Abraham Lincoln lost five different elections prior to becoming a United States president.
There are 13 letters in the Hawaiian alphabet.
The only word that begins and ends with the letters “und” is the word underground.
Due to contrasting gravity, a person normally weighing 200 pounds on earth will weigh just 76 pounds on Mars.
Recycling one glass jar will save enough energy for three hours of television.
A tsunami can move at the same speed as a jet plane.
You could fit almost 900,000,000,000,000 footballs into the Grand Canyon.
Rio de Janeiro means River of January.
Sometimes when you are sleeping, your brain is busier than when you’re awake.
The left and right sides of your body are controlled by the opposite sides of your brain.
In Japan you can buy square watermelons, specifically created to stack more easily in supermarkets.
Wild lions usually do not kill more than 20 times a year.
Crocodiles along the banks of the Nile River are accountable for over 1000 deaths per year.
🤖🤖🤖
And last but not least some information that I hope our
current generation of scientists are paying attention to.
1. The First Law of robotics is a robot may not injure a human being or, through inaction, allow a human being to come to harm.
2. The Second Law of robotics is that a robot must obey any orders given to it by human beings, except where such orders would conflict with the First Law.
3. The Third Law of robotics is that a robot must protect its own existence as long as such protection does not conflict with the First or Second Laws.
I’m feeling somewhat indifferent today. I got up early, had a cup of really godawful coffee which is not a good way to start any day. My lack of interest was exacerbated by the few things I had to accomplish. For those of you that don’t know I drive a 2008 Smart car. It’s a small vehicle on a good day but it’s the only delivery vehicle I have. Here in Maine, we recycle bottles and cans and today was the day for me to cash in all those nickels. I checked my garage and to my surprise I had 7 large bags containing 420 bottles and cans. I then loaded up my Smart car with all seven bags. Every window in the car except for the windshield was partially blocked. I managed to fit everything into the car leaving just enough room for my oversized ass. I had to travel approximately ten miles to the redemption center, and I looked ridiculous. It’s hard to look inconspicuous when you’re driving what appears to be a giant garbage bag with headlights and a windshield. Apparently, the police officer who then stopped me thought it was hysterically funny as well. There were no citations issued but we both had a few laughs about the situation. I hadn’t broken any laws, had all of the required mirrors, and he sent me on my way by standing on the berm and laughing his ass off. Just so you know I cashed in the bottles and cans and then walked next door to the liquor store. I’ll be opening that bottle of gin later because this day has got to get better. Only limericks can raise my spirits and get my day back on track. Here’s two . . .
Today is that day that occurs every six weeks or so and honestly it’s not one of my favorites. Let me explain.
First, regardless of what you know or think you know I’m not a fanatical environmentalist. I’m a former Greenpeace member who bailed out on them when they decided to turn their attentions to banning nuclear power. I’m a former Sierra Club member who decided that any organization that puts the needs of animals before humans regardless of the consequences is too extreme for me. I’m also militantly against organizations like PETA and the idiots that run them.
Now let me confuse you further. Up until 8 years ago I NEVER recycled anything. It wasn’t that I didn’t care about the environment but I just didn’t see any long term benefits that required an investment of my time. I understand the need for it now but for the most part I didn’t take it seriously then.
When I met my better-half and after we decided to be together FOREVER my brainwashing began. In any relationship it’s mandatory that each participant be willing to compromise on certain things to maintain harmony. My better-half is convinced that by recycling she will save the world. Totally naïve but understandable. Unfortunately the town of Saco, Maine where we live apparently agrees with her. We’re now forced to recycle by the local government which in turn gives her even more ammunition to use against me. Separate the paper and plastic into the brown container and all of that good old fashioned trash into the green container. If you don’t obey the rules the town will refuse to pick up your trash. Heil Hitler to you too.
All of my working life experiences and accomplishments have now been turned on their head. Every six weeks or so I’m required to make a trip to a local recycling center to cash in bags of bottle and cans. I was coerced into maintaining those containers at our residence where each days bottles and cans can be collected and stored. Now part of my garage smells suspicious like that dumpy recycling center. If you like the smell of stale beer and garbage you too can be an environmentalist.
