Archive for the ‘Just Saying’ Category
Please, can someone explain to me just how I can go about getting "writers block". It seems the only way I’ll be able to get some rest is if I can’t write anything at all. Slowly over a period of time starting about three years ago my mind went into overdrive. Now I find myself waking up in the middle of the night, sometimes more than once, with ideas demanding my attention.
At first I would get up, grab some coffee, sit at the computer, write out a quick draft, and then return to bed. That got old very quickly so I decided to keep a notepad next to the bed. I could then just roll over and jot down notes without getting up at all. That sucked almost immediately when I had difficulty reading my half-asleep handwriting. Finally I purchased a small handheld recorder which didn’t work either. My recordings were so bad I sounded like I had a mouthful of rocks. Scratch that idea.
Well guess what I’m doing now. Since I refuse to get up and get on the computer and I can’t write or record anything I understand, I’ve been stricken with an annoying case of insomnia. I’ve experienced a number of things over the years that were unpleasant but this is by far the worst. I’m awakened from a dead sleep and begin to recite to myself the thing that so rudely woke me up.
I’ve since tried dropping a couple of Tylenol PM’s before bed which helps me get to sleep but not to stay asleep. I tried alcohol but unfortunately for me it’s more of a stimulant than a sleep aid. It’s driving me just a little bit crazy of late because the only time I seem to get any sound sleep is in mid-afternoon for no more than twenty minutes at a time.
Another side effect which my better-half has mentioned on a number of occasions is that it’s making me just a bit cranky. My normal fun loving self has slowly morphed into a newer and more sarcastic Don Rickles. I’ve been told in no uncertain terms that this crap has to stop. I cleaned up the actual language she used because this is supposed to be a "G" rated blog and I understand how sensitive some of you are. The point she’s trying to make is that the more screwed up my sleep is the more miserable, unfriendly, and argumentative I’ve become.
I’m hoping these problems soon rectify themselves with the beginning of Spring, warmer weather, and increased physical activity. If they don’t I could be in big trouble.
It’s raining here in Maine this morning and I’m hoping it’s Mother Nature’s last and final gasp of the winter. Listening to the weather forecasts for the last few days was too depressing for words. They were calling for sleet and a few inches of snow this morning but thankfully they were mistaken. A light coating of sleet that melted away almost immediately is something I can live with.
My better-half was up early to deliver her son to the bus station. He visited us for three days but now is on his way to somewhere in NY state for the wedding of one of his friends and then back to Los Angeles.
I was wondering to myself before his arrival just how he’d react to the new grand baby. It was fun watching the transformation from being my better-half’s son to the uncle of his younger sister’s baby boy. Babies have that special ability to take you out of yourself and your everyday worries and to really enjoy the moment you’re having with them. He was totally disarmed by the whole experience and found himself swept away by the baby and the new relationship they had begun to build. It showed a side of him I’d never seen before and I was glad to see it emerge. He was able to spend a lot of time with the baby and the bond between them was strongly made.
Things should quickly get back to what we call normal around here. Getting ready for Spring and the garden are at the top of our To Do List for the next few weeks. I’ll be off to Lowes to purchase paint and primer this week and hopefully the new room will done by midweek next week. If I time things just right I should be able to put the finishing touches to the room and then immediately move outside and get busy with the yard cleanup and garden prep.
We’ve already started talking about a few weekend photography trips to the northern part of the state. The Attagash region is a few hours north of here and is truly a beautiful place to visit. Hundreds of lakes, small and large, surrounded by thick and dense forests. Wildlife is plentiful with a million opportunities for excellent photographs. I love getting away from all the trouble with the economy, politics, TV, talking heads, cell phones, and any other BS you can think of. Peace, quiet, wilderness, and calm. It beats any kind of drug you can find anywhere.
It’s been quite a week for me. My better-half’s new grandson has visited us three times this week. It’s due primarily to the visit of her oldest son who is meeting the little guy for the first time. The more time I spend around the baby the more amazed I become with just how quickly he’s developing. He’s almost six months old and is already showing signs of his personality and attitudes.
