Archive for the ‘valentines day’ Tag

2-14-2016 Journal–Avery, Kaiden & Alvin’s Chipmunks!   Leave a comment

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It seems that Winter has finally caught up with us. Up until now it’s been a relatively mild season as far as the snowfall goes. The temps have been up and down but noting too frigid until this weekend. Unlike many of the other northern states we expect to receive a lot of snow but the   temperatures usually don’t go much lower than ten degrees during the coldest months. 

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My father had a quaint old saying for cold weather like we’re seeing this weekend. He always described it as  "cold as a well diggers asshole" and if my mother was nearby it was "as cold as a well diggers elbow".  Below zero temps with a good healthy wind were all of that and a bag of chips.

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Last night my better-half and I spent our night at home babysitting the grandchildren.  We had the good sense to stay inside and not be roaming around in sub-zero temperatures.  The house was warm and cozy, the toddlers were reasonably well behaved, and another viewing of Alvin & the Chipmunks was in the offing (Just shoot me now).

Their parents were having a Valentines Day date night and weren’t expected to return until eleven.  Just as the boys were finally falling asleep and Alvin and the Chipmunks were coming to an end they showed up much earlier than expected. The current temperature at the time was –2 degrees with a wind-chill of -15. It apparently was just too damn cold for them to do much of anything and they’d called it a night.

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It’s now the next morning and I’m almost ready to leave this warm bed.  Hot coffee might give me enough energy to pick up all  the toys scattered throughout the house before having my bowl of hot oatmeal.  I imagine I’ll be stuck in the house for another day or two which doesn’t make me very happy.

I’m moving slower than usual due to a late night awakening where I spent two hours playing X-Box LEGO Star Wars, reading three chapters of my latest book, eating a cookie, and returning to bed at 5am.  This insomnia I’ve been suffering with for the last two months is just killing me.

02-10-2016 Journal – February is Boring!   3 comments

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February it seems is a rather boring and utterly useless month.  It’s two biggest holidays are Groundhog Day and Valentines Day which says a lot about relevance to me.

It’s such a slow short month that all of our overpaid politicians are forced into action to show the electorate they’ll actually are doing something, even if it’s in February. I can’t list all of the observance that have been piled up into the shortest month of the year because there are just too damn many. The following partial list contains a few weekly observances for this week that will help make my point.

Celebration of Love Week: 7-13th

Children of Alcoholics Week: 7-13th

Congenital Heart Defect Awareness Week: 7-14th

Dump Your Significant Jerk Week: 7-13th

Have A Heart for A Chained Dog Week: 7-14th

Jell-O Week: 7-13th

National Secondhand Wardrobe Week: 7-13th

Love Makes the World Go Round; But, Laughter Keeps Us From Getting Dizzy Week: 8-14th

I can just see and hear a group of politicos sitting in a local tavern on any given Friday night telling war stories to each other concerning all of their weeks accomplishments. "I finally got that ‘Dump Your Jerk Week’ observance passed. It’s been a year of hard work getting it pushed through and I was forced to call in all of my IOU’s to do it. It was exhausting work but someone had to finally get it done."  His buddy sitting nearby had to do a little one-upmanship, "I had a tough week too. That observance of ‘Love Makes the World Go Round; But, Laughter Keeps Us From Getting Dizzy Week’ was a killer. I spent six months arm twisting damn near everyone to get it passed. The United States is now a better place for it." 

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I found only two daily observance for February 10th and they are just as stupid.  I had to look up the word PLIMSOLL to discover it’s some sort of an athletic shoe. Who knew?

Plimsoll Day

All The News That’s Fit To Print Day

So a great big THANK YOU goes out to those geniuses responsible for cluttering up our lives with more useless crap.  We shouldn’t be allowed to vote until we’ve been made to review all of these stupid observances to find out what politicians are responsible for them.

AND THANKS TO NH FOR KICKING HILLARY’S ASS.