We live in a rural area and use a well as our primary source of water. Unfortunately well water is notorious for heavy mineral content and the occasional smell of rotten eggs. So for cooking, coffee making, and normal consumption we use bottled water purchased from local retailers. My new career as forced upon me by my better-half has reduced me to the level of a homeless guy wandering the streets collecting bottles and cans to save a nickel or two.
So every six to eight weeks I bundle up bags of bottles and cans, put the stinky crap in my car, and head out to collect my seven dollars. It supplies me with just enough money to pay for my cat’s needs. His food, treats, and litter are now paid for by my endless recycling efforts. To tell you the truth I’d much rather just pay for it myself and stop all this madness but this is the compromise I must make to maintain this Garden of Eden we live in and all of the benefits it provides.
Oh yeah, I’m also saving the freaking world too. Brother !!!
I had a relatively interesting day today. I was able to accomplish a few things that weren’t planned and somehow those always seem the best. People joke about spontaneity when discussing love and personal relationships but you never hear it in relation to other things. I have to admit that everything usually returns to people relationships but every once in a while it’s possible to be pleasantly surprised by an unplanned encounter.
My first spontaneous conversation and introduction to someone new occurred this morning. On a regular basis I turn into a recycling, take care of the environment, conscientious "Greenie". Every few weeks or so I trek to a place to recycle bottles, cans, and plastic containers. It’s one of my assigned duties from my better-half to religiously collect all this crap, save it in large bags, and then deliver it for CASH. All of a sudden I didn’t mind recycling if there was cash involved. I agreed to this chore as long as all those nickels remained in my pocket and not into the household general fund. And so began my adventures in doing my part to save the freaking environment.
I manage to make about $20.00 every six weeks thanks in great part to my better-half’s beer bottle contributions and a great number of plastic water bottles. Truth be told it’s a huge pain in the ass but I do it to keep peace in the household which makes the effort worthwhile. Also the cat loves it because all of my pet related expenses are paid for from this small but important fund. If by chance we have a party or a lot of visitors during the summer months I might even I be able to embezzle enough of the cat fund for the odd bottle of gin. Don’t tell the cat because he’s a major league nag and I’d never hear the end of it. Any purchases that aren’t Fancy Feast or special treats will really make him hard to live with.
So I arrive at the recycling center which is a cross between a gigantic, stinky and smelly garbage can and a college frat house on Sunday morning. It truly is a disgusting place where no one stays any longer than necessary. As I enter the building dragging two huge bags of containers I bump into Ryan, the man in charge. In his twenties, six foot three, 60’s hairdo (not quite a mullet), raggedy ass clothes, and an odor just a little less awful than the surrounding piles of bottles and cans that are apparently his entire life. He manually sorts through my bags on a large table, plastic here, cans there, brown bottles over there, and white glass over here. He never writes anything down but when he’s finished, he spends a few seconds on a calculator and hands me a credit slip with my total redemption amount.
I was extremely skeptical when I first started using this facility and for the first five or six deliveries I pre-counted them at home just to check their counting procedures. I never found an error. The guy is freaking amazing but always accurate. I made the mistake today of starting a spontaneous conversation to see if I could distract him or trip him up in some way. We talked for approximately ten minutes while he scurried around sorting and checking the containers. He never missed a beat and his count was right on. The downside was the actual conversation because Ryan is really passionate about bottles and he spent those ten minutes telling me how he counts bottles and then a few war stories about some of his more unusual customers and their quirks.
I was trapped like a rat and couldn’t escape. He held me captive and talked about empty bottles until I just wanted to scream. OMFG! I now know way more than I ever wanted to know about his career choice and why he had the best job ever. I picked up my credit slip and got the hell out of there.
It was a smelly and disgusting experience but interesting in it’s own way. As a former business professional I always appreciated people who were passionate about their jobs. My good buddy, Ryan, was as passionate about his job as anyone I’ve ever met. He loves his job and tries desperately hard to excel at it. He actually tries to supply friendly and smiling customer service in an a garbage pile atmosphere which is amazing in and of itself.
I now know I can finally stop pre-counting my contributions because my bottles and containers are in good hands with Ryan. My cat need never worry about starving because Ryan is on the job.
everyuselessthing.com 