Archive for the ‘Education’ Category
“It’s Not Nice to Fool Mother Nature’
Have you ever had something good you were trying to do for someone come back and bite you in the ass? If you haven’t, you don’t know what your missing. I’ve never been known as a “relationship guy”and I’ve failed in so many I should be somewhere in the Guinness Book of Records. As I’ve gotten older I really and truly tried to change my ways with only moderate success.
I was always a good listener but the other skills necessary for maintaining a long term relationship were severely lacking. After trying and failing and then trying again I began to make some progress and was really proud of myself. My better-half constantly assures me that I’m a good partner and we have a healthy and happy relationship. Little did I know that she was lulling me into a false sense of security and it all came to a head yesterday.
It all started with a casual conversation about how stressed she was with Christmas approaching. She was stressing about buying gifts, what gifts to buy, where to buy them, and on and on and on. I fell for it completely and was actually starting to feel sorry for her. After being told what a great relationship we had I felt the need to step up and help her out as much as I could. I casually mentioned that I might consider spending some time with her and using my superior shopping skills to help get her back on track. It might have been one of the dumbest things I’ve ever suggested.
It wasn’t much later when she arrived with a handful of coupons from a bunch of retailers, laid them on the table, and then gave me our tentative travel plans for our full day of shopping. I’m not saying she set the whole thing up but I’m highly suspicious of how quickly those plans came together.
Yesterday was “THE” day. I was rousted out of my warm bed, given some coffee, and a “hurry up, we’re burning daylight” comment. Eight hours, seven stores, two snacks, and three coffees later my ass was dragging. Thank God for Mother Nature. It began raining soon after we left the house and the more it rained the more her shopping enthusiasm waned. As we were leaving the over crowded mall in the late afternoon we made a mad dash for the car and got a little wet. She decided right then and there we should just call it a day and go home. Halleluiah and thank God . . . .
It’s now the next morning and I slept in until 8:30 am. She came running into the bedroom all pumped up with another handful of coupons, ready for another round of shopping. Get this, she even served me bacon, eggs, toast and coffee in bed. I think she needs a bit more training on how to be subtle. Once again Mother Nature arrived to save the day. As we were looking out the window at the already crappy day it began to lightly snow. The first snow fall this year and I made the most of it. I was moving kind of slow (intentionally) and told her I really wasn’t up to driving and shopping in this weather. All of my Christmas shopping was already done and I really just wanted to stay at home and relax for an hour or so. I laid it on pretty thick and before I knew it she left in a cloud of coupons to go shop, shop, shop.
‘Thank You Once Again Mother Nature’
This experience has shown me who my perfect women really is, it’s Mother Nature. She’s a little older than me but she’s still got it going on. I’m a good listener and I clean up pretty well so we should be able to easily make our relationship work over the long term. I also understand she’s not much of a shopaholic which is just another plus. My better-half had better slide a little further over in the bed to make room for our new friend.
52 SHOPPING DAYS TILL CHRISTMAS
Another Halloween has come and gone and it ended last night with a visit from the grandson. He’s now officially more than two years old and obsessed with all things Mickey Mouse. He’s a big fan of the Mickey Mouse Club much as I was while growing up but for entirely different reasons. He loves the music, wearing the ears, and dancing around. All I had was Annette Funicello and her two perky friends. It’ll be a another ten years before he begins enjoying that part of the Mickey Mouse Club.
Halloween is an odd holiday anyway and it’s more for the costumes and candy than anything else. Since I’ve pretty much given up on that part of the holiday I figured I was safe for another year. Leave it up to my better-half to come up with something for me do. She walks in the door two nights ago carrying bags of groceries which I later found out were for some party being held at her work place. She’d been anointed as the head cheerleader in that store as well as the official food preparer for all functions. Apparently my cooking services are available because of her and they get them free of charge.
I was sweetly requested to help prepare enough taco filling for ninety to a hundred tacos. That’s ten plus pounds of cow, browned perfectly and seasoned with that magical blend of Mexican spices. I began my preparations but something seemed to be missing and I couldn’t quite figure out what it was. It was this:
I think that cooking Mexican food of any kind without tequila or jalapeno flavored vodka is against the law in a few states or should be. I slammed down two quick shots of vodka, picked up a couple pounds of meat and got to work. Four shots and ten pounds of hamburger later the meat was cooked, seasoned, and packaged for shipment to the store. Not only was I relaxed, I was positively glowing.
The party was a huge success with more than ninety people filling up on tacos and enchiladas. It’s not your typical Maine meal by any means but everyone loved it anyway.
