Archive for the ‘Just Saying’ Category
I’m not sure how everyone else was raised to celebrate Christmas but for me it entailed much more religion than anything else. My late Mother was Catholic through-and-through which translated into sending religious Christmas cards, attending midnight masses, and donating time to local organizations involved with decorating town areas. Being a kid I was unceremoniously volunteered to help with almost everything she did whether I liked it or not.
As we age things things tend to change a little and my approach to Christmas certainly did. I was never all that interested in the religious portion of Christmas but I went begrudgingly along just to please my Mom until I reached the ripe old age of 13. Then I became what some people called, difficult. I must have been way ahead of my time if what I’ve learned this week is any indication.
My three year old grandson came to visit this week and it was the first time he’d actually seen our decorated tree. We’d been very busy wrapping gifts and there were a pile of them under the tree. I was sitting on the floor next to him when he whispered to me "Are those our prizes?" I told him they were presents for everyone brought here a little early by a busy Santa. He gave me a long sideways glance while he thought about what I’d said. He must have decided Santa was still a real possibility so the conversation turned right back around to the gifts under the tree. I was again corrected by the little guy with "Grandpa those are prizes not presents" and “can we open one.” I told him they couldn’t be opened until Christmas but he insisted one of them had to be for him so we should open that one. Being chastised by a three year old takes some getting used to but I persevered and again refused his request.
My first thought was who put the word “prize” into his head. Neither my better-half nor I would do it and I’m certain his parents wouldn’t do it either. That leaves just the woman who runs the daycare center and I’m positive she wasn’t responsible. Who’s left? Just that small herd of little people who have nothing better to do all day than to play, fight, wrestle, nap, and tell each other the facts of life as translated from what they’ve heard at home. Some where along the way someone slipped in the word "prizes" and it seems to have stuck.
There was no mention of Jesus, his birthday, the Magi, church or religion. It’s taken less than two generations to wean the kids from religion at Christmas to a more secular and materialistic outlook. I suppose in another two years we’ll be calling Christmas "Prize Day". If you’re a good little boy/girl you win a prize but if you’re a bad little girl/boy you’ll get one anyway. We wouldn’t want you to feel like a loser.
5 SHOPPING DAYS LEFT
I’ve talked a great deal over the years about my experiences while serving in the Army. As with any young man or woman serving outside of this country, being away from home and family during the Christmas season for the first time is difficult. In my case I was not only away from family, I was in a non-Christian county that seemed to be more than a little primitive to me.
Their religion was primarily Buddhist and the Christmas holiday meant very little to them. They at times pretended to understand but that was motivated entirely by their desire to make money from visiting Americans.
At the time I was stationed in an area that was primarily populated by rice farmers living in small villages that dotted the northern countryside. There were no paved roads and most villages only had electric power for a few hours a day. For those of us from the United States it was like traveling back in time a hundred years.
I was living almost full time in a local village and actually had my laundry taken to a local river where it was beaten on the rocks with wooded paddles and soap. That certainly took some getting used to for me. My Korean friends seemed totally befuddled by the entire Christmas holiday bro-ha-ha and sat silently as I tried to explain it to them. They were interested in my stories of Christ and the Magi, but the virgin birth story had them all silently giggling a little.
Regardless I was determined to have a Christmas celebration so I asked a few of my them for their help in putting up a Christmas tree. They agreed to help but weren’t exactly sure what I was up to. As that project was progressing I had a little old mama-san ask me through an interpreter why would any sane person put a tree inside their home. I was hard pressed to answer her because I didn’t know the reason either. They continued to humor me as I explained other peculiarities that they couldn’t quite grasp.
A week or so later with two Korean friends I hiked up a nearby mountain near a small Buddhist temple to find a tree. We ended up dragging back the sorriest looking bush you could ever imagine, set it up in my hooch, and started to decorate it as best we could. There was a hand-made star on top of the tree (my doing) and a number of pieces of charcoal tied to the branches with twine (their doing). I never had that fully explained to me but it was what they wanted to do. It had something to do with good luck or good pregnancy or something. Since we had no electricity they suggested placing candles in and around the tree but I nixed that immediately. The last thing we needed was to burn down my hooch and a portion of the village when a little, dry, and nasty looking tree, bust into flames.