01-06-2015 Journal–Winter Cleaning   Leave a comment

After having a couple of weeks of beautiful sunny and moderately warm weather, the fun is apparently over. These last few days have brought winter back to us with a freaking vengeance. It started two days ago with just four or five inches of snow which living in Maine isn’t all that much.  Then came the freezing rain which put down a sheet of ice on top of the snow.  Then it decided to just rain for a while to make things even worse.

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I was so thrilled to be able to pay some much needed attention to my poor lonely snowblower. Everything was fine until the cold air arrived from somewhere near the arctic circle. For the last twenty-four hours the temperature continued to drop with wind chills ending up well below zero.  They say, those dumb ass weather people, that it will continue for another day and will warm up just in time for the first of two snowstorms working their way towards us.  Hooray for me! Couple that with my soon to be experienced colonoscopy and 2015 is already not my most favorite year. I could say it’s becoming a real pain in the ass but that pun’s even too corny for the likes of me.

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Since all of the snow, sleet and rain have eliminated any possibility of my starting a forest fire I made the decision to clean out my workshop and to have a cute little bonfire to get rid of the wood scraps.  I figured even this stupid town we live in wouldn’t attempt to arrest me for failing to obtain a burning permit. That’s just another one of those small fine-print freedoms we’ve lost somewhere along the way.  The job was done and the fire was very satisfying for some unknown reason, maybe because I got one over on the town government.  Now I can start my bathroom remodel and have enough room left in the workshop to actually do it.

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‘’Early Spring Cleaning’

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‘Burn Baby Burn’

As I mentioned a week ago my better-half and I decided that we’d make further use of the former Christmas tree throughout this entire new year.  We put Christmas to bed this week and packed away all of the decorations for another year. We’ve been slowly collecting appropriate decorations for the next celebration which is the Super Bowl. Unfortunately the Steelers (our favorite team) have been eliminated from the playoffs this year but they’ll be properly honored on our Super Bowl tree.  After that’s over we can then plan our decoration of the Valentine’s Day tree.

I’ll be supplying photos of these trees as they happen and yes I know it sounds a little crazy. I’ve always been a big fan of crazy especially outside-the-box crazy.   It’s time to turn this year around after a suspiciously sucky start.

02-14-2013   1 comment

Valentines Day is over as I write this and we’ve had a great day.  My better-half had the day off so we spent the first few hours in bed this morning exchanging cards and gifts and making good use of our quality time.  It’s more difficult than I ever thought it would be to have time together. Her schedule makes it somewhat difficult but we’re dealing with it.

Being the loving person that I am I then volunteered to make us a breakfast of bacon, eggs, toast, coffee, and a jar of our home made rhubarb jam.  It really started the day off right and gave us a chance to catch up on a host of other matters.  We’re trying to make plans for an interesting vacation this summer, where to go, for how long, and all of the other preparations that need to be discussed.

We spent the remainder of the day running errands and just having fun together.  We picked up groceries for our evening meal and returned home late in the afternoon.  Our late dinner consisted of two excellent steaks, a pile of fried onions, a huge salad, and a bottle of pretty decent wine.  We then retired to the living room to watch a new movie I just received as a Valentines Day gift.  I laughed until I cried as "Ted" took over our reality for a couple of hours.  For me there is nothing better than lot of laughter and we enjoyed the hell out of that movie. She had to be at work at 5:30 am so she was off to bed soon after the movie ended.

I planned to remain awake for just another hour or so to give her a chance to get to sleep and was able to read five or six chapters of a new book I just started.  The cat arrived in the living room at his regularly scheduled time, climbed up on the chair, and wished me a Happy Valentines Day in his own weird feline way.  He also let me know in no uncertain terms that it was time for bed.  I opened the bedroom door and he immediately joined her there.

