Archive for the ‘nostalgic’ Tag
I’m on a break right now. Not that you really care but it’s just a break from another project I’m working on. My eyes were strained beyond belief from three hours staring at that project, so I decided to lighten things up with a little humor and jokes from the 1980’s. It seems that the decade of the 80’s easily supplies silliness and nonsense to last me for many years. Let’s get started.
- How did you get to see the official bird of New York City. Cut somebody off in traffic.
- Is it wrong to have sex before you’re married? Only if it makes you late for the ceremony!
- When should you stop masturbating? When the smoke alarm goes off!
- Why don’t girls like to drink beer on the beach? Because they get sand in their Schlitz!
- What did the one lesbian say to the other lesbian? “Your face or mine!”
- What you get when you cross an anteater with a vibrator? And armadildo!
- What’s the hardest thing about the sex change from a man to a woman? Inserting the anchovies!
- What happens to boys that lie? They get girls!
- How do women get minks? The same way that minks get minks!
- If you have VD, what do you know for sure? Urine trouble!
WELCOME TO THE 21ST CENTURY
A few days ago, I was digging around in the garage and going through some old boxes of what I thought were useless items. I came upon a book that was printed in 1985 which contained a host of one-liner raunchy jokes along with a few truly stupid riddles. Since a few of my family members continue to mumble and grumble about some of the so-called tasteless limericks I post, let’s see what they think about a few of these “oldies but goodies”.
- What happens if a guaranteed condom breaks? The guarantee runs out!
- How do dogs make love? Everybody nose!
- Why did they name the new feminine hygiene spray ” S.S.Y.”? Because it takes the “PU” out of pussy!
- Why did Donald Duck divorce Daisy? Her quack was too big!
- What’s better than watching a girl wrestle? Seeing her box!
- What’s a French chastity belt? A catcher’s mask!
- Who’s the world’s greatest athlete? A guy who finishes first and third in a masturbation contest!
- What’s the definition of a lady? Someone who doesn’t smoke, doesn’t drink, and only curses when it slips out!
- Why did the Greek take his wife on his business trip? Because he couldn’t leave her behind alone!
- What’s the difference between a counterfeit dollar bill and a skinny girl? A counterfeit dollar bill is a phony buck!
Well, there you have ten of some of the worst jokes I’ve ever heard. Everybody’s always saying how much they loved the “good old days”, but not me. I think it’s time to take this book and put it back in the box in the garage and hopefully in ten more years maybe it will be funny, but I doubt it.
1981 Bumper Sticker
DID JOHN SMITH POCAHONTAS?
everyuselessthing.com 