I had some GI decorations I made from C-rations that looked stupid as hell but they loved it. Later we ate most of the decorations and drank a bottle of really cheap brandy that I’d brought along for the occasion. I presented them each with a small gift of candy and got a little kiss on the cheek from everyone.
I was still a little homesick but that weird little celebration came to mean a lot to me over the years. It was cozy, friendly, and more than a little strange but it was also genuine. They forever became part of my extended family because they’d made an effort to help get me through a very difficult time. Christmas, the holiday, had very little meaning to them but they realized how important it was to me.
I still wonder to this day if any of them have fond memories of that night and think about it occasionally. I also hope that all of my comrades-in-arms who are away from home this Christmas are lucky enough to find some friends like I did.
Please keep them all in your thoughts and prayers.
14 SHOPPING DAYS LEFT TIL THIS ONE
The electric blanket remains at level six this morning as I lounge here and try to decide what this day will bring. The better-half works only a half day today which I fear means more Christmas shopping in my immediate future. Fortunately I recharged my Kindle and my Surface last night and feel I’m ready for almost anything.
I suspect I’ll end up sitting in front of the computer for the afternoon as I’ve been doing for most of the last week. I’m preparing and editing some of the blog postings from the last year that will be included in a blog book I’m having made. I do this each year and have collected quite the library. It does take an investment of time but I love having the ability to go back to my library to insure I’m not repeating things over and over again and boring my readers.
Once that little project is completed I can return to the sorting and indexing of my archive of photographs. I currently have almost twenty thousand pics which need reviewing. I’m determined to eliminate everything that isn’t just perfect which will take a great deal of time. Since I have most of those pictures already backed up on my personal cloud, I’ll be able to recover a great deal of hard drive space on my desktop which is badly needed. I’ll also need to stock up on more extra strength Tylenol to help me with the headaches I anticipate are to come. It doesn’t take much screen time to put a severe strain on my eyes.
With Thanksgiving just two days away I’m in no rush to accomplish much. The better-half and I can relax for a few days after enjoying our laid back holiday celebration. She’s already mentally preparing herself for Black Friday, Cyber Monday, and all of the other shopping days that have been created to allow retailers to pelt us with junk mail, TV ads, and spam. I like spending time with her but any shopping done in and around Thanksgiving is not all that enjoyable for me. I get a little claustrophobic in large crowds and prefer to avoid them whenever possible.
I’m about to spring into action but every time I try to get up the bed and that damn electric blanket keep calling me back. The coffee is starting to kick-in which will eventually force me to my feet and to get ready for the day.
ENJOY YOUR HOLIDAY
I’m one of those boring people who feels the need to constantly examine my life. I look at my past and judge myself, I look at my present and judge myself, and finally I look at my possible futures and judge that too. Also if I’m given the opportunity I’ll judge you as well. So not only am I a borderline addictive personality I’m a bit judgmental.
I’ve always suspected I had issues with addiction but never tried to delve into the why’s and wherefores until now. My list of addictions is long and began back when I was just an newborn infant. Here’s my list from my formative years in no particular order of importance:
Breathing
Breasts
Breast milk
Diapers
I was able to finally work through those minor addictions without the assistance of an expensive rehab program. I was well on my way to puberty where my list began to grow and become more interesting.
Breasts
Legs
Butts
Pornography
Sex
Puberty not only changed me physically but also intellectually. I understood at age thirteen that these addictions unlike my toddler list would likely become permanent. And guess what? I was somewhat correct. I resigned myself to learning to live with my addictions and to make the best of them. It was a dirty job but I stepped up and made the required personality adjustments to deal with them.
