Archive for the ‘Bitch & Complain’ Category
It’s raining like hell this morning so I decided to spend this time in bed enjoying the sounds and smells of the day. I like walking in the rain almost as much as I enjoy listening to it but not today. Today is going to be a computer day for me because I have a number of things that need to be accomplished.
In my last posting I made an attempt to create some discussion with my list of ten questions. While a good number of people visited and read the posting the response to my request for their answers apparently fell on deaf ears. Not one single response was disappointing as hell but not totally unexpected. At least I tried to wake up a few brain cells out there and just so you know, I will try again.
Today is the day I begin learning how to use the new software package I recently purchased. Adobe Photoshop Elements 12 & Adobe Premiere Elements 12 has been purchased and installed and await my full attention for the next six hours or so. I’m also awaiting the arrival from Amazon of a 400 page User’s Manual I was forced to buy because those cheap bastards at Adobe don’t feel that including a Users Manual is cost effective. Both of the programs are massive and without a manual you might never ever know all of the bells and whistles they contains. I’m praying that the manual arrives today or tomorrow so I can spend the next few days experimenting with the software. I need to get up to speed as quickly as possible because I have projects that will be much easier to complete once I’ve gotten a little hands-on experience.
This week another of my goals is to begin preparations for my first canning class of 2014. A number of my better-half’s friends are interested in learning how the process works so they can eventually can their own pickles. With so many requests I decided to do a class that would take care of them all at once. I’m just a week or so away from canning my first batch of pickles this year so I’ve invited a group of them to get together, watch me do a batch, take appropriate notes, and return home to attempt to do some of their own. I’ve tried to convince them that canning is a simple process but they appear very skeptical. I also make myself available 24/7 for emergency telephone calls when the occasional mishap arises. I’ve done a few one-on-ones in the past which were very successful so this should be a breeze.
I’ve been cleaning and preparing jars for a few weeks because it’s going to get very busy very quickly and I need to keep ahead of things. I’m estimating we’ll be canning 40-60 pints of hot Bread & Butter pickles, 20 pints of hot Mustard Dills, and 15-20 pints of hot Kosher Dills. Add in another 30-50 half pints of assorted jellies, jams, and relishes and you can see that we’ll be canning our asses off for six weeks or so. If I do say so myself, we make some damn good pickles, a truly excellent variety of jams, and the relishes can speak for themselves. Many of the folks who request our pickles return the jars for a refill and as you can see I have them everywhere.
Fun, fun, and more fun.
Every once in a while I find something that catches my eye. This photograph is of a entry gate that leads to an old and extremely run down house located next door to nowhere important. I saw it a few months ago as we were driving around looking for anything interesting. I didn’t stop for the shot then but I did a few days ago when we happened upon it once again. I found it simple and fascinating.
It’s been an interesting few days. Shortly after posting earlier in the week I came down with a truly nasty 24 hour stomach virus. I won’t get into the stinky and smelly details but that virus targeted areas of my body that shouldn’t be messed with. All of my activities ceased immediately except for staying within running distance of any bathroom facilities. I was on the mend within twenty-four hours and regained my appetite and my antagonistic attitude rather quickly.
Just when I thought things were improving my better-half said those infamous words you never want to hear, “I think I’m getting a sore throat and my stomach hurts.” It’s only this morning that she was able to get out bed and go to work. She’s one of those women who seems more macho that most men when it comes to missing work. She gets some sort of rush by being able to make it to work regardless of the circumstances. I was like that once but times for me have changed, thank God.
Since I’ve been staying close to home these last few days I thought I’d spend a little time photo documenting every type and color of flower in our gardens that we’ve been blessed with this season. I was more than a little surprised at the variety myself. Here are a few samples of some of those flowers with more to follow as they begin blooming.
Believe me when I tell you there’s no better way to spend an hour or two each week by walking through the garden and photographing everything. It’s a really tough life I have but you know someone’s gotta do it.
This has been a week of rain then sunshine then rain and on and on and on. The humidity is constantly high and sleeping is a real challenge. It certainly limits my activities to hanging around the house and driving my better-half over the edge. It must be true because she tells me that at least twice a day. What to do, what to do. My only solution is to take my camera and go forth to play in the woods. Maybe it was time for a quick check of my favorite swamps to look in on the dragonfly situation. With this much humidity and heat there should be a large increase in their numbers (I hope). It’s a reasonably short drive so I loaded up my gear and took off.
