Archive for the ‘Looking Back’ Category
It’s been quite a week for me. My better-half’s new grandson has visited us three times this week. It’s due primarily to the visit of her oldest son who is meeting the little guy for the first time. The more time I spend around the baby the more amazed I become with just how quickly he’s developing. He’s almost six months old and is already showing signs of his personality and attitudes.
I’ve never had much exposure to infants or newborns in my life for any number of crazy reasons. My ex-wife was unable to have children and even though we tried for many years we were unsuccessful. I’d like to have a dollar for every time I had sex with that infamous plastic cup and the stacks of really bad porn magazines supplied by the fertility clinic. Many years and many dollars later we finally decided to give up and began to explore the adoption possibilities.
The adoption process was the most grueling thing I’ve ever been involved with. After being told a three or four year wait was the best case scenario if we wanted a newborn, we were forced to rethink our adoption requirements. We then joined a program established through the State of Massachusetts that began the process of adopting an older child. We went through the required twelve months of meetings, psychologists, group therapy, and mental anguish. We committed to the program one hundred percent and worked our way through it until we were finally approved. It was exhausting but necessary.
Once approved we were given albums full of photographs of kids in the system who had been abandoned for one reason or another and for many other reasons I won’t talk about here. It was the most heart wrenching thing I’ve ever been involved with. To make this long story short more than a year later we were finally permitted to meet and adopt our new twelve year old son. It was the greatest moment of our lives. Now many years later he’s a married man with his own son and another child on the way. He survived a childhood most of us could never imagine.
But back to my original point. I never had an opportunity to see my son grow and develop as I now have with my better-half’s grandson. I finally understand what people have been trying to explain to me for years. I guess "better late than never" now has much more meaning than in the past.
I fully intend to enjoy this experience with this little guy and possibly any brothers or sisters that may arrive in the next few years. It’s more than a little bit amazing to see that little smile and the twinkle in his eye when he laughs. It pure, unspoiled, and maybe the most sincere and honest thing I’ve ever experienced.
The next few years are going to a lot of fun
We’re well into the month of March, one of the more religiously celebrated months of the year. The following days are observed by millions of people in many varied religions and countries. They are this year; St. David’s Day, St. Patrick’s Day, Palm Sunday, Good Friday, Holy Saturday, Saint Piran’s Day, St. Urho’s Day, and of course Easter Sunday.
I tend to get mixed messages because at the same time we have a total of 287 other daily, weekly, and monthly observances in March that are anything but religious. Here are a few odd and unusual observances that are in my opinion completely ridiculous.
Atheist Awareness Day, Root Canal Awareness Day, Pig Day, Day of the Dude, Corn Dog Day, Snowman Burning Day, and Earmuff Day. Go figure.
I myself have only one observance in March that interests me enough to mention. March 15-17 is Sherlock Holmes Weekend and I celebrate it each year by reading selected stories from my Sir Arthur Conan Doyle collection. Of all of the detectives written about over the years Sherlock Holmes has had more staying power than almost all of them. Alex Cross, Jack Reacher, Travis McGee, and Eve Dallas all have a huge followings around the world but nothing comes close to the Sherlock Holmes contingent of which I count myself a proud member.
Not only is it fun to read detective stories written in the late 1800’s but it’s also amazing to me how many of the skills developed by the Holmes character eventually became talents developed by many real life investigators. I was a criminal investigator and interrogator for more than than thirty years as a police officer, private investigator, and then in the private sector. The most successful investigators have an ability to look at a series of facts and circumstances from a unique angle that most people are unable to do. They place themselves into the mind of a criminal or victim which in turn helps them to understand the simplest of actions and statements which under normal circumstances might go unnoticed by the untrained. My first exposure to that way of thinking was through the Sherlock Holmes stories.
You can’t really appreciate Holmes without giving credit to his creator, Sir Arthur Conan Doyle, who died on July 7, 1940 in Sussex, England. Six years and one month later I was born. Approximately twelve years later I read my first Sherlock Holmes story and saw my first Hollywood movie version staring Basil Rathbone and Nigel Bruce. I’ve been hooked ever since.
I’m not saying that Sherlock Holmes was the inspiration for my career but I can’t tell you how many times when I first initiated a case I thought to myself “Watson, the game is afoot” .
