As I roll out of bed this morning it’s done with the beginnings of a mediocre and annoying hangover. It all started with the arrival of my nephew from Dallas at midnight last night. Unlike my better-half and me, his air travel from Texas went as well as could be expected and he arrived on time with all of his luggage (miracle of miracles).
We arrived home where he desperately needed food and drink and some time to relax. We finally made it to bed around 2:30 am after being finished off by a large bottle of really excellent Sangria. Boy is my head throbbing this morning.
Our plans for today, if the weather cooperates, include a touristy trip along the coast to Portland Head Light (Lighthouse) at the entrance to Portland Harbor. We cruised through a number of towns on the way including Old Orchard Beach, Scarborough, Cape Elizabeth, and South Portland. The weather was a huge pain like always but we muddled through.
Later this evening with my better-half in tow we’ll be off once again for a night of excellent food and drink at one of Portland’s best pubs, The Great Lost Bear. Hundreds of beers on tap and the super hot chicken wings that could possible set your hair on fire. A perfect time to kick back, relax, and enjoy the interesting atmosphere and even more interesting people.
‘One Lone Lobsterman’
The rest of the week should be fun if the weather cooperates. Later in the week we have a deep sea fishing trip scheduled and a few hours on the water chasing and catching a few fish will cap off his visit.
The rainy days continue here in Maine. All the better for our gardens but a little annoying as well. The better-half surprised me yesterday with an adlib Father’s Day celebration. We’d leave the house early and look for a small out of the way place to have breakfast. The only requirement was that the restaurant be small and some where we’d never been before.
This was the best scenery shot of the morning because it rained the entire time we were driving.
After driving along the coast to several small restaurants we were becoming frustrated. In one restaurant there was not only a forty-five minute wait for a table but a half-hour wait to get into the stupid parking lot. We quickly decided that wasn’t the place we were looking for.
Twenty minutes later we cruised into the city of South Portland, just across the harbor from Portland. As we turned a corner what did we stumbled onto but a Mexican restaurant called Taco Trio. The entire town was barely awake and moving but this tiny little place was bustling with customers.
After some discussion we both decided on a breakfast burrito with everything. The order arrived twenty minutes later at our tiny little table with two four pound burritos with everything in them. And I do mean everything!! We had sides of freshly made tomato salsa, a pineapple and cilantro salsa, and enough hot sauce to float a boat. It was the best Father’s Day meal I’ve ever had and I suspect my mouth will still be burning in three more hours.
One last thing. The war between me and all of Mother Nature’s critters has come to an end. Rather than kill as many of them as possible I decided on a more peaceful solution. Thanks to a nearby Lowes and three hours of hard work I was able to fence in my garden frames. It’s been two days now and there’ve been no further middle of the night raids. Here’s a couple of photo’s of the new setup.
For the first time in my life I was able to get the upper hand on Mother Nature. I hope my late father is up there watching. He was never able to win using electric fencing, human hair, guns, and any thing else he could think of.
HAPPY FATHER’S DAY DAD – We finally won one.
I’m spending this rainy morning in bed for at least another hour because watching old reruns of Sports Night has become part of my morning routine. It was a show I enjoyed watching back in 2000 even though I’m really not a sports guy. The show still holds up pretty well and the inane patter between the characters still makes me smile.
Have any of you noticed just how many of the old shows seem to be resurfacing on such a large number of channels. It started two years ago for me when I stumbled upon reruns of Sgt. Preston of the Yukon. I never missed that show as a kid and thoroughly enjoyed watching all of the episodes once again. Is it a little lame? Absolutely! Is it an easy and relaxing half hour? Absolutely! Then followed Gunsmoke, Bonanza, Roy Rogers, The Lone Ranger, Dragnet, One Adam 12, and a host of others. I began to wonder why it was happening so frequently.
Can it be that the networks are beginning to see a change in viewing habits? Is it possible that the ratings for these old shows are higher than those of the half hour long commercials that seem to be on every channel? Is it more fun to spend a relaxing half hour watching a show where the good guys always win and the bad guys always lose? Can it be that people are sick to death of watching hour long shows about corrupt politicians, corrupt police officers, heroic serial killers like Dexter or pedophiles who aren’t responsible for their criminal behavior and blame everything on society? It’s a politically correct "No-No" watching those old shows where it’s celebrated to be patriotic, honest, religious, and a responsible citizen.
God forbid anyone should love their country and voice it out loud these days. We wouldn’t want to piss off the media elite who decide what we should be watching and how to think. How can the Mainstream Media possibly maintain control of the masses and continue to dictate our politics, morals, and outlook on life when we’d rather watch Joe Friday or the Lone Ranger doing the right thing no matter what. I think our kids would certainly benefit from a stream of positive role models, don’t you?