I arrived at the sanctuary, parked the car, and stepped into the world of sweat bees, gnats, and those little mites that congregate around your head by the thousands. I used half a can of the strongest bug spray I could find and it was of little help.
It’s common practice here in Maine for the horse farmers to cover the eyes of their horses with netting to keep the bugs from driving the horses crazy. If it works for horses then why can’t it work for me. I reached into my bag of goodies and found some netting made specifically to be worn over a baseball cap and then tied tightly at the neck. It’s not a perfect solution but it will keep the gnats in the swamp out of my eyes and ears. The rest of my body is up for grabs but even those damn mosquitos and ticks have to eat too. Without a doubt I’ll be their lunch entrée.
On my way to the swamp I have to pass through a few acres of milkweed plants. They’re just coming into bloom and in a few short weeks will be covered with visiting Monarch butterflies. They love laying their eggs on the milkweed plants which contain a chemical that keeps predators from eating their eggs. I’ll be back in a few weeks for their arrival which promises a gang of excellent macro photographs.
I arrived in the swamp covered with swarms of bugs and discovered to my delight a reasonable number of dragonflies flitting around. I’ve found if you stand still in one place for a few minutes they tend to approach to check you out. These pictures were of a few that seemed to be purposely posing for me.
I lasted almost an hour but the bugs made staying any longer impossible. I’ll be better prepared on my next visit and hope to obtain more photos of dragonflies and damselflies. The variety of colors is absolutely amazing.
***WILDLIFE ALERT ***
(Sarcasm On) This Wildlife Alert arrived on my desk today from my better-half and I promised her I’d put out A BOTA (Be On the Lookout) alert for a herd of those terribly dangerous and ruthless gourd eating deer. She plans on hanging some sort of crazy noise-maker in the garden to scare them off. Truthfully we’ve had deer eat almost everything in the garden at one time or another but not a single one has ever munched on a gourd. She has a strange attraction for gourds which I still don’t understand. Maybe I’ll build a blind for her to sit in near the garden and she can jump out in the middle of the night to scare the crap out of them. I promise to get lots of pictures if she actually does it. (Sarcasm Off)
Every guy loves ogling beautiful women and that includes me. It’s been that way forever and I don’t see it changing any time soon. Woman claim to dislike being stared at but do they really mean it? Victoria Secret’s success has made that claim a little less believable. I’ve had them try to tell me that they wear makeup, revealing clothing, and expensive hair styling just to look good for other women. Do you buy that? Not a chance. They want to be stared at, whistled at, and ogled just as much as the men enjoy doing it. It’s that famous “dance” that the sexes do in a age old mating ritual. If you look good then your choice of mates increases exponentially.
I must say that it’s a fine line for a woman to walk. If you get too revealing you look like a slut. Most guys looking for a serious relationship wouldn’t be drawn to the slutty woman but also wouldn’t hesitate making the occasional booty call to one after a night of drinking and increasing horniness. What most women don’t seem to get is the desire by many men for an attractive, well behaved, and friendly woman who sheds those attributes upon entering the bedroom and turns into a sex crazed slut. I know it isn’t rally fair to all of you women but unfortunately it remains true.
There’s a rule of thumb you’ve probably heard, KISS (Keep It Simple Stupid”. Over the years I’ve developed five simple and easy rules for women to help them have a modicum of success in attracting a possible long term mate.
Rule 1 – Look good but not too good. Just slutty enough to make his mouth water and to keep his fantasies percolating.
Rule 2 – Be flirty but not too dirty or off color. Just a hint of the “bad girl” is usually enough to drive most men over the edge.
Rule 3 – Drink enough but don’t get sloppy drunk. No one wants to have the woman they’re hoping to have sex with throwing up on them. Don’t laugh, it’s happened to me.
Rule 4 – Lay off that constant stream of foul language except in the bedroom. Be coy at first and then turn into that bedroom slut he’s been hoping and searching and wishing for.
Rule 5 – You may be more sexually experienced than he is but don’t show off. Save some of your better moves for later when he’ll thinks he’s the reason you’ve decided to do them.