One of my all time favorite Holmes mysteries is The Adventure of the Blue Carbuncle. Find it, read it, and enjoy it.
Also thank God for my IPad, I still carry Holmes with me wherever I go.
As I promised a week or so ago, if I found any interesting tidbits of useless information and trivia, I would pass them along to you. I have a few here that are obscure, a little strange, but as best I can determine accurate. Read them and remember them because you never know when you might get caught up in a vicious game of Trivial Pursuit. A number of these items were researched by the late great Isaac Asimov. He was one of the smartest men alive in his day and had a habit of collecting and researching odd tidbits of information. Enjoy!
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Drilling an oil well 5 miles deep requires drilling night and day, seven days a week, for as long as 500 days.
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The total population of the earth at the time of Julius Caesar was 150 million. The total population increase in two years on earth today is 150 million.
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During the next minute, 100 people will die 240 will be born. The world’s population problem increases by a 140 people per minute.
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Many years ago a Harvard student on his way home to visit his parents fell between two railroad cars at the station in Jersey City, New Jersey, and was rescued by an actor on his way to visit his sister in Philadelphia. The student was Robert Lincoln, heading for 1600 Pennsylvania Ave. The actor was Edwin Booth the brother of the man who a few weeks later would murder the students father.
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There are 2,500,000 rivets in the Eiffel Tower.
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There is a salt mine in the Polish town of Wieliczka, near Cracow, that has been in operation for nearly 1000 years.
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While Columbus was seeking new worlds to the West, Italian engineers were rebuilding the Kremlin in Moscow.
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There are more than 100 distinct ethnic groups in the Soviet Union.
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Every cubic mile of seawater holds over 150,000,000 tons of minerals. There are 350,000,000 cubic miles of seawater on the planet.
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It was proposed in the Rhode Island legislature in the 1970’s that there be enacted a two dollar tax on every act of sexual intercourse.
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Morocco was the first country to officially recognize the United States in 1789.
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Some Eskimos use refrigerators to keep their food from freezing.
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In 1978, more than 1000 deer were accidentally killed in Connecticut by automobile drivers. Only 948 were killed by hunters.
Well there you have it. More useless information for you to cram into your brain so you can amaze your friends and family and possibly win a few bar bets. More to come I’m sure.
I closely follow the news every day, not through the Main Stream Media but on the web where “fair and balanced" reporting can still be occasionally found. To say things have become quite scary in recent months is no joke.
Last month I celebrated two years of blogging on both this blog and a year and a half on my former blog, Anti-Stupidity Central. I suppose my initial timing with ASC was fortunate with the upcoming presidential election helping keep me focused and supplied me with lots of material. On that blog I’ve written a number of times voicing my concerns for our country and the apparent fools who someone (definitely not me) voted into office.
One of my biggest bitches and complaints involved the evolution of political correctness, it’s negative uses, and everyone’s lackadaisical attitude and failure to take it seriously. In recent months it’s become worse due to the re-election of Obama in his last lame-duck term. It’s motivated the left to push the limits of responsibility and common sense like never before at the expense of our country, our well being, and our children’s future.
Political correctness is an insidious and evil method used by some to undermine what was once a stable and proud country. That’s been eroded away slowly by decades of influences from liberal Academia, the Green movement, the ACLU, the liberal media, and the liberal special interest groups and politicians. In my opinion it’s become the norm in this country and is so ingrained in our society that it may never be able to be stopped. I hope I’m wrong but I’m no longer even sure it’s possible to fix things.
Many of you reading this will certainly try to downplay what I’m saying and even ridicule me personally. That’s one of the benefits of free speech that I see this administration attempting to pervert and eliminate. Ask Bob Woodward how he feels when he’s openly threatened by the White House for disagreeing with the President. That’s not only a blow against Freedom of Speech but also Freedom of the Press. Only a damn fool or a total idiot can’t understand what a dangerous road we seem to traveling down.
I guess my interest in “Political Correctness” started in earnest approximately twelve years ago when I read an interesting speech written by Bill Lind for Accuracy in Academia at American University. As you read these excerpts from that speech try to remember that it was written more than ten years ago long before the country had slid so dangerously close to the edge of that smelly cesspool of “political correctness”.
