Archive for the ‘puns’ Tag
I’m quite the fan of word games, puns, and almost anything related to the written or spoken word. The English language is a real minefield for immigrants to navigate and truthfully it’s just as tough for some of us home grown types. Todays quiz will test your knowledge of our language with trivia on words and phrases and how they came to be. As always the answers will be listed below.
- What is the measurement of “one foot’ based on?
- Who invented word “carport”?
- What ails you if your suffering from a bilateral preorbital hematoma?
- What are you afraid of if you have ergophobia?
- In Japan, what automobile part is known as a bakkumira?
- What is the chief symptom of someone suffering from oniomania?
- What is the origin of the word hoax?
- What does Iwo Jima mean in Japanese?
- How did the common airgun become known as a BB gun?
- How did “bloomers”, ladies pantaloons, get their name?
Answers
One third of the length of King Henry I’s arm, Frank Lloyd Wright, A black eye, Work, A rearview mirror, Graying of the hair, Uncontrollable urge to buy things, Its a contraction from hocus pocus, Sulfur Island, From it’s Ball Bearing ammunition, From suffragette Amelia Bloomer.
As you can imagine, I am continually on the lookout for anything humorous. Sometimes I get lucky and find a gold mine and other times I find myself severely disappointed. Recently I was out surfing sites for anything I could find, and I stumbled upon a book of 1001 one-liners, short jokes, and puns. I admit a preference for bawdy humor, but I thought I’d take a chance, and I bought this book. I’ll withhold my opinions, and you can decide whether I got taken or not.
- I used to think an ocean of soda existed, but it was just a Fanta sea.
- I like to drink my brandy neat but sometimes I take my tie off and leave my shirt out.
- I must’ve eaten too much salmon. I just ran up an escalator that was coming down.
- A sandwich walked into a bar. The bartender said, “Sorry we don’t serve food in here.”
- My girlfriend told me she’s leaving me because I keep pretending to be a Transformer. I said, “No, wait! I can change.”
- I heard a rumor that they were giving away horse manure at a local fair, so I went down there to check it out. It was bullshit.
- I’ve been taking Viagra for my sunburn. It doesn’t cure it but during the night he keeps the sheets off my legs.
- Never under any circumstances take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.
- My favorite exercise is a combination of a lunge and a crunch. It’s called lunch.
- A man entered a local newspapers pun contest. He sent in 10 different puns in the hope that at least one of the puns would win. Unfortunately, no pun in 10 did.
There you have ten questionable jokes. I really believe I got taken on this purchase.
Here’s one of the few that I actually enjoyed:
I just saw a large singer with a laptop. It was a Dell.
SPECIAL THANKS TO GRAHAM CANN
The title of the post tells you everything you need to know. I love wordplay, making puns, finding palindromes, and using words that are rarely heard anymore. Word play can be fun and here are a few fun facts for your files.
- Do you know how to tell the difference between morons, imbeciles, and Idiots? Morons – IQ 51 to 70, Imbeciles – IQ 26 to 50, and Idiots – IQ 0-25.
- The words tremendous, horrendous, stupendous, and hazardous are the only four words in the modern English language that end in “dous”.
- There are no words that rhyme with orange.
- If “off” means to deactivate, what happens when the alarm goes off?
- Dr. Seuss is credited with the first use of the word “nerd” in print, from his 1950 book If I Ran the Zoo.
- The word “Mountweazels” concerns spurious entries or fake words used to catch copyright cheaters.
- The term “Tattarrattat” was coined by James Joyce in his novel Ulysses for a knock on the door. It also happens to be the longest palindrome in the Oxford English Dictionary.
- “The sixth sick sheik’s sixth sheep is sick” is said to be the toughest tongue twister in the English language.
- These six words have no accepted singular forms. Pajamas, Shorts, Jeans, Tights, Trousers, and Glasses.
- “Floccinaucinihilipilification” is the longest real word (29 letters) in the Oxford English Dictionary.
I’ll keep searching for more of these and as I find them, I’ll post them. Language can be fun in so many ways. How cool is it to use the language properly to insult some clueless person who insists on irritating you and them not realizing what you meant.
ONE OF LIFE’S GUILTY PLEASURES
everyuselessthing.com 