I’ve never had much exposure to infants or newborns in my life for any number of crazy reasons. My ex-wife was unable to have children and even though we tried for many years we were unsuccessful. I’d like to have a dollar for every time I had sex with that infamous plastic cup and the stacks of really bad porn magazines supplied by the fertility clinic. Many years and many dollars later we finally decided to give up and began to explore the adoption possibilities.
The adoption process was the most grueling thing I’ve ever been involved with. After being told a three or four year wait was the best case scenario if we wanted a newborn, we were forced to rethink our adoption requirements. We then joined a program established through the State of Massachusetts that began the process of adopting an older child. We went through the required twelve months of meetings, psychologists, group therapy, and mental anguish. We committed to the program one hundred percent and worked our way through it until we were finally approved. It was exhausting but necessary.
Once approved we were given albums full of photographs of kids in the system who had been abandoned for one reason or another and for many other reasons I won’t talk about here. It was the most heart wrenching thing I’ve ever been involved with. To make this long story short more than a year later we were finally permitted to meet and adopt our new twelve year old son. It was the greatest moment of our lives. Now many years later he’s a married man with his own son and another child on the way. He survived a childhood most of us could never imagine.
But back to my original point. I never had an opportunity to see my son grow and develop as I now have with my better-half’s grandson. I finally understand what people have been trying to explain to me for years. I guess "better late than never" now has much more meaning than in the past.
I fully intend to enjoy this experience with this little guy and possibly any brothers or sisters that may arrive in the next few years. It’s more than a little bit amazing to see that little smile and the twinkle in his eye when he laughs. It pure, unspoiled, and maybe the most sincere and honest thing I’ve ever experienced.
The next few years are going to a lot of fun
I can hardly believe that it’s sixty-five degrees here in Maine today this early in April. The sun is shining, the birds are chirping, and I find myself doing yard cleanup and loving it. I didn’t put on a normal summer outfit like shorts and a t-shirt because I’m not a total idiot. All you have to do is walk into a shaded area and you’ll realize almost immediately just how cold it still is. I’m dressed in long sleeves, jeans, and a light coat. I’ve learned the hard way in past years when I dressed too lightly and ended up with a Spring cold that took forever to go away. My better-half has been complaining for the last couple of days about her cough, runny nose, and scratchy throat. I think she’s about to come down with something that I’m sure she’ll pass right along to me. Isn’t true love wonderful? Just one fantastic perk after another.
We both felt the immediate need to rush out to one of the big box home improvement stores yesterday to begin our Spring spending spree. It’s never too early or too cold to begin loading up with seeds, plants, yard tools, and the occasional yard gnome. We both realize it’s way too early in the season to start this nonsense but we can’ seem to stop ourselves. We apparently aren’t alone because the store was crowded with shoppers filling their carts with anything and everything imaginable. I managed to escape the madness with an expenditure of just a few dollars less than a hundred. Madness I tell you, just freaking madness.
After returning home my better-half immediately changed clothes, grabbed a rake, and began working furiously in the yard. It would have been useless for me to try and stop her so I didn’t even make the attempt. I found a really comfortable chair and placed it on the deck where I could watch. There’s nothing much better than loafing and watching someone else work. She’s got Spring Fever so bad she’s almost out of control and I won’t be the person who tries to slow her down. She can become dangerous when fooled with.
After raking for an hour she finally gave it up and returned to the deck where I’d been saving her a seat. She lasted about thirty minutes longer than I thought she would. We enjoyed the sunshine for another hour and I do believe we got a pretty good start on our summer tans. It eventfully became a little too chilly for comfort so we grabbed up the cat and returned to the house. It was a nice start to better weather but we’re still a long way from actual warmth and real sunshine.
I’ll be returning to the woods later this week with camera in hand to begin my search for a few of those illusive creatures that escaped my notice last fall. Patience usually pays off in these matters or so I’ve been told. I love being out with Mother Nature without two feet of snow slowing me down. Another week and the snow will be history and the fun summer can begin.
