Archive for May 2024
I thought since it’s another gray, wet, and crappy day I’d get lazy and throw a collection of useless information your way. There’s no rhyme or reason just a whole lot of nonsensical facts.
Odd Newpaper Headlines
- Miners Refuse to Work After Death
- Stolen Painting Found by Tree
- Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant
Ridiculous Newspaper Classified Ads
- For Sale: Two wire-mesh butchering gloves, one 5 finger, one 3 finger, pair $15.00.
- Free Puppies: 1/2 cocker spaniel – 1/2 sneaky neighbor’s dog.
- Georgia Peaches – California Grown – 89 cents a pound.
- Joining nudist colony, must sell washer and dryer – $300.
- For Sale: an antique desk suitable for a lady with thick legs and large drawers.
Malaprops (From Student Essays)
- A rolling stone gathers no moths.
- The battle was won due to gorilla warfare.
- The store was closed for altercations.
- The Second Amendment gives citizens the right to bare arms.
Attorneys and Friends (Actual Court Testimony)
- How far apart were the vehicles at the time of the accident?
- You say the stairs went down to the basement? Did they also go up?
- Can you give us an example of something you’ve forgotten?
- Now, isn’t it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn’t know about it until the next morning?
JUST PLAIN SILLINESS
Bath Abby, England
Here lies Ann Mann.
She lived an old maid and
She died an Old Mann
🪦🪦🪦
Bayfield, Mississippi
Here lies my wife in earthly mold,
Who when she lived did nothing but scold.
Please wake her not, for now she’s still,
I’m alone, but now I have my will.
Boston Granary Cemetery
Here lie I bereft of breath
Because a cough carried me off.
Then a coffin they carried me off in.
🪦🪦🪦
Skaneateles, New York
Underneath this pile of stones
Lies all that’s left of Sally Jones.
Her name was Briggs, it was not Jones,
But Jones was used to rhyme with stones.
The last words of Pablo Picasso (1881-1973)
“Drink to me.”
AMEN BROTHER!!
I don’t know about you but I’m a bit of a foodie. As like everyone else I have certain foods that I absolutely love but very few that I dislike. I like trying new things and I’ve eaten some things I regret. I spent two years in Korea and inadvertently ate dog soup and spring rolls made with cat. Those for sure I don’t recommend because the resulting projectile vomiting ruined my meal. With that disgusting thought in mind, I felt a post on food trivia was called for. Eat up . . .
- Chocolate was once considered a temptation of the devil. In Central American mountain villages during the 18th century, no one under the age of 60 was permitted to drink it, and churchgoers who defied this rule were threatened with excommunication.
- Vinegar was the strongest acid known to the ancients.
- Most healthy adults can go without eating anything for a month or longer. But they must drink at least 2 quarts of water a day.
- A herd of mountain sheep in Alberta, the Canadian province, has been in danger of being killed off. The herd neglects the normal grass diet in favor of the candy and other junk food offered by tourists. The animals are losing weight, and the females may not be producing enough high-quality milk.
- When tea was first introduced in the American colonies, many housewives, in their ignorance, served the tea leaves with sugar or syrup after throwing away the water in which they’d been boiled.
- The annual harvest of an entire coffee tree is required for a single pound of ground coffee. Every tree bears up to 6 pounds of beans, which are reduced to a pound after the beans are roasted and ground.
- The Manhattan cocktail – whiskey and sweet vermouth – was invented by Jenny Jerome, the beautiful New Yorker who was the toast of the town until she went to England as the wife of Lord Randolph Churchill, in 1874, and shortly thereafter gave birth to Winston.
- A highway 55 feet wide and 6 feet thick that’s built entirely of grain and stretches around the world at the equator – that’s how much the world’s annual consumption of grain comes to: 1.2 billion metric tons.
- Kernels of popcorn were found in the graves of pre-Colombian Indians.
- While Europeans in the 16th century did not live by bread alone, it can be said they almost lived by grain alone. Beer and ale, both derived from grain, were consumed in vast quantities. Dutch soldiers on campaign in 1582 received 2 gallons a day. Queen Elizabeth’s men got only one.
FOODIES RULE ! !
everyuselessthing.com 