This Halloween I was able to do some cooking (I love that) for a large gathering that I didn’t have to attend (Yeah!), loaded up the grandson up with as much candy as possible which I wasn’t then forced to eat (Yeah again!), and didn’t have to worry about dressing up in silly costumes (Yeah #3!). That for me is a really successful Halloween and I hope to do it the same way next year. By then we’ll have a little brother or sister for the grandson tagging along to make it even more interesting.
I hope your holiday was as exciting as mine. There are times when I miss the costumes and craziness of years past but then good sense prevails, I have a glass of wine, and kick back and relax.
‘Don’t Screw With Us Night-Owls’
I must be losing what’s left of my mind. Sit back and let me explain. Most people are either early morning people or night-owls. For as long as I can remember I’ve been a night-owl. I loved being out and about when everyone else was at home in their warm beds. Even when I was working those nine-to-five jobs I always managed to stay awake until at least midnight and still make it to work on time without any problem. My best years were those as a police officer when I could work as many overnights as I wanted. Those days are sadly gone forever as you shall see.
This morning was a perfect example of my new life. My better-half works some ungodly shifts but more often than not she begins work at 05:30 am. That requires her to bound out of bed in her ridiculously upbeat manner at 4:00 am to begin her endless pre-work preparations. As quiet as she tries to be she still manages to wake me up almost every day. Slowly over the last few years I’ve been quietly forced to adopt her work schedule whether I like it or not.
Fortunately I went to bed early enough last night that being awakened at 4:00 am was annoying but workable. I actually was awakened at 3:45 am when the damn cat decided it was time to be fed. So I made the coffee, fed the cat, visited the facilities and quickly returned to my warm bed. I tried desperately to go back to sleep but nothing doing. I was wide awake with nothing to do and nowhere to go. Thanks a lot lovey!
I turned on the tube and what do I find but a Styx rock concert on AXS TV. I poured a large coffee, pulled the bed covers tightly around me, and settled down for the next two hours and rocked my life away. That group sounded as good today as it did way back when. The better-half left sometime during the concert giving me the required peck on the cheek as she ran for the door. Twenty minutes later she called in a tizzy to tell me she’d forgotten her bag full of paperwork that she needed it and could I bring it to her as soon as possible.
‘Before’
‘After’
Of course, I finished watching the concert, then I got dressed and did fifty minutes on the treadmill. There’s something very wrong with sweating through your clothing at 6:00 am. I finished with the treadmill, hit the shower, and then decided to deliver her work supplies to her. Of course she also demanded in her oh so nice way a Dunkin Donuts coffee which required me to make yet another stop. Isn’t love grand?
So after all of that I arrived at her store with all of the paperwork and her coffee. I made the visit as short as possible and quickly left after reciprocating with an obligatory kiss on her cheek. I stood outside in the parking lot for a second and glanced down at my phone, it was only 8:45 am. That’s just so wrong on so many levels. What the hell was I becoming? She’s turning me into a morning person and I can’t seem to stop her. Is my life over? Woe is me!
I drove directly home, parked the car, and marched my ass back to the bedroom. The next two hours were heaven on earth and that little nap was even better than those famous afternoon power naps everyone’s always raving about. I was sure the rest of the day would be a real yawner but I needed to remember one important thing. I’d be able to get up tomorrow morning and do it all over again.
Someone just shoot me now, please!
I’m not at all sure when this posting will make it’s way to my blog. I’m suffering through computer hell this week. I made the decision to finally upgrade my home network with a new and much smarter router to prepare for the installation of the “My Cloud” I purchased. My plan was to do the cloud upgrade only after I was sure that everything on the network was functioning properly.
I did all of the necessary research I could to prepare myself and started the process. My network is loaded with nine devices of one sort or another and the installation instructions appeared detailed and specific. Unplug the Ethernet cables from the old router and plug them into the new one. Easy, right? I reset my system and then began resetting each of the devices to the new router’s network. It was going so well I should have known it couldn’t last. My desktop computer is located on the first floor and it recognized the new network, had excellent signal strength, but offered no internet access. So began the madness . . . .
To make a long story short all of our smart phones and IPads are working fine. The Xbox, CD player, and printer are fine and working as expected. My desktop and one laptop will not cooperate. My Surface which has always been stable and a great device decided to crash just when I needed it most to still posting my blog. I have since discovered that the hard drive on the Surface crashed and the cost to have it fixed is more than I spent to purchase it. Isn’t that just typical? . . . .
I dismantled my downstairs desktop and moved it closer to the router. I did that and after a few minutes it began working as expected or so I thought. Since it was supposedly working I then moved it back to it’s original position. As I was making the move I accidentally bumped against the door frame and broke off the wifi antenna on the rear of the console. I spent an hour repairing the damage, turned on the unit and of course it didn’t work. The BS continues . . . .