My teen years were interesting and a little frightening. My list again changed but was still manageable:
Sex
Breasts
Legs
French Blondes
Cigarettes
Beer
Pornography
College brought more changes and not all of them good. As the list increased so did my stress levels as you can plainly see:
Sex
Oral Sex
Brunettes
Blondes
Red Heads
Breasts
Beer
Whiskey
Marijuana
Wine
I learned a lot in those years but realized my life was in a rut so I dropped out of college and enlisted in the Army one step ahead of the draft board. This began another long, interesting, and scary adventure. Once more my list expanded a bit:
Sex
Oral sex
Oriental Women
Black Hair
Whiskey
Coffee
Cigarettes
Beer
Marijuana
Speed
Adrenaline
Wine
I returned home a few years later, much wiser and a much less addicted person. I was able to rid myself of many of my stupid addictions over the next two decades. Here are the final results after many years of really hard work:
Any Sex
Breasts
Coffee
Reading
Photography
Computers
Chocolate
Wine
Exercise
As you can see most of the exciting addictions in my life have slowly faded away. They were fun while they lasted but were discarded when they became dangerous or harmful. I’m now a much wiser and more boring person and I have to admit as I sit here quietly judging myself, I miss some of them a lot.
My list is certainly smaller but less dangerous and easily managed now. I expect this final list will remain with me forever.
The only addiction that stayed with me from infancy to the present day are “Breasts”. There’s no rehab programs to help me deal with them and I’m pretty happy about that. So thanks again Mom for the one lifelong addiction I’ve enjoyed the most and will continue to enjoy until the lid slams shut. I’d love to see the 12 step program for that addiction.
I know one thing for sure, I’d never miss a meeting.
Have you gotten your flu shot yet? For the last month I’ve been receiving emails from damn near everyone reminding me to do so. OMFG . . . every year it’s the same damn thing. It seems everyone on this planet knows how to keep me healthy better than I do. Up until three years ago I’d never had a flu shot but finally gave into all of the pressure from friends, family, insurance companies, and doctors.
Four years ago I came down with a wicked case of the flu that actually was so bad I thought I was going to die. Since fear is the ultimate motivator for us poor humans I decided to finally give in and get flu shots on a regular basis.
I understand how the shots are supposed to work but as with all things I’ve become somewhat skeptical. I have very low expectations of most people because they insist on telling me things that forward their agendas instead of my own. People say I’m too cynical, skeptical, and pragmatic but after years of experience I’ve found myself correct more often than not.
I made my way to Rite-Aid a few weeks ago with a note from my insurance carrier and a pat on the head from Medicare. The process was simple, straight forward, and before I knew it I was in, inoculated, and done. Then I sat down and began to peruse the pile of paperwork they handed me. A rather nice young lady took some of her valuable time to tell me about some of the possible symptoms I could expect. First, within 48 hours my arm would be a sore and might stiffen up a little. In a week after that I would likely have issues with headaches and possibly a minor fever. I thought for a minute that I was flashing back on one of those hundreds of TV drug commercials we’re bombarded with. I sat patiently waiting for her to include anal leakage as one of my symptoms but she never did . . . thank God.
It’s now two weeks later and I’m going through my list of symptoms right on schedule. I had the required sore arm for a few days which was annoying but not too terrible. I could still pick my nose but it hurt a little. The arm remained sore for almost a week until the headaches kicked in. The arm still hurt but I was more concerned about the headache that was threatening to blow the top of my head off. I’ve never been prone to headaches or migraines but this had to be something very similar. I spent my days popping dozens of Tylenol and was still unable to sit quietly to read a book. I won’t even get into the side effects from taking all of those damn Tylenol. All I could think about was how lucky I was to have so many smart people convincing me to get that damn flu shot.
Next the low grade fever arrived right on schedule. It’s been sapping my strength for the last week but finally seems to be easing up some. So for more than three weeks now I’ve had what I’m told is a mild case of the flu. My last serious bout with the flu lasted only a week but so far this alleged mild version has hung in there for three weeks.
I’m beginning to believe that the cure is actually as bad if not worse than the disease. Thanks to everyone who convinced (conned) me to get that effing shot. All I really want to know now is who do I contact later in the Fall when I actually get the real flu. I have a strong cynical feeling that may occur as well.
It’s funny but I’m also sure if I do actually get the flu all of those alleged experts who strong-armed me into this flu shot will be missing in action. They’ll return next year in larger numbers to again frighten and strong-arm many of us once again.
