Archive for the ‘phyllis diller’ Tag

06/16/2026 ❤️LOVE & MARRIAGE❤️   Leave a comment

Today I’d like to talk about marriage. It always seems like a topic that everyone has an opinion on and so do I. As far as I can see there are no real experts on marriage. If there were they couldn’t possibly explain why a little more than fifty percent of all marriages fail miserably. I have the right to speak on this subject because I’ve been married twice and divorced twice. I married for sex initially (bad move) and then married for love (or so I thought), (another bad move). Do I have solutions for this trend – I do not. As best I can determine getting married is much like going to Las Vegas and losing everything you own and then complaining about Las Vegas for ruining your life. I’m currently unmarried and my better-half and I have been together for almost thirty years. That just tells me when it’s the right person, life can be good.

Todays post will cite a number of well known celebs on their thoughts on marriage. This should convince you that they have no clue either. Here we go . . .

  • “Bigamy is having one wife too many. Monogamy is the same.” Oscar Wilde
  • “The most happy marriage I can imagine to myself would be the union of a deaf man to a blind woman.” S.T. Coleridge
  • “Marriage is popular because it combines the maximum of temptation with the maximum of opportunity.” George Bernard Shaw
  • “If variety is the spice of life, marriage is the big can of leftover Spam.” Johnny Carson
  • “If you are afraid of loneliness, don’t marry.” Anton Chekhov

  • “Never go to bed angry. Stay up and fight.” Phyllis Diller
  • “I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.” Groucho Marx
  • “I don’t worry about terrorism. I was married for two years.” Sam Kenison
  • “It’s true that I did get the girl, but then my grandfather always said, “Even a blind chicken finds a few grains of corn now and then”. Lyle Lovett – after marrying Julia Roberts
  • “Marriage is like putting your hand into a bag of snakes in the hope of pulling out an eel.” Leonardo da Vinci

My Fav

Marriage is like a bank account. You put it in, you take it out, then you lose interest.” Irwin Corey

💑

I DID IT ONCE, THEN I DID IT AGAIN, SHAME ON ME

07/27/2024 “THE BEST MEDICINE”   Leave a comment

*****

I love people with a well-developed sense of humor, and I enjoy making people laugh. Since I now have a stand-up comic in the family, I pay even more than usual attention to on-line comics and what’s currently the rage. I have a number of comedians that I’ve been addicted to for years but unfortunately a few have passed on, but their comedy is alive and well and still makes me howl with laughter. I truly miss Sam Kinison and Ralphie May. Current comics Bill Burr, Brad Upton, and of course Sara Tiani are some of my USA favorites. Great Britain offers up Bob Mortimer, Jimmy Carr, Sarah Milliken, and Greg Davies, who are always laugh-out-loud funny. Yes, I love comedy so why wouldn’t I search out some humorous quotes from a few well-known stars.

“Ooooo. Ahhhhh. Get out!” Andrew Dice Clays impression of a one-night stand.

“My wife gives good headache.” Rodney Dangerfield

“Losing my virginity was a career move.” Madonna

“Sex after ninety is like shooting pool with a rope.” George Burns

“The main result of feminism has been the Dutch Treat.” Nora Ephron

“My plastic surgeon told me my face looked like a bouquet of elbows.” Phyllis Diller

*****

ANONYMOUS (Always LOL)

“Churches welcome all denominations but prefer fives and tens.”

“An optimist is someone who thinks the future is uncertain.”

“Truth is the safest lie.”

“When confronted with two evils, a man will always choose the prettier.”

“Is sex better than drugs? That depends on the pusher.”

“Love is blind, and marriage is a real eye-opener.”

*****

KEEP SMILING!