So for the last 72 hours I’ve been totally focused on getting the SOB of a network up and running. So far it’s coincidently cost me my Surface, a purchase of a wifi range extender that doesn’t work, and a broken and inoperative desktop computer. I suppose I could try to blog from my smart phone but I refuse to even try. I’ve got a few more things to attempt before I give up completely. God knows when I’ll be back on the blog with the ability to do the things that I need to do such as posting photographs.
I’ll continue this commentary as I go along. I’m at my wits end and dagerously close to scrapping the entire setup and buying all new computers. I shall return . . . .
It’s now two days later and I’ve accomplished nothing. I was blessed with an hour and a half telephone call to the tech support staff at Linksys. The girl who was assigned to my problem was nice enough but I could only understand every other word. She took over control of my computer remotely and began changing settings and working her magic. The total result was nothing. No answers, no fix, just a referral to an affiliated company for an $80.00 software fix that was good for just 90 days. I could then have a full year of coverage for just $199.99. What an effing deal, I think it could be categorized as an old fashion “Bait and Switch” scheme. I hung up abruptly before I took out my mounting frustrations on the idiot I was talking to.
Today is the day I’ve officially given up. I’m going to try and remove everything I purchased from Best Buy and return my system to the status quo of a week ago. Then a quick trip to the store for a refund which will free me up to pursue other options to correct my difficulties. I’m just guessing but I have a sneaking suspicion that after I put everything back together it still won’t function. With all of the settings changes made by their tech support I fear my entire system has been compromised and will be unusable. Maybe I can get some sort of posting done with my IPad. I’ll let you know . . . some day.
Kill me now . . . .
As with most people of my generation, I’m addicted to television. A TV addiction is much like a heroin addiction. All the while your doing it you know it’s no good for you but you can’t stop yourself. We’re unfortunate in that we were born before TV and were hooked at an early age when it became readily available to the masses.
I remember those days with a B&W TV screen the size of a cereal box turned toward the dining room table so we could all watch as we ate our meal. A large antenna on the roof that rotated 360 degrees to help us pick up the signal. Three fantastic networks held our attention for years and made the TV our friend. It was on constantly in the house more for the company it provided than for the enjoyment of what was being aired.
As things progressed over the years my addiction really took hold and I was lost. The only thing that kept me from being lost forever was my time in the Army. I was located in a somewhat isolated part of South Korean and we had no television whatsoever. Two years which allowed me to kick the habit and resume a normal life (if you consider the Army a normal life). It was quite the shock to my system when I finally returned home. The TV at home was now in color, the screen was three times as big, and there were so many more programs to watch. It was all I could do to control myself.
As the years went by it became a love/hate relationship. Most of the programing was garbage and I found myself watching things that were ridiculous. That has continued unabated until now as I sit and watch a few hundred HD channels filled with more and more crap. Since there doesn’t seem to be any kind of rehab available for this addiction I guess I’ll continue to watch, be disgusted with myself and the programming, and continue to bitch and complain about the increasing costs.
I’ve always enjoyed trashing most of the pop culture nonsense that the airwaves and cables deliver to me every day and I hope that continues. I was shocked and pleasantly surprised when I recently stumbled onto a program I actually liked and will continue to watch. It’s a program on the Sundance Channel called “The Approval Matrix”.
‘Host: Neal Brennan’
Neal Brennan is someone I’ve never heard of and and I knew absolutely nothing of the backstory of how the Approval Matrix originated. Finding out it was a product of New York Magazine would normally have put me off a bit but surprise, surprise, it didn’t. I found myself captivated almost immediately by the format, the variety of guest commentators, and the subject matter. We now have a show that will help us determine what is cool, what isn’t and why.
Watching Brennan deliver his lines is priceless. It seems as if the writers are channeling Dennis Miller but at half speed. It’s smart comedy for those people who are willing to pay close attention.
Finally I have a smart and funny show to bookmark and to watch religiously.
I was having a pretty good week all things considered. I survived a birthday party with a gang of 2-6 year olds, got out of attending a wedding I didn’t want to attend, and built a new book shelf for my man-cave. I had a solid eight hours of sleep and was feeling at peace with the world. As everyone knows life always manages to balance the scales whether you like it or not. If you have a lot of good going on you just know at some point not so good will soon follow. Thank you so much Planned Parenthood of Northern New England.
You could say it was a feeling like "a cold shower" or having "someone peeing in your corn flakes" but it was a letter of BS and propaganda from those poor abused folks responsible for all of the initiatives to force religious employers to foot the bill for female employee contraceptives.