I’ve always been partial to women who look good but not too good. I love a woman who wears her hair long because I find long hair very sexy. It’s an old Victorian fantasy of mine where you spend a great deal of time peeling off layers of clothing and after all that work she lets down her hair down and you’re good to go. Gives me the shivers just thinking about it.
“With the narrower silhouette, emphasis was placed on the bust, waist and hips. A corset was used to help mold the body to the desired shape.
“Skirts were supported by a hybrid of the bustle and crinoline or hooped petticoat sometimes called a “crinolette”. The crinolette itself was quickly superseded by the true bustle, which was sufficient for supporting the drapery and train at the back of the skirt.”
“The Victorian Version of the J-LO look.”
Well back to topic. I’ve had dealings with a few women in my life and they’ve fallen into any number of different categories. Beautiful, fugly, and all points in between. Each one was a totally different experience, some good and some really effing bad. They can try and deny their innate desire to attract men but down deep in their hearts they know its the truth. They want a good man in a good relationship with kids, a dog, and the white picket fence. After all of that they also want to be the biggest slut they can be in the bedroom and have a man who’ll appreciate it.
SURPRISE LADIES . . . THAT’S WHAT WE WANT TOO
The monsoons of Arthur have finally left this area and are on their way to Nova Scotia. Three and a half days of rain were badly needed but OMG. My nice little garden and the better-half’s flower gardens look like the jungles of Vietnam. It’s hard to believe that they can grow so quickly when doused with copious amounts of water. You’ll see with today’s photo’s that I may need a machete to get around in there.
I planted a variety of kale plants this year that a week ago were four inches high. Today they measuring almost 14 inches. I’ll be harvesting them sooner than expected and the freezer will be filled very quickly.
The herbs are out of control as well and it’s obvious I’ll be able to restock a large part of my dried herb collection and be more prepared than ever for the coming Winter.
I harvested almost three pounds of rhubarb seeds yesterday which I’m slowly drying in one of the cold frames. After a few days of direct sunlight they should be ready for storage until next Spring. I plan on planting as many as possible around the property because my goal is to have a huge patch of rhubarb within the next two years.
The better-half’s flowers are beginning to bloom everywhere. The assorted colors of these day lilies makes picture taking a real pleasure. I especially love the dark red ones.
I normally plant three zucchini plants each year and harvest probably 5 or 6 zucchini’s per plant. This year I was given a great deal on plants and ended up buying a few extra. As you can see I’ll be knee deep in zucchini in just a few weeks.
I’d like to keep posting but I’ve got three hours of weeding and general maintenance in that garden. The better-half returns tomorrow morning from her trip and I’d like to get these tasks out of the way before then.
I’m sitting here quietly writing this blog on the 4th of July as I try to do every year. I’m thinking about my late grandfather (born on the Fourth of July) and whose birthday we always celebrated along with the country’s. All too often in the past I’ve fallen into the flag waving routine as many others do. I love this country and as always I’m proud to be an American (95% of the time) even though Democrats and Liberals make 100% an unreachable goal. I can accept that because the alternative is unacceptable.
I think on this day we should all be flying the flag and celebrating our independence. As screwed up as we seem to be at times I still wouldn’t want to be living anywhere else. If you do, then your dumber than I imagined. I’ve traveled inside and outside the country enough to know the majority of our people don’t realize just how good they have it. Move to the Middle East, maybe try Africa, how about Indonesia, or even Europe. Count me out. We may have some issues here but compared to the rest of this miserable planet we’ve got it made. Period, end of discussion.
I decided to forego photographs and heart rendering monologues about the United States because they’ve become a bit trite over the years. And secondly no one really gives a damn about what I think anyway. I’d rather hear directly from our forefathers and a few others who seem to have understood things a lot better than most. Listen to them…..