I ended up reading for quite a while and before I knew it it was 2:00 am.  I completed a quick check of the house. picked up a glass of wine, and walked out onto the front deck for a few minutes.  It was really cold but the night was crystal clear.  I sat for a while on a small bench we left out for these occasions and enjoyed the cold air and the absolute quiet. One of the joys of living in a rural area is the total lack of human background noise which we can only hear if the wind shifts in just the right direction.   The cat stuck his nose out the door but refused to join me.  I thought someone with a nice thick fur coat like his wouldn’t be put off by the cold all that much but he was.  He casually returned to the bedroom to enjoy his most favorite thing, the electric blanket.  He was down for the night finally.

All things considered it was a really wonderful Valentines Day.  I hope we have many more just like it.

Posted February 15, 2013 by Every Useless Thing in Just Saying

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02-12-2013   Leave a comment

It’s Valentines Day Eve Eve and I think it’s time to take a closer look at our “Day of Love”.  Let’s see, how about some facts on what it will cost you to make the love of your life smile this year.  First a little history and then we’ll explore the anticipated costs of your love. for that special person in your life.

The history of Valentines Day goes way back:

  • The roots of St. Valentine’s Day can be traced back to the Roman fertility festival of Lupercalia. On Lupercalia, a young man would draw the name of a young woman in a lottery and would then keep the woman as a sexual companion for the year. (This is a lottery you don’t want to lose.)
  • In the Middle Ages, young men and women drew names from a bowl to see who their valentines would be. They’d wear these names on their sleeves for one week. Today, to wear your heart on your sleeve means being open and demonstrative with your affections. (A little bit of trivia for you.)

  • The Catholic Church struck St. Valentine’s Day from its official calendar in 1969.  (Leave it up to the church to be on top of such sinful behavior.)

  • The phrase "Sweets for the sweet" is a line from Shakespeare’s Hamlet, Act 5, Scene 1.  (I knew reading Shakespeare would pay off some day.)

Never underestimate the power of the almighty dollar.  With continuous aggressive campaigns from both greeting card companies and candy manufacturers we don’t stand a freaking chance. Their drumbeat of Valentines Day propaganda has created such a financial windfall they’re forced to keep it going for the survival of their companies.  Who pays the bill? Mostly we men do. Here’s the financial estimates":

  • The average American will spend $119.67 on Valentine’s Day this year, up from $100.89 last year.
  • Men spend almost twice as much on Valentine’s Day as women do. This year, the average man will spend $156, while the average woman will only spend $85.  (This double standard sucks.)

  • Teachers receive the most valentines, followed by kids, mothers, wives and sweethearts.

  • Over 50 percent of all Valentine’s Day cards are purchased in the six days prior to the holiday.

  • One billion valentines are sent each year worldwide, making it the second largest card-sending holiday of the year behind Christmas. Women purchase approximately 85 percent of all valentines (What a surprise!).

  • More than one-third of men would prefer not receiving a gift. Less than 20 percent of women feel the same way.

  • Around this season, a dozen long-stemmed roses can cost an average of $75, or about 30% more than the normal price of $58. (It’s just a coincidence the costs increase every February.)

  • More than nine million pet owners are expected to buy gifts for their pets this Valentine’s Day. (Morons!)

  • 15 percent of U.S. women (just the losers) send themselves flowers on Valentine’s Day.

The Valentine’s Day money making machine also effects many other connected businesses who need to keep this holiday on everyone’s mind.

  • According to the condom company Durex, condom sales are highest around Valentine’s Day, which are 20 percent to 30 percent higher than usual.
  • More at-home pregnancy tests are sold in March than in any other month.

While the men in the US seem to pay a majority of the Valentines Day expenses my sympathies go out to the Japanese as well. In Japan, women are expected to give chocolate and other gifts to their men on Valentine’s Day. This tradition was started as a marketing campaign by a number of Japanese chocolate companies, of course. Men aren’t off the hook though, they’re expected to return the favor to their ladies on March 14th, commonly known as White Day.

I hope this helps put Valentines Day into it’s proper perspective for you.  If you follow the unspoken rules laid down by years of tradition and retail propaganda you’ll get to see that big smile on your loved ones face for a least a day.

Happy Valentines Day

Posted February 13, 2013 by Every Useless Thing in Just Saying

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