyone put anything into your baggage without your knowledge?” I said, “If it was without my knowledge, how would I know?” He smiled and nodded knowingly, “That’s why we ask.”
- The stoplight at the intersection buzzes when it’s safe to cross the street. I was crossing with an intellectually challenged coworker of mine (in my opinion), when she asked if I knew what the buzzer was for. I explained that it signals blind people when the light is red. She responded, appalled “What on earth are blind people doing driving?”
- At a good-bye lunch for a coworker who was leaving the company due to “downsizing” our manager spoke up and said, “This is fun. We should have lunch like this more often.” Not another word was spoken.
- I once worked with an individual who plugged her computer power strip back into itself and couldn’t understand why her system wouldn’t turn on.
- Upon arriving at an automobile dealership to pick up my car, we were told that the keys had been accidentally locked in it. The service department had a mechanic working feverishly to unlock the driver’s side door. As I watched from the passenger’s side, I instinctively tried the door handle and discovered it was open. “Hey,” I announced to the technician, “it’s open.” The young man answered, “I already got that side.”
IT’S A MILLENNIAL SPRING
I Feel Better Already
Well here we are, another slow, lazy, uninteresting Sunday in Maine. I was hijacked once again to join another shopping safari with my better-half and so I came properly prepared. I have my Kindle, my tablet, and an armload of reference books. She has that evil-eye look that I hate to see when she’s shopping. That means more stores to visit, more parking lots to sit in, and a serious lack of available Wi-Fi.
This appears to be a normal run-of-the-mill pandemic shopping day. The percentage of people wearing masks appears to be increasing every day it seems. I think the state mandate and the recent surge of new cases is starting to have a positive impact on mask compliance. It’s still weirds me out a little bit to see young toddlers wearing masks and being carried around by their mothers who aren’t. As Ron White so often says “You just can’t fix stupid”.
I’m not certain if I mentioned it before but three weeks ago I received my third Pfizer Covid shot. I’m considered an extremely high risk person and Covid-19 would likely end me if I catch it. That leads me right into my next talking point, Millennials.
I’ve been somewhat critical towards Millennial’s in recent months because their attitude toward vaccinations and masks is as stupid as their feelings about senior citizens. They’re concerned only with themselves it seems by shrugging their shoulders on the masking and vaccination requirements. I would hope they’d realize by now that by complying they would go a long way in helping to protect others who may be at risk. I’ve heard many off-the-cuff derogatory remarks made in recent months concerning the “old folks” and “they just want to live forever”. I’m sure that many of the dead victims of the virus wouldn’t have been reassured by attitudes like that prior to their deaths. Millennials give new meaning to the term the “Me Generation”. That goes to all of you Anti-Vaxers as well.
YOU CANT FIX STUPID OR SELFISHNESS
everyuselessthing.com 