Are you left-handed? I’ve been reading up on left-handedness and right-handedness after watching my two grandsons play in a Little League baseball game. I began wondering why we become one or the other. I was apparently born left-handed, but my father changed all that. When I was about 11 years old, he decided that in order for him to have a lifelong golfing partner he had to teach me how to play golf. Unfortunately, we weren’t a wealthy family, and I was taught to golf using right-handed clubs. After a time, I made the adjustment and moved on with my life. Later in my Little League years I was a pitcher. In one game I actually pitched half of the game right-handed and the second half left-handed. I’ve been ambidextrous ever since.
I decided to look a little further into the history of left-handedness and here’s the result . . .
In ancient Egypt artwork and hieroglyphics, it appears that most Egyptians were right-handed. They portrayed their enemies as left-handed, which can be seen as derogatory.
The ancient Greeks never crossed their left leg over their right, because they believed a person’s sex was determined by their position in the womb with the female, or “lesser sex”, sitting on the left side of the womb.
The Romans also had a bias against left-handedness. Roman customs required that when entering a friend’s home, it should be done placing the right foot forward. Also, Romans should always turn their head to the right when sneezing. The Latin word for left was sinister (meaning evil or ominous), the word for right was dexter (meaning skillful or adroit). Even the word ambidextrous literally means “right-handed with both hands”.
The Anglo-Saxon root for left is lyft, which means “weak”, “broken,” or “worthless”. Riht is for right and means “straight”, “just”, or “erect”.
The Bible is totally biased in favor of right-handed people. Both the Old and New Testaments always refer to “the right hand of God”. There is also a distinction made even in religious art. Jesus and God are nearly always drawn giving blessings with their right hand, and the devil is usually portrayed doing evil with his left.
I feel a bit slighted by all of those old-time religious fanatics and the Bible as well. It seems to me that the Greeks, Romans, Anglo-Saxons, and damn near anyone else had been brainwashed with the idea that left-handedness is evil. Even the Muslims require that you only eat food with the right hand. Just one more reason for me to take anything said by any organized religion as utter and complete nonsense.
LEFTIES ARISE AND PROCLAIM YOUR LEFTINESS TO THE WORLD
I’ve been watching the news from Russia and the Ukraine rather closely, as I suspect everyone has. The motivation for the conflict by Putin is something we can only guess at. Of course, he wants power, and he wants to rebuild the USSR and return to his glory days which were the days of his youth. Of course, a lot of his motivation is economic as well but it’s a full-time job struggling with his massive ego. In my opinion he’s done nothing but “shoot himself in the foot” or in more crasser terms “he stepped on his dick”. Not being a professional politician it’s only possible for me to guess at these things. I prefer to look for answers from an expert who knew about wars, up close and personal.
George Washington was an American military officer, statesman, and Founding Father who served as the first president of the United States from 1789 to 1797. Appointed by the Continental Congress as commander of the Continental Army, Washington led the Patriot forces to victory in the American Revolutionary War.
George Washington (1732 – 1799) from a letter to John Bannister, 21 April 1778
“Men may speculate as they will, they may talk of patriotism; they may draw a few examples from ancient story, of great achievements performed by its influence; but whoever builds upon it as a sufficient Basis for conducting a long and (bloody) War will find themselves deceived in the end . . . A great and lasting War can never be supported on this principle alone. It must be aided by a prospect of Interest or some reward. For a time, it may of itself push Men to Action, to bear much, to encounter difficulties; but it will not endure unassisted by Interest.”
I would hate to surprise and shock everyone when I say this loudly for all to hear:
Do you love going to the dentist like I do? I’ll bet you don’t, because most people would rather do anything than have strangers with their hands in your mouth drilling and poking and prodding and all of the associated fun of dental visits. I spent much more of my life in the dentist’s chair than I ever thought possible starting when I was 14 years old and had most of my front teeth knocked out while playing in a backyard football game. That was back in the day before mouthguards were even something anyone knew about, and it only cost me about six teeth and a lifetime of partial plates and dentist visits. You put forth what effort you must to maintain a reasonable appearance because as we all know bad teeth are not going to attract the opposite sex. Over the centuries there have been some strange superstitions about teeth. Some may be true and others ridiculous and here they are . . .
Don’t trust people with pointed teeth regardless of how charming they are! You never know, vampires traditionally have pointed teeth and it’s best not to take any chances.
People with obvious spaces between their teeth will be lucky, wealthy, and widely traveled. This was a common belief before orthodontists.
People who have well-placed teeth with no gaps have fine singing voices.
People with protruding teeth will live a short life. Remember, these were the days before braces.
Breaking a tooth is a sure sign a friend will die.
Those of you who have teeth with few cavities have a good deal of sexual strength. If you have teeth susceptible to cavities, you are prone to sexual weakness.
It’s bad luck to count the teeth of a baby. But if a baby is born with teeth, he or she will be a famous adult but only if you don’t count them.
It’s bad luck for a man with false teeth to marry a woman with false teeth. The marriage will be unhappy.
