Here we go again with another rainy and gray day. Spring really wants to make an appearance but for some reason she’s having difficulties. The sun shines brightly for 2 hours a day broken up into 15-minute segments. The problem then becomes when you have a “freezing your ass off” moment every time a cloud goes by. Truthfully Mother Nature is really starting to piss me off.

Now let me get back to the subject. A few months ago, I purchased a pile of old used books which appear to have once been library books. I have books from libraries all over the country. One in particular is a book of limericks (mostly clean) written by some well-known authors and celebrities. See what you think.

By: Lewis Carroll

His sister named Lucy O’Finner,

Grew constantly thinner and thinner,

The reason was plain,

She slipped out in the rain,

And was never allowed any dinner.

💥💥

By: Ogden Nash

It was an old man of Calcutta,

Who coated his tonsils with butta,

Thus, converting his snore

From a thunderous roar

To a soft, oleaginous mutta.

By: Oliver Wendell Holmes

The Reverend Henry Ward Beecher

Called a hen a most elegant creature.

The Hen, pleased with that,

Laid an egg in his hat,

And thus did the hen reward Beecher.

💥💥

By: Rudyard Kipling

There was once a small boy in Québec

Stood buried in snow to his neck.

When asked: “Are you friz?”

He said: “Yes, I is,

“But we don’t call this cold in Québec.”

💥💥💥

As you can imagine I read hundreds of limericks a month but even I was taken by surprise when I read these four. Just goes to show you that even celebrated writers and authors have a real bitch of a time writing limericks. I’m sure that if of you took a few minutes, you could write better stuff than this. Only one of these four showed me something interesting and that was the one by Oliver Wendall Holmes. Read it carefully and see if you spot his clever efforts.

LIMERICK WRITERS RULE!