The Origins of Political Correctness
“Where does all this stuff that you’ve heard about this morning – the victim feminism, the gay rights movement, the invented statistics, the rewritten history, the lies, the demands, all the rest of it – where does it come from? For the first time in our history, Americans have to be fearful of what they say, of what they write, and of what they think. They have to be afraid of using the wrong word, a word denounced as offensive or insensitive, or racist, sexist, or homophobic.”
“We have seen other countries, particularly in this century, where this has been the case. And we have always regarded them with a mixture of pity, and to be truthful, some amusement, because it has struck us as so strange that people would allow a situation to develop where they would be afraid of what words they used. But we now have this situation in this country. We have it primarily on college campuses, but it is spreading throughout the whole society. Were does it come from? What is it?”
“We call it “Political Correctness.” The name originated as something of a joke, literally in a comic strip, and we tend still to think of it as only half-serious. In fact, it’s deadly serious. It is the great disease of our century, the disease that has left tens of millions of people dead in Europe, in Russia, in China, indeed around the world. It is the disease of ideology. PC is not funny. PC is deadly serious.”
“If we look at it analytically, if we look at it historically, we quickly find out exactly what it is. Political Correctness is cultural Marxism. It is Marxism translated from economic into cultural terms. It is an effort that goes back not to the 1960s and the hippies and the peace movement, but back to World War I.”
“In 1923 in Germany, a think-tank is established that takes on the role of translating Marxism from economic into cultural terms, that creates Political Correctness as we know it today, and essentially it has created the basis for it by the end of the 1930’s.”
“These origins of Political Correctness would probably not mean too much to us today except for two subsequent events. The first was the student rebellion in the mid-1960s, which was driven largely by resistance to the draft and the Vietnam War. But the student rebels needed theory of some sort. They couldn’t just get out there and say, “Hell no we won’t go,” they had to have some theoretical explanation behind it. Very few of them were interested in wading through Das Kapital. Classical, economic Marxism is not light, and most of the radicals of the 60s were not deep.”
“We can envision a future, if we can only destroy this existing oppressive order, in which we liberate eros, we liberate libido, in which we have a world of “polymorphous perversity,” in which you can “do your own thing.” And by the way, in that world there will no longer be work, only play. What a wonderful message for the radicals of the mid-60s! They’re students, they’re baby-boomers, and they’ve grown up never having to worry about anything except eventually having to get a job. “Do your own thing,” “If it feels good do it,” and “You never have to go to work.” , “Make love, not war.”
“In conclusion, America today is in the throes of the greatest and direst transformation in its history. We are becoming an ideological state, a country with an official state ideology enforced by the power of the state. In “hate crimes” we now have people serving jail sentences for political thoughts. And the Congress is now moving to expand that category ever further. Affirmative action is part of it. The terror against anyone who dissents from Political Correctness on campus is part of it. It’s exactly what we have seen happen in Russia, in Germany, in Italy, in China, and now it’s coming here. And we don’t recognize it because we call it Political Correctness and laugh it off. My message today is that it’s not funny, it’s here, it’s growing and it will eventually destroy, as it seeks to destroy, everything that we have ever defined as our freedom and our culture.”
I hate being forced to write such depressing news but not only is this blog meant to inform the readers it’s also a way for me to maintain my sanity by venting when necessary. I find it necessary right now. It’s just frustrating for me when I see more citizens of this country attempting to tear it down than to build it back up. A true recipe for disaster.
Have you ever had an identity crisis? Do you really understand what the term means? I thought I did but as often happens I really had only a general idea and never looked at the dirty little details.
As a young child we have an identity but it’s really just a temporary one until we’ve reached an age where real decisions about our future can be made without the undue influences of family. My father wanted me to be a jock at first. He was an outstanding athlete in school and always hoped I could excel as he did. I didn’t. I liked playing baseball but for me most of the other sports were a distraction from my real passion for fine art and commercial art. My first major identity issue occurred when I realized I didn’t want to be what he wanted me to be. I was just a kid who was afraid to speak out so instead I acted out. It was my way of saying, I don’t want to be a jock, I really don’t like playing football and basketball, I can do it if I want to but I don’t want to. It took him years to get over my actions but it had to happen eventually as it does with everyone and their parents.
