Archive for the ‘RETRO LIMERICKS’ Tag

07/29/2025 💥RETRO LIMERICK ALERT💥   Leave a comment

It’s another gray and rainy day here in Maine which always gives me a terrible case of the blahs. So, this is the perfect day for me to return to my easel and complete some art projects that I’ve had going on for some weeks now. I can just relax and get into “the zone” while working on these projects which helps me forget what a really crappy day it is. With that thought in mind, I dug into my archives of old limericks for a selection dated in the late 1960’s and early 1970’s. Maybe one or more of them will make you smile a bit, who knows? For the most part they are rated PG.

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A virgin emerged from her bath
In a state of righteous wrath,
For she had been deflowered
When she bent as she showered,
And the handle was right in the path.

💥💥

A born again Christian named Claire
Was having her first love affair.
As she climbed into bed
She reverently said,
“I wish to be opened with prayer.”

💥💥💥

A penny-less colleague named Cy,
Remark to a lass passing by,
“I’ve never adjusted
To being flat busted.”
Said she, with a sigh, “Nor have I.”

💥💥💥💥

There was a young fellow named Dice
Who remarked, ‘They say bigamy’s nice.
Even two is a bore
I prefer three or four,
For the plural of spouse, it is spice.”

One of my Fav’s.

An organic chemist soon found,

While pushing aminos around,

He’d no sense of smell,

And couldn’t quite tell

His acids from holes in the ground.

🤪🤪🤪

07/03/2025 💥💥RETRO LIMERICKS💥💥   1 comment

Limericks are the best. I’ve been reading them for years and writing a great many of my own. My limerick archives go all the way back to 1879. I did discover that posting some of those really old ones requires a bit of a rewrite. Some of the profanities back then were just gratuitous and actually detracted from the overall entertainment value. I may have softened the language a little but they’re still a fun read. Todays selections are related specifically to younger women. Don’t complain to me about the content, the people who wrote these have been dead a very long time.

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A bather whose clothing was strewed

By winds that left her quite nude,

Saw a man come along,

And unless we are wrong

You expected this line to be lewd. (1944)

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A lady athletic and handsome

Got wedged in her sleeping room transom.

When she offered much gold

For release, she was told

That the view was worth more than the ransom. (1944)

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There was a young maid from Madras

Who had a magnificent ass;

Not rounded and pink,

As you’d probably think,

It was gray, had long ears, and ate grass. (1940)

💞💞💞

I’m tempted to post a few of my own limericks but unfortunately they’re very rude and sexual explicit. I may rewrite them someday but not today. Instead I offer up a rather lame poem of mine written about my first sexual experience, to show all of you what a freaking romantic I’m not. LOL

💖PUPPY LOVE💖

First love is a thrill you never forget,

It sends a warmth through your heart.

Sixty years later the memory remains,

but the feelings have fallen apart.

How to recall those wonderful days,

when the freshness of things made you wish,

For the love a girl with beautiful hair,

in a field, all alone…

Do you smell fish?

😍😍😍

EAT YOUR HEART OUT WALT WHITEMAN

02/17/2024 💥💥WW II Limerick Alert💥💥   Leave a comment

A few weeks ago, I posted a number of limericks written in the World War II era. Your response was much better than I anticipated so I thought I’d dig up a few more from that same era to make you laugh and smile all these years later.

A WAVE who had duty at sea,

Complained that it hurt her to pee.

Said the Chief Bosun’s mate,

“That accounts for the fate

Of the cook and the captain and me.”

In the Army and Navy, the toast is

To the talented USO hostess

Who was diddled and screwed

While she tried to conclude

Which service she really liked mostest.

A female Nazi from Bredo

Advances her sinister credo,

By displaying her charms

During air raid alarms,

Inflaming the warden’s libido.

An oversexed G.I. in France

Decided to take just a chance,

But the fairest of foxholes

In Paris are pox holes,

And now he’s got France in his pants.

💥💥💥

WAR IS TRULY HELL

10/13/2022 “More Retro Limericks”   Leave a comment

I love reading limericks written in a totally different time and place. Today’s selection is from the war years in England. Even with all of the violence and mayhem going on they took time to maintain a sense of humor. Thank god for sex and it’s related activities, it’s all they had.

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1941

There was a young lady named Nelly

Whose tits could be joggled like jelly.

They could tickle her twat,

Or be tied in a knot,

And they could even swat flies on her belly.

****

1943

There was a young man from Narragansett

Who colored his prick to enhance it.

But the girls were afraid

That ere they get laid

T’would lose all its color in transit

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1945

A detective named Ellery Queen

Has olfactory powers so keen,

He can tell in a flash

By the scent of a gash

Who its previous tenant had been.

****

1941

19There was a young girl named Regina

Who called in a water diviner,

To play a slick trick

With his prick as a stick,

To help her locate her vagina.

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KEEPING WAR TIME MORALE AS HIGH AS POSSIBLE