The English language has flourished over the centuries and new words and expressions have creeped into the lexicon all the time. I’ve been fortunate, I think, to have traveled across the United States many times during my career. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve heard the sayings or clichés that were the same but had totally different meanings depending on the area of the country. I’m going to give you a few examples today that you’ve likely heard many times in your life but never knew the origins of them. I found some of this information really interesting, I hope you did too.
“ANOTHER NAIL IN THE COFFIN”
This depressing phrase is applied to a development that makes the situation progressively worse. The “final nail” can also be compared with the “last straw”, but the meaning remains the same. This saying was originally adopted by smokers as early as the 1920s. They referred to cigarettes as “coffin nails” and this expression became the stock response when someone accepted yet another cigarette. At the time they were referring to the hazards of a smoker’s cough; the links between smoking, cancer and heart disease were only recognized later (when cigarettes earned another wonderful nickname, “cancer sticks”).
“ANTS IN ONE’S PANTS“
This cliché is said to describe an excessively restless or over-eager person. The US Army General, Hugh S. Johnson, was in charge of the National Recovery Administration (NRA) In 1933 for FDR. He said of the NRA general counsel, Donald Richburg: “Donald’s agitation is just a symptom of the ants of conscience in his pants.”
“THE BOTTOM LINE“
It is the main point of an argument, the basic characteristic of something, the actual value of a financial deal, or the truth of the matter. The phrase itself was originally an accounting term and referred to the figure at the end of a financial statement, indicating the net profit or loss of the company. The term gained wide usage during the 1970s, possibly because of its frequent use by Secretary of State, Henry Kissinger. He often spoke of “the bottom line” as the eventual outcome of a negotiation – ignoring the distraction of any incidental details.
After receiving a few requests, it’s time for more retro bumper stickers. I’ve actually found a number of them that I’m in the process of having reprinted for my own use. I could be convinced to stick them on a few cars whose drivers have aggravated me. I’m also working on one for people who park inappropriately, to stick on their windshields. I’m a baaaad man.
As I was driving home this morning from the dentist’s office I was listening to the latest news from the Ukraine and Russia. I was thinking, what would President Biden do if something like this were to happen here. It’s not that I’m not a big fan of Biden, which I’m not, I just don’t think any politician that I know of currently would know exactly what to do in this type of situation. Out of all of the people involved Putin is the only one with a World War II mindset, and a real lack of concern for the deaths and destruction that he is causing. Most of our World War II politicians are either out of office or dead. Unfortunately, you need somebody who thinks like he does and won’t hesitate to return all the nastiness right back at him. Leadership is something you can’t really teach. True leaders have a knack in their dealings with people and how they problem solve. Here are few opinions on leadership you might find interesting.
“The leader holds his position purely because he is able to appeal to the conscience and to the reason of those who support him, and the boss holds his position because he appeals to fear of punishment and hope of reward. The leader works in the open, and the boss in covert. The leader leads, and the boss drives.” Theodore Roosevelt
“A genuine leader is not a searcher for consensus but a molder of consensus.” Martin Luther King Jr.
“I was only the servant of my country and had I, at any moment, failed to express her unflinching resolve to fight and conquer, I should at once have been rightly cast aside.” Winston Churchill
“Your position never gives you the right to command. It only imposes on you the duty of so living your life that others can receive your orders without being humiliated.” Dag Hammarskjöld
HOPE AND PRAY SOMETHING LIKE THIS NEVER OCCURS HERE
I normally don’t like to write about politics. Years ago, that’s all I was interested in, but finally common sense prevailed. Today my post will be a little political but coming from a completely new direction. I’m going to talk today about presidents and some of the statistics and trivial facts that aren’t readily known.
We’ve has 47 presidents (counting Grover Cleveland twice).
The average age of our presidents at the date of Inauguration was 56.23 years.
The average life expectancy of the presidents has been 72.2 years.
George Washington wanted Americans to address him as “His Mightiness the President.”
While he was president, Franklin Pierce was arrested for running down an elderly woman in his carriage. He was later found not guilty.
President Warren G. Harding exercised regularly by playing ping-pong.
Herbert Hoover was the first president to have a telephone in his office. Earlier, presidents who wanted to use the phone had to use the one in the hall.
Grover Cleveland, 22nd president, was the first one to leave the country while in office. But he didn’t go far. He sailed into international waters 3 miles off the United States coast and did a little fishing and then returned.
