Archive for the ‘black friday’ Tag
This is not one of my favorite times of the year. Summer is ending, skies are gray, rain is cold, leaves are dropping, and the runup to the end-of-year holidays has begun. A little depressing to say the least. I can deal with depression but it’s also very annoying. I thought a quick compilation of my major annoyances would be in order and here they are.
- Leave it up to the money hungry retailers to have Halloween, Thanksgiving, and Christmas merchandise already displayed. IT’S OCTOBER YOU MORONS!
- People who insist on talking over me during a conversation makes me want to scream. JUST PLAIN RUDE!
- Every Wendy’s that lists coffee on the menu and then makes me wait until they make a pot. Every time! WORST KIND OF CUSTOMER SERVICE!
- The person in front of me at the express checkout line with an entire cart load of merchandise. ASSHOLE!
- Black Friday was always annoying, but this year should be priceless. They’ve begun advertising it already. CORPORATE GREED!
- Anyone still writing checks at the register in a food store. SHEER STUPIDITY!
- Anyone who has a debit card but can’t figure out how to use it. EXASPERATING!
- People who claim to have something really important to tell me, then send a four-word text message. CALL ME!
- Any person, male or female, who is more than 30 pounds overweight and attempting to slim down by wearing skinny jeans. SO BAD!!
- People who continually bitch and complain about their food and service in a restaurant. STAY HOME!
- Twenty or more minutes of every hour for moronic ads on every conceivable type of device. JUST KILL ME NOW!
- City workers and their gigantic snowplows destroying at least one of my mailboxes every year. IGNORAMUSES!
- People who insist on telling me all about their child who is an honor student somewhere. I DON’T CARE!
- Rear window decals displaying family members and pets. LAME!
A RANT ALWAYS MAKES ME FEEL BETTER
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Now that Thanksgiving has come and gone and I’ve digested all that good food I’d like nothing better than to relax for a bit. Dream on fool, here comes Black Friday, Cyber Monday, Christmas, and New Years!
Meanwhile, here’s a quick look at our Thanksgiving table for this year. A luscious prime rib roast, asparagus, mashed potatoes, cranberry sauce, and a chilled bottle of honey mead. I have to say it was the best Thanksgiving meal we’ve had in recent memory. Hope yours was the same or even better.
Black Friday has also come and gone and fortunately for me I missed it completely. I missed all the large crowds of pissed off shoppers, the pushing, the shoving, the fighting, and the shootings that makes these holiday seasons so near and dear to my heart. There’s nothing like a little physical combat with pregnant women, kids, or anyone else for that matter who gets in the way.
It feels extra special to shove some old lady to the ground and to grab an item from her hands that you wanted more than she did. A big thanks once again to Walmart for costing a few people their lives and many others minor injuries and arrests. The almighty dollar rules absolutely in the world of Walmart with very little concern for the consequences of their actions. Nothing new, right?
‘Deck the Halls’
‘Happy Holidays’
‘God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen’
I’m not blaming all of these problems on Walmart because Target, Best Buy, and hundreds of others are just as guilty. My better-half and her daughter braved the crowds yesterday while I sat at home hoping they survived without injuries or incidents. They fortunately arrived home in one piece with more shopping war stories that I’ll be forced to listen to for another year. There are some traditions that need to go and Black Friday is one of them.
‘Absolute Lunacy’
This is the time of the year I thank God I’m claustrophobic. All the more reason to increase my on-line presence next year and never leave the freaking house.
HAPPY HOLIDAYS AND STAY OUT OF MY EFFING WAY
’A quote stolen from more than ten million shoppers.’
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The electric blanket remains at level six this morning as I lounge here and try to decide what this day will bring. The better-half works only a half day today which I fear means more Christmas shopping in my immediate future. Fortunately I recharged my Kindle and my Surface last night and feel I’m ready for almost anything.
