Archive for the ‘bill clinton’ Tag

09/16/2021 Favorite Sayings & Quotes   Leave a comment

For years I’ve collected lists, sayings, and quotations. The more I find, the more you get to read. One of these days I’m going to sit down and put together some of my thoughts, my limericks, and my musings. They’re sure to be just as interesting as these folks. And in

  • It’s not death that alarms me, but dying surely does.
  • A diplomat is a person who always remembers a woman’s birthday, but never her age.
  • In wine there is truth. Pliny the Elder
  • It’s not the men in my life I worry about, it’s the life in my men. Mae West
  • I can remember way back when a liberal was one who was generous with his own money. Will Rogers
  • Fish and guests smell in three days. Ben Franklin
  • A pessimist thinks all women are bad and an optimist hopes they are.
  • The ultimate rejection is when your hand falls asleep while masturbating.
  • Sex is only dirty, if it’s done right.
  • A single death is a tragedy, a million deaths is a statistic. Joseph Stalin
  • Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.
  • I prefer an interesting device to a boring virtue.
  • What goes around, comes around.
  • He who hesitates is last. Mae West
  • Some of us are becoming the men we wanted to marry. Gloria Steinem
  • I am not young enough to know everything.
  • The zoo is a place of refuge were savage beasts are protected from people.

I found this list while digging around in some old boxes a few days ago. I eliminated a few that were dated like cheap shots at Bill Clinton. But those that remain I felt were worth sharing with you. Most of them I absolutely love especially those pearls of wisdom supplied by Mae West. Would’ve loved to have met her.

GO WEST (MAE) YOUNG MAN

01-22-2014 – Hail to the Chief!   Leave a comment

In the past I’ve been known to take a few potshots at politicians, both local and federal. I don’t ever intend to stop doing that but in all fairness I thought I’d quote a few presidents of both parties to show all of you that stupidity and wiseassiness is endemic to  both.

I think it’s fairly obvious in this day and age that the office of the presidency has lost some of it’s sparkle. We no longer assume that any president has all the answers or in some cases has any answers. They’re  just regular people who were for some reason elected into an extremely important office and they spend most of their time trying not look stupid. Unfortunately for us the majority of the time they’re not very successful.

I’m listing these quotations in no particular order.  I think it’s only fair that I leave the Presidents speak for themselves so you can make your own judgments.

* * *

“Even though most people agree… I’m presenting a fair deal, the fact that they don’t take it means that I should somehow do a Jedi mind-meld with these folks and convince them to do what’s right.” —President Obama, mixing up Star Wars and Star Trek references while discussing working with Republicans in Congress (March 1, 2013)

”I was under medication when I made the decision to burn the tapes.” —Richard Nixon

‘Too many good docs are getting out of the business. Too many OB-GYNs aren’t able to practice their love with women all across this country.”—President George W. Bush, Sept. 6, 2004

”Did you ever think that making a speech on economics is a lot like pissing down your leg? It seems hot to you, but it never does to anyone else.” —Lyndon Johnson

“Some years ago I became president of Columbia University and learned within 24 hours to be ready to speak at the drop of a hat, and I learned something more, the trustees were expected to be ready to speak at the passing of the hat.” – Dwight D. Eisenhower

”I think this is the most extraordinary collection of talent, of human knowledge, that has ever been gathered together at the White House, with the possible exception of when Thomas Jefferson dined alone.” —President John Kennedy, at a dinner honoring Nobel Prize winners of the Western Hemisphere, the White House, April 29, 1962

‘Politics is supposed to be the second-oldest profession. I have come to realize that it bears a very close resemblance to the first.” —Ronald Reagan

”If one morning I walked on top of the water across the Potomac River, the headline that afternoon would read: ‘President Can’t Swim.” —Lyndon Johnson

”If I had to name my greatest strength, I guess it would be my humility. Greatest weakness, it’s possible that I’m a little too awesome.” —Barack Obama, at the 2008 Al Smith Dinner

”My esteem in this country has gone up substantially. It is very nice now when people wave at me, they use all their fingers.” —President Jimmy Carter

”Being president is like running a cemetery: you’ve got a lot of people under you and nobody’s listening.” —Bill Clinton

”He can compress the most words into the smallest ideas better than any man I ever met.” —Abraham Lincoln, referring to a lawyer

* * *

I don’t see anything all that impressive in this posting which doesn’t surprise me in the least. Presidents are just as silly and stupid as the rest of us except they dress better and have a nicer place to live.  Hopefully “We the People” will never take them as seriously as they seem to take themselves, that could be a serious mistake.

10-29-2013 Journal Entry   2 comments

Well I was planning on spending some time writing about a few useless things today but it appears that won’t be happening.  I was out of bed and on my second cup of coffee and feeling pretty good.  That ended just a few minutes ago without much warning.  I was going downstairs to take out some trash and to turn on the computer.  Our main staircase is about thirty steps straight down to the ground floor and I just made that trip in just under two seconds. 

Now I’m sitting here waiting for my ride to the hospital because I think I may have broken my leg or my ankle or just injured them badly.  The pain is bad but not critical but I can’t walk on it at all.  So I crawled to the computer and I’m sitting here writing this just to keep my mind occupied for a while. 

I should have known that something bad was going to happen after the weird dreams I experienced just before waking this morning.  I dreamt about meeting up with Bill Clinton, having a few drinks at his club, and then being abandoned when he and his driver unexpectedly left me standing along the road. 