We go through many of these identity issues during and after high school. Do I want to go to college? Do I want to be a part of a religious organization? Do I want to be married? What kind of job do I want? Do I want to have kids? It’s no wonder we have so many issues with family and friends as they try to push us in one direction or another. The real problem comes after you’ve made these life decisions for yourself and then find out you’ve made a terrible mistake. To me that’s a real ‘identity crisis’ and the others are just normal growing up things we all must deal with.
I’m writing about this topic in a semi-serious manner and don’t want to get bogged down and depressed by it. I’ve grown up and survived all of the decisions I’ve made. Some were good, some not so good, but that’s life in a nut shell. I’ve had my mid-life crisis, been divorced, been happy, been miserable, and survived them all just as you all will.
I took early retirement a few years ago and now I’m again faced with a new question. Who am I now? I sat down to think over a few things and suddenly realized that a person’s name and nicknames help them to find and maintain their identity. If Sean Combs can reinvent himself at a whim from P-Diddy to Puff Daddy then why can’t I do the same.
As always the web has the answers. I found these two web sites which are really helping me and my better-half to re-identifying ourselves. Check them out if you want a cool nickname or two.
http://www.myrapname.com/
http://www.getnicknames.com/nicknames.php
Here are a few of the selections we must choose from:
Our Bad Ass Biker Names: CARLEY CRANK – BEARDSLEY BONES
Our Pop Star Names: JULIA STEFANI – GORDAN ANGEL
Our Vampire Names: SELENE CALLISTO – DAMON NIX
Our Goth Names: ADARE – DE DEMI
Our Mobster Names: Lucia – ROCCO
Our Pirate Names: BOOTLEG BETTY – CAPTAIN SCURY
It’s obvious we have some serious decisions to make. Who do we want to be now? I’m leaning towards my vampire identity since that seems to be the current trend but my better-half is looking hard at the pop star identity. This could take forever.
Last week I casually mentioned my fascination with Victorian women and some of the responses I received were interesting to say the least. Still, the more I read the more interested I became in that time period. That resulted in further research to satisfy my strange yet engaging Victorian fixation. I realize that I’m taking a real risk in ruining a life long sexual fantasy but what’s life without a little risk.
As I’ve always been told by friends and family alike, "be careful what you ask for". My research into the Victorian age revealed some of the downsides of the era. The social intercourse of the time had many strict rules for behavior including rules for just visiting someone. Here’s a quote from a Victoria Domestic Manual explaining the rules of "calling on someone".
"Those who mix in society are in the habit of reminding one another of their existence, either by personally calling on each other during certain hours, or by merely leaving their cards at the door."
Those visits were normally made by single women and idle men between the hours of 1-5 pm in the city or between 12-4 pm at the country house. A call was to last no more than fifteen minutes and was made twice a year and on certain special occasions.
1. After the birth of a baby – either in person or by a servant
2. On the marriage of a daughter – usually the day after the wedding
3. After a death – no calls were made until the lady of the house had sent round her cards "to return thanks for the inquiries" made during the time of
mourning.
4. Prior to a long absence from home – ladies then called on their friends
When a lady making a call is married and her husband is too busy to call, she may leave his card for the master of the house.
In leaving cards for a married couple, a lady is to leave one card and the man should leave two.
Formal calls on certain special occasions should be returned within a few days. If not a formal apology is required and expected.
Refreshments are not required in town visits but in the country they should be made available if a caller comes a long distance.
Could you imagine having these sorts of rules in place now. All of our younger generations would be required to drop a card when they visited anyone. I can only imagine what those cards might look like. It would break out into individual groups like everything else seems to do. You would have Hip-Hop cards, Nerd cards, Artist cards, Sports Cards, and Designer Cards for every occasion. The look of the card would become another peer pressure item with competition making their costs skyrocket. Plain old black and white print would no longer be cool but gold embossed print with an accompanying graphic or photo would the next step. It would be the next new old thing for the 21st century. What will come after that? A return to bell bottoms, mullets, or my all time favorite, girdles.