I sometimes think that the human race is just plain nuts. Not every individual person but a huge majority of us. It seems we can’t have three people talking together for more than a few minutes before information is exchanged concerning other people’s odd beliefs or some of the more universal conspiracy theories.
I like a good conspiracy as well as the next person but in my heart of hearts I still think that almost all of them are stupid and ridiculous. My theory is that the more leisure time people have the more of these stupid theories seem to appear. It’s not just the good old standbys like the Kennedy assassination, the fake moon landing, or 9/11. We seem to have a perverse need for a never ending supply of this nonsense so we have something to talk and bitch about. Big Labor, Big Wall Street, Big Business, and Big Drug Companies seem to prompt conspiracy theories directly in proportion to the frequency which politicians preach to us about the inequities between rich and poor in this country. Blame it on somebody who is not them.
It astounds me that so many educated people will immediately buy into some of the strangest premises without attempting to verify anything. Many of the silliest conspiracies are constantly being promoted my members of academia at all education levels. Many of them seem to think that every thought that comes into their head is the gospel truth and can’t be disputed. They then subtly pass their silly beliefs to the children they’re responsible for educating giving the ideas a bizarre sort of immortality. It keeps them alive as each new class of students is indoctrinated anew.
Let me list a few more for you; technology conspiracies with implanted chips and mind control, the hidden agenda behind the HIV virus, global surveillance, the New World Order, and the many and varied religious conspiracies which are too numerous to mention. Roswell and the UFO cover-up are right up there too with any and all assassinations i..e. JFK, MLK, John Lennon, and a host of others. Almost anything the Government touches immediately becomes a hidden agenda or conspiracy. This is probably a good thing because it keeps us on the alert for government abuses both real and imagined.
Be aware of what you are doing as well. How often do your conversations with others deal with conspiracies or imagined abuses by almost every organization you can think of. I began keeping track of my own conversations and I was amazed how quickly and how often I fell into the conspiracy trap. In my humble opinion we are nuts. Human beings have great imaginations but if not properly focused they lead us into strange, weird, and dark places. Will it ever stop? Not a chance or a prayer.
I hesitate to get into this subject since it’s not something I’ve ever been very good at. I’d like to talk about texting in general and also about sexting in particular. To me they’re similar enough to discuss as one topic since both seem to be the "thing to do" these days.
I’m someone who lives for technology in most things and I work very hard to stay on top of the latest and greatest trends. Some things like sexting and texting just never really appealed to me because I’ve always been more of a hands-on kind of guy when it comes to the opposite sex. It’s my belief that if you want someone to respond sexually to you, you do it in person. Why is it necessary to text at all? Put me on speed dial and hit the damn button if you have something to say, especially if it’s something erotic. Hearing the words spoken by someone who I desire is way more erotic than a text message that could be sent by damn near anyone.
I understand that texting and sexting are all the rage with many of the younger generation because it’s so much easier to say outrageous and erotic things on a computer. Young women can get as crazy as they want, say anything they want, and all too often send pictures and videos thinking it’s safe and won’t easily get distributed. Sorry girls but just think about it. You sext your heart out to someone you think you love and want to be with. Two weeks later the magic has disappeared and he walks away after sending your photo’s, videos, and sext messages to all of his friends. Nothing on the net can be totally controlled no matter how hard you try. You should never forget that, ever!
As I was recently surfing around the net I discovered a few sites giving advice on how to talk dirty with sexting. I won’t link to them from this blog but if your really that interested just look around a little, they’re everywhere. This first list is suggested sexts from men to women.
-
"Passed the lingerie shop, and thought of you."
-
"Are you wet in the right places?"
"I need to feel you."
-
"When I think of you, everything gets harder."
-
"What are you wearing under your clothes."
-
"Are you ready for some ecstasy?"
-
"My hands feel empty without your breasts."
-
"I want to be inside you."
-
"You need a tongue bath."
-
"Meet at the door naked."
Tell me ladies, do these really do anything for you? I find them just a little lame and would be more than a little embarrassed sending them to anyone. Now lets check out a few examples of some suggested sexts sent by women to men.