I find myself drawn to those simpler and more honest shows even though they aren’t up to speed with all of the politically correct crap we’re being fed these days. Maybe it’s time for the people of this country to once again hear some positive messages instead of the constant in-your-face drumbeat of commercials, reality shows, and just plain crap that’s filling the airways.
Find that cable channel that’s decided to step back and regain some simple and positive programming and support them. When their ratings begin to climb the advertising money will soon follow. More money begets more of the same type of programming and all of us and our kids are the winners.
I’m not normally a person captivated by breaking news events nor do I feel the need to be the first person to spread the word about certain occurrences but today is an exception. So here goes. . .
I received a tidbit of news this morning from an anonymous source that my previously mentioned garden marauder, aka "The Skunk", may have been fatally injured during the night. I’m aware that my earlier threats against his life could possibly make me a person of interest in his disappearance and possible death.
I’ll probably spend the day waiting around for the inevitable arrival of the animal homicide investigators. I also heard there’s been a rash of similar deaths in the last few weeks and no real leads or clues have been discovered. It’s only a matter of time until they pick up the rumor of my blog and those rather inappropriate death threats.
At 3 am my source just happened to be nearby when the "The Skunk" was observed slowly slinking through my yard towards my garden. It just so happened that just as he was nearing the garden he was accosted by a couple of strangers. Within seconds loud and shrill screaming was heard by neighbors sounding much like someone being assaulted and badly injured. The screaming continued even louder but seemed to be slowly moving towards a nearby wooded area where it suddenly stopped. All was quiet in the neighborhood for the rest of the night.
After listening to that report and being the experienced criminal investigator I am, the next morning I hurried to the alleged crime scene. While I found no traces of blood or indications of a tussle I continued collecting what few facts that were available.
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Fact #1 – I actually heard the screams outside my bedroom window that night but saw nothing suspicious.
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Fact #2 – I found no evidence at the scene of violence being perpetrated.
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Fact #3 – My garden was untouched for the first time in weeks.
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Fact #4 – I personally saw no suspicious characters in the neighborhood that night nor did I hear anything that would help me identify the unknown subject or subjects (the UNSUBS).
The next day I was approached by two investigators who required me to supply them with an alibi for the time in question. Since they could find no forensic evidence at the scene they began the process of building a circumstantial case with me as their chief suspect. While my better-half was asleep beside me that night she was unable to verify my presence or supply me with an believable alibi.
‘Suspect #1’
Later that same day I heard a rumor that I immediately conveyed to the investigators concerning two suspicious and dangerous looking characters seen in the area. They’d been spotted with the victim near the scene of the alleged crime on the night in question by an anonymous source,who I refused to identify. They were very upset with me but I do have the constitution right to protect my sources.
“Suspect #2’
A little later in the day an APB was sent out to all nearby neighborhoods with a BOLO on these two suspects. They were described briefly as being similar in stature, approximately 24 inches tall, wearing shaggy overcoats, and with a mean and hungry look in their eyes. Other information received indicated they were members of a notorious local gang called "The Coyotes". Many suspicious deaths have occurred in the past in this area that were attributed to this gang but no arrests have never been made.
Hopefully this will get these pesky investigators off my butt. They’re now requesting all of my guns for ballistic testing on the side chance the victim’s body will eventually be located. I immediately checked with my attorney and we refused to give up my weapons. They left in a huff but there is no doubt in my mind that this matter wasn’t going to be dropped anytime soon.
Trust me, they’ll never find the body.
I’m still in bed this morning because it’s raining, I’m all warm and cozy, and I don’t wanna get up. The Spring season is slowly moving towards Summer and most of my ridiculous yard and garden related chores have been completed. Except for one.
I have to say that I’m still a bit irritated that I haven’t been able to put an end to my night marauder who is haunting my garden. For some reason for the first time in years I have an effing skunk who has been undoing most of my good works in the garden almost every night. This fat bastard has been patrolling our property for some years without ever bothering the garden. He apparently discovered an abundant supply of worms and/or grubs in the soil and has been digging for them furiously. The fact that he has killed many of my plants in the process is the source of my current anger.
‘This isn’t him but it could be his twin brother.’
On top of it all this damn skunk is huge. If he grows just a little more I could probably put a saddle on him and take a ride. He also has a habit of spraying anything and everything in his immediate area if bothered. A year of so ago the neighbor’s cat had a midnight run-in with him which resulted in our backyard reeking of skunk for many days. I really don’t want that happening again.