The ancients had a number of talismans to avoid a toothache. Split open a nutshell. Dig out the meat but be careful to keep the two halves intact. Put a dead spider in one half and close up the shell. Hang it around your neck on a string and you will never have another toothache.
Always carry a wolf’s tooth with you. You will never get a toothache.
Last but not least, if you cut your fingernails on a Friday, you will not have a toothache for a month.
There you have it, the wisdom of the ages concerning teeth. There’s only one thing I know for certain. If I had all of the money I’ve spent on my teeth, I could’ve bought that Lamborghini that remains on my bucket list.
You mentioned number freaking a few times over the past few years and it still fascinates me. The statistics and information compiled by number for readers boggles the mind or at least my mind. Their calculations are out there a little bit but interesting, nonetheless. Here are a few to tickle your fancy.
Theoretically you would have 4.72 sextillion bacteria in your body within 24 hours of being infection by a bug.
It would take 587 ticks simultaneously sucking to suck a man dry.
The average flow of water over Niagara Falls is 1,585,032 US gallons per second. It would take Niagara Falls 119 years, 293 days, to fill all five of the Great Lakes.
It is estimated that 45,000 Americans are injured by toilets every year. That calculates out to one injury every 18 minutes, 12 seconds.
A recent TV ad for a chain of optometrists claimed we each capture 24 million images with our eyes in a lifetime. Life expectancy in the US is approximately 77 years which calculates out to 101.2 seconds per image over the course of a lifetime.
There are about 109 million US households. The total amount spent by US advertisers every year is about $248 billion, of which the amount spent annually on TV advertisement is about $57 billion. That calculates TV advertising to approximately $522.94 household.
Approximately 152,467 square miles of the United States has been urbanized.
A wireless network across all of urbanized America would cost approximately 1 dollar per week per household. It would cost approximately $22.87 billion to operate such a network.
A golf course uses the same amount of freshwater as a town of 12,000 people.
On average a person will drink 31,996.52 quarts of water in a lifetime. With an average bathtub holding 528.34 quarts of water, you would be able to fill 60.56 bathtubs.
The land area in the United States, excluding lakes, is 3,536,294 square miles. If suddenly and without warning all of America’s convicted prisoners were to escape and disperse themselves equally across the country, each felon would require 1.66 square miles of land.
This is what happens when I have a slow news day and a lack of motivation to post. I’ll throw a few more of number freaking calculations your way as time goes on and I find some that are titillating.
Let’s start this silly post with another really stupid headline. I’ve always wondered how much the headline writer’s get paid and are they ever fired for these kinds of mistakes. They probably never get fired; they’re usually promoted to Editor.
COLD WAVE LINKED TO TEMPERATURES
Let us move onto another of my favorite categories, Retro Bumper Stickers. I’m pretty sure my better-half still has the second one on her current car.
YOU! Out of the gene pool!
Don’t Drink and Drive – You Might Spill Your Beer.
As always, I like throwing a quote into the mix. Here’s a pearl of wisdom from Coco Chanel, one of the hottest women ever (in her 20’s & 30’s).
Her Best Look!
“The most courageous act is still to think for yourself. Aloud.”
And last but not least, an honorable mention to another of our favorite stupid criminals.
NOT ALL THERE
Oklahoma City – Dennis Newton was on trial for the armed robbery of a convenience store in a district court when he fired his lawyer. The Assistant District Attorney said Newton, 47, was doing a fair job of defending himself until the store manager testified that Newton was the robber. Newton jumped up, accused the woman of lying and then said, “I should have blown your [expletive] head off.” The defendant paused, then quickly added, “-if I’d been the one that was there.” The jury took 20 minutes to convict Newton and recommend a 30-year sentence.
I’ve worked in a retail environment on a number of occasions during my somewhat illustrious career. Here are a few weird facts about retail related businesses and people. I know they may seem hard to believe but trust me when I say these are just the tip of the iceberg for weirdness. Enjoy . . .
Prostitution is legal in Germany; however, income from prostitution is taxed at a slightly higher rate than income from other occupations.
One in 10 Europeans was conceived on an IKEA bed, according to the company.
There are more copies of the IKEA catalog printed each year than the Bible.
The average child recognizes more than 200 company logos by the time they enter elementary school.
One in four homeless people in South Korea has a credit card.
There are approximately 18,000,000 items for sale at any given moment on eBay.
There are approximately $680 worth of eBay transactions every second.
The Malaysian government has banned car commercials featuring Brad Pitt because they are “an insult to Asians.”
First Starbucks opened in Seattle in 1971 at 2000 Western Ave., across.
from the historic Pike Place Market.
A Romanian taxi driver says his business has swelled since he started playing pornographic films in his cab for his customers.
According to market research firm NPD Fashionworld, 50% of all lingerie purchases are returned to the store.
The world’s first bra made completely of chocolate has gone on sale in Austria.
A Serbian tie maker is planning to launch a new range of penis cravats for the man who has everything.
A Colombian airline has promised free flights for life to any baby born on board one of their planes.
The first naked flight was made in 2003 carrying 87 passengers from Miami, Florida, to Cancun, Mexico.