I suspect I’ll end up sitting in front of the computer for the afternoon as I’ve been doing for most of the last week. I’m preparing and editing some of the blog postings from the last year that will be included in a blog book I’m having made. I do this each year and have collected quite the library. It does take an investment of time but I love having the ability to go back to my library to insure I’m not repeating things over and over again and boring my readers.
Once that little project is completed I can return to the sorting and indexing of my archive of photographs. I currently have almost twenty thousand pics which need reviewing. I’m determined to eliminate everything that isn’t just perfect which will take a great deal of time. Since I have most of those pictures already backed up on my personal cloud, I’ll be able to recover a great deal of hard drive space on my desktop which is badly needed. I’ll also need to stock up on more extra strength Tylenol to help me with the headaches I anticipate are to come. It doesn’t take much screen time to put a severe strain on my eyes.
With Thanksgiving just two days away I’m in no rush to accomplish much. The better-half and I can relax for a few days after enjoying our laid back holiday celebration. She’s already mentally preparing herself for Black Friday, Cyber Monday, and all of the other shopping days that have been created to allow retailers to pelt us with junk mail, TV ads, and spam. I like spending time with her but any shopping done in and around Thanksgiving is not all that enjoyable for me. I get a little claustrophobic in large crowds and prefer to avoid them whenever possible.
I’m about to spring into action but every time I try to get up the bed and that damn electric blanket keep calling me back. The coffee is starting to kick-in which will eventually force me to my feet and to get ready for the day.
ENJOY YOUR HOLIDAY
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Finally Black November, Black Friday Week, Black Friday, and Cyber Monday are over. Cyber Week will continue for three more days but OMFG. This has been the worst year I’ve ever experienced with the constant drumbeat of commercials, sales, bait and switch schemes, and alleged price drops. I’m beginning to believe that the majority of people in this country are just as stupid as I once suspected.
Working with and for retailers for years gives me an excellent perspective on things and it’s depressing as hell. Not only did retailers start earlier than ever with their push, the sales and price reductions were ridiculous. Did it ever occur to people that if they can sell most of their goods at these Black Friday prices, just how much their actual markup really is. They reduce prices by thirty percent and still seem to be making money. All that tells me is that for 51 weeks every year we are being criminally overcharged for just about everything. Does that stop the crowds from becoming near riots so they can purchase a certain doll or a certain electronic gadget? Hell no! It’s a form of insanity that brings out the absolute worst in some people as well as the constant and unrelenting pandering by the retailers. It’s maddening.
The retailers seem desperate to one-up all of their competitors to grab a little more market share. One of the commercials I can mention is the one that got me thinking along these lines. How bad does it have to be for the Kleenex company to start a competition where consumers are asked to relate an uplifting story of a personal interaction with a Kleenex tissue. Who in their right mind is going to invest their time to write a heart rendering nose-wiping story. Just unbelievable.
I harken back to the Y2K fiasco. That was the tipping point for me. I saw retailers and businesses panic millions of citizens and other businesses into spending billions of dollars for a trumped up emergency that never happened. It appears that we haven’t gotten any smarter in the intervening years.
I needed to rant a little today because this kind of idiocy makes me even crazier than usual. I see no end to it and there seems to be no concern by the buying public about how much they’re being manipulated. What more can I say? Not much that will be listened to for sure. Here’s my last word on the subject for this year so listen closely.
* * *
(Sarcasm on)
Merry Christmas – HO! HO! HO!
Santa has requested that I help him out this year by collecting funds needed for the ever increasing costs for reindeer feed, new uniforms, and elf shoes. Just have all of your friends immediately send $10.00 to me and I’ll make sure you’re all moved directly to the top of his gift giving list. The sooner you act the better because the funds are badly needed to help Santa deal with the many holiday stresses for him and his helpers, of which I am one. I’ll be able to spend a week in Tahiti for Christmas with my family so I can be ready for next years duties. All of this holiday stress has become a dangerous health issue for us and it doesn’t seem to be covered by Obamacare. Help us out, who can’t afford a $10.00 donation for such a good cause. Santa will love you forever and you just might get that special gift you’ve always wanted next year. I should also mention that we have a payment plan in effect where your ten dollar donation can be deducted monthly from your account and delivered DIRECTLY to Santa for his expenses during the off season. Get your kids involved, they love Santa too. Santa stickers are also available for just $7.00 and can be shipped directly to your home. Just add $8.00 for shipping and handling.
