Archive for the ‘funny’ Tag
I thought I would kick off the Christmas season with a proper limerick: 26 Shopping days to go . . .
There was an old elf named Bing
He was good at only one thing
He was clumsy with tools
And broke all the rules
But boy could that son-of-a-bitch sing.
Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers
Lawyer Says Client Is Not That Guilty
There once was a turkey named Dunn
Thanksgiving, for him, wasn’t fun
He was the main source
Of dinner, of course
And when it was through, he was done.
“When Thanksgiving is misty and murky
And you’re indoors all happy and perky
There’ll be people to greet
Lots of goodies to eat
But just spare a thought for the turkey.”
“The turkey did not turn out fine.
So I thought I would break out the wine.
By dessert they were wasted
From the wine that they tasted
And they all thought the dinner divine.”
“Two Convicts Evade Noose, Jury Hung”
There was a young lady named Jo
Who was serviced four times in a row;
When she cried: “Give me more!”
A weak voice from the floor
Protested: “I just can’t, it’s too sore.”
“Man Struck by Lightning Faces Battery Charge”
In the street, a big lady from Fareham,
Would take out her tits to compare’em;
She explained: As I’m blessed
With great mounds on my chest,
it’s a bit of a shame not to share’em.