LONG LIVE THE HEALTHCARE SYSTEM
My Summer ending activities continue apace. The garden was composted a few days ago and has finally been tilled to await planting in the Spring. I‘m officially done with the garden which will happily require no more labor from me. These final photos will end the year once and for all as far as the garden is concerned.
These next two photos are the final surviving flowers on the property that haven’t been killed off by the cold nights. They won’t last much more than another week so enjoy them.
This sunflower looks a lot like I felt this morning as I rolled out of bed. Able to stand upright but just barely.
Now I can move forward with other projects and chores I’ve been given by my better-half. Her list never seems to end no matter how hard I try. My father warned me this would eventually happen but I wasn’t a believer until it was too late.
I was able to get around to working on my Dish Network Memorial table once again. I knew grouting a bunch of bottle caps would be difficult but it was more like a nightmare. The table was grouted and so was I. I had damn near as much white grout on me as was on the table. Thank god it’s done. I’ll let it dry for a few days and then seal the grout.
‘Step 1’
‘Step 2’
‘Step 3’
The table will be completed right on schedule for my better-half’s birthday celebration that’s coming up soon. She likes me a little and she likes beer a lot so she should love this table.
As you can see I’m feeling a bit Mexican today. Living in Maine has it’s advantages and I’ve listed them many times before. Unfortunately for those of us who love Mexican food the restaurants in Maine have always left us unsatisfied. Most of the current restaurants that claim to serve Mexican food insist on Americanizing it by cutting back on the heat. The result is a food that’s pretty to look at but has no zing. You know it’s a bad thing when you’re required to sneak in with a bottle of hot sauce to get the heat to a proper Mexican level.
We’ve been visiting on a semi-regular basis a restaurant that’s only been around a couple of years. The food has gotten progressively better as time has gone on which makes us very happy. I’ve eaten good old down home Mexican food in small restaurants along the border in Texas and this place could be one of them.
Yesterday we wanted to enjoy a beautiful Fall day and while we were out we stopped at Casa Fiesta for lunch. I was jonesing for some hot Mexican food and that’s exactly what we got. First they delivered the always delicious nachos and salsa while we waited for our meal. I consider myself a salsa aficionado and make three or four versions of my own on a regular basis. This was without a doubt the best restaurant salsa I’ve had in many years. Super hot and super flavorful.
We went through two baskets of nachos and two bowls of salsa. I could have eaten even more but I was forced to stop so I had room for the entre. I wanted a red wine with the meal and they offered a nice selection. I settled on a delicious Agua De Piedra from Argentina. It was smooth and sweet and was perfect for the meal. I’m not going to bore you with a lot of information that the wine snobs love so much like finish, color, oakiness, and all of that nonsense. I like wine and make a lot of my own. For me there are only three types of wine; Good, Bad, and So-S0. All of that other stuff has no meaning for me. If it tastes good . . . buy it. If it tastes Bad or So-So . . . don’t buy it. Easy peasy.
The meal arrived at the perfect time and was delicious. I feasted on mushroom quesadillas while my better-half had a steak fajita taco salad. Does this look good or what?
I was full of excellent food and wine and my head was sweating like I had hoped it would be. What more could I ask for. We left for home fat, dumb, and extremely happy.
Just so you know my burning mouth stayed with me all the way home. Perfect!
On any given day I’m never sure what’ll happen around here but today even surprised me a little. I was minding my own business and enjoying my life until I found a corpse in my driveway. I make it a point to be aware of what goes on around my residence by checking things regularly every day. I was able to determine the time of death based on my last patrol of the property and let me tell you that corpse was fresh.
With my investigative background it took only a quick glance to determine that this death was not accidental. . . . it appeared to be murder. I could plainly see the blunt force trauma to the head and several deep puncture marks along the side of the body. It wasn’t pretty.
‘Deadly head trauma to be sure.’
I closely searched the surrounding area looking for obvious clues but found nothing. This investigation really couldn’t be all that thorough because I no longer have access to the appropriate forensic equipment except for latex gloves and a big, old magnifying glass I found in a drawer.