People need to realize that something stupid a hundred years ago is still stupid today. I hope we haven’t just run out of new and original good ideas. It’s too depressing to ponder, so I won’t.
As winter continues I always find myself looking forward to summer and spending time at the beach. It’s also impossible for me to accurately guess what kind of beachwear I’ll be seeing this year. More thongs to be sure and bikinis with as much material as a man’s handkerchief (I hope). It seems from my past experiences that the younger the women are the less clothes they are likely to wear. I’m all for showing a reasonable amount of skin but at a certain point it begins to lose it’s allure for me. There’s a fine line between sexy and slutty and for me near naked is much sexier than almost naked.
Coming of age in the sixties and seventies might make you think I’m a child of the free love generation. It’s not true at all. I do still harken back to bare feet, long flowing hair, and a full length light cotton dress (sans panties) but other things work for me as well. I’ve always been a big fan of the woman who can dress herself and be sexy without having all of her more interesting parts hanging out in the wind. I just love to be tantalized as part of the foreplay to really get me interested. An ankle peeking from beneath a long dress can be just as sexy as a low cut top or a super short skirt.
I’ve always been a fan of the Victorian times where people appeared to be a bit stuffy and non-sexual in their dress and comportment but once they entered the bedroom they dropped the goody-goody routine altogether. The women wore their hair long but rolled tightly in a bun and in the bedroom the bun was unrolled, the many articles of clothing were throw about the room, and the real fun could begin. It took more than a few minutes I’m sure to get them out of all the petticoats, slips, corsets, and high button shoes but in the end it was all good.
I was recently reading a few writings by Gwen Raverat (1885-1957), the granddaughter of Charles Darwin, who described sharing a room with a young lady in her younger years who was wearing the following listed undergarments. Just imagine yourself as a Victorian gentleman with sex on his mind trying to work his way through this outfit to get to the Promised Land.
1. Thick, long legged, long sleeved woolen combinations
2. Over them, white cotton combinations (this is a chemise and drawers combined into one garment), with plenty of buttons and frills
3. Very serious, bony gray stays, with suspenders
4. Black woolen stockings
5. White cotton drawers, with buttons and frills
6. White cotton "petticoat-bodice", with embroidery, buttons and frills
7. Rather short, white flannel petticoat
8. Long alpaca petticoat, with a flounce round the bottom
9. Pink flannel blouse
That wardrobe would take me at least an hour to work my way through. Hopefully I’d have enough strength and stamina left to finish the job after all that undressing. Those Victorian guys must have been incredibly persistent with the sex drive of Superman.
It doesn’t change anything for me though, I still find Victorian ladies sexy as hell but I would never discriminate against our modern women. I’ll also make this promise. I solemnly pledge to give the women of our younger generations my full attention and respect this summer as they prance along the beach wearing not much more than an attitude and a smile. It’s the courteous thing to do and I’m nothing if not courteous.
In my travels this year everyone seems to be talking a great deal about the flu, getting flu shots, and health issues in general. They don’t call this time of the year Cold & Flu Season for nothing I suppose.
As a society we’ve been slowly and steadily introduced to a plethora of drugs that will seemingly cure all of our ills (we hope). The costs keep rising and rising for these drugs with no end in sight (if the drug companies having anything to say about it). Prescription drugs have become the new necessities of life and a major addiction for our entire society. It’s all we seem to talk about or think about after decades of thorough and constant advertising propaganda.
My mother introduced me to herb growing many years ago and ever since I’ve had a really nice herb garden wherever I’ve lived. I grow dozens of culinary herbs and I’m already planning additions to my garden for this year. I try to use as many fresh herbs as I can in our food preparations during the summer months and dry and store enough to get us through each winter. It makes the food much more flavorful and is likely a healthy practice (we hope).
Being a huge reader I’ve developed a habit of buying old books at yard sales and discount bookstores concerning herb lore and their varied medicinal uses. About twenty years ago I stumbled on a copy of a very old book, Culpeper’s Complete Herbal – written in 1653, that contains hundreds of plants and their dosages used for medicinal purposes. For centuries that book was probably used for remedies to ease symptoms of many every day minor illnesses.
