Archive for the ‘dirty little limericks’ Tag
It’s almost too effing hot to do anything. I’m hiding in the man-cave with the fans roaring and it sounds more like an airport runway than a man-cave. It’s as good a day as any to post more of my favorite things: limericks. I normally post limericks by category but not today. Here are a few chosen totally at random from the archives.
💥(1941)
There was a young man from St. Kitt
Who was screwing a spinster, but quit.
Said she, “Don’t be scary,
Its only my cherry,”
But he said, “It feels more like a pit.”
💥💥(1928)
There was a young girl from Samoa
Who determined that no man should know her.
One fellow tried
But she wiggled aside,
And spilled all the spermatozoa.
💥💥💥(1927)
There was a young man of Cape Horn
Who wished he’d never been born.
And he wouldn’t have been
If his father had seen
That the end of the rubber was torn.
💥💥💥💥(1941)
A certain young man of St.Paul
Consistently practiced withdrawal.
This quaint predilection
Created such friction,
He soon had no foreskin at all.
❤️❤️❤️
I HOPE THEY MADE YOU SMILE A LITTLE
I began my morning by reading a number of limericks. For me that’s the only proper way to start a day. I rooted through my book shelves and found what were the remains of a very small book of limericks published in 1980. It is a very small and was packed into the hardcovers with a rubber band. It fell to pieces as I began reading it. The book is titled Dirty Little Limericks and here is the first sentence in the forward which tells you all you need to know, “A good friend of mine – a practicing therapist – has advanced the thesis that the greatest contributions to human health and sanity in the last two hundred years is neither penicillin nor indoor plumbing, but rather the limerick.” I couldn’t agree more. Here are four for your enjoyment.
☘️
There was a young sailor from Brighton
Who remarked to his girl, “You’re a tight one.”
She replied, “Pon my soul,
You’re in the wrong hole;
There’s plenty of room in the right one.”
☘️☘️
There was a young fellow named Skinner
Who took a young lady to dinner.
At a quarter to nine
They sat down to dine;
At twenty to ten it was in her.
Skinner?
No, the dinner.
☘️☘️☘️
There once was a dentist named Stone
Who saw all his patients alone.
In a fit of depravity
He filled the wrong cavity,
And my, how his practice has grown!
☘️☘️☘️☘️
There was a young lady named Riddle
Who had an untouchable middle.
She had many friends
Because of her ends,
Since it isn’t the middle you diddle.
❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
RATED PG – MIND THE KIDDIES!
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