Here’s the first thing that caught my eye.
"It is unbelievable. Anti-choice extremists are taking away our rights – and the United States Supreme Court is helping them do it."
I guess anyone who disagrees with them on a matter of "Choice" of any kind must be an extremist. The first thing you need to know, I am not religious in any way shape or form and I never defend religion and never will. I will defend their right to disagree with the idiots at Planned Parenthood. I find it ridiculous and offensive to have a heavily taxpayer funded organization whining about their problems. Any business owner has the right (or used to) to run their company the way they saw fit. Any good businessman will tell you the last thing they need is government funded interference. The US government is a joke when it comes to running anything. Unfortunately during one of their many bouts of the "politically correct flu" they decided to fund some liberal organizations like Planned Parenthood.
Their next point was this:
"The US Supreme Court decisions are alarming and disheartening. Here at Planned Parenthood of Northern New England, we believe women should get to choose which birth control method they want to use. Not her employer."
I actually found myself agreeing with part of that statement. Women should have the right to chose their method of contraception. I just don’t feel that the taxpayers or their employers should be footing the bill. If you can’t afford contraception try abstaining for a while or let your boyfriend, husband or partner stop at a CVS and pick up some condoms. There are millions of Americans that feel exactly the same way I do about it.
Here’s a scan of the actual letter. I blocked out my name and address because those liberals are well known for their vicious hate mail campaigns. I truly dislike organizations that send me junk mail that my tax dollars are paying for.
So in closing here’s my message to Planned Parenthood. Take me off your mailing list until such time your no longer leeching from the taxpayers ($300,000,000.00 at last count). Then you might have a little credibility in your arguments. Oh yeah, stop misstating the facts and resorting to name calling. You’re starting to sound a little like those desperate folks over at PETA.
With the weather slowly but surely changing from Fall to Winter the final work to harvest the last of the herbs and to compost the garden needed to be done. My better-half had the day off and we both knew we had a few hours of hard work ahead of us. It was the last of our major tasks for the Fall.
It was hard labor for a while as we shoveled compost into our small trailer and delivered it to the garden. Not only does the compost reenergize the soil but it also helps to refill the frames with much needed soil.
We filled the trailer three times which allowed us to cover the entire garden with approximately three inches of compost. We took special precautions with the rhubarb and asparagus because they require additional protection from the coming snow and cold weather.
In a day or so I’ll add some lime to the compost as well as a general fertilizer. Then I’ll rototill the entire mixture thoroughly and let it sit until Spring.
I wanted to dry and store more herbs but a surprise hard frost last week killed off ninety percent of my basil plants. Fortunately I harvested some of the plants before the frost but it still irritates me to see any of them go to waste. Mother Nature always seems to get her fair share of things whether we like it or now.
It’s difficult here in Maine for cold-sensitive plants to survive the winter but I’ll never stop trying to find a way. Instead of harvesting all of the Rosemary and Parsley I decided to compost the plants heavily and then later in the season cover them with a thick layer of leaves. I’m hoping that for once I can have a Rosemary plant that survives the Winter and is able to get larger and stronger each year. Probably just wishful thinking but we shall see.
‘Harvested, Cleaned’
Only about fifty percent of this parsley was harvested in the hopes that it would retain enough energy to regrow in the Spring. I cleaned and washed the parsley, removed the stems, and placed everything into the dehydrator. In four hours it will be dry enough to crush and place into air tight jar for later use.
‘And Dried’
Our harvested black beans have also been dried and stored. There seems to be more than enough for a few good meals. It was our first year growing them and we haven’t decided whether to plant them again next year.
Once all of the days labor was completed we sat down to relax, have a drink, and discuss possible improvements and repairs of the garden for next year. One of the most interesting possibilities is the construction of a much larger cold frame that will be eight feet long and two feet wide. This would allow us to grow a variety of lettuces and radishes well into late October and even early November. Anything we can do to extend the growing season is well worth the effort.
We’re almost ready for that damn snow. Bring it on…..
This third installment of Fair day will be my last lame attempt to take you there. I wish I had some sort of smell-a-vision to really help tell the whole story but since I don’t, I’ll do the best I can with pictures.
We’ve visited the animal barns in the last installment but there was so much more to see than just that. I was extremely interested in the foods being offered since I’ve spent the last year on a rather strict eating regime. This was a day for me to misbehave a little and the choices were numerous. Here’s a brief collection of those possibilities.
Here are two of my sins for the day . . . .
“Deep fried veggies.’
