I hesitate to publish this post because it’s sure to irritate and piss off many of my women readers. I also expect that many men will have the opposite reaction and here’s why. Many men and a select percentage of women are attracted to and obsessed by female breasts. This post is meant to be humorous, so anyone disturbed by the content please just exit the blog and continue to live the remainder of your life breast-free. I found this list of euphemisms to be informative as well as funny (LOL) because I’m also a huge fan of women’s breasts. If you like breasts and have a healthy sense of humor just read on.
Babaloos, baby pillows, bazongas, bazooms, bodacious tatas, boobies, bouncers, bra busters, butter bags, cream jugs, cupcakes droopers, fried eggs, garbonzos, grapefruits, hand warmers, headlights, honeydews, hooters, jugs, kajoobies, knockers, love bubbles, lungs, maracas, melons, milk bottles, the milky way, mountains, muffins, peaches, superdroopers, swingers, torpedos, the treasure chest, tremblers, twin loveliness, the twins, the girls, the udders, the upper deck, and of course watermelons.
This is really an incomplete list and I’m sure if I investigated further, I could come up with many more examples. If you’d like to make my life a little easier, drop me a comment with any important nicknames I may have missed. This is of course all done tongue-in-cheek but being a breast afficionado I would gratefully accept any help that is offered.
I love the English language. There are so many strange and interesting euphemisms that I could spend the rest of my life searching through. I recently stumbled onto a list of 228 euphemisms for sexual intercourse. Of course, I won’t be listing them all but here are ten you might find interesting or humorous.
Dance the Buttock Jig
Do a Dicky Dunk
Do a Grumble and Grunt
Buzz the Brillo
Peel Your Best End
Play Pickle-me, Tickle-me
Take a Trip Up the Rhine
Pray With the Knees Upward
Trade a Bit of Hard for a Bit of Soft
Make the Chimney Smoke
And last but not least, here are ten euphemisms for sexual arousal: To Be Hot in the Biscuit, To Be Dripping for It, To Be Rooty, To Be in Season, To Be Constitutionally Inclined to Gallantry, To Have Peas in the Pot, To Be Hunky, To Be Affy, To Be Mashed, and finally To Be Primed.
WELCOME TO THE SEXUAL SIDE OF THE ENGLISH LANGUAGE
I have to admit that my choice of reading materials is vast. I’ll read just about anything I can get my hands on at any given moment. With that in mind, I stumbled upon a book recently filled with euphemisms of all kinds. I’m going to start posting some of these euphemism lists over the next few months because they are hysterically funny. That being said, me being a man, I thought the first list would contain 45 nicknames for penises. Don’t worry girls the list for women’s vaginas is five times as long as the one for men and I’ll be posting that list as we go forward. Speaking for myself, I’ve never ever named my penis. It amazes me that so many men do. Let’s get started . . .
The Bazooka, A Bit of Hard, A Bit of Stiff, The Bone, A Boner, Captain Standish, The Cockstand, Coleen Bawn, Crack a Fat, The Cunt Stretcher, Fixed Bayonets, A Full, The Golden River, A Hard-on, The Horn, In Ones Best Clothes, In One’s Sunday Best, An Irish Toothache, Jack, A Lance at Rest, The Marquess of Porn, Morning Pride, Old Hornington, Old Horny, Be on the Stand, Be Piss Proud, Be Proud Below the Navel, The Rail, The Ramrod, The Reamer, The Rose in Ones Levi’s, The Roaring Horn, Roaring Jack, The Rock Python, The Spike, The Stalk, The Standard, The Standing Member, Standingware,, Stiff and Stout, A Stiff One, Stiffy, A Toothache, A Wood, A Woody . . . .
I’m pretty sure if I were making this list, it wouldn’t be as lame as these. It’s obvious to me that the guys who contributed to this list weren’t all that proud of their little (no pun intended) friend. One more fact for you. I will not be naming my penis in this post. He already knows who he is and needs no further introduction. I promise that if the day comes when I think it’s necessary to ID him, I’ll post it immediately.
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