-
The American Revolution was a beginning, not a consummation. ~Woodrow Wilson
-
Freedom has its life in the hearts, the actions, the spirit of men and so it must be daily earned and refreshed – else like a flower cut from its life-giving roots, it will wither and die. ~Dwight D. Eisenhower
-
In the truest sense, freedom cannot be bestowed; it must be achieved. ~Franklin D. Roosevelt
-
This, then, is the state of the union: free and restless, growing and full of hope. So it was in the beginning. So it shall always be, while God is willing, and we are strong enough to keep the faith. ~Lyndon B. Johnson
-
America is much more than a geographical fact. It is a political and moral fact – the first community in which men set out in principle to institutionalize freedom, responsible government, and human equality. ~Adlai Stevenson
-
May the sun in his course visit no land more free, more happy, more lovely, than this our own country! ~Daniel Webster
-
Where liberty dwells, there is my country. ~Benjamin Franklin
-
The winds that blow through the wide sky in these mounts, the winds that sweep from Canada to Mexico, from the Pacific to the Atlantic – have always blown on free men. ~Franklin D. Roosevelt
-
My God! How little do my countrymen know what precious blessings they are in possession of, and which no other people on earth enjoy! ~Thomas Jefferson
-
We need an America with the wisdom of experience. But we must not let America grow old in spirit. ~Hubert H. Humphrey
-
Those who deny freedom to others deserve it not for themselves. ~Abraham Lincoln
I never thought I’d see the day when Bill Clinton was quoted on this blog because I wasn’t a big fan when he was in office and for the most part I’m still not. My grandfather always told that “Even a blind man can find a pearl once in a while”. Here’s Slick Willy’s one and only pearl:
There is nothing wrong with America that cannot be cured by what is right with America. ~William J. Clinton
And finally a quote from my all time favorite quoter who frequently offers up a taste of good old American common sense:
“I prefer liberty with danger to peace with slavery.” ~Anonymous
HAPPY BIRTHDAY AMERICA & YOU TOO GRAMPS
I’ve been a lover of good Mexican food for years and after meeting my better-half (a good old down home Texas girl) and traveling to Texas on a number of occasions I was hooked. During my recent trip to Dallas I was taken to this Mexican restaurant by my nephew who assured me I would be getting authentic Mexican fish tacos. I was excited for the meal and as we arrived I could hardly wait.
True to his word the fish taco’s were to die for. We ate two huge plates of tacos, chili beans, and rice. They drizzled an outrageous jalapeño cream sauce over the tacos that was so damn good it makes me hungry just thinking about it. Four gigantic peach margaritas later and we were destroyed. We slowly and safely made our way home and sat for hours because we just couldn’t move.
They also supplied us with chips and salsa which was good but the Verde sauce was the best. It was not quite a salsa and not quite a sauce. It also wasn’t quite hot enough for me so I decided upon my return to Maine to create a version of my own.
My better-half and I made a visit to a local South of the Border restaurant after my return to fulfill my ongoing taco obsession. It only made me want to create that Verde sauce even more. I thought about it on the way home that night and the next morning I was off to do some early food shopping.
I found the tomatillos, jalapeños, and pickled green chilies to which I added a few spices, some onions, a little jalapeno vinegar and cooked it all until soft. I threw it into a blender and liquefied it for five minutes and OMG. My eyes began watering as soon as I took the lid off of the blender.
Later that day the better-half made a pan of enchiladas over which I sprinkled a cautious amount of the hottest thing I’ve ever created. It was mean, nasty, smoking hot, and freaking delicious.
I was able to can almost a dozen jars of this sauce and it will definitely be used sparingly and as often as possible. I’m already planning the next batch so I can turn down the heat a little to make it palatable for all those so-called lovers of hot food who I’m pretty sure wouldn’t be able to handle this sauce.
“The Finished Product”
“Spring Has Definitely Arrived”
Yesterday was one of those days I look forward to every year. My better-half and I both love this time of the year regardless of the work involved. It was a day spent traveling around southern Maine visiting nurseries and buying the plants needed to complete this year’s garden. We like making a day of it and we visit as many nurseries as necessary to find the plants we’ve decided to grow.
For many years now we’ve shopped at a small nursery or what once was a small nursery along the border of Maine and New Hampshire. In the intervening years that nurseries reputation has spread and it’s no longer considered little. Healthy plants should be the goal of any nurseryman or woman and these people are the best. We tend to find their plants healthier and produce better than those purchased elsewhere. We spent at least an hour roaming through their greenhouses and making our selections. We picked up a few jalapeño and cayenne pepper plants and a selection of herbs to replace many of the ones that didn’t survive the winter.
We found some beautiful cherry tomato plants that should keep us in salad tomatoes until Fall. Those kind of tomatoes are also added to our vegetable mixes and canned. There’s nothing like having a selection of tasty garden veggies in the middle of a cold and snow covered February.