My secret plan was to sit on my deck with a pistol in my lap and hopefully put a stop to all of the night time nonsense. I sat quietly the first night until 3 am reading my Kindle and maintaining a close surveillance of the garden. It was a quiet night with no activity. Then it began to rain which immediately chased me off to bed. I slept the sleep of angels knowing that the garden was safe for the night. What a moron I am. I awoke in the morning and walked out to the garden and the place was a mess. He’d been busy digging up tomatoes, cucumbers, and a number of pepper plants and did it all in a driving rainstorm. To say I was not happy would be a huge understatement.
I spent the next night on the deck armed, dangerous, and pissed off. I never heard or saw a thing and the next morning more plants had been destroyed. That SOB is making me a little crazy. I’ve since replanted all of the damaged plants and I’ll continue to monitor things as best I can and rid myself of this pest.
I have a bad history withy skunks and as a young guy was known to hunt them. My father paid me and a friend a bounty for each one eliminated from damaging his garden. The smell of skunk still makes me a little queasy since I was sprayed one hot summer evening in 1962. I was on my knees looking under a shed for an escaping skunk and BAM, he was right there and sprayed me across the side of my head. Be warned, that is not something you ever want to experience. I was forced to shave my head by my mother and wash it thoroughly numerous times with tomato juice. Nothing really worked very well and for more than a month every time my head got wet or sweaty you could smell skunk. A lost a few friends that summer.
With any luck at all before summer’s end I’ll soon be posting a photo of his corpse. He’s mocked me long enough and now it’s personal.
My Rule #6 – Don’t screw with my garden, or else.
A week or so ago I posted a list of rather disgusting and disturbing facts about food and the hundreds of possible bacterial issues they provide. Never let it be said that I don’t pass along a continuous stream of useless information to my audience.
With that thought in mind I decided today I’d post a list of somewhat interesting facts about everyone’s favorite subject. . . . Sex! I’m also reasonably sure that none of these facts will initiate any sort of sexual arousal in anyone.. Read on and learn a few things you really don’t want or need to know.
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In an international survey, 14 percent of people admit to having slept with a friend’s lover behind his/her back.
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Some women are allergic to their male partners semen, a condition known as human seminal plasma hypersensitivity.
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One study reports that autoerotic asphyxia, or cutting off oxygen to the brain to achieve greater sexual satisfaction, claims the lives of 500-1000 men each year.
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Keeping a condom in your wallet is a bad idea. The constant friction and temperature changes can cause microscopic tears allowing sperm to get through.
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According to one researcher, women have a higher likelihood than men to settle for a mediocre sex life and unmet emotional needs.
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The average U.S. male’s sperm count has declined thirty percent in the last three decades.
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The average size of an erect penis is five inches, while the average flaccid penis is three and a half inches.
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The sale of sex toys and vibrators is banned in Alabama and Mississippi.
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Wearing too much makeup can mask the scent that attracts men to women during ovulation. An experiment found that a women’s armpit scent was at it’s most attractive to men between the end of her cycle and ovulation, but that this smell is easily obscured by cosmetics.
And here’s my favorite interesting sex fact:
So much for your sex education class. I hope I’ve filled your heads with lots of annoying goodies you can think about while enjoying your next sexual interlude.
I thought I’d take a little time today to give you a general update of the garden. I realize that it’s still early in the season but with the warm weather finally arriving the plants have really begun to grow. As usual there have been a few fatalities in the garden. Two jalapenos dried up and fell over and three of the cucumber plants followed suit. The peppers had their stems cut which confused me for a time. I thought it might have been deer but a nearby nurseryman advised of a rash of cut worm complaints in recent weeks. They love chewing through the stems of healthy plants. I’ll have to keep an eye out for them and squish as many as I possibly can.
The cucumbers were ones I purchased from Lowes and I’ve come to find out that most plants purchased from local nurseries seem to thrive much more than those purchased from these big box stores. I think it all comes down to how the plants are handled. Unfortunately at any big box store, they hire a bunch of high school or college students at minimum wage and set them loose on the plants. Too much watering is just as damaging as too little and those kids are clueless.
With the new plants in hand I replaced the dead ones last night. I spent some time chopping down the seed stalks of my rhubarb plants too. This should help them fill out a little more and give me a better harvest when it comes time to make jam. I was surprised to find a number of rhubarb seedlings in one of the other frames. The seeds must have blown there last year and took root this spring. I replanted them nearer the rhubarb patch will I’m going to be forced to enlarge next season.
