Archive for the ‘limerick’ Tag

12/15/2021 ***Limerick Alert***   Leave a comment

A remarkable race are the Persians:
They embrace such peculiar diversions;
They make love all day
In the usual way,
And save, till the nights, their perversions.

🌲Christmas Limerick🌲   Leave a comment

Santa’s sleigh and GPS were upgraded this year,

With Alexa in charge of all eight reindeer.

Rudolph rudely told Santa, this change really blows,

As Santa screamed loudly, “Alexa, turn on his freaking nose!”

HO! HO! HO!

🌲Christmas Limerick🌲   4 comments

There once was a woman named Bess
For whom holiday cooking meant stress.
Five puddings, ten turkeys
And a thousand beef jerkeys –
Bess did tend to cook to excess!

🌲Christmas Limerick🌲   Leave a comment

With the holidays on the horizon,

I placed 20 calls to Verizon.

They stuck me on hold

Til my dinner got cold.

And I still absolutely despise them.

🌲Christmas Limerick🌲   Leave a comment

When Rudolph got hurt in a fight
He couldn’t lead Santa that night
Too much Christmas cheer
And eggnog, and beer,
His red nose was shiny, all right!

🌲Christmas Limerick🌲   Leave a comment

The Bad Elf

There was an elf too tired to work,

He called Santa a big fat jerk.

He grabbed up some toys,

Making almost no noise

And fled to Club Med with a clerk.

Posted December 3, 2021 by Every Useless Thing in Humor, Limericks, Sarcasm, Trivia

Tagged with , , ,

🌲Christmas Limerick🌲   Leave a comment

Old Santa got drunk on warm ale

“I’m too old for Christmas” his wail

“But what of the toys

For the good girls and boys?”

“I’ll have Amazon send them by mail!”

Posted December 2, 2021 by Every Useless Thing in Humor, Limericks, Sarcasm

Tagged with , , ,

11/28/2021 🌲Christmas Limerick🌲   Leave a comment

I thought I would kick off the Christmas season with a proper limerick: 26 Shopping days to go . . .

There was an old elf named Bing

He was good at only one thing

He was clumsy with tools

And broke all the rules

But boy could that son-of-a-bitch sing.

Posted November 28, 2021 by Every Useless Thing in Humor, Limericks, Sarcasm

Tagged with , , ,

🍗Thanksgiving Limerick🍗   2 comments

There once was a turkey named Dunn

Thanksgiving, for him, wasn’t fun

He was the main source

Of dinner, of course

And when it was through, he was done.

Posted November 24, 2021 by Every Useless Thing in Cooking, Food Related, Humor, Limericks, Sarcasm

Tagged with , , ,

🍗Thanksgiving Limerick🍗   Leave a comment

“When Thanksgiving is misty and murky

And you’re indoors all happy and perky

There’ll be people to greet

Lots of goodies to eat

But just spare a thought for the turkey.”

Posted November 23, 2021 by Every Useless Thing in Cooking, Food Related, Humor, Limericks, Sarcasm

Tagged with , , ,