Andrew Jackson, known for his colorful language, apparently taught his pet parrot to curse. When Jackson died in 1845, the parrot was brought to his funeral. It swore at him through the entire service.
It was so cold at Ulysses S. Grant’s inauguration that the canaries that were supposed to sing during the inaugural ball froze to death.
Right after I awoke this morning, I got online and was watching a blurb from one of Sarah Silverman’s podcasts. I’ve always been a fan of Silverman and I appreciate her views on a lot of subjects and love her comedy. She was talking briefly about being taken to task by Paris Hilton for some jokes made a number of years ago when Hilton seemed to be on every TV, every hour, and was just annoying as she could be. Sarah doesn’t need me to defend her because she’s more than capable of doing that job all by herself. I just thought I’d make a few comments of my own and exercise my Freedom of Speech. Please Ms. Hilton, “Shut the hell up”. I’m certain you will make sure you get as much media coverage as you can now that you’re a reformed celebrity and a wife. I’d better not see any honeymoon videos accidently released to the media as has happened a few times in the past. Just to let everyone know how I really see her, read a few of her ridiculous pearls of wisdom she insisted on sharing with the world.
“Every woman should have four pets in her life. A mink in her closet, a jaguar in her garage, a tiger in her bed, and a jackass who pays for everything.”
There’s nobody in the world like me. I think every decade has an iconic blonde, like Marilyn Monroe or Princess Diana and, right now, I’m that icon.”
“I don’t think there’s ever been anyone like me that’s lasted.”
William Penn Adair Rogers (November 4, 1879 – August 15, 1935) was an American vaudeville performer, actor, and humorous social commentator. He was born as a citizen of the Cherokee Nation, in the Indian Territory (now part of Oklahoma) and was known as “Oklahoma’s Favorite Son”.By the mid-1930s, he was hugely popular in the United States for his leading political wit and was the highest paid of Hollywood film stars. He died in 1935 with aviator Wiley Post when their small airplane crashed in northern Alaska.
That last paragraph is the current description of this man but barely does him justice. He and Mark Twain have always been my two favorite philosophers. I’ve read the writings of many of the ancient philosophers, but they are difficult to relate to. These two men always used wisdom delivered with biting humor to make their points and it was magical. Here is just a small sampling of his quotes which still ring true here in the twenty-first century. Enjoy . . .
“After eating an entire bull, a mountain lion felt so good he started roaring. He kept it up until a hunter came along and shot him… The moral: When you’re full of bull, keep your mouth shut.”
“When I die, I want to die like my grandfather who died peacefully in his sleep. Not screaming like all the passengers in his car.”
“Democrats are the only reason to vote for Republicans.”
“The short memories of the American voters is what keeps our politicians in office.”
“If America ever passes out as a great nation, we ought to put on our tombstone: America died from a delusion she had Moral Leadership.”
“The taxpayers are sending congressmen on expensive trips abroad. It might be worth it except they keep coming back.”
“If you want to be successful, it’s just this simple. Know what you are doing. Love what you are doing. And believe in what you are doing.”
“If there are no dogs in Heaven, then when I die, I want to go where they went.”
“Last year we said, ‘Things can’t go on like this’, and they didn’t, they got worse.”
“A man only learns by two things; one is reading, and the other is association with smarter people.”
“Even if you’re on the right track, you’ll get run over if you just sit there.”
I’m a little depressed today after reviewing the maneuverings of Putin in Russia. His attempts to reconstruct the old USSR continue. I think that’s a foolish goal and will do nothing except destroy the economies of millions of people and caused the deaths of thousands more. Putin is old school, and he thinks and acts like it’s still World War II. Thinking like the KGB operative he once was he’s sure he’s the baddest guy on the block. The day will come when he’ll be forced to recognize that the days of the KGB and the USSR are over. He’s following in the footsteps of Russia’s worst enemy and is making the Ukraine the new Poland. Fortunately for the world, tyrants almost never meet a happy end. Here are a few additional thoughts on tyrants.
Aristotle (384-322 B.C.)
“It is an is characteristic of a tyrant to dislike everyone who has dignity or independence; he wants to be alone in his glory, but anyone who claims a like dignity or asserts his independence encroaches upon his prerogative and is hated by him as an enemy to his power.”
“A tyrant should also endeavor to know what each of his subjects says or does, and should employ spies . . . For the fear of informers prevents people from speaking their minds, and if they do, they are more easily found out. Another art of the tyrant is to sow quarrels among the citizens.”