HAVE A HAPPY AND GENEROUS HOLIDAY SEASON
(Sarcasm off)
* * *
P.S. I only marked the last paragraph as Sarcasm due to MY fear that certain people would read it, react, and immediately rush to send me their $10.00. I’m just cynical enough to believe that could happen so please, DON’T SEND ANY MONEY.
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Well, it’s the day after Black Friday which in fact started almost a week ago and I assume by next year will almost certainly become Black November. That way they can begin their annoying Christmas push the day after Halloween. I chose this year to not leave the house on Black Friday. I try to miss it as often as I possibly can. After more than twenty-five years of working for retail corporations and being forced to work Black Friday every year, I refuse to ever do it again.
This morning my better-half hit the ground running when she arrived in the bedroom to wake me up well before I was ready. If it isn’t the cat it’s her. She was on her third cup of coffee and talking ninety miles an hour and rattling off the list of stores we’d be visiting on our planned shopping trip. There just wasn’t enough coffee in the house to get me out of that bed quickly but eventually I stumbled to the kitchen and tried to wake up.
An hour or so later we were on our way. I really wasn’t into the shopping but I made sure I drove us through areas where good photographs might be found. It was a bright and clear sunny day and I didn’t want to waste any of it. Here are a few photo’s to help you appreciate Maine a little.
We had a great day together where my better-half wandered around looking and touching everything she saw and was able to fill the car rather easily with all sorts of treasures. We’ve just arrived home and hopefully I can settle in and relax for a few hours before the nonsense starts again tomorrow. I can expect another early wakeup call and I need a little time to come up with a reason or two why I can’t be dragged shopping once again. It’s never worked before but I can only keep trying.
‘Say hello to the horses.’
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The day after any holiday can sometimes be better than the holiday itself. I feel bad for my better-half who was up and on her way at 3:30 am to her retail nightmare. Black Friday in my opinion has always been the worst day of the year. I spent way too many years working on Black Friday and dealing with complete and total idiots in extremely large numbers. She actually asked if I would make a coffee run in late morning and visit her at the store. I love ya honey but no effing way. Twenty-five years of retail adventures on this day convinced me to be a selfish ass and refuse her request.
My better-half is a shopping freak and she can’t wait to get off work to go shopping. She is the ultimate glutton for punishment. Then I’ll be forced to listen for an hour after she gets home tonight to “OMG I’m so tired”, OMG My feet hurt”, OMG People are idiots”, and on and on and on. She spent a portion of Thanksgiving Day sitting on the living room floor with her daughter going through newspaper coupons and discussing their shopping strategy. General Eisenhower spent less time preparing for D-Day.
Unfortunately the daughter’s husband of one year is about to lose his “shopping cherry”. Being officially married for one year yesterday made him the prime candidate to hit the shopping trail with the wife and new baby. Isn’t true love a bitch sometimes. I didn’t harass him much about it yesterday because we should all attempt to be nice on Thanksgiving but I could see from the look on his face he just wasn’t looking forward to any of it. Who wouldn’t prefer a football game to having to rub elbows with the “great unwashed”.
Enough of my pessimism. I’m relaxing in my man cave, watching a Steven Seagal movie, and blogging my life away. I have a good cup of coffee and a huge turkey sandwich to carry me through until dinner. The cat’s sleeping in his chair next to me and he’s happy as hell too. I can relax until sometime this evening when the shopping storm troopers arrive. I might even sneak in a power nap to prepare for their arrival.
Life can be good if you let it.
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