-
“I’m imagining you all over my body.”
-
“My clothes feel so uncomfortable right now, come and help me get out of them.”
-
“I can’t stop thinking about what you’re going to do to me tonight.”
-
“Does it make you hard to imagine me standing naked.”
-
“I’m dying to please you tonight.”
-
“I want you in my mouth.”
-
“I’m so horny, do you want me to keep myself warm until I can see you.”
-
“I want to stroke you all the way to heaven.”
-
Does it turn you on knowing that I wrote this txt with one hand because my other is busy.”
I’m sorry but if these were sent to me by any woman I’d be a little amused but far from aroused. A number of years ago when texting and sexting first arrived on the scene I met and dated a young lady who was truly addicted to sexting. She drove me crazy with dozens of messages all day long and the harder I tried to tell her it wasn’t my thing the more persistent she became. I then told her that I was too cheap and refused to spend my hard earned money just to receive unlimited sexts from anyone. On our next date she gave me an unexpected gift, a new cell phone. She demanded that I carry that cell phone which was set up for unlimited texts and that I respond to her sext messages with some good dirty talk of my own. Shortly after that she sent me her first few nude photo’s which helped me to decide to break things off. I returned her telephone unused and disappeared from her life. Just not interested.
Here are a few additional stats I found interesting but a little scary. Our friends over at Harlequin Publishing ran a survey of their readers with the following troublesome results:
-
43% of women talk dirty through texts.
-
Two-thirds of that 43% said they’d only send racy messages while in a serious relationship, while 35% only needed a few dates before they’re ready to start sexting.
-
27% of women admitted to sending nude pictures via email or text messages.
Well there you have it. It appears that this sort of interaction is here to stay in one form or another. That doesn’t change anything for me though. I’ll always prefer to hear my soulmate whispering softly to me on the telephone as she’s speeding home to be with me.
I wish all of you ladies the best of luck. It’s a dangerous world out there so please be careful with what your sending onto the net. I’m reasonably sure I’ll eventually be reading some of what you’ve sexted to your lovers if you continue putting it out there. There’s one thing we all should know by now, once something is on the net it’s there forever.
I think I’m finally returning to my calm and normal self after the last two days of whining and complaining about every useless thing that was bothering me. It appeared to be a combination of finally finishing a difficult job I’d worried about for many weeks and the normal let down after the fact. Leave it up to my better-half to figure out a perfect solution.
She returned home from work in early afternoon and immediately advised me to clean up because we we going out for a Dutch Treat dinner. How could I possibly complain about that? Regardless of what you might think I clean up pretty good and it wasn’t long before I was ready for my night on the town. My chauffeur pulled up in her car and off we went.
We have a number of restaurants we frequent but for me it’s all about the food. If the food is good I can eat it sitting in the middle of a junk yard and still be happy. I worked for many years throughout the south and became hooked on that good old down home southern food that their so famous for. Catfish, collard greens, black eyed peas, somehow climbed to the top of my favorite foods list. No matter what northern restaurant chains claim their attempts to cook authentic southern cuisine is usually pitiful.
My all-time favorite southern dish is country fried chicken with that unbelievable white gravy and biscuits. One of our regular restaurants has a chef who must have been born down south and stolen his grandmother’s favorite recipes. That’s where my better-half planned our dinner and I wasn’t disappointed. The chicken was cooked perfectly and the biscuits and gravy were even better. Throw in a serving of coleslaw and a side of mashed red potatoes with just a hint or garlic and you’ve arrived in heaven. I pigged out and cleaned my plate like a freaking vacuum cleaner. I was fat and sassy as I downed an excellent gin and tonic to complete things.
My better-half was busy texting for few minutes and when she finished I was advised we’d be meeting some friends at another local establishment for a nightcap or two. She actually paid the bill, left a good tip, and we were off. We arrived at a place that is part sports bar, part restaurant, and part beach hangout in the summer. They were so busy it seemed a little like a hot summer evening with the place packed with beach people. I said that jokingly because it’s really April in Maine and cold as hell. Our friends arrived just as we finally were seated in our booth and we had a few drinks and a lot of laughs. My sober designated driver delivered me safely home at a reasonable hour to end a perfect night.
