Archive for the ‘spring’ Tag
Is it just me or is the media using the term “genius” way too often. It seems that if your successful at anything you’re a genius until the novelty wears off and then your back to being a regular schmuck like everyone else. Real geniuses are a rarity, and they bring their own baggage along with them. They are usually a genius in a specific area but in other areas not so much. I went to college with a guy who could pick up a #2 pencil and in mere minutes, completely copy works by Michaelangelo. It was effortless and left many of us absolutely amazed. What most people didn’t know was that he was something of a recluse. He hated groups of people and was barely able to attend classes. Many times, he would complete wonderful projects at his apartment and then contact his fellow students to deliver them to the teacher. He was unable to speak before groups of more than 2 or 3 without panicking. Was he a genius? Yes! Was he happy? I don’t honestly know.
I decided to checkout a few well know geniuses to get a better feel about how they handled their gift. Here are a few facts.
- The eccentric English chemist and physicist Henry Cavendish (1731-1810) had no appropriate instruments for that purpose, so he measured the strength of an electrical current in a direct way. He shocked himself with the electrical current and estimated the pain. He still managed to live to be nearly 80 years old.
- The first person to work out the manner in which a telescope handled light according to strict scientific principles was the German astronomer Johann Kepler. His eyesight was so bad, however, that it was useless for him to try to use a telescope himself.
- Thomas Edison, who bordered on being totally deaf, do not think of the phonograph in terms of music and entertainment. He was interested in the business and educational potential of the invention.
- Henry Ford in 1921 proposed that milk be made synthetically. His disregard for dairy cows as being inefficient and unsanitary stemmed from unpleasant experiences on his father’s farm. Milking had been an exasperating and disagreeable labor.
- Charles Dickens believed that a good night’s sleep was possible only if the bed was aligned from north to south. In this manner, he thought, the magnetic currents of the earth would flow straight through the resting body.
- Geniuses require powers of concentration. But even that can be carried too far. In 1807, the mathematician Johann Karl Frederich Gaus was caught up in a problem while his wife lay sick upstairs. When the doctor told him his wife was dying, Gaus waved him away and never looking up from his problem, muttered, “Tell her to wait a moment till I’m through.”
- Louis Pasteur, whose work on wine, vinegar, and beer led to pasteurization, had an excessive fear of dirt and infection. He refused to shake hands, and he carefully whipped his plate and glass before dining.
- Sigmund Freud never learned to read a railway timetable. It was necessary that he be accompanied on any journey.
BEING A GENIUS IS NO BARGIN
Now that we’re a few days into the month of March I began getting those terrible Spring Fever feelings. I know it’s wishful thinking this early but I’m sick and tired of this cold weather and snow and power outages and all of the other benefits of living in Maine. Let me brighten up your day a little with a few jokes that might just make you smile and forget it still effing March.
- Two prim and proper southern rural sisters, Georgia and Loreen, were sitting on the porch in rocking chairs discussing Loreen’s recent trip to New York City. Loreen says, “Sister, did you know that in New York City there are women who kiss other women on the lips?” Georgette gasps and exclaims, “Oh, sister! What do they call them?” “They call them lesbians,” Loreen replies. “And, sister, did you know that in New York City there are men who kiss other men on the lips?” “Oh, sister,” says Georgia, fanning herself in a startled frenzy. “What do they call them?” “They call them gay, “Loreen says. “And, sister, did you know that in New York City there are men who kiss women on their private parts?” To this, Georgia’s face turns bright red, and she nearly falls out of her chair as she explains,”Ohhhhh, sister! What do they call them?” Loreen smiles a secretive smile and proudly announces, “Well, I don’t know but when he looked up, I called him Precious!”
- Little Johnny is taking a shower with his mother and says, “What are those things on your chest?” Unsure of how to reply she tells Johnny to ask his dad at breakfast tomorrow, quite certain the matter will be forgotten. Johnny didn’t forget. The following morning, he asked his father the same question. His father, always quick with the answers, says, “Why, Johnny, those are balloons. When your mommy dies, we can blow them up and she’ll float away to heaven.” Johnny thinks that’s neat and asks no further questions. A few weeks later, Johnny’s dad comes home from work a few hours early. Johnny runs out of the house crying hysterically, “Daddy! Daddy! Mommy is dying!” “Uncle Harry is blowing up mommy’s balloons and she’s screaming, Oh God, I’m coming!”