In recent weeks there’ve been reports of suspicious behavior by a gang of delinquents (coyotes) roaming around the neighborhood after dark and wreaking havoc throughout the area. It’s resulted in the loss of a number of household pets and those guys are persons of interest.
‘He never had a prayer.’
There was no way to identify the body so we’ll just call him Mickey Doe. He had brown hair and a large unruly mustache. I was able to get a couple of photos of the body but they added very little to the investigation. As you can see this will be a difficult case to solve and I expect it will go cold rather quickly.
‘Some serious bite marks.’
My main suspect lives across the street and is often seen skulking around looking for trouble. He had motive and opportunity because I saw him just before finding the body as he was high-tailing it home to hide under the porch.
As of this report the case remains open. I was forced to remove the body from the driveway and reverently picked it up by the tail and tossed it into the woods. We have no refrigeration facilities here to store corpses.
Another sad and merciless loss of life here in Maine.
BE ON THE LOOK OUT FOR THIS GUY
FANGED AND DANGEROUS
With the season change looming and with a few days of rain expected, it’s time to get back to work on some of my side projects. One in particular needs immediate attention because I’m running out of time to have it done by November 14th. It’s a weird but special gift for my better-half the beer connoisseur. On top of being a beer expert she’s also a collector of sorts. Over the last twenty-five years she’s religiously saved bottle caps from every type of beer she’s ever tasted. We ended up with a garbage bag filled with hundreds of beer memories (bottle caps) but had no idea what to do with them.
It’s funny how things fall together at times. Just as I was cutting our ties with the Dish Network by removing their equipment from the side of our house, I had a revelation. I took the dish and all of it’s component parts, reconstructed them into a sort of interesting but weird side table.
As I was working on the table I looked over to the corner of the workshop and saw the bag of bottle caps. It was then I decided to use the colorful and interesting bottle caps to create a mosaic top for my Dish Network Memorial Table. What better gift for a beer connoisseur than a one-of-a-kind table for her to sit her beer on.
I used a floor-leveler compound to flatten out the dish interior a little and then got to work on the mosaic top. The wide range of bottle cap colors surprised me a bit but made the job much easier.
Two coats of high gloss paint will make it pretty and mounting it on a wooded base will keep it sturdy enough for everyday use. Then it’s adhesive, bottle cap placement, and a decorative grout. I’ll post my future progress (if I have any) and hopefully this thing will be finished in time for the birthday celebration.
With Summer slowly fading away our daily routine changes once again. The nights have been cold enough recently to require a little help from my electric blanket. I rolled over the other morning and found my cat snuggling up against me, something he almost never does unless his fur coat isn’t getting the job done. I touched his back and it was ice cold so I threw a blanket over the little dummy and went back to sleep. Another real indicator of Winter like caterpillars with extra thick fur.
I’m forever raving about how great I think Maine is but I’ve never shown any photographs of it’s main export. While I’m not a lobster lover my better-half is. We had a family cook-out yesterday with all the normal grilling food, burgers, dogs, sausages, and as extra added bonus . . . lobsters. As you can see these poor fellows look pretty contented in the first photo but not so much in the second. They are now just a memory but left my better-half, her daughter, and son-in-law with dribbles of melted butter on their chins and a smile on their faces.
‘Before’
‘After”
Our menial tasks continued this week with the canning of more pickles, the making of more zucchini bread, and the drying of more herbs. Over the next few days I’ll be harvesting and drying batches of tarragon, basil, parsley, and chives. I have so many damn chives growing everywhere it’s getting ridiculous. If I dry too many I’ll just have to package them up and give them to friends and family members.
I hope to begin removing plants from the garden next week. I have a lot of work ahead but would like to get it done as soon as possible. Once the plants are removed I can begin making a few changes to the garden. I’m expanding the rhubarb area because it’s growing so fast I can’t contain it. I’m also adding on two additional frames, one abutting each large frame, to help expand the sunflower areas. We both love having as many sunflowers as possible in the garden and the birds will be thrilled with all of the extra food. I thought it best to do this construction now rather than in the Spring.
Life in Maine continues.
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