The night didn’t last much longer because the better-half had a 4am wake-up call. Fortunately she has a vacation week scheduled next week due to the anticipated arrival or her oldest son from LA. He’s in for a three day visit and that should keep her hopping and occupied for the entire week. Since next week is sure to a hectic one I plan on enjoying this weekend as much as humanly possible.
It’s been twelve hours since that great meal and I’m still tasting those garlic potatoes. Can’t wait to do it again.
I’m celebrating a little today because finally the freaking drywall job has been completed. If I never see another sheet of the damn stuff again it will be too soon. I estimate about an hour of sanding and smoothing before we can do a whole-house cleanup which could take a very long time. That insidious white dust can be found in every room of the house even though I took great pains to control it. Some things just can’t be avoided I guess. The mere fact that I’m actually looking forward to doing the priming and painting should tell you how much I won’t be missing drywall. DONE AND DONE!
Other than the remodel things have been very quiet around the house of late. My better-half’s been working a couple of weeks of some really weird shifts making our time together somewhat limited. The grand child has brought an illness home from daycare and their entire family has been sick for more than a week. I’ve been pretty much left alone except for the cat who is also not too happy about the lack of attention.
Today was first day in a while when I didn’t have to get up early and work on the remodel. A day where I could sleep in and lounge around and even get out of the house to run a few errands. Why did I ever think that things would happen as I’d hoped. The better-half left early for work and it wasn’t long before I wished she’d taken that damn cat with her.
The feline nagging started immediately since she left without feeding him. He was unhappy and made sure I was too. He walked slowly around the bed meowing at the top of his lungs until I brained him with a pillow. Just as I was getting back to sleep he started his old routine of jumping on the bed, walking all over my body, meowing loudly, and then running away before I could grab another pillow. He repeated this at least eight times before I found myself wide awake and none too happy. Once he realized I was awake he disappeared from the bedroom and planted his furry little ass next to his food dish and just waited. I made my way to the kitchen, fed the little bastard, cursed at him a few times and went back to bed.
Now I’m lying here writing this because I couldn’t get back to sleep. Does the term "urge to kill" come to mind? I think a few hours away from this place will allow me to clear my head a little and keep me from drop kicking the cat into next week. The older he gets the more like my ex-wife he’s becoming.
This appears to be the beginning of what I fear could become a very bad day. I think a few cups of really strong and tasty coffee just might do the trick to turn that around. I’m willing to try just about anything to improve my day before the better-half returns from work. The last thing we need is to have is a stupid argument instigated by the cat.
I think a quick trip to the discount book store might help. I can calm myself with an hour of browsing through the racks to find a few interesting mysteries I haven’t read before. This has been one helluva winter. I been reading two books a week all winter but with the weather finally breaking that should slow down a bit. I find myself actually looking forward to starting the yard work and preparing this years garden.
I’m out the door searching for a better day.
I hope your Easter celebration went well. I usually don’t celebrate Easter since I’m not much of a believer. If you don’t celebrate it religiously what remains is kind of ridiculous. Rabbits, colored eggs, egg hunts, and all the other nonsense tend to make me a little crazy. My better-half loves to celebrate Easter and regardless of my feelings she goes a little overboard (big surprise) every year.
I was ordered to sleep in today because, hoo-ray hoo-ray, she had a day off. I was told in no uncertain terms that we’d be sleeping in as long as possible to start our day. I was certainly okay with that. I offered to make her breakfast in bed but she declined and then directed me to get dressed so we could get out of the house and spend a part of the day in the sunshine. That sounded good too so I did. We finally rolled out of bed and what do I find waiting for me but an Easter basket with enough candy stuffed into it to feed a large family. As usual I had nothing for her because I’m what you might call an Anti-Easter person. She wanted to celebrate the holiday and I was making sure we celebrated her day off as well.
