⚡Stupid Newspaper Headline⚡ Leave a comment
11/16/2021 Mindbusters Leave a comment
I needed a break from writing today and decided to offer something a little different than the usual.
I posted this quiz for the first time in 2008. No one was able to answer all of the questions then, not even me. Some are very easy and some are very difficult, hence the name. My best response back in the day was 21 out of 25 correct answers. Have a go at it and see how you do. I’ll post all of the answers in a few days. That will give you a little time to work on it. Have fun . . .
Each number corresponds to a common phrase.
Example: 12 = I. in a F. Answer: 12 = INCHES in a FOOT.
26 = L. of the A.
7 = W. of the W.
1001 = A.N.
12 = S. of the Z.
54 = C. in a D. (with the J.)
9 = P. in the S.S.
88 = P.K.
18 = H. on a G.C.
32 = D.F. at which W.F.
90 = D. in a R.A.
200 = D. for P.G. in M.
8 = S. on a S.S.
3 = B.M. (S.H.T.R.)
4 = Q. in a G.
24 = H. in a D.
1 = W. on a U.
5 = D. in a Z.C.
57 = H.V. 11 = P. on a F.T.
1000 = W. that a P. is W.
29 = D. in F. in a L.Y.
40 =D. and N. of the G.F.
64 = S. on a C.
13 = D. in a B.D.
52 = W. in a Y.
POST YOUR NUMBER IN THE COMMENT LINE
***Limerick💗Alert*** 1 comment
There was a young lady named Jo
Who was serviced four times in a row;
When she cried: “Give me more!”
A weak voice from the floor
Protested: “I just can’t, it’s too sore.”
11/15/2021 Amy Winehouse Remembered Leave a comment
I’ve been trying to write a memorial for Amy for some time now. To say I miss her would be an understatement. What I miss more would be all the music she would have written and performed if she would have lived. She was a powerful voice for her music and her generation. The photographs here are how I wish to remember her. Not the photo’s of a dying drug addict. I think she was young and naïve and running with a questionable crowd of so-called musicians and hangers-on. She had no self-control and hurried towards her death with open arms. I loved her voice and her songs and I hate her for robbing me of what could have been many years of listening to her sing to me. I carry her music with me always. She’s the first thing I see each morning when I turn on my phone and computer. I talk with her every day. Sounds really stupid I know, but I loved the girl pictured here.
You’re missed young lady.
RIP JADE
11/14/2021 Trivia Day Leave a comment
Today is Sunday, a day to relax and enjoy some trivia. It’s also necessary for me to help celebrate a family birthday, so I too can relax and enjoy this little bit of sunshine we’re having. It won’t be long before the snow flies. Enjoy . . .
- A Crocodiles tongue is attached to the roof of its mouth.
- A group of larks is called an exaltation.
- A kangaroo can’t jump unless its tail is touching the ground.
- A male emperor moth can smell a female emperor moth up to 7 miles away.
- A man had the hiccups for 69 years.
- A millipede has 4 legs on each segment of it’s body.
- A mole can dig over 250 feet of tunnel in a single night.
- A monkey was once tried and convicted for smoking a cigarette in South Bend, Indiana.
- A noisy restaurant is 100,000 times as loud as a watch ticking. Rock Concert 1,000,000,000 times as loud. Loud headphones 10,000,000,000. Shotgun blast 1,000,000,000,000
- A person at rest generates as much heat as a 100watt light bulb
- A group of owls is called a parliament.
- A pregnant goldfish is called a twit.
- A quarter of Russia is covered by forest.
- A raisin dropped in a glass of fresh champagne will bounce up and down continually from the bottom of the glass to the top.
- A rat can last longer without water than a camel.
- A rhinoceros’ horn is made of compacted hair.
- A Saudi Arabian woman can get a divorce if her husband doesn’t give her coffee
- A shark can detect one part of blood in 100 million parts of water.
- A group of ravens is called a murder.
- A shark can grow a new set of teeth in a week
- A silicon chip a quarter inch square has the capacity of the orignal 1949 ENIAC computer, which occupied a city block.
- A sizable oak tree, during the typical growing season, gives off 28,000 gallons of moisture.
- A snail can have about 25,000 teeth
- A group of toads is called a knot.
- About 300 million cells die in your body every minute.
HAVE A RELAXING SUNDAY
11/14/2021 ⚡Stupid Newspaper Headline⚡ Leave a comment
“Police Suspicious After Body Found in Graveyard”
11/13/2021 ⚡Stupid Newspaper Headline⚡ Leave a comment
11/13/2021 Nakedness is Happiness Leave a comment
I’m sitting here today and enjoying my weekend. With winter bearing down on us and those delicious cold winter nights in my immediate future, I’m excited. Today I want to talk about sleeping naked. Sleeping naked is something that I’ve done my entire life except for a couple of years in the Army and a month here and there while in training as a police officer. I absolutely love it but I’ve been unable to do it for the last 18 months. Following my many issues with my cancer diagnosis I’ve been forced to sleep in a pair of shorts. I don’t think I need to explain why. Since most of my medical nightmares are ending my body is finally returning to normal and I’m about to give up the shorts and really enjoy this winter and the cold nights the way they ought to be enjoyed.
Over the years I’ve wasted many hours attempting to explain to certain individuals that sleeping naked is the only way to go. Why is it that most people become so set in their ways they can’t change no matter how good the argument might be for them to do so. Sleeping naked just seems to me to be the most natural and comfortable way to become completely rested. I’ve known some people who came to bed dressed for battle. One in particular loves wearing a long-sleeved T-shirt, full-length sweatpants, and usually a pair of totally unfashionable and ugly socks. Who in God’s name could possibly relax and get a good nights sleep dressed in an outfit like that? It’s even more of an issue if you’re coming to bed expecting a sexual encounter. It would take 20 minutes to find everything you’re looking for.