“The Rhubarb is Up”
We purchased a number of pickling cucumber plants that should deliver many dozens of cukes for making our Bread & Butter and Dill pickles as well as sweet and hot relishes. If this year’s production is as good as last year we’ll be very busy come September.
One of the items my better-half desired was a licorice herb. It’s leaves have a heavy licorice scent when heated. I personally like fennel or star anise for that flavor but I’m keeping an open mind for now. It would be a nice surprise if this new plant were easier to grow than the others and tasted better. We found the plant at our fourth nursery we visited and were very pleased. That plant can be difficult to find but certain nurseries are known for carrying the more unusual plants and we know them all.
“The Sprinkler’s are Installed”
It made for a really pleasant day and we returned home tired but happy to have found everything we were looking for. We should also have an excellent selection of herbs to harvest and dry this year to fill our requirements for the winter. Another week should get us past the danger of frost for this year and all of the new plants will be planted and left on their own to flourish for a month or two.
Our last purchase next week will be a large number of really fragrant marigold plants. We’ve learned over the years to plant them in and around the gardens to keep the critters away. Apparently small animals and even deer have a real aversion to those flower and their strong odor. If that doesn’t work then I may be forced to go the high-tech route. I have a neighbor who installed a system last year that has a motion activated sprinkler. If visited in the middle of the night by deer or other animals the sensors detect the animal and shoot a blast of water at the trespassers to scare them off. It sounds too good to be true but I’ll keep an open mind. We’ll just have to wait and see.
This morning is rainy and gray but the plants need the water and I need some time to loaf. We’ll be back at it soon enough. A few hours on the X-Box today should clear my head nicely.
Needless to say the Spring garden work and yard cleanup continues apace. The only part of my body that’s not sore or aching is the tip of my nose. Everything else is shot to hell and letting me know about it every time I move the least little bit. Fortunately all of the hard work is finally paying off which is rather satisfying for so early in the year. The better-half who is in charge of the flower gardens is already seeing amazing results as you can see by these pictures.
It occurs to me that the plants in Maine understand what a short growing season we have and make the most out of every minute with whatever rain and warmth they can find. The grass can look like a field of dirty dead plants one day and within a week it turns into a lush green carpet that very quickly needs to be cut. I added the first mowing of 2014 this week along with all of the other chores I had on my To-do list.
The herb garden suffered a little more from the winter weather than I first thought. The neighborhood cats will be highly upset when they discover the huge catnip plant has passed away. Our garden was a regular stop in their travels where they could roll around in and eat some catnip. It was like the town’s feline opium den. I suppose I’ll be replanting it once again even though my cat Stormy is unaffected by it’s influences. I made enough room in the herb garden so that a larger than normal patch of parsley can be planted. We use a great deal of parsley through the winter and we ran a little short this Spring.
“Asparagus”
The asparagus roots have been planted and hopefully within the next two years we’ll have a thriving patch to harvest from. I love it with my meals but it takes such a long time to establish before we can use it. It’s recommended that we don’t harvest from this planting until early in 2016. Patience for this I just don’t have.
The lettuces were planted yesterday as well. I’ve put in three varieties this year along with spinach and two varieties of kale. The kale is freezable and my better-half tells me that kale chips are in my future. They don’t sound all that appetizing but I’ll withhold final judgment for now.
“Spinach/Lettuce”
I’ll be waiting at least another week or two before putting in any plants that could be killed by a frost. I’ve gotten ahead of myself in past years and been burned when a late frost wiped out a large number of my plants. I guess gardening is a great way to learn patience but it’s not something I’m known for.
This garden is much smaller than most people think when they see the results each Fall. The excellent level of production takes good planning, crop rotation, great compost, and plenty of good old sunshine and water.
I consider this a modern version of the old WW II Victory Garden. It takes a little hard work and investment of time but growing and eating your own crops makes sense to me. I know what I’m eating without fear of spoiled plants or diseases and it’s fresh and tasty. It hasn’t been sitting somewhere in the back of a truck or warehouse for weeks before the store displays it for sale. Enough of my preaching, it’s time for me to climb down off my soap box and go accomplish something.