- Mr. Smith owned a small business. He had two employees, Sarah and Jack. They were both extremely good employees, always willing to work overtime and chip in where needed. Mr. Smith was looking over his books one day and decided that he wasn’t making enough money to warrant two employees and he would have to lay someone off. But both Sarah and Jack were such good workers he was having trouble finding a fair way to do it. After much thought, he eventually decided he would watch them work and the first one to take a break would be the one he would lay off. So, he sat in his office and watched them work. Suddenly, Sarah got a terrible headache and needed to take an aspirin. She got the aspirin out of her purse and went to the water cooler to get something to wash it down. Mr. Smith followed her to the water cooler, placed his hand on here shoulder and said, “Sarah, I’m going to have to lay you, or Jack, off.” Sarah said, “You’ll just have to jackoff – I have a terrible headache!”
297 SHOPPING DAYS UNTIL CHRISTMAS
That should wipe that smile off your face.
I’m a huge fan of baseball primarily because I played it for so many years. It’s the best! However, I will continue to poke the baseball bear in the eye whenever possible. The game is sacred to me, but the individual players are not. So, let’s have a little fun today.
“Any pitcher who throws at a batter and deliberately tries to hit him is a Communist.” Alvin Dark, New York Giants Infielder
“Even Napoleon had his Watergate.” Danny Ozark, Philadelphia Phillies manager
“Folks, this is perfect weather for today’s game. Not a breath of air.” Curt Gowdy, sports commentator
“All I said was that the trades were stupid and dumb, and they took that and blew it all out of proportion.” Ron Davis, Minnesota Twins pitcher
“I am throwing twice as hard as I ever did. It’s just not getting there as fast.” Lefty Gomez, New York Yankee pitcher
“I prefer fast foods.” Infielder Rocky Bridges, when asked why he wouldn’t eat snails
“I dunno. I never smoked any Astroturf.” Tug McGraw, National League pitcher, when asked whether he preferred grass or Astroturf
“Raise the urinals.” Darrel Chaney, Atlanta Braves infielder, on how to keep the Braves on their toes
“Sometimes they write what I say and not what I mean.” Pedro Guerrero, National League player
“I lost it in the sun.” Billy Loes, Brooklyn Dodger pitcher after fumbling a grounder
PLAY BALL!
After the last eighteen months of my illness there are many things that I’ve really missed. The Pandemic being the least of them. With all of the various surgeries, cancer, and chemotherapy dominating my every thought I’ve come to appreciate a long list of many little things that I took for granted for most of my life. The adage “Stop and Smell the Roses” suddenly means something. I’m glad I still have time left to really appreciate each and every one of them.
Spending an hour or two totally lost in a painting.
Spending time over the last few years watching two grandsons becoming thinking and intelligent little men.
Realizing after all these years just how precious these days have come to mean to me while sitting on the deck with my better-half enjoying the first sunshine of Spring.
Relaxing and sipping a Jack and Coke that I’m finally able to have now that my newly rebuilt liver permits it.
Being able to bitch and complain about anything that irks me and not giving a good damn about what people think.
Enjoying all of the freedoms that come with old age that you can’t really appreciate until you get here.
You can thank my better-half and three glasses of Jack and Coke for this posting. Maybe it will give those of you approaching the AARP age of fifty that it’s not quite as bad as you might think. When you’re given lemons make lemonade but make sure you have some Jack Daniels in it.
I think it’s time for more trivia. I’m actually getting tired of talking about gardens and gardening. I need a break and I’m sure you do as well. They’ll be a lot more of that information coming your way this summer so there’s no need for more today.
These factoids will cover a number of categories but I’m sure you’ll find as interesting as I did. Let’s get started.
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Half of British women own more than thirty pairs of shoes.
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In the US, half of children ages 4-6 have played video games, and a 25% say thy do so regularly.
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The most expensive age of your life is thirty-four.
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Ten percent of people are left-handed and twenty percent are left-footed.
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In the US, the lifetime cost to parents for rearing one middle class child is $1.43 million.
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In any conversation lasting ten minutes or longer, 20% of adults will lie.
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There are a half million semiautomatic machine guns in Swiss homes.
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Women are estimated to buy 80% of everything that is sold.
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By late 2006, only 35% of Americans had sent a text message, compared to almost 100% of Brits.
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Women in almost every culture speak in deeper voices than Japanese women. American women’s voices are lower than Japanese, Swedish women’s lower than American, and Dutch women women’s lower than Swedish.