Nudity is the main issue I suppose. Why are people so repressed sexually and consumed with body image? I’ve known drop-dead gorgeous women who were so attractive they could’ve have any man they wanted for a sexual partner. They still choose to hide under the covers and are fearful of being seen naked. The old saying “if you’ve got it, flaunt it.” apparently doesn’t apply to everyone. On the reverse side of this issue I’ve known a few women who were anything but runway models and they spent more time naked than I did. Don’t even get me started about the arguments I’ve had about whether the lights in the bedroom should be on or off. It’s just nuts!
There’ve been famous people throughout history who loved being naked and weren’t afraid to admit it. Even one of our illustrious forefathers, Benjamin Franklin, when ambassador to France, was known to take on a daily basis what he called an “air bath”. He once wrote to the French physician, Jacques Barbeu-Duborg, describing it: “I rise early almost every morning and sit in my chamber, without any clothes whatever, half an hour or an hour, according to the season, either reading or writing.” On more than one occasion over the years I’ve tested his theory and I’m here to tell you he was absolutely right. It’s just a simple fact that doing things naked is way better than doing it clothed.
Let me throw a few quotes into the mix just to make things interesting:
- “What spirit is so empty and blind, that it cannot recognize the fact that the foot is more noble than the shoe, and skin more beautiful than the garment with which it is clothed?” Michelangelo
- “I come from a country where you don’t wear clothes most of the year. Nudity is the most natural state. I was born nude and I hope to be buried nude.” Elle MacPherson
- “Government, like dress, is the badge of lost innocence.” Thomas Paine, ‘Common Sense
- “I get it, man, I do. Sleeping next to a naked woman is one of the best things about being a man, if not the best. But as a woman I don’t want to do it. I need a barrier of pajamas. When I woke up this morning naked, I just felt gross. Men sleep naked, I think, because they are sweaty human beings who perspire like a Tour de France cyclist through the night. Have you ever smelled a guys sweaty sheets?” Anonymous
I suppose that last quote embodies everything I disagree with in one paragraph. Everyone is entitled to their opinion but OMG could that opinion reflect any more inaccuracies and biases? I’m willing to stand up and say “Men are not sweatier or grosser than women .”Have you ever smelled a guys sweaty sheets?” What arrogance. Women smell the same as men and if they’re the least bit concerned with their partner’s body odor, tell them to get up and take a shower. Join them if you must and have a little fun while you’re at it. If everyone takes a bath or shower and then “stinky” is no longer an issue. You make love, roll your butt out of bed and take another shower if you must. Common courtesy is the most important thing when sharing your bed and a bit of bodily fluid whether clothed or unclothed.
GET NAKED, SLEEP NAKED, PLAY NAKED
WHO COULD AS FOR ANYTHING MORE?
11/12/2021 ***Limerick Alert*** 2 comments
“Far more precious to me than my treasure.”
JB loudly announced, “Is my leisure;
I am happy to screw
The retirement home’s crew –
“They are slow, but that lengthens the pleasure!”
11/12/2021 Who Doesn’t Love Maine? Leave a comment
I am a proud citizen of the great state of Maine. I’ve lived here now for 21 years and it’s even more interesting than you might think. As in every other state in the United States, Maine has its peculiarities. Some people may think they’re stupid and others might consider them quaint but that’s just an individual’s judgment call. The state of Maine has been around a long time and has many laws on the books that are absolutely ridiculous. Fortunately most of the ones I’m going to introduce you to now are not enforced. Thank god.
- In Maine, it’s illegal to step out of an airplane once it’s in flight.
- In Maine you will be fined if your holiday lights are left up any later than January 14.
- In Augusta, it is illegal to walk down the street playing the violin.
- In Freeport, don’t you dare “expectorate” out of any second story window.
- In Wells, Maine, you may not place an advertisement in the cemetery.
- In Maine, it is illegal to keep an armadillo as a pet.
- In Waterville, it’s illegal to blow your nose in public.
- In Portland, you better not use a feather duster to tickle under the chin of a woman.
- In Rumford, it is illegal to bite a landlord under any circumstances.
- In Portland, shoe laces must be tied when walking down the street.
- In Hollowell, it is illegal to park your horse “up wind” on a windy day.
- In South Berwick, it is illegal to park in front of Dunkin’ Donuts.
- In Waterboro, dog leashes may not be over 8 feet in length.
So much for their host of stupid laws, let’s look now at what some Mainers consider tourist attractions. Who am I to dispute these kind of crazy claims. If nothing else these tourist attractions are worth a few yucks.
- Maine experiences the first sunrise in the US, you should go to Mars Hill, Cadillac Mountain, or Lubek to properly start your day..
- Maine is the closest state to Africa.
- A giant boot outside L.L. Bean in Freeport, Maine is a size 400 (Extra Wide).
- On US Route 1, 7 miles south of the intersection with US Route 2 in Houlton, you’ll find a tree decked out with pairs of hanging shoes.
- The world’s largest Paul Bunyan statue is a roadside attraction in Bangor, Maine.
- On Peaks Island, there is an entire museum devoted to umbrella covers.
Well, I think that’s enough excitement for me for a while. You should rush right out and make reservations to come to this glorious state next summer to seek out these incredibly silly tourist attractions. Having that much fun could be hazardous to your health.
Lobsters, Lighthouses, Scenic Shorelines, and one small Amusement Park
THE WAY LIFE OUGHT TO BE
everyuselessthing.com 