‘There always seems to be one on these guys hanging around.’
I finally began caging the tomato plants when I found the first bloom on one plant. I was going to wait until later in the month but the plants are growing so quickly they’ll need the support from the cages to keep the fruit off the ground.
As you can see by the photos the entire garden including the herbs are looking good. If this keeps up for another couple of months we will have a ton of product to deal with this Fall. I have a feeling we’ll be canning a lot more than we did last year with a much larger variety as well.
After our fun day trip to Portsmouth and Kennebunkport we decided we needed some additional cruising time but a little further north in Maine. It was one of those days where we just drive. No GPS, no real destination, just drive until we get lost. The above photograph illustrates why traveling around in Maine is such fun. It seems that you can’t drive for more than a few minutes without seeing these kind of picturesque scenes.
It makes driving a real chore because you want to stop at every location but they’re everywhere. There are hundreds of lakes and ponds and any one of them would result in fantastic photographs.
It was getting to be lunch time and we were starving and craving some good old Maine seafood. This place pictured below was just a shack along the highway and since we had nothing to lose we stopped. It’s places like this that always seem to have really good food and fresh from the ocean seafood. We pulled in, ordered, and weren’t the least bit disappointed.
‘It doesn’t look like much but don’t be fooled.’
‘The prices were reasonable and the food terrific.’
We sat at a picnic table in the parking lot and pigged out. A sunny day, fresh fish, and and a huge container of iced tea. It just doesn’t get much better than that. We ended up driving more than two hundred miles before finally finding our way home.
‘Another great Maine day.’
‘One last scene from the drive.’
As I promised, today’s posting will conclude our day trip to Portsmouth, NH and Kennebunkport, ME. I left off last time as we were leaving the Red Hook Brewery in New Hampshire after a nice lunch and a tour of the brewery. I still was loving that beer buzz I had from tasting the many beer samples on the tour. Unfortunately by the time we reached the Kennebunkport area the glow was gone.
Our last visit to Kennebunkport had been prior to Memorial Day and things have changed dramatically in the last week. The tourists were out in force and the parking difficulties have returned. As much as I hate paying for parking there really isn’t much of a choice in such a small village directly adjacent to the Atlantic Ocean. Three bucks an hour is enough to keep our visit to a two hour minimum.
We took a quick walk around town hitting a few shops and generally getting a feel for the place. Many of the shops from last year were gone and replaced by new owners wanting to make their fortune. Good luck with that.
As always we hung around just long enough to make a visit to Federal Jack’s restaurant. We never miss that stop when we’re in town because the food is great and the beer is plentiful. This is the original microbrewery location that eventually spawned the Shipyard Brewing Company. I switched back to white wine for my meal of freshly caught and cooked Fish & Chips.
The town is famous for the Bush family and as you can see the entire population is celebrating the 90th birthday of Barbara Bush this month. As we left town we took a short ride up the coast past Walker Point where the Bush family has their summer residence. The day remained gray and chilly but that’s just life in Maine in early June.
We arrived back home with a camera full of pictures and full bellies. Now it’s time to relax for a while and watch a movie. We’re both hoping for warmer weather soon but I suppose that’s Mother Natures decision as always.
Last Wednesday was a day we don’t often have. My better-half and I were able to combine some semi-decent weather with one of her rare days off. We decided to start our day in Portsmouth, NH where we could shop a little, enjoy people watching, and take a few updated photographs of the waterfront and harbor.
Even though the weather wasn’t perfect (cloudy and chilly) we still enjoyed roaming around Old Town. The shops there are as diverse as they can possibly be making the visits much more interesting. Jewelry, clothing, trinkets, and of course food. We did our best to sample and purchase a little of everything.
The older part of town is filled with many interesting buildings that have been repurposed many times over the years. Lots of college and high school students filling the streets to make things even more interesting. I have to say that the new fad of coloring one’s hair a vibrant blue doesn’t do much for me but I’m acquiring a real appreciation for the women’s new obsession with tights. OMFG!
‘What’s a day without music?
‘Lady Blue’
After walking around town for a few hours I found something interesting. It was a building decoration which captured completely the message my feet were sending to me.
We ended the day with a stop at the Red Hook Brewery for a light lunch and then a tour of the facility. It never hurts to learn a little more about beer making and those free beer samples didn’t hurt either. While I’m not much of a beer drinker it’s nice to have an occasional beer buzz that early in the day. We departed the Portsmouth area for a leisurely ride up the coast to one of out favorite places, Kennebunkport. I’ll save that part of the trip for my next posting.
All in all we had a very nice day.
everyuselessthing.com 