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One third of all houses in Ireland were built in the last two decades.
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The average American two-car garage is 25% bigger than the average Tokyo home.
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In 2007 YouTube consumed as much bandwidth as the entire Internet did in 2000.
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Spammers typically need to send one million emails to get just fifteen positive responses.
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The total computing power of NASA at the time of the Sputnik launch in 1957 was far less than that available in a typical smart phone in use today.
I guess that will do it for today. I never stop searching for this kind of off-the-wall information and you can be sure more facts will keep coming your way on a regular basis in the future.
GET OUTSIDE AND ENJOY YOUR DAY
Now that the weather has taken a warmer turn I can really start enjoying my Spring and Summer. I love digging in the dirt but even that gets a little old after a few weeks. We been having warm nights and even warmer days and the plants in the garden are really taking off. I’m even amazed at how fast the plants seem to grow here in Maine at this time of the year. I think the plants know they can’t waste any time in this short Maine growing season.
Here are a few photos I took over the last couple of days at plants that were only inches tall ten days ago. Granted I planted seedlings and not just seeds but even with that being said the amount of growth has been amazing.
‘These chives began blooming in May.’
Look at this oregano plant. Ten days ago it was an inch high and now it’s growing out of control. I’ll have more oregano than I’ll know what to do with when I’m ready to make my first batch of pasta sauce.
I’m also seeing some really healthy growth with the pepper plants. I planted more hot peppers this year than ever before and from the initial start it looks like it’s going to be a great summer for them. Currently I have seven types of hot peppers planted. There are Jalapeños, Ghost’s, Cayenne’s, Serrano’s, Kung Pow’s, Anaheim’s, and even a few Thai chilies. I certainly look forward to using a mixture of those peppers in the preparation of my chili and a few batches of salsa later in the summer. To be sure they’ll be plenty of heat to go around.
This rhubarb plant broke through the ground in mid-May and it’s now over five feet high and going strong. More rhubarb jam and pies are in my immediate future.
The last one I can show you may be the biggest hit of the year for the neighborhood. This catnip plant barely survived the winter but in three weeks it’s grown to be almost two and half feet tall. The neighborhood cats haven’t discovered it yet but OMG when they do the fun will really begin.
If all of these plants keep growing at this rate it will a gardening year to remember. Lots of sunshine, water, and TLC make all of the difference. Now back to the deck for a delicious hot pepper margarita, chips, and salsa.
LIFE IS GOOD
‘Honey, I think we missed the turn to Home Goods.’
Well, it’s the first of June and I suppose this could be considered my first real Summer day. Unfortunately for me it’s not starting very well. Last night I was advised by my better-half that we’d be spending her day-off on another of her infamous shopping safaris. Those shopping trips are bearable in the winter when you just want to get out of the house but not so much in Summer when it’s sunny and warm and you can hear the beach calling your name.
I can’t believe in all honesty that I’ll enjoy a day of driving from store to store and waiting in the car. Most of the stores she visits hold no interest for me and I’m truly honored to be permitted to sit in her car and wait for her. I feel a lot like the natives on many of the early Tarzan movies. The great white hunter is strolling along carrying his rifle and a flask of brandy. I’m the last guy in line carrying the 300 pound backpack and silently cursing under my breath.
She packs a purse and a credit card while I usually bring my favorite safari equipment. It consists of my cell phone so I can call for help if necessary, my Kindle to keep me from screaming out of boredom, and this IPad so I can write my posts for the blog about how used and abused I feel.
This is is some sort of weird ass-backward payback for my taking her out to dinner last night. We visited a restaurant called Running of the Mill. It’s a nineteenth century textile mill that has been slowly converted into hundreds of condos, a restaurant, business offices, and an interior mall which is still in the planning stages. It’s directly adjacent to the Saco River and the nearby harbor. It’s very nice.
We had our meal on the terrace and enjoyed the sunshine and the warm breeze. The better-half ordered a slab of haddock as long as her arm and I enjoyed a huge club sandwich and fries.
It was a really relaxing evening and we thoroughly enjoyed the food and the atmosphere. Why she’s paying me back with this shopping foray today is beyond me. She probably thinks she’s doing a favor.
Right now I’m sitting in a Lowe’s parking lot while she spends an hour doing work schedules for her employees. Little does she know that in mere moments I’ll be reclining this seat back and catching a well deserved nap.
