Archive for the ‘limerick’ Tag

10/13/2021 ***Limerick Alert***   Leave a comment

“I cannot be bothered with drawers,”

Insists one of our better-known whores;

“There isn’t much doubt

I do better without

In conducting my everyday chores.”

10/12/2021 ***Limerick Alert***   Leave a comment

My dear, you looked simply divine,

And I know that we’ll get along fine;

For making ends meet

Will be such a treat,

When one end is yours and one mine.

Posted October 12, 2021 by Every Useless Thing in Humor, Kill Me, I'm Begging You, Limericks, Sarcasm

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10/11/2021 ***Limerick Alert***   Leave a comment

There was a young man from Siam,

Who said:” I go in with a wham!

But I soon lose my starch, like the mad month of March,

And the lion comes out like a lamb.”

10/09/2021 ***Limerick Alert***   2 comments

A notorious harlot named Hearst

In the pleasures of men is well-versed;

Reads the sign at the head

Of her well-rumpled bed:

“The customer always comes first”.

10/07/2021 ***Limerick Alert***   2 comments

A young girl named Alice, in Dallas,

Had never enjoyed a fine phallus;

She was virgo intacto,

Because, ipso facto,

No phallus in Dallas fit Alice.

10/03/2021 ***Limerick Alert***   Leave a comment

There once was a old tart, from Kilkenny,
Whose usual charge was a penny;
For half of that sum,
You might fondle her bum,
A source of amusement to many!

10/01/2021 ***Limerick Alert***   2 comments

There was a young lady from Norway
Who hung by her toes in a doorway;
She said to her beau:
"Just look at me, Joe,
"I think I've discovered one more way!"

09/28/2021 ***Limerick Alert***   2 comments

There was a young lady of Maine,
Who declared she'd a man on the brain.
But you knew from the view
Of her waist as it grew,
It was not on her brain he had lain.

09/26/2021 ***Limerick Alert***   Leave a comment

Oh, daddy, may I marry soon?
I love him. I'm over the moon!
What? Could I delay
Till April, or May?
But you'll be a granddad by June!

Posted September 26, 2021 by Every Useless Thing in Humor, Limericks, Sarcasm, Useless Crap

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07/27/2021  Post Pandemic Courtesy   Leave a comment

Being the cynical bastard that I am and having less love for our human race than most, makes this topic concern even me.  Most of my life and career has been involved with close personal communications (interviews and interrogations) with hosts of diverse individuals. I’ve been able thanks to years of training and experience to read them exceeding well, hence my overall dislike of so many. Granted a majority of people come across in a good way but once pressures and stresses are introduced to the mix, all of the negative reactions become easily recognizable.  My educated guess is that the best people are those with a much stronger control of their basic instincts.  I can’t blame the negatives on emotion alone because we all deal with them equally. 

The Pandemic has brought us all to the emotional edge in a number of ways through intense worry and fear. It’s interesting in the extreme to recognize both the good and the bad effects and who handles them the best.  I won’t even try to explain the negative behaviors of people whose lives are completely consumed by politics and the media.  They come to this discussion already biased and flawed.  Then we have the medical professionals and first responders who as they always do show us the way things should be done.  Compassion, caring, and fearlessness are their norm.  A few bad apples have been observed through this horrible period but overall we as a people owe them praise and thanks. Fortunately the negative and selfish people with concerns only for their personal agendas are easily and quickly identified. I’m not here to name names but you already know who they are if your paying the least bit of attention.

I fear that the pressure of death, serious financial ruin, job loss, and long periods of isolation have begun to take their toll on all of us.  I’ve noticed in recent weeks the edginess of ordinary citizens doing ordinary things and showing a total loss of patience for each other in a mean and nasty way. All that tells me is that the Pandemic is having a much deeper and long-term harmful effect than I first thought.  Returning to the new normal still requires a huge change for all of us from the old normal. We humans are not big fans of change, large or small.  This intolerance for each other will hopefully wan as time goes on but who knows for sure. We’ve been told for more than a year now to stay the hell away from each other or else. Some of the incidents I’ve observed lately fill me with doubt that there is a short term solution. We must all wait and see and then do what we can to help remedy this confusing situation.

As always I will remain the pragmatic cynic.

That being said its now time for a little humor. Anyone who follows this blog knows of my deep appreciation for really erotic limericks. I’ve delved into my archives and found this little ditty. Enjoy!

There’s a feckless young fellow named Goody

Who insists that he wouldn’t, but would he?

If he finds himself nude,

With girls in the right mood,

The question is not would he, but could he?

Surprise…it wasn’t quite as erotic or lewd as you were expecting. Next time it’ll be a doozy.