Archive for the ‘isaac asimov’ Tag
I’ve stated many times as to my love for limericks especially those written by Isaac Asimov. Along with Isaac you must give a shout out to John Ciardi as well. He and Asimov had great fun trying to outdo each other with their written limericks. They even jointly published a book about their limerick feud which is a classic. These four limericks were written by John Ciardi for that book in response to a few that Asimov had written. I’ve read their book many times and still enjoy their bawdy humor. I hope you will enjoy it as well.
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The Times tells the world what is doing;
Who’s winning, who’s losing, who’s suing,
Whose striking, who’s stealing,
Who’s dying, whose healing,
But won’t say a word on who’s screwing.
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The girl who is really unbeatable
Is the one with whom sex is repeatable.
Who’s eternally screwable
And always renewable,
And who, most of all, is found eatable.
💥💥💥
There was a young woman named Cora Lee
Who said, “I will do it immorally
On top and bottom,
Any way that I’ve got them,
Vaginally, anally, and orally”.
💥💥💥💥
There once was a wicked old squire
Who burned with libidinous desire.
After screwing a nun
And the minister son,
He took all the girls in the choir.
📕📕📕
THE BOOK IS TITLED – ISAAC ASIMOV & JOHN CIARDI – A WAR OF WORDS
- Abraham Lincoln lost five different elections prior to becoming a United States president.
- There are 13 letters in the Hawaiian alphabet.
- The only word that begins and ends with the letters “und” is the word underground.
- Due to contrasting gravity, a person normally weighing 200 pounds on earth will weigh just 76 pounds on Mars.
- Recycling one glass jar will save enough energy for three hours of television.
- A tsunami can move at the same speed as a jet plane.
- You could fit almost 900,000,000,000,000 footballs into the Grand Canyon.
- Rio de Janeiro means River of January.
- Sometimes when you are sleeping, your brain is busier than when you’re awake.
- The left and right sides of your body are controlled by the opposite sides of your brain.
- In Japan you can buy square watermelons, specifically created to stack more easily in supermarkets.
- Wild lions usually do not kill more than 20 times a year.
- Crocodiles along the banks of the Nile River are accountable for over 1000 deaths per year.
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And last but not least some information that I hope our
current generation of scientists are paying attention to.
1. The First Law of robotics is a robot may not injure a human being or, through inaction, allow a human being to come to harm.
2. The Second Law of robotics is that a robot must obey any orders given to it by human beings, except where such orders would conflict with the First Law.
3. The Third Law of robotics is that a robot must protect its own existence as long as such protection does not conflict with the First or Second Laws.
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SPECIAL THANKS TO ISAAC ASIMOV
I’ve made it clear over the years that I’m a huge fan of Isaac Asimov. I’ve tried to read as many of his writings as I could find, and his limericks are outstandingly bawdy. He also has another talent which I really appreciate and that was his ability to collect odd facts. It never ceases to amaze me how diverse his level of knowledge became over the years, and it still fascinates me. It was one of my motivations for starting this blog because there are just so many interesting odd and weird facts available and most of them never see the light of day. This blog is my way of bringing as many of those facts as possible to light so you all can enjoy them. Today’s topic of discussion will be the world of entertainment. Where else could you find the appropriate amount of weirdness that Asimov so religiously documented. Here we go.
- Not until 1959 was a play by a black woman produced on Broadway. 29-year-old Lorraine Hansberry’s starred in, A Raisin in the Sun, which concerned the problems (comic and serious) of a black family in modern day America. It was highly successful and eventually made into a motion picture.
- The great French actress Sarah Bernhardt was obsessed with death. As a teenager, she made frequent visits to the Paris morgue to look at corpses of derelicts dragged up from the Seine, and she begged her mother to buy her a pretty rosewood coffin with white satin lining. The coffin became part of the Bernhardt legend. Occasionally, she slept in it, and eventually she was buried in it when she died at the age of 79.
- A U.S. television network’s dramatic representation of the trial of Nazi judges was sponsored by the natural gas industry. The word “gas” was excised from the script, but a few “gases” slipped by the censors; those had to be blipped before the program was aired.
- During the pre-Broadway tour of the 1936 musical Red, Hot and Blue, Cole Porter had to do a lot of rewriting. Rather than hire a professional stenographer to take his dictations and transcribe the changes, he used the services of one of the stars of the show, Ethel Merman. Before she went into show business, Ms. Merman had been a secretary. Porter described her as “among the best stenographers I’ve ever had.”
- A tambourinelike instrument used in old time minstrel shows was made from the jawbone of a horse or ass, from which the instrument got its name, “Bones.” When the bone was thoroughly dried, the teeth were so loose they rattled and produced sounds as loud as a castanet. Every minstrel troupe had a “Mr. Bones.”
- Rin Tin Tin, for years the most famous dog in the world, was born to a war-dog mother in a German trench in France during World War I. Deserted when the Germans retreated, the German-shepherd puppy was found by an American officer who just happened to be a police dog-trainer from California. He trained Rin Tin Tin when they returned home. The dog was so intelligent he came to the notice of Warner Brothers Studios, which signed him up for what turned out to be a long career as one of the biggest box office draws of the silent screen era.
I just love these hidden stories and facts and envy Azimov’s ability to research and publish all of them. I’m happy to share them with you and I hope you enjoyed them.
THANKS FOR THE MEMORIES, ISAAC!
No matter what day of the week or month of the year, there’s always time for some of Mr. Asimov’s finely crafted limericks. These will tend to be a bit more off-color than the ones I usually post so keep your kids and prudish spouses clear. This is a really good way to kick off your week. Here we go . . .
Breathed a tender young man from Australia,
“My darling, please let me unveilia,
And then, oh, my own,
If you’ll kindly lie prone,
I will endeavor, my sweet, to impalia.”
😄😄😄
Said a certain young girl of Madrid
Who kept her vagina well hid,
“For a lousy peseta,
I am no fornicata,
But I’ll spring for an adequate bid.”
😲😲😲
“Adultery,” said Joseph, “is nice”.
If once is all right, better twice.
This doubling of rations
Improves my sensations
For the plural of spouse, friend, is “spice.”
😎😎😎
At a nudist camp, sweet little Lillian
Was slated to lead the cotillion.
This made her so proud
That to shine in the crowd
She painted Her nipples vermilion.
😈😈😈
ENJOY YOUR WEEK
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