Joseph Campbell (1904-1987)
“The tyrant is proud, and therein resides his doom. He is proud because he thinks of his strength as his own; thus, he is in the clown role, as a mistaker of shadow for substance; it is his destiny to be tricked.”
It’s time for another day of limericks. I’ve been lucky enough to have most of the limericks in my files categorized by type. The list of types involves thousands of limericks and today’s topic will be “Virginity”. Since everyone has been a virgin at one time in their life, we should all enjoy these little tidbits of bawdy rhymes.
🏆🏆🏆
“Competition is keen, you agree,”
Said an ancient old flapper from Dee,
So, she dyed her gray tresses,
Chopped a foot from her dresses,
And her reason you plainly can see.
🥇🥇🥇
The bride went up the aisle
In traditional virginal style,
But they say she was nary
An innocent charity,
But a whore from the banks of the Nile.
🎖🎖🎖
There was a young girl named Anheuser
Who said that no man could surprise her.
But Pabst took a chance,
Found Schlitz in her pants,
And now she is sadder Budweiser.
❤❤❤
A lisping young lady named Beth
Was saved from a fate worse than death.
Seven times in a row,
Which unsettled her so
That she quit saying “No” and said “Yeth”.
🥉🥉🥉
You just can’t beat those old-style limericks. I think I actually enjoy them more than most of the newer versions.
I’m too much of a cynic to be a big believer in superstitions. They’re fun to talk about and laugh about but only a small percentage of people actually believe most of that nonsense. We’ve all heard about “don’t walk under ladders” or “black cats crossing our path”, and dozens more. I happened upon some additional information that I’d never heard before concerning the everyday common egg. You can believe what you will, I’m just spreading the word for fun.
Superstitions about eggs are still held, particularly in rural farming areas. One such belief is that if you see many broken eggs, you will soon have a lawsuit on your hands.
If you find a snake’s egg in a hen’s nest, your friends are really your enemies.
It is bad luck to bring a wild bird’s egg into the house.
If a woman dreams of eggs, she will quarrel with her friends.
Two yolks in one egg means good luck for the one who eats them. Folks who only buy eggs fresh from the farm will have the opportunity to find these. Factory examinations these days usually eliminate double yellow yolkers.
Eggs laid on Friday will cure stomach aches. Of course, only folks who keep laying hens know when the eggs are actually laid. This superstition is impossible to follow in heavily populated urban areas.
In some parts of the Middle East if you buy a new car, you have to kill a chicken and pour the blood on it. The chickens’ blood was thought to ward off any evil spirits that may be lurking in the vehicle.
Throughout human history, more eggs have been eaten raw rather than cooked! Eggs have always been a chief source of protein for primal humans and still are in most cultures. Americans often drink raw eggs in eggnog, flavored with a taste of vanilla and doused with whipped cream, another source of protein.
As I’m sure you can recall over the last few decades eggs were first vilified as being unhealthy and a few years later some illustrious scientists changed their minds. All of a sudden eggs became a healthy addition to our diet. So much for the credibility of governmental and scientific experts. I simply love eggs, always have and always will. If eating large numbers of eggs is going to kill me, so be it (I think the bad water and air will get me first). At least I’ll die with a smile on my face because I just love eggs (with lots of bacon, of course).
I have what I think is a healthy sense of humor. It can be bawdy at times, unfunny at times, but well used at all times. I love people who can make me laugh and I love making others laugh. It’s one of the few joys I have, and I try to use it as often as possible. I have a new appreciation for standup comedians since I now have one in the family. Being funny all the time is extremely hard work but it’s really worth the time spent. It’s been said that laughter is the “best medicine” and while that is true it also serves many other purposes. The following paragraph was written by George Orwell the well-known author of 1984. It makes for some thought-provoking ideas. Every aspiring comedian should read this before each show. Enjoy . . .
“A thing is funny when – in some way that is not actually offensive or frightening – it upsets the established order. Every joke is a tiny revolution . . . Whatever destroys dignity and brings down the mighty from their seats, preferably with a bump, is funny.”
Eric Arthur Blair
Eric Arthur Blair (25 June 1903 – 21 January 1950), known by his pen name George Orwell, was an English novelist, essayist, journalist and critic. His work is characterized by lucid prose, biting social criticism, and a total opposition to totalitarianism.
everyuselessthing.com 