Another week of this and I’ll be all out of a gardener’s best friend, Ben-gay. I should start buying it by the case every Spring based entirely on how my butt and legs feel this morning.
Over the years I’ve become addicted to coffee in all of it’s forms. From expresso to roasted coffee beans covered in chocolate, I love it all. It started when I was in the Army and accelerated once I left the service and became a police officer. I like it hot and strong and always desire just one more steaming cup. With all of the activity taking place this Spring it really helps me to stay focused and offers that boast of energy I absolutely require.
One of the better purchases I’ve made in recent months was a K-Kup coffee maker. I now can change the type and flavor of coffee at a moments notice and I maintain a nice assortment of coffees and teas for my enjoyment. I’m in a caffeine heaven.
As a change today rather than offering a journal entry I thought I’d pass along a little coffee trivia I’ve collected. It’s way more interesting than you might think. Enjoy the following with a nice mug of your favorite brew.
-
The United States is the world’s largest consumer of coffee, importing 16 to 20 million bags annually (2.5 million pounds), representing one-third of all coffee exported. More than half of the United States population consumes coffee. The typical coffee drinker has 3.4 cups of coffee per day. That translates into more than 450,000,000 cups of coffee daily.
-
Legend has it a 9th-century Ethiopian goat herder discovered coffee by accident when he noticed how crazy the beans were making his goats.
-
New Yorkers drink almost 7 times more coffee than other cities in the US.
-
The lethal dose of caffeine is roughly 100 cups of coffee.5. A French doctor in the 1600s suggested Cafe Au Laits for patients, inspiring people to begin adding milk to coffee.
-
Espresso is regulated by the Italian government because it is considered an essential part of their daily life
-
In the 1600s there was a controversy over whether or not Catholics could drink coffee, luckily Pope Clement VIII said it was okay.
-
After the decaffeinating process, processing companies no longer throw the caffeine away; they sell it to pharmaceutical companies.
-
Coffee is the most popular beverage worldwide with over 400 billion cups consumed each year.
-
Coffee lends its popularity to the fact that just about all flavors mix well with it.
-
Here is a recipe from: ‘Kitchen Directory and American Housewife’ (1844)
"Use a tablespoonful ground to a pint of boiling water [less than a quarter of what we would use today]. Boil in tin pot twenty to twenty-five minutes. If boiled longer it will not taste fresh and lively. Let stand four or five minutes to settle, pour off grounds into a coffee pot or urn. Put fish skin or isinglass size of a nine-pence in pot when put on to boil or else the white and shell of half an egg to a couple of quarts of coffee."
“My New Best Friend”
-
The United States is the world’s largest consumer of coffee, importing 16 to 20 million bags annually (2.5 million pounds), representing one-third of all coffee exported. More than half of the United States population consumes coffee. The typical coffee drinker has 3.4 cups of coffee per day. That translates into more than 450,000,000 cups of coffee daily.
-
LESS caffeine than medium roasts. The longer a coffee is roasted, the more caffeine burns off during the process.
-
During the American Civil War the Union soldiers were issued eight pounds of ground roasted coffee as part of their personal ration of one hundred pounds of food. And they had another choice: ten pounds of green coffee beans.
-
During World War II the U.S. government used 260 million pounds of instant coffee.
-
If you like your espresso coffee sweet, you should use granulated sugar, which dissolves more quickly, rather than sugar cubes; white sugar rather than brown sugar or candy; and real sugar rather than sweeteners which alter the taste of the coffee.
-
In 1727, as a result of seedlings smuggled from Paris, coffee plants first were cultivated in Brazil. Brazil is presently by far the world’s largest producer of coffee.
-
In the 14th century, the Arabs started to cultivate coffee plants. The first commercially grown and harvested coffee originated in the Arabian Peninsula near the port of Mocha.
-
In the 16th century, Turkish women could divorce their husbands if the man failed to keep his family’s pot filled with coffee.
-
In the year 1790, there were two firsts in the United States; the first wholesale coffee roasting company, and the first newspaper advertisement featuring coffee.
-
Jamaica Blue Mountain is often regarded as the best coffee in the world.
-
Lloyd’s of London began as Edward Lloyd’s coffeehouse.
“Decaf is like masturbating with an oven mitt!” ~Robin Williams
everyuselessthing.com 