I walked a few blocks and managed to  flag down a large car which strangely enough had a cargo of inmates from a local jail.  The driver was kind enough to relay a message via radio to Slick Willie.  He was given our location and told where to met us so he could pick me up.   As his limo drove up he was standing up in the open sun roof waving at the many females walking along the side walk.  He waved to me once, winked cutely, and then drove right on by and off into the sunset. All in all it was typical of what I would have expected from that SOB.  Unfortunately Monica had been nowhere in sight during our encounter and fortunately for me Hillary was missing as well.

That’s the kind of dream (nightmare) I never have.  Dreaming of liberals should have immediately alerted me to the real possibility of problems today but I wasn’t paying close enough attention.   So here I sit in anticipation of a not-so-great day in an emergency room, being poked and prodded, and returning home unable to walk without crutches for the foreseeable future. 

Just freaking wonderful Bill.  I thought the days of you making me miserable were over but you’re that proverbial gift that keeps on giving.  Shoot me now.

07-22-2013   2 comments

I hesitate to write about today’s subject because I know many of my female readers will take me to task.  As Groucho Marx used to say on You Bet Your Life, "Today’s topic is foreplay. Say the secret word and win a hundred dollars".

The term foreplay gets tossed around all to often when men have their discussions about being successful lovers.  It comes across as more of a joke topic than anything they should take too seriously.  Most women are out-spoken in their demands that men become more accomplished in this most important area. I can’t argue that fact because over the years I’ve found it to be true.

I think many men are good at foreplay but even they are accused at times of being unskilled.  It’s become an easy way for women to keep a man on the defensive and to force him into working even harder than usual.  It’s those passive-aggressive remarks like “Oh, that was nice but my old boyfriend wasn’t good at that either”, that can really kill the mood. I’m not being too critical of them because it’s just human nature to try and reap the most benefits from every situation. I’ve known a few women who considered successful foreplay by a man to be when he removed his pants.  As with all human beings, everyone is different in their approach to just about anything. 

I once had a fairly successful interlude with a young woman who told me up front there would be no actual intercourse.  She was of the Bill Clinton school of sexual definition in that oral sex was not really sex.  We never had actual intercourse but OMG it really didn’t matter, that  girl had some serious skills.  It was one of the few times in my life where I was totally satisfied with a developing relationship and was really disappointed when her flight was called and she flew away.  I guess that’s why to this day I love airports and flight attendants but hate flying.  Ahhhh good memories.

I was watching a TV show a while back and heard the term "King of Foreplay" used during a conversation about relationships.  I’m certainly not claiming that title but I’ve studied as hard as I could over the years and I’m close to reaching that goal.  If I could live at least seventy-five more years I might just make it.  There are no hard and fast rules on foreplay because what works for one women doesn’t work for the next.  It can be very difficult and time consuming for the inexperienced man to figure these things out.

After cruising around the net I found this list of foreplay tips on how to be a better lover.  I’ll make a short comment on each since I’ve probably tried them all at one time or another. As with everything, some worked and some didn’t.  See what you think.  For you inexperienced young guys out there pay attention and learn from your elders.

Masturbate for your partner – Didn’t Work
Masturbate each other – Worked
Masturbate your partner – Worked
Suck nipples – Worked
Role-Play – Didn’t Work
Whole body massage – Worked
Give a lap dance or strip tease – Never as Foreplay
Shower together – Never as Foreplay
Tie one of you up – Really Worked
Oral Sex – Really Worked
Tickle – Never Tried
Nibble earlobes – Worked
Spank playfully – Really Worked
Talk dirty to each other – Worked
Blindfold one of you – Really Worked
Used sex toys – Really Worked
Shave each other’s private areas – Worked
Suck fingertips – Worked
Watch a porno – Never as Foreplay
Play an Adult Sex Game – Never Tried
Drip hot wax on your lover – Really worked
Body paint each other – Never as Foreplay

Hopefully the woman your trying to seduce doesn’t require any more than two or three of them.  My advice is to become proficient in them all and begin your life-long search for that "King of Foreplay" title.

We all know who Dr. Ruth is I think.  She’s the four and a half foot tall sex expert who has the answers to every sex question.  Here are a few tips from her for  those men who are having difficulties.

  • Check it out. If anything "down there" hurts or isn’t working the way you think it should, don’t wonder about it — see a doctor. For him, difficulty maintaining an erection and, for her, pain during intercourse always requires a medical evaluation.
  • Don’t zone out. Many couples are embarrassed to ask their partner to stimulate erogenous zones that are very pleasurable but can be considered taboo. The nipples, the anus, the back of the neck — all have nerve endings. So don’t be shy. The only shame when it comes to foreplay is a missed opportunity for pleasure.
  • Stay the course. There is a moment before orgasm when many women give up, thinking nothing will happen. It’s a self-sabotaging mistake. Stay with the stimulation and the orgasm will come.
  • There is not an exact science to foreplay. You and your partner(s) should understand what you need and want from each other. While we speak about foreplay techniques we must regard before anything else that every human being is distinctive and diverse from each person else and the above-mentioned foreplay techniques have a different impact from one person to another. Accustom yourself to the occasion.

Isn’t Dr. Ruth just terrific.  I’ve always wondered if growing up at “zipper height” caused her to pursue sex as her life’s work.  Just a thought.

Research indicates more than 85% of ladies reached more intense orgasms when their partners spent more than 10 minutes on foreplay.  So boys, increase your number of  foreplay techniques and become more sexually adventurous.  It’s worth every second for you to bone up (pun intended) on your skills.  They’ll serve you well for many decades to come (again pun intended).

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