Archive for the ‘retail’ Tag
I’ve worked in a retail environment on a number of occasions during my somewhat illustrious career. Here are a few weird facts about retail related businesses and people. I know they may seem hard to believe but trust me when I say these are just the tip of the iceberg for weirdness. Enjoy . . .
Prostitution is legal in Germany; however, income from prostitution is taxed at a slightly higher rate than income from other occupations.
One in 10 Europeans was conceived on an IKEA bed, according to the company.
There are more copies of the IKEA catalog printed each year than the Bible.
The average child recognizes more than 200 company logos by the time they enter elementary school.
One in four homeless people in South Korea has a credit card.
There are approximately 18,000,000 items for sale at any given moment on eBay.
There are approximately $680 worth of eBay transactions every second.
The Malaysian government has banned car commercials featuring Brad Pitt because they are “an insult to Asians.”
First Starbucks opened in Seattle in 1971 at 2000 Western Ave., across.
from the historic Pike Place Market.
A Romanian taxi driver says his business has swelled since he started playing pornographic films in his cab for his customers.
According to market research firm NPD Fashionworld, 50% of all lingerie purchases are returned to the store.
The world’s first bra made completely of chocolate has gone on sale in Austria.
A Serbian tie maker is planning to launch a new range of penis cravats for the man who has everything.
A Colombian airline has promised free flights for life to any baby born on board one of their planes.
The first naked flight was made in 2003 carrying 87 passengers from Miami, Florida, to Cancun, Mexico.
💟💟💟💟💟
HAPPY MOTHER’S DAY TO ALL OF YOU MOTHERS OUT THERE
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Today is what will probably turn into a do-nothing, boring, day of reading, and not much else. We’re still caught in between seasons here in Maine which means the weather is all screwed up and annoying. The snowfall from our recent storm is 90% gone but it’s still awfully cold at night. It’s just cold enough to require heavy clothing that makes you begin to sweat as soon as you put it on. Then you remove it to cool down, get cold, and put the clothing back on and sweat some more. It’s no wonder everyone seems to be suffering either from colds or any one of many flu viruses that seem to be going around.
I’ve spent the last few days at home and only leaving the house for wine or food emergencies. All that means is if I’m short on wine and my favorite foods I will brave the cold and crappy weather regardless. Minor errands or stupid shopping forays are not what I consider an emergency no matter what my better-half tells me.
While I’m thinking about that here are a few dirty jokes to brighten your day. We’ll start with a bar joke. Everyone loves a good and dirty bar joke.
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A guy walks into a pub and sees a sign hanging over the bar that reads: CHEESEBURGER: $1.50 CHICKEN SANDWICH: $2.50 HAND JOB: $10.00 He walks up to the bar and beckons one of the three exceptionally attractive blondes serving drinks. "Can I help you?" she asks. "I was wondering," whispers the man. "Are you the one who gives the hand jobs?" "Yes," she purrs. "I am." The man replies, "Well, wash your hands. I want a cheeseburger."
Having worked for a few retail companies over the years I thought a little retail humor was warranted. I looked for years trying to find a salesman like this.
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A young guy from Nebraska moves to Florida and goes to a big "everything under one roof" department store looking for a job. The Manager says, "Do you have any sales experience?" The kid says, "Yeah. I was a salesman back in Omaha." Well, the boss liked the kid and gave him the job. "You start tomorrow." I’ll come down after we close and see how you did." His first day on the job was rough, but he got through it. After the store was locked up, the boss came down. "How many customers bought something from you today? The kid says, "One". The boss says, "Just one? Our sales people average 20 to 30 customers a day. How much was the sale for?" The kid says, "$101,237.65 ". The boss says, "$101,237.65? What the heck did you sell?" The kid says, "First, I sold him a small fish hook. Then I sold him a medium fishhook. Then I sold him a larger fishhook. Then I sold him a new fishing rod. Then I asked him where he was going fishing and he said down the coast, so I told him he was going to need a boat, so we went down to the boat department and I sold him a twin engine Boston Whaler. Then he said he didn’t think his Honda Civic would pull it, so I took him down to the automotive department and sold him that 4×4 Expedition." The boss said, "A guy came in here to buy a fish hook and you sold him a BOAT and a TRUCK?" The kid said, "No, the guy came in here to buy Tampons for his wife, and I said, ‘Dude, your weekend’s shot, you should go fishing.’"
This joke goes a long way to explain how long term marriages seem to work.
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Husband always insisted on making love in the dark. After 20 years wife turns on the light, finds him holding a vibrator. She goes ballistic, "You impotent bastard! How could you lie to me all these years?" Husband looks her straight in the eyes & calmly says, "I’ll explain the toy, you explain the kids….."
You Think A Gallon Of Gas Is Expensive? This little list makes one think, and may put things in perspective:
Lipton Ice Tea 16 oz $1.19 $ 9.52 per gallon
Ocean Spray 16 oz $1.25 $10.00 per gallon
Gatorade 20 oz $1.59 $10.17 per gallon
Diet Snapple 16 oz $1.29 $10.32 per gallon
Whiteout 7 oz $1.39 $25.42 per gallon
Brake Fluid 12 oz $3.15 $33.60 per gallon
Scope 1.5 oz $0.99 $84.48 per gallon
Pepto-Bismol 4 oz $3.85 $123.20 per gallon
Vick’s Nyquil 6 oz $8.35 $178.13 per gallon
And this is the REAL KICKER . . .
Evian water 9 oz $1.49 $21.19 per gallon!
$21.19 FOR WATER! . . . and most buyers don’t even
know the source. But then again "EVIAN" spelled
backwards is "Naïve."