AT LEAST SHE LEFT THE WINDOW CRACKED
I found myself awake much too early this morning for some unknown reason. I usually like to get moving around 7am but this morning I was awake at 4:45am and wondering why. Yesterday was a nothing-special day and I had no pressing personal issues preying on my mind . . . so why? I’ll probably never know but it sure is irritating.
Yesterday was a rainy and overcast day which kept me indoors most of the day. I decided to get back to my home brewing tasks and to bottle my batch of Sake that’s been needing my attention for more than a week.
I checked the bottles to be sure that fermentation had truly stopped. Once many years ago I bottled a batch of wine a little too early and was awakened in the middle of the night by exploding bottles. I can’t have that happen again . . . what a mess! Wine making isn’t as complicated as most people think but it does require a reasonable amount of common sense. The minute you forget that fact you’re in trouble. I began the siphoning process which takes no time at all and everything went smoothly.
I decided against using the standard wine corks with this batch. These screw caps work just as well and require much less work for me. It also makes reusing the bottles much easier and I won’t need to exhaust my limited supply of good wine corks.
I was pleased with the overall look and clarity of the Sake and was able to fill twelve half bottles and seven additional full size bottles. More than enough to last me for quite some time.
I was also able to save and store a pint and one half of the Sake yeast which will allow me to make numerous batches in the future and save me money at the same time. It’s all about the yeast!
After the bottling was completed the better-half cooked up a delicious chicken and veggie stir-fry dinner. I cracked open our first bottle of the Sake, warmed it properly, and we toasted the great meal and the Memorial Day holiday.
HAPPY MEMORIAL DAY
THANK A VET FOR THEIR SERVICE
SHOW THE FLAG
(And maybe drink some Sake too.)
Now that the garden has been planted I have extra time on my hands for other things. I noticed a few days ago that we seem to be running out of our homemade salsa. We both love salsa so much and eat on average a quart every two weeks or so. My better-half insists on putting it on and in everything she eats so running out is not an option. I’ve had a newly developed recipe that I’ve been waiting to make and this is the week to do it. This recipe is called ‘Six Pepper Bean Salsa’.
It even sounds hot and trust me it really is. I’ve gathered together jalapeños, habaneros, Serrano’s, Thai chili, black pepper, and finally Ghost peppers. Add black beans and chili beans and a host of other ingredients and there you have it. I even managed to harvest some early chives from my garden as well. During the summer months we always try to have at least one item from the garden in every meal. So let’s get started.
‘Slice & Dice with rubber gloves.’
I usually wear very think rubber gloves when messing with hot peppers. I tried the normal latex gloves but they weren’t getting the job done. Thick rubber from then on assures me of no more burning body parts. Then I gather the necessary jars, lids, and pots and boil them thoroughly.
Everything must be boiled to keep things as sanitary as possible. That’ll keep contaminated jars from becoming a problem later on. Next I begin the cooking process and the adding of a little heat.
‘Dried habanero and chili peppers.’
Finally the salsa is ready for canning. I know canning seems complicated but it really isn’t. The process is simple and easily managed. The more often you do it the easier it becomes.
And here’s the finished product. Thirteen quarts of really delicious salsa that is also hot enough to get anyone’s attention.
EASY PEASY
As summer looms in my future I’ve been attempting to close out some existing projects to make room for what’s to come. My infusion of hot peppers in tequila has finally ended with the hot peppers almost bleached white as you can see. I took a small sample and gave it a taste test and was very very hot. I can’t wait to give it a try in a my first attempt at a Hot Pepper Margarita. I think it will be fine for me and my better-half but I doubt if most people will be able to handle the heat. We’ll see very soon.
‘The Tequila sucks the color and heat from them.’
My second project has been the Sake that’s almost ready for bottling. Within the next few days I’ll begin the bottling process and finally be done with it. It’s taken a little longer than usual due to it’s refusal to clear. It’s looking good now and it also has passed my first taste test.
‘Nice and clear.’
Today I’ll be making my second visit to the Saco Police Department. I’m trying to renew my permit allowing me to carry a concealed weapon for another four years. I’ve held permits in multiple states in the past but I have to say the state of Maine isn’t quite as difficult as some others. My reapplication was only ten pages long and in comparison to some states it’s rather short. I’ve finished the forms, obtained a new and handsome picture of myself, and a check to the city, of course, for $20.00. By far the cheapest fee I’ve ever paid for this constitutional privilege.
CAN’T LET THE BUREAUCRATIC MINUTIA GET ME DOWN
everyuselessthing.com 