I decided to do a little more research and thought I might pass along a few of these outdated and quirky remedies that may have been the basis for some of our current day solutions. Here are a few:
After all of these years our current well educated doctors are still no closer to discovering a remedy for the common cold. It’s the same old thing, "drink lots of liquids, bed rest, and take an aspirin every four hours." The ancients believed in the use of medicinal herbs. They actually brewed willow bark to help ease headaches and cold symptoms. It was later synthesized into the modern day aspirin we use today. Maybe they were smarter than we give them credit for, or maybe not. Here’s a sore throat remedy that you will just love:
Take a wool sock, a dirty (stinky and smelly) wool sock worn by someone who is obviously strong and healthy. It must be a sock from a member of the opposite sex and should be turned inside out and tied around the neck. The foot part of the sock should cover the sorest spot of the throat and left there overnight. In the morning remove the sock and wash (please). Your sore throat and fever should be eased somewhat. (Yikes!)
How’s that for a disgusting bit of healthcare. I think I’d prefer the smell of Vicks to a nasty old sock worn by better-half. It might cure my sore throat but my eye’s would water for a week. Now for an interesting tip on dealing with a pesky toothache:
Just split open a nutshell, dig out the meat but be sure to keep the two items intact. Put a dead spider in one half and close up the shell. Hang it around your neck and as long as you’re wearing it, no more toothaches. (This one is not for me). Now for a really ancient hiccup cure:
The ancient Chinese were ahead of their time in dealing with hiccups. They suggested to gulp nine swallows of water without taking a breath. You should at the same time press a spot on the back of your neck where it meets the torso. Modern scientists later determined that was actually the location of the phrenic nerve which when pressed can stop the impulse to hiccup.
Wart remedies are one of my favorites. When I was a kid I had a wart on my index finger that would not go away and it drove me crazy. An elderly Slovak lady who lived in my neighborhood told me to cut a potato in half. Then take a penny and rub both sides of it on the potato halves. Next I was to rub the penny on the wart using both sides of the coin. Finally I was to throw the penny away where it could never be found by anyone. I followed her instructions to the letter and within two week the wart dried up and fell off. I was dumbfounded.
I certainly don’t recommend or endorse any of these ancient remedies, just passing them along as a public service. Some are silly, some don’t work and some do but either way they’re still interesting.
Have a wonderful Cough and Cold season and save all those stinky socks.
Happy Birthday Mr. Lincoln! This is the month where we celebrate the life and death of Abraham Lincoln. One of the most challenged presidents who won a war but eventually lost his life to a assassin.
The people in this country hold those presidents killed in office close to their hearts. John Kennedy is another perfect example. Over the decades many comparisons have been drawn between Lincoln and Kennedy. The following information has been around for many years and has fascinated almost everyone who’s read it. I post it on or about the same time every year and reading it again still puzzles and amazes me. Read it yourself and then tell me how it’s possible for these facts to be true.
Abraham Lincoln was elected to Congress in 1846.
John F. Kennedy was elected to Congress in 1946.
Abraham Lincoln was elected President in 1860.
John F. Kennedy was elected President in 1960.
The names Lincoln and Kennedy each contain seven letters.
Both were particularly concerned with civil rights.
Both wives lost children while living in the White House.
Both Presidents were shot on a Friday.
Both Presidents were shot in the head.
Lincoln’s secretary was named Kennedy.
Kennedy’s secretary was named Lincoln.
Both were assassinated by Southerners.
Both were succeeded by Southerners.
Both successors were named Johnson.
Andrew Johnson, who succeeded Lincoln, was born in 1808.
Lyndon Johnson, who succeeded Kennedy, was born in 1908.
John Wilkes Booth, who assassinated Lincoln, was born in 1839.
Lee Harvey Oswald, who assassinated Kennedy, was born in 1939.
Both assassins were known by their three names.
Both names are composed of fifteen letters.
Lincoln was shot at the theater named "Kennedy."
Kennedy was shot in a car called "Lincoln."
Booth ran from the theater and was caught in a warehouse.
Oswald ran from a warehouse and was caught in a theater.
Booth and Oswald were assassinated before their trials.
Over the years I’ve investigated thousands of criminal cases and the one thing that remained constant was rule #1 as taught to me by the men who trained me, “there are no coincidences”. If that remains true then I have no explanation whatsoever as to the above facts. Do you?