HAVE A GREAT DAY
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We’ve reached mid-October and I’m starting to see indications of that holiday freight train that is rumbling full speed towards us. I was tasked with an errand last night that required me to pickup my better-half who was attending a wedding of a co-worked in a town north of here. Darkness had fallen and our trip home took us through a number of neighborhoods and small towns. We were within a quarter mile of home when I spotted something that sent a cold shiver down my spine . . . a lighted Christmas tree in front of a neighbor’s home. These neighbors are the newest members of our little community and are folks who love to celebrate each and every holiday with decorations of all sorts hanging from trees, shrubs, and anything else that doesn’t move too much. It can be cute but also it’s also more than a little annoying just like that tree was last night.
During some of my shopping forays in recent weeks I’ve observed the expected Halloween and Thanksgiving craziness but Christmas rearing it’s ugly head this early in October is ridiculous. Having worked for many rears for retail companies I understand the management mentality in getting the jump on competitors. It just seems they’ve all picked up some of the more bothersome bad habits of the king of all retailers, Walmart. They seem to think that anything that Walmart does automatically become the final word in making money. Having spent six months in a Walmart management training program allows me to proclaim that Walmart is just as screwed up as any other company. Their saving grace secret is their size. When you’re as big as Walmart it’s much easier to hide your screw ups and bad decisions.
I have a sneaking suspicion that Sam Walton is probably spinning in his grave after watching what has gone on with his company. On my first day at Sam’s Club I was handed a paperback book on the life and times of their founder Sam Walton. I was ordered to read that book immediately and was questioned heavily on it’s contents throughout the training period. Almost all of the training tapes that were in use were tapes made by Walton himself who at the time had been dead for more than ten years. I was being trained by a dead guy in Walmart’s lame attempt to brainwash me into their world of retail. Just before my graduation from that training program I was on my way to work and wishing I wasn’t. Ten minutes after I arrived I walked into the General Manger’s office and resigned. I walked away and never looked back. They only succeeded in making me unhappy, miserable, and just a little crazy. I’ve never regretted my decision.
This isn’t a rant just about Walmart but a general disappointment with the cynical approach taken by almost every retailer. I think we can thank Wall Street and the Harvard Business School for a lot of these issues. The stock market virtually requires companies to meet expectations regardless of the methods used. The Harvard MBA’s that I’ve been involved with over the years were all young bean-counters of the worst sort. They’d gut a company, fire any number of employees, cut benefits, just about anything to help meet those Wall Street projections. People are just numbers to them and are treated accordingly. Is it any wonder things are the way they are.
So after saying all of that I hope you’re prepared for the avalanche of Christmas nonsense headed your way. Ten glorious weeks of Santa Clause, presents, endless TV commercials, and a hit to your wallet that will be larger than ever before. Oh yeah, I recently heard a nasty rumor that once upon a time Christmas had something to do with religion. How stupid am I?
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On any given day I enjoy relaxing. It’s taken me a lot of years to learn how to relax after spending my working life as a six day a week workaholic. Even as a high stress workaholic I was able to relax but it was just as hard to make time for that as the job itself. I knew when the job and my bosses needed to be ignored and occasionally paid a price for doing just that. I was also ridiculed at times by my workaholic co-workers but I knew where my limits were and tried never to exceed them. Disconnecting from the everyday grind for me was the path to good mental health. I’ve always used the light-switch analogy and have advised more people than I can remember to go home at the end of the day, turn off the work light-switch and just relax.
I watched for years as retail management pushed associates into completing long lists of tasks and if they weren’t accomplished correctly the associates were then criticized for their lack of customer service skills. It was a vicious cycle that produced “task oriented” people in large numbers with a terrible customer service (people) attitude. Associates became brainwashed and unable to feel good about themselves unless their long list of tasks had been completed at work and at home.
“Stop, smell the flowers, and relax.”
I’ve been personality tested by my employers on many occasions. I’m was always considered an “A” type personality who was a great multitasker, knew how to accomplish the goals set by the corporation and to “get the job done”. Little did they know that doing their tasks was the easy part of my day but getting their tasks done quickly and making time for myself was even more difficult. It was a full time job trying to survive my full time job. I was always successful in the job but when I had down time I used it. When I was relaxing I put tasking out of my mind completely and that skill helped maintain my somewhat healthy outlook on things.
I’m now retired but I live with someone who is totally task oriented. She works a full time retail job and she has a difficult time relaxing when she gets home. She feels like her day is a total failure without a long and completed “To Do” list. I’ve been trying desperately for years to get her to turn off that “light switch” when she gets home but have only been moderately successful. I’m nothing if not persistent but she can be just as hard headed as I am. It’s a battle I’ll keep fighting because it needs to be fought.
While personality tests and reading about personality types has been regarded by some as self-indulgent navel gazing, there is a real value that comes from identifying our natural tendencies. Every personality has strengths and weaknesses, and understanding what yours are allows you take advantage of those strengths to overcome the weaknesses.
I was surfing around the Net yesterday and discovered the following list of suggestions to assist those task oriented individuals in their attempts to relax. Balance in life is more important than most people think but many people talk about reaching a balance but never actually try to accomplish it.
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Schedule time to focus on the people around you and commit to setting aside your To-Do list during that time.
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Consciously make eye contact when your husband, partner, or children speak to you so that they have your full attention. Be attentive and focused.
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Go anywhere where you can just enjoy being with your family without the distraction of things that need to be done.
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Look for opportunities to get things done in smaller chunks rather than saving them all up to do at once.
I take and make time to do absolutely nothing. Some people call it meditation and others (task oriented people) call it loafing. Regardless of the name it’s total down time where the mind can rest as well as the body. Just a few minutes a day seems to work for me. I admit I have my work cut out for me with my better-half but I refuse to give up the fight.
RELAX DEAR!
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everyuselessthing.com 