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HAPPY MOTHER’S DAY TO ALL OF YOU MOTHERS OUT THERE
As I sit here preparing another posting I had an interesting thought. Over the years I’ve blogged way too often about politicians and political arguments. I’ve come to the realization that I haven’t accomplished much other than making myself feel better. Politicians are an easy target but don’t think they should be allowed to escape close scrutiny. Once you decide to be a politician your fate is in your own hands. If you play by the rules, treat people properly, and not lie through your teeth, you just might become a person who the country can be proud of. Unfortunately, it’s a very short list. Today’s posting can be looked at as taking cheap shots but that’s never been a problem for me, and it will continue. Enjoy these words of wisdom from the people we’ve elected.
“Thanks for the poncho.” Stated by Bill Clinton, when presented with the Romanian tricolor flag during a visit to that country.
“Give Bill a second term, and Al Gore and I will be turned loose to do what we really want to do.” Statement made by Hillary Clinton, speaking at a 1996 Democratic fundraiser area.
“We got a strong candidate. I’m trying to think of his name.” Spoken by Sen. Christopher Dodd
“The law I sign today directs new funds . . . to the task of collecting vital intelligence . . . on weapons of mass production.” By Pres. George W. Bush
“Beginning in February 1976, your assistance benefits will be discontinued. Reason: it has been reported to our office that you expired on January 1, 1976” From a letter by Illinois Department of Public Aid
“A zebra cannot change its spots.” Al Gore
“I’m not going to have some reporters pawing through our papers. We are the president.” Hillary Clinton
“I was provided with additional input that was radically different from the truth. I assisted in furthering that version.” Colonel Oliver North
“It isn’t pollution that’s harming the environment. It’s the impurities in our air and water that are doing it.” Dan Quayle
“When more and more people are thrown out of work, unemployment results.” Calvin Coolidge
I’ve decided to delve into a topic which most people try not to think about. That topic is war. The horrors that are raining down on the Ukraine population are more than terrible. It’s a little surprising to me that Russians would begin a war and immediately repeat many of the atrocities they suffered from in WW II on their former allies. The ironic twist is that the people of the Ukraine fought alongside the Russians in defense against the Germans. Putin is no military genius as we can plainly see but killing one’s former allies sends a scary message to their current allies. The Chinese must be a little nervous as well as some others. Don’t turn your back gentlemen, Putin is apparently losing his effing mind. I decided to dig into my endless supply of quotes from some of our favorite German and Russian leaders with their thoughts on war. They are a little scary as well.
“War is not merely a political act, but also a real political instrument, a continuation of political commerce, carrying out of the same by other means.” Karl von Clausewitz
“War is a part of a whole, that whole is politics.” Lenin
“War is sacred; it is instituted by God; it is one of the divine laws of the world; it upholds in men all the great and noble sentiments – honor, self-sacrifice, virtue and encourage. It is war alone that saves man from falling into the grossest materialism.” Hellmuth von Moltkey
“Wars are inevitable as long as society is divided into classes, so long as the exploitation of man by man exists.” Lenin
“War is a continuation of politics by every means.” Anonymous German Saying
“A great war leaves a country with three armies: an army of cripples, an army of mourners, and an army of thieves.” Anonymous German Saying
And finally, for those of us who served in Southeast Asia who heard this quote so many times.
I’ve always wondered about certain things that’ve become part of the human experience. But why is the question. Why is the middle finger such a bad thing? Why is breaking a mirror bad luck? Why does anyone pay attention to such nonsense? I suppose that’s the main question for all of these superstitious types of things.
I’ve always been drawn to the number three for some reason, but I haven’t a clue as to why. I honestly could care less why, it’s just something I picked up as a kid and it’s still with me. Just like all these other things. One of them that really confuses me is the number “13”. What causes world famous, highly educated architects to build buildings worth millions of dollars but refuse to post a 13th floor. There really is a 13th floor but they choose to call it the 14th floor. How stupid is that? I decided to check out the number “13” and its history and here are a handful of odd and silly explanations. The number actually began as a good thing with some of the pagan religions but became a bad thing during the Middle Ages.
Judas, the betrayer, made it 13 at the last supper.
The Jews murmured 13 times against God during the exodus from Egypt.
The 13th psalm concerns wickedness and corruption.
The circumcision of Israel occurred in the 13th year.
In a twelve-month period, there are 13 full moons, and a woman on a 28-day menstrual cycle will be “unclean” as stated by Leviticus, 13 times a year.
There are 13 zodiac signs (Gemini is counted as two)
The Christ child received the three Magi on the thirteenth day of his life.
And there is also “triskaidekaphobia”.
I read all this ridiculousness (mostly religious claptrap) and just shake my head until occasionally when I’m put in a position where I need to make a decision between options. I look them over carefully, study them carefully, discuss them with trusted friends, and then I almost always choose the third one. I guess I’m as screwed-up as everyone else, but you need to know that I also step on sidewalk cracks and walk under ladders as often as I possibly can to convince myself that superstitions are just plain silly. But you should also know that if there’s a black cat nearby, I still tread carefully.
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