She began preparations for our Easter breakfast which I immediately put a stop to. I told her to get dressed because we were first going out for breakfast and then to the beach. We drove along the ocean to Old Orchard Beach and stopped for breakfast at one of our favorite spots and it was terrific. We had a window seat and were able to watch everyone as they arrived in town to walk the beach with their families and pets. It was obvious that everyone was more than ready for the long winter to finally be over.
The breakfast was excellent and the place was crowded with people enjoying their Easter Sunday. We stopped back at the car, grabbed our cameras, and hit the beach. When I say everyone was out I wasn’t kidding. People, kids, dogs, and even a couple of horses were sunbathing and some were even crazy enough to walk in the freezing surf. It was just wonderful. We stayed for a hour or two after taking some really cool photographs of our day.
After returning home we just spent some quiet time together and then made the obligatory telephone calls to family and friends. The sun was still shining so we brought the grill out of storage and reinstalled it back on the deck. I marinated and grilled two gorgeous steaks while she prepared a couple of salads and baked potatoes. The food was delicious and when we finished eating we cleaned up the mess and plopped on the couch to relax.
It wasn’t long before she began to yawn and I knew her day was almost over since she had to be up early for work. She was happy and contented and obviously enjoyed her Easter celebration a great deal. I as always was grateful for our time together which is precious to me.
It was a great day and the perfect way to start our changeover from Winter to Spring. I hope your day was even better than ours.
Have you ever had a song stuck in your head? Over the years I’ve listened to hundreds of thousands of songs without any problems whatsoever. I’ve listened to Jazz, Pop, Hard Rock, and yes even Opera. I’ve avoided when possible Hip-Hop, Rap, and the old style Country and Western songs because I just don’t care for them. There are a few exceptions to that list of course but not many.
I live with my better-half who is obsessed with music, singing, dancing, and humming songs almost constantly. It can be really annoying if you ever crave absolute peace and quiet like I do at times. Every once in a while as I’m listening to music I also find myself unable to disconnect completely. It’s maddening because I find it interfering with my everyday activities. I’ve been in conversations with people and as I’m listening to them speak I begin to hum to myself and I can hear the lyrics in my head very clearly. Then I begin to tap my toe to the music and then suffer from the almost uncontrollable urge to dance. It takes all of my will power not do anything stupid and embarrass myself. This has occurred in the past not just in casual conversations but important business conversations as well.
My mother passed away last year and as I was sitting in the church with my sister listening to the priest drone on and on I had the song "What a Man" by Salt and Pepa echoing through my head. Why? I have no freaking idea but it was actually better than listening to that priest and thinking about my mom’s passing.
On one occasion I was driving to Pittsburgh to visit family which is eleven hours of sheer boredom. For a large part of the trip through Pennsylvania there is little or no acceptable radio stations to listen to. Unfortunately I also forgot my IPod and was limited to one CD I found under my seat. For the rest of that trip and for the next week the song, "Higher Love" by Steve Winwood drove me freaking crazy.
When I’m cooking I find myself humming and occasionally singing various songs by Luciano Pavarotti in Italian no less. How weird is that? I love opera but it’s not something I want to hear over and over again.
This problem isn’t limited to good music but also to really bad songs and a few truly annoying television commercial theme songs. The theme songs are the absolute worst. Lately it’s been that stupid commercial with the Korean version of Richard Simmons singing some stupid song that I don’t even understand while he hops around the screen in a pukey green sport coat with a bunch of pistachios. I ‘d look up the name of the song for you but what’s the point, I hate that stupid song.
I think the worst part of this problem is that once I capture a song in my head, it’s there forever. I have quite a long list of tunes that show up unannounced at the weirdest times to entertain me. I may be forced to involve myself with some sort of meditation program that will allow me to sit quietly and purge my mind of all this nonsense. Maybe I’ll become a Buddhist monk where I can spend my time in quiet self-reflection in an attempt to make these evil music demons go away.
As I’ve been writing this I’ve been humming "Three Time a Lady" by Lionel Richey. Someone please help me!
everyuselessthing.com 