I recently supplied all of you with a Baby Boomer Test that was fun to do but wasn’t all that challenging. And yesterday I supplied everyone with the correct answers to that quiz. What I’m putting forth today is something a little more comprehensive and much more detailed. It’s not a test or a quiz just a recitation of facts and things from my past that are slowing fading away and no longer all that relevant to the younger generations. It may appeal to all of you Boomers out there and if it does, Yippee!
Let’s go back . . .
Before the Internet or IPods, IPads, and wireless telephones, before semiautomatic weapons and crack cocaine. Before SEGA or Super Nintendo or the X-box.
Way back…
I’m talking about hide and seek at dusk or just sitting on the porch. Hot bread and butter, eating a super-dooper Dagwood sandwich, Red light, Green light, 1 2 3. . .
Chocolate milk, lunch tickets, penny candy in a brown paper bag. Hopscotch, butterscotch, Double-Dutch, jacks, kickball, and dodge ball. Mother, May I? Hula Hoops, Sunflower Seeds, jawbreakers, blow pops, Mary Janes, and running through sprinklers. The smell of summer and licking sweaty and salty lips.
There’s more . . .
Catching lightening bugs in a jar, playing slingshot and Red Rover, and swimming in the creek. Stealing and eating apples from the neighbors trees. When around the corner seemed far away, and going downtown seemed like going somewhere. Playing with puppies.
Bedtime, climbing trees, building a private clubhouse in the woods (no girls allowed), playing Home Run Derby with your best friend. A million mosquito bites and sticky fingers. Cops and Robbers, Cowboys and Indians, sitting on the curb, jumping down the steps, jumping on the bed, and pillow fights.
Being tickled to death, running till you were out of breath. Laughing so hard that your stomach hurt. Being tired from playing …. Remember that? Eating potatoes cooked in a bonfire and flaming marshmallows on a stick.
I’m still not finished . . .
Licking the beaters when your mother made a cake. When there were two types of sneakers for girls and boys (Keds & PF Flyers), and the only time you wore them at school, was for "gym.", sledding in the winter, and ice skating at the local pond. When nobody owned a purebred dog. When a quarter was a decent allowance, and another quarter a huge bonus. When you’d reach into a muddy gutter for a penny. When girls neither dated nor kissed until late high school, if then. When your mom wore nylons that came in two pieces.
When you got your windshield cleaned, oil checked, and gas pumped, without asking, for free. And you didn’t pay for air, and, you got trading stamps to boot! When laundry detergent had free glasses, dishes or towels hidden inside the box.
When any parent could discipline any kid, or feed him or use him to carry groceries, and nobody, not even the kid, thought a thing of it. When it was considered a great privilege to be taken out to dinner at a real restaurant with your parents.
Not done yet . . .
When all of your male teachers wore neckties and female teachers had their hair done, everyday. When they threatened to keep kids back a grade if they failed…and did! When being sent to the principal’s office was nothing compared to the fate that awaited a misbehaving student at home. Having a weapon in school, meant being caught with a slingshot. When nearly everyone’s mom was at home when the kids got there.
Basically, we were in fear for our lives but it wasn’t because of drive-by shootings, drugs, gangs, etc. Disapproval of our parents and grandparents was a much bigger threat!
Decisions were made by going "eeny-meeny-miney-mo." Mistakes were corrected by simply exclaiming, "do over!" "Race issue" meant arguing about who ran the fastest. Money issues were handled by whoever was the banker in "Monopoly."
Catching fireflies could happily occupy an entire evening. It wasn’t odd to have two or three "best" friends. Being old, referred to anyone over 20. The net on a tennis court was the perfect height to play volleyball and rules didn’t matter. It was unbelievable that dodge ball wasn’t an Olympic event.
The worst thing you could catch from the opposite sex was cooties. It was magic when dad would "remove" his thumb. Scrapes and bruises were kissed and made better.
And nobody was prettier than Mom.
Isn’t it nice to look back to see where we’ve come from. Things have changed so dramatically in such a short period of time it’s almost impossible to guess where we’ll be in another fifty years. It’s exciting and damn scary all at the same time.