‘Funnel Cake’
I was also dragged kicking and screaming by my better-half to an endless number of exhibits of things that held no interest for me. Just being a cooperative partner can be trying at times. There was no end of the shopping possibilities and she wasn’t about to miss any. Thank God we only have one grandson to buy for. If I hear or see anything with Mickey Mouse on it any time soon I may run screaming into the night.
“This was the only place that convinced me to spend my money.’
Now here’s a montage of photo’s of a host of other things that piqued my interest as we roamed around.
This one last photo will further explain just how I felt after ten hours of walking, sweating, and rubbing elbows with those huge crowds of other hot, sweaty and smelly human beings. I was totally exhausted and was just about done with Fair Day for this year.
‘Suicide by hippo.’
But there’s always next year to do it all over again . . . . . .
In this installment we’ll continue our journey through the huge crowds of people and make our way to visit the huge crowds of animals. I couldn’t possibly post all of the animal photos I took. The number and variety was amazing and the better-half made sure we saw each and every one of them. Here’s a montage:
‘Shave and a haircut.’
‘Llamas, I’m not a big fan.’
‘Clean as a whistle.’
‘Huge !!!’
If the Fair were held a little closer to our home I suspect we’d spend multiple days just roaming around the animal barns. Attending the many events where animals are displayed for judging would easily take an entire day. We were a little pickier this year in what we attended but as always because of my better-half’s love of pigs we took these pictures.
‘One happy pig.’
‘Many happy piglets.’
It’s now approaching the noon hour and we made our way to a small grandstand to watch the skillet throwing contest. I’m a big fan because the contest is a tongue-in-cheek throwback to the good old days of farm shows. I’ve captured a number of entrants as they tossed their skillets into the air but the last one was the big winner of the day. She was also the returning champion from last year’s Fair and to be as kind as possible she was more than a little scary.
‘Going . . . .’
‘Going . . . .’
‘ Gone !!!!, The winner and still champion.’
I took a quick picture of this guy who was either bored to death or just plain exhausted. He was sitting on his four wheeler with hundreds of people walking by and was dead asleep.
I knew exactly how he felt because it was the same malady that struck me as I sat listening to this Country and Western group while my better-half wandered around on her own shopping for more Fair junk.
My final installment from the Fair will be posted in two days and will include a variety of random shots taken throughout the day. Lots of food stops shopping kiosks, and hours of people watching. Come back to visit.
My body is talking to me this morning and it isn’t all that happy. Fryeburg Fair Day has come and gone for another year leaving us walking wounded behind. I’m going to post our Fair Day over the next few days because I have a lot of photos I’d like to share which should help give you a real feel for the place. The ride to Fryeburg was uneventful but the closer we got to the fairgrounds the more the traffic increased as you can see.
Being the simple person that I am I thought I’d start our day at the main entrance to the fairgrounds. This is one of the few events where I don’t mind paying a $10.00 entry fee. It’s worth every penny of that $.80 an hour it’s costing me. That’s a good deal anytime.
Yesterday was a day of smells. Twelve hours of smelly crowds, really smelly animals, and the aroma of deep fried everything. If you ever wanted to deep-fry a particular item, you could find a booth selling it here at the Fair. There’s nothing like the smell of old and hot cooking grease at 8:30 in the morning.
‘You don’t see signs like this too much anymore.’
If you like crowds this is the place to be. I’ve been coming to this event for seven years and my better-half for almost fifteen. In our opinion the crowd today is the largest either of us have ever seen. The fact that it’s Woodsmen Day is probably part of the explanation. It’s the day for axe throwing, log rolling, tree climbing, and an assortment of other events for the wannabe lumberjack. If you like beards and flannel shirts this is where you need to be.
I’m not sure exactly sure just how large the fairground is but with all of the campgrounds surrounding the place it must cover at least 100 acres or so. That’s an uneducated guess so those of you from Fryeburg who may be reading this shouldn’t get your panties in a knot if it’s a little inaccurate. To put it simply, the place is huge !!!!!
We normally start our visit with the area set aside for the little kids. Pony rides and small merry-go-rounds right next door to Old McDonald’s petting zoo. The little ones seem to love getting in there for a little "hands on" with the baby animals.
‘They love milking the plastic cow.’
Before doing anything else we stopped for our traditional Fair Day breakfast meal. A large order of greasy French Fries, vinegar, and ketchup will certainly get the old heart started on these cool Fall mornings. Another hour or so of wandering around is next on our agenda before we head for the animal barns. My better-half waits all year to return here to visit all of her animal friends. I swear she must have been born a farmer in a previous life. My next posting will offer up an assortment of animal pictures and a few other interesting events like the skillet toss.
That’s it for today, installment two will post in 2 days and if you